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2024-10-29 19:42:5601: no one's just good or bad, everyone is both.
×
The voices in your head could be threatening-
-leading you back to question your sanity. Leading the people around you to fear that you've drifted so far.
But the voice could be what drifts you closer, not only to understand yourself. But closer to an idea of who you are meant to be.
And only you. Only you can understand that.
×
Zach was not a normal boy, and he knew it. Tyler too.
And his mother.
They all knew he was fragile. Very easy to be broken but they didn't know what he would do if ever he was.
He didn't know either. Until then, he was. And what had become of him would only be frightening.
He looked into the mirror, one of the very seldom times-
-at the reflection of himself, his large t-shirt that dropped closely above his knees whilst his mother handled her vintage camera-
-capturing every moment of all the places they had been all summer which could only have been the posts and corners of their small apartment.
She wore on her sky blue scrubs, slightly rumpled as if only just briskly ironed from a packet and her identification hanging below the V that met across her flattened breasts.
She stood, smiling at her son, who frankly speaking, just wanted to get this day over with. He hung the bag around his shoulders as he stepped aside, throwing his messy room, one last look before leaving-
-leaving with the thought and the fear that he couldn't brace himself for what he had ahead.
"Are you ready?" Regina flashed a proud smile as she couldn't help but grasp his cheeks in her palms.
"Mum, you don't need to do that" He scoffed as they both made their way through the door, him, having to walk by his sides. But anyways-
×
RENNÉ HIGH, PARIS.
You could see the structural outline from a distance, and that was enough to instill the nervousness in Zach as they drove closer to the institution
"I don't think i can walk in there. Why can't i just be homeschooled like a normal teenager?" He asked and even he knew that was a joke.
"Your idea of normal really freaks me out these days" Regina didn't fail to lift off the tension between them.
He let out a light scoff as she finally halted her hyundai accord in the parking lot, and amidst the flood of students that walked around the interlocked grounds.
The most of them were excited, chattering about the places they'd visited over the summer, the parties, the beaches and only some, their one night stands.
Secret crushes. And forbidden kisses.
The others just stood aside, cursing the ones that invented school that shortened their summer. They were the cool ones that didn't give half a fuck.
While others held unto the friends they hadn't seen in months, the rest stood aside with headphones and feet against the washed walls and their eyes fixated on the screens of their phones and tabs.
"Remember, you have the chance to reinvent yourself now, not that I'm not happy with who you are now" Regina grasped his hands into hers as she smiled.
"People like me don't just get to reinvent-"
"People will see what they want to see. You'll find your people" This mother whispered to her son and he stepped out of the car, holding that thought to him.
And immediately the whistling winds hit across his face and he stared up at this landmark building, what he most hoped for, had come to pass.
He ended up taking some steps forward as he looked to the ground, only his hands around the straps of his blue black striped backpack.
And it was only after the first seconds that he was able to look up, to find out everyone else was too busy to look at this self loathing huge teenager that had stumbled upon this school.
His wish that had come true.
Unlike the school in Colorado, Zach had hoped to get through this day, and these self centered people were more than a blessing to him.
He had turned to catch a glimpse of his mother as she drove away, who was desperately trying not to be late to the hospital she had gotten a job at-
-things had began to look up for these two after all that happened.
After all, that was the only way they could afford the house and the tuition for Renné High.
He didn't hesitate to look around for a quiet spot from him, he was so used to the hiding and the judgemental stares.
Immediately whom he assumed was the principal, accompanied with the dean had stepped out of the opened doors with a smile and outstretched arms, the students began to flood in, some excitedly-
-and others, grudgingly.
His oversized jeans held to his legs as he walked at his swiftness and in his lopsided gait, towards the assembly of people at the sound of the bell-
-but it was then he walked past a group of people, only a few but whom he could swear were whispering about him.
"I'm used to it. I'll find my people" Zach had whispered to reassure himself to carry on as he exhaustedly climbed unto the stairs that led into the hallway.
×
As Zach stood, facing Mr Sanders giving his welcome speech which happened to be an annual event, his thoughts had wandered afar.
'what if there was a special school for the people like me?'
It was so easy for him to drawn into his thoughts, his head that was full of these fantasies.
His dark imaginations.
Zachary's safe space.
'was there ever a chance for my self redemption?'
'would i ever forgive myself for w-'
"Zachary Harrison Dempsey" He swore he had dimly heard his name earlier as he was quickly drifted from his thoughts.
"Zachary" He had now heard louder from the principal's lips and to the murmurs of the parting students that looked to him.
"Zach" Sanders called.
And it took a while to realize he had called unto the new transfer students.
Hardly did anyone transfer during senior year, except it was offspringed from something really serious and by the looks of the people that glared as he walked towards Sanders-
-there were interested in knowing. Because Zach was not like any of them. He didn't look like these people.
Murmurs spiraled in the halls as he walked lopsidedly to the front of the crowd in his black t-shirt and large denim jeans as he began to feel his pounding heartbeat.
He stood by a number of people, one of whom he noticed had stared piercingly at him. "Hi" He stammered.
He exhaled in the silence as a sudden breeze blew past his face-
"Hi. I'm Zach. Zach Dempsey" He whispered and it was almost okay for him as he looked at the intense stares-
-before there was a yell that sprung from the crowds that almost came as sudden as a shock to Zachary.
He was taken aback by the words of one of them-
"Fatty Zakky" His words came to Zach as he looked at the now jeering people suddenly amused by the shaming joke, with some of the people, going as far as to holding out a pointing finger.
Zachary felt a load around his chest, pulling him to the ground as he breathed heavily, his eyes budged as he stepped back, his arm, knocking over the mic stand.
The sounds of the jeering grew louder as his anxiety kicked in, and he had to hold up himself, not to fall to the ground-
-and all he thought of as tears formed along the line of his eyes, was how he could feel his face with all the food he could reach.
And how, coming here today, was a terrible mistake. About how his existence was a terrible mistake.
He was so quick to do that.
He didn't like to feel this and food took care of that. He might still need therapy, he knew it.
He was not a normal boy, and he knew it.
Tyler too.
And his mother.
They all knew he was fragile.
Very easy to be broken but they didn't know what he would do if ever he was.
He didn't know either. Until he was.
To be continued...
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IRENE FOUR
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IRENE SIX
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IRENE THIRTY-FIVE
36: bonny and clydeZachary stood up from the grounds. At least he had tried to, before it made a loud thud, forcing him to loose balance. In his eyes, he'd seen the risen flames that engulfed the car that just blew up.And he stared at his mother's own, not invincible to severe damage as it rammed into the wall, forcing a dent in the front. The flames lit his eyes as he stood again, this time with his whole body shaking.He'd realized the damage he had done and it opened his eyes as he made an attempt to run back somewhere as he heard the sound of approaching sirens. His eyes still whirled from jumping out of a vehicle as he waved it off, staggering.'Kat' He had tried to call in his mind as he limped. 'Kat' He made his way away from the disaster. And soon, tears had welled up in his eyes as the sirens drew nearer. He had no idea what he was to do.And he might have contemplated
IRENE THIRTY-FOUR.
35: you were only seventeen.“Regina”“Oh Regina”He ended the voicemail with the same words he began with.With the soft call of his wife’s name.And Zachary couldn’t even bring him to hear it all again. He even had tears falling frailly down his cheeks as he tossed it away.He sniffled as he attempted to communicate with Katharina while his ears fell on his favorite song on the radio. It was timely, perhaps——cigarette daydreams by Cage the Elephant.What a name you would have thought, but it meant something more to Zachary. The lyrics, because food was his cigarette that he was addicted to. And also the fact that he was barely even seventeen and still faced as much strugg
IRENE THIRTY-THREE
34: when i'm away from you.ZÜRICH, CH.Six hours.All it took was six hours for them to pass right under the landmark that Zachary could very well recognize. From that night.And just like that, sharp memories hit his head. He remembered he was in a bus—“Katharina” He remembered yelling as he stood. And he saw the pairs of eyes that shifted towards him as he continued shouting. “Please make sure you stay somewhere safe”“I need to get off this bus” He yelled.“Sir w—”He shut his mind to these memories as he turned his face to his mother whose eyes were fixated on the roads. They had barely talked for those six hours.Barely, in every sense of that word. They just managed to exchange a few glances, some of which they caught and of
IRENE THIRTY-TWO
33: give me a day, or two.Amy made her way to her house. She stopped once shed come out of the alley and halted to rake a breath. Looking around, she acknowledged the beauty that this particular city held.And how she was going to leave it all behind.+“Terrence” Her aunt called as she made her way through the door and unto the stairway. For some reason, she didn’t find it weird calling the last name they both shared.Sometimes it was Terrence, or Tee. And from her uncle, Terry. Through the past months since she left her parents, she was insured in their hands. And though, Amy never missed her parents, she often felt she had to. She was obliged to.Perhaps the reason she didn’t was their pathetic attempt to get rid of Sally.She looked back to Mrs Terrence, or simp
IRENE THIRTY-ONE
31: two villains. You see there’s something i saw somewhere. A villain or a hero. There’s really not much difference. Because we all have blood on our hands. At least they both did. Both Zachary and Kat. So maybe there was no even hero amongst them. Just villains, desperate for each other. RENNÉ, PARIS. As soon as they drove into the town, Zachary was hit with the familiar scent of Paris. And the sights and towers of which he admired. He clung to the side of the windows like a hungry dog to a fleshy bone and his pupils dilated at the sight. Nostalgia burst inside of him and he couldn’t even tell why he was this excited. Perhaps it was because he would finally get to see Amy again. And he knew the last time he had left, it wasn’t on good terms. And he feared that merely the voi
IRENE THIRTY
30: moving forward.NOWThe line connected and he heard a voice from the other line. "Hi, i'm Zachary Dempsey. And i have information regarding the death of Michael Stones and his daughter whom you have in South Jail—"He heaved his breath, speaking in his lowest tone so that Regina could not pick up the sound of his voice. "What exactly do you know?" He could hear the sound of typing keys on a board and he sighed.It showed how desperate they were for a lead, especially since they already had Katharina and she, for as far as they knew, wasn’t going to say a word."Katharina Stones" He made it clear that he wasn't done. "You have the wrong person, because she didn't kill that man. And she most definitely didn't burn down his building" Zachary said."I did. On Monday the 12th of July. It was a crisp night and he deserved to die. Trust me" There was
IRENE TWENTY NINE
29: time will tell.You know, for the rest of their lives. Both Zachary Dempsey and Katharina Stones——they would always have to wonder, was the sole of their connection to do something good as help or save themselves, or something worse as murder.It all depended on the perspective they’d choose to see it. And was their destiny just kill.They would soon find out, in what would not only be their flop era, but also a tumultuous life moving forward. And alas, will they then wish that they had never met each other? Only a matter of time.Le temps nous le dira.*TWENTY FOUR HOURS EARLIERHer hair stood on its edge as the sound of the sirens drew closer. She couldn’t believe it, in a moment of a panic attack——that s
IRENE TWENTY-EIGHT
28: how did we end up here?It was almost empty.Like an abandoned building, it actually was. Till Nick moved in. Katharina had remembered how she felt once he opened the door to her.Her eyes narrowed at the cottage with tall, holed roof that she began to imagine how much of a mess it was every time it rained. She halted, cupping her chin from looking above and then her gaze fell on Nick. He introduced himself that moment.And she did the same. “Hi” She whispered.“I’m Katharina” She added and he reluctantly took a step backward, taken aback by this stranger. And he stared in silence for a moment. She did the same.And she noticed how sick he looked. Anorexically lean in his puffed jacket and oversized pants. He had a cap tilted to the back of his head. She noticed his size from his bare neck. And he had lost some hair, perhaps
IRENE TWENTY-SEVEN
27: if you can hold on, hold on.“If you really love him, half as much as claim to—”“This random perfect stranger that’s all made up in your head, is not the person here. It’s not Zach” Katharina had let the echoes of her whisper get to her as she ran through the fields.The echoes of no other than, Regina. His mother.“Both of you are bad for each other. Look what happened, a moment away from me. Look at the news, where is your mother? Look at him” She said. “What was the grand plan?” Reggie threw questions at her as she cupped her chin to look down.“I don’t know”“That is it, there is no grand plan. The truth is both of you bring out the worst in each other, so if you love him half as much as you claim to, you’ll
