Fúck my life

LILITH'S POV

My head hurt, and likewise, my throat. It wasn't easy to keep my eyes open because it closed by itself as soon as I opened them. I couldn't remember the last time I tasted booze.

It was my first time in La Notte, and I was clueless about what was being done. Someone had offered me a drink, and I had drunk without thinking. That was the first time I suffered from a hangover, and also the last time I stopped drinking since I tend to do something out of the ordinary.

When I mean out of the ordinary, I embarrass myself.

Last night, I never wanted to drink, but it was the only thing that could keep me calm. I never would have imagined that a glass would knock me out cold.

Shifting on the bed, I heaved a breath, pushing back the nausea that surged through me, before opening my eyes. They slowly accommodated to the brightness of the room.

I glanced at myself as I felt exposed. I couldn't remember slipping out of my clothes last night or maybe I had changed before returning home because I was always careful not to appear in the house in my slutty attire. Yet, I shouldn't be naked.

My eyes widened as I saw the crimson liquid staining the side I was seated on. I furrowed my brows as I tried to recall what had happened last night.

"Fuck," I winced, pushing my hand inside my hair as I did.

"Fuck, Fuck, Fuck." I murmured, stumbling out of bed.

I breathed in for the second time, holding the post of the bed as dizziness washed over me.

"You didn't just give your virginity to a random stranger, Lilith Russo. You didn't just fuck someone you are supposed to get something from."

I pinched myself, glancing back at the bed, but the blood was still there.

I was in a deep shit. How had I ended up in bed with Giovanni when all I needed to do was ask him a few questions and make him fall for my charm?

"Jesus Christ, Lilith, you have some fucking explaining to do," I walked to my clothes that were spewed on the floor and gathered them before walking into the bathroom.

What do I say to Marco? That I was sorry and had fucked the man I should seduce after a drink? No, that wasn't even good enough.

What about my mother and brother? They must have been worried sick that I hadn't returned the night before.

I had a quick shower and slipped into my clothes, even though they stank of alcohol and sweat.

I returned to the bedroom and picked up my bag from the floor. I didn't even know where I was. How the hell do I go home from here?

Looking around the room to find at least a hint of where my location could be, I slipped my hand into my purse, searching for my phone.

A note on the nightstand caught my attention. Walking towards it, I picked it up.

"The hotel is paid for the whole day, you are free to do as you desire. Left some money in the drawers. Don't forget to take the bedsheet with you, I paid for a new one." Then he went further to scribble the address and how I could find my way out.

If he hadn't just made me look like a cheap whore, I'd have thought this gesture was sweet.

Opening the drawer, I stared at the neatly arranged new euro notes in there. Taking it, I counted it, twice.

"20 fucking thousand euros!" I exclaimed my eyes widening. Who gives such an amount for a night, anyway?

It was either two thousand euros, usually the maximum, or less than that. In all, it depends on the prostitute, but they were never paid higher.

Sometimes, I wondered why it was done for such a meager sum of money. I believed no one would mind if it were for this amount that Giovanni had given me.

I stared at the money for a long time, contemplating whether to take it or not. After a brief second of thinking, I decided to take it with the latter.

I had lost my virginity by acting like a whore even though I could barely remember what had happened between us; taking the money would make me look like a complete whore. Yet, taking it would still make me look like one, seeing as I had opened myself up to him quickly.

There was no reason to waste such money by leaving it. Stuffing the money into my purse, I glanced around the room, before stepping out.

⫷◍◍◍◍◍◍◍◍◍⫸

"You didn't do that, Lily!" My best friend, Casey shouted as she set the cup of coffee down on the table.

She pushed a strand of her curly brown locks to the side of her head, before narrowing her warm brown eyes on me.

I winced, gripping my head. I was still suffering from the hangover. I wondered why I had decided to leave the room to be with Casey here. But I knew if I hadn't heeded her call, she would never have forgiven me for ignoring her calls.

Going home wasn't as bad as I had thought. That was because Casey had covered for me. She lied about me sleeping over, and I was too tired to answer my mother's call.

My mother trusted Casey, because what wasn't there to trust? Casey was a good girl; we had been friends since 8th grade.

I was even luckier that my mother hadn't seen me in my choice of outfit, so it would have been hard to trust what Casey had said. She was intelligent and would know that I wasn't with Casey.

"Jesus Christ, Casey, pipe down. You are going to blow off my fucking head!" I scowled at her.

"Bruh," Casey ignored my glare sidling into the seat opposite mine. "Spill the tea, I need to know every fucking details about what happened. Don't even think about holding anything out, because I'm going to haunt your fucking ass!"

I leaned forward, "Every damned person in this room will know I had a fucking nightstand, and the words will get to my mother if you don't keep your voice low. Besides, I do not recall what happened."

I rubbed my temple, leaning back on the chair. I observed as people came in and out of the entrance. Riley's cafe was downtown and a five-minute walk to my house. Not only do they serve the best coffee in town, but they also serve hangover soup.

When Casey called me out of the house, having my hangover soup while discussing it here was the only thing I could think of.

"WTF, Lily? How can you pop your fucking cherry, and you don't even remember a thing? I gave you all the explicit details of mine, and you promised to do the same for me, but now you're hoarding info." Casey let out an exasperated sigh.

I didn't even want to go into details of how she had lost her virginity. It was too explicit that, thinking about it now, I seemed to be innocent compared to her.

"Well, I don't. Not my fault, though; I was knocked out cold," I said.

"Eww, Lily. What man sleeps with an unconscious woman?"

I wouldn't say I was unconscious because I could remember speaking incoherently to him, leading him on. But what ensued afterward, I couldn't remember.

"I had a 20k euros for that," I pointed to my purse, tossing it towards her.

Casey caught it and stared inside the purse, "Fuck my life," Casey returned the purse to me, "Mother Earth seemed to hate me. What's the essence of my existence if I can't get something as good as that? I am barely paid 5k euros and that's from multiple jobs!"

"Look at these huge racks," she pointed to her ample bust, "I even got it done, but no one seems to want it. I have a perfect body, Lily, but I tend to meet the most fucked up men ever."

"They are not worth your attention," I said to her. Casey was soft and romantic at heart. She was often taken advantage of due to her softness. She wanted an actual prince charming.

But I didn't think the men around her, at least the few ones I had seen her with worth her attention. They were only there to fuck and smoke with her.

"You're still young, Casey. You'll definitely get a prince charming one day," I pointed out.

She was two years older than I was but I didn't think she finding love should be her forte because she had a lot to live for.

Or maybe I was trying to impose my wants on her because I didn't want love. I wasn't interested in one seeing how my mother ended up. A lot of men messed her up, and I didn't want to end up the same way.

Yet, I had done the most unintelligible thing with a stranger. What did that make me?