2:Asecond chance

-Lolary? Are you with us? You hear me Answer Yes by squeezing my hand twice in a row and No only once.

I pressed twice in a row on the hand of the person who was speaking....

Yes, I was there, I heard and felt everything, yet I couldn't open my eyes.

Nor to open your mouth to articulate anything...

Or even move too much...

I felt heavy, foggy, exhausted and almost disconnected from my own body.

I felt the voice still speaking....But I felt myself leaving, slipping.....

So in a rush of despair I squeezed the person's hand...

No, no, all things considered...I'm no longer with you...I feel myself drifting...leaving...floating.....

- QUICKLY! BRING THE MATERIALS! THE RHYTHM OF HIS HEART IS SLOWING DOWN CONSIDERATELY! WE'RE GOING TO LOSE HER! I SAID WE'RE GOING TO LOSE HER!!!

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-I forbid you from leaving, you hear! Damn Lary! I swear you're not going to leave now! Wake up the fuck! DO NOT LEAVE ME!

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The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was the fan hanging from the ceiling spinning awkwardly above my head...

Then my eyes drifted to rest on a young woman dressed in a white dress and a nurses' headdress.

When she turned around she smiled at me.

-Good evening, you are finally awake!

What, I couldn't have slept that long. If?

She must have seen my frightened look, but she just said...

-I'm going to call the doctor.

Then with a silent step she left the room to return 5 minutes later accompanied by a tall man. A stethoscope around his neck.

-Hello, I'm Doctor Harrys and I've been following you since you arrived at the hospital last Thursday.

Should I say "enchanted" or something like that...Wait last Thursday? But today is Tuesday according to the calendar on the side of my bed.

-Yes you slept for almost a week.

On second thought, I prefer to keep quiet.

-How are you feeling?

- As if a ton of elephant passed over me. I groan.

There was a laugh and he came closer to me and felt my pulse.

-Which is very normal, given the amount of drugs that were in your blood.

He pauses....Then continues.

-You overdosed and I thought I wouldn't be able to get you out of there.

The news hit me like a slap in the face.

-I forbid you from leaving, you hear! Damn Lary.

I froze in shock as I felt my hands begin to shake.

Wake up the fuck! DO NOT LEAVE ME!

-I...I...I almost....Die?

So this voice? Was she real or not real?

This voice caught my attention so much that I didn't let myself go just to put a face to it.

Weird!

Without taking his eyes off me, he whispered slowly.

-No, you were dead for 3 minutes and 43 seconds then your heart started beating again as if life was giving you a second chance...

For a moment he seems troubled and confused. To end up confiding in me.

-You are a miracle....I....don't understand why you are still here.

He placed his hand on mine.

I felt my eyes water as I took in the nature of the news... then I felt it well up inside me and...

I burst out laughing!

Even the doctor cringed!

After all, I was just told that I had been resurrected and I was laughing like crazy!

-Sorry. ....c....It's just....that....

I couldn't contain myself...

Who is the fucking mutt who said God doesn't have a sense of humor?

I swear to you !

The doctor waited for my laughter to stop.

-I never interfere in the lives of my patients and even less in their choices. But the only thing I can tell you is that not everyone is given a second chance.

I knew what he was referring to.

-Now, he said in a sympathetic tone. Please stand up Miss so that I can examine you.

Suddenly the feeling of the familiar voice came back to me like an echo.

-Uh doctor, I ask. Was there anyone with you when I was....uh....

-Dead? Does he tick without delicacy

-Yes that's it ! I chuckle.

-Not that I know of. Sorry.

-But who took me to the emergency room?

-Well, we thought you came alone, miss. We found you sleeping in the hall unconscious around 7 a.m. There was no one with you.

It was getting weirder and weirder.

Who is - because there is someone who brought me here - this person?

How could this person take me to the emergency room so quickly? Because before I passed out, it was 6:51 am.

******

Two knocks sounded on my bedroom door and before I could even say enter a woman in a business suit and a tight bun entered the room.

With a smile of decorum she begins.

-Good morning! You are Lolary Amnell, aren't you?

I only nodded suspiciously.

-GOOD.

She took one of the chairs decorating the room and pulled it close to my bed, sat down on it and held out her hand before continuing.

-Pleased to meet you, I am Amanda Clark, your new social worker.

I looked at the outstretched hand before staring at it with disdain as inside I seethed.

Honestly My WHAT!....do I look like I'm 12 years old or something? ....

-I beg your pardon? I took offense in a pinched tone...do I look like I need a Baby Sitter?

-If you want my sincere opinion, she replied imperturbably...Yes! Because given your File that I recently consulted. You are incapable of taking charge of yourself and you even came close to death from too much drugs!

Thanks as if I didn't know!

-I don't care about your opinion! It was just a polite way of telling you to get out of here.

What if I hadn't just sent her a joke? She took a stack of documents out of her satchel and started looking through them.

-Here I have the signature of the doctor, and the director of your high school who agree that in fact your psychological, physical and moral situation is not stable following certain unfortunate circumstances which have in fact established a certain form of trauma in you post-untreated which followed very great circumstances until you became your own danger to yourself....what must be taken into account immediately is the reason for my presence here.

Plus she couldn't even pronounce the word 'Rape' and she thinks she's a social worker!

-And blablabla I honestly have nothing to worry about, understand?, I'M OKAY! No need to “take care of me” as you say!

-I fear that, Miss Amnell, that you no longer have a say in this matter....You are an addict, of drugs, alcohol and self-harm. You are incapable of taking care of yourself and it is the same for your family who cannot do it for you....that is why tomorrow you will return to a reformatory.

-Wait WHAT! SO YOU CAN STILL RUN! THIS IS ALL A FUCKING JOKE! I DON'T KNOW YOU AND VICE VERSA SO DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO LET MYSELF DO THIS! NEVER! BECAUSE THERE’S NO WAY I GET LOCKED UP LIKE MY MOTHER! IT'S CLEAR! THIS IS OUT OF THE QUESTION!

- Listen Lolary he is....

-NO! WE HAVE NOTHING ANYMORE TO TELL US SO GET OUT OF HERE!

The doctor followed by the nurse entered the room, panicked by my cries....But I didn't want their presence, I wanted them all to go out!

Nor the damn doctor who signed the damn documents...

Nor the nurse with her fake angel face...

And even less this social assistance bitch...

Yet they remained there, all there! to want more than anything to want to calm down! But I didn't want to calm down! Because damn how much hate I have right now! I wanted to blow it all up! To screw up! Explode...

-I SAID: GO AWAY!

They end up leaving. So exhausted I threw myself on the bed and burst into tears....

I started to empty these tears....these fucking tears that imprison me.

I am in pain! No, it hurts too much!

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It had been an hour since the nurse came back with my supper and wished me good night.

So I guess she's finished her shift.

So without wasting a minute I jumped out of my bed, put on my moccasins and headed towards the door.

I opened it and stuck my head through the crack.

There is nothing suspicious.

So I went out and closed the door after me and walked down the hall to take the elevator.

But what was my great surprise when I discovered two security agents stationed near it.

But I convinced myself that I was not the reason and casually I continued to move forward.

In fact, these security agents were not there for me because I was able to leave the hospital without problem.

In any case, it’s not Lolary who we’re going to put in a reformatory!

I stole a bus ticket to get away from the city center.

It's been a while since I've been this sober.

And frankly it bothers me. At the hospital they emptied me and I didn't have any weight.

I choose to lie down on a park bench, just to let the sun beat down on my head. Since I was little, this tactic has always managed to calm me down.

Maybe I'll be able to fall asleep...my foot hurts from running so hard to escape the hospital.

And of course, I took the stairs because an elevator would have drawn too much attention to me.

Then in films the actors always take the stairs.

Suddenly I received an icy jet in the face. I jumped, and sat up coughing because the liquid had also entered my nose.

-I'm not sorry at all! A sneering voice followed by the burst of flashy laughter from other people.

I opened my eyes, really angry.

Phew! What do they want from me?

I recognized one of them, he was a student at my high school and is a big idiot that everyone avoided, he bothered everyone except my team. With me, Pao and Savio doing boxing, we were pretty quiet.

Anyway, I lay down again on the bench hoping that he and his two other rednecks would go elsewhere.

I felt so tired, so stressed, so fucking needy! That I needed to refocus on myself in the sun, until my headache and aching limbs subsided so I could run to the next town to resupply.

- Ah Shuck! Looks like she's snubbing you!

How can a guy have this rattling voice? Or is it my migraine that distorts everything?

- Oh yeah, you think so? He kicks me. This, this animated flesh can't snub me! (I flinch) not true Popular Vegan!

I didn't move following the allusion made to my previous life as a popular girl who everyone dreams of hanging out with. After everything that happened to me, I find this version of me so cliché and naive, that I prefer to ignore its barbs

After all, I'm not that girl anymore.

-Maybe, but you're still the most popular girl in town.

Oh, did I speak out loud?

Drug.....

- Even when you're shit, you still have to be the star, that's it! In the XTIS club there was only Lolary! His voice became acidic and there was a hint of resentment.

Finally I opened one eye absently.

-You boxed?

Concentrate...e-don't think about the sex!

-IF I BOXED! He loses his temper. SHOCK! I'm Shucker, I attended XTIS long before you....you still shit in your diaper...

-Cool.

I clenched my fists, I really couldn't concentrate.

-Shuck is the strongest now. He dethroned you. Praises one of his friends in a confident voice.

- Well done. Congratulations. I replied in a toneless voice. Can you break now?

Frankly, I felt more and more overwhelmed despite my apparent calm.

Suddenly I felt myself being pulled by my hair and thrown to the ground. My head bounced off the pavement and the shock made me see stars for a second.

I didn't even have time to breathe before I received a kick in the stomach again which took my breath away.

Since when did he have such strength in his foot?

-That's what always irritated me about you. ALWAYS TAKE YOURSELF AS THE MOST SPECIAL PERSON IN THE WORLD. And the fact that others saw you as such didn't help your big head, did it?

His two friends stood me up while holding me firmly.

He punched me in the face.

- But now I'm the strongest, you dirty whore!

- And how come you need your two idiots to hold me down. I let go tiredly.

He gasped angrily at my tirade. He signaled to his friends to let go of me.

- You know I was so happy when I learned that your pussy was fucked by 4 guys! That's all a whore like you deserves! Just to bring you back to earth! But even that wasn't enough for you! Maybe your mother should have been stoned alongside you. Fucking mother and daughter. Would have been hot! Those idiots should have thought of that!

For the first time in a long time, I felt a pang of anger.

And I looked at him.

I really looked at him. Can we really wish that for someone? ?

- What? He understood that he had reached me. Wasn't that enough for you? Would you have wanted more? 10 maybe? I'm sure it wasn't rape, huh! You wanted to have a foursome and....

He pushed me against the bench.

- And you deserve another one. he finished looking at me with this lustful look, like they had looked at me.

What he was telling me made no sense, that’s clear! This guy was inconsistent, I know it! A complete idiot who didn't even know his right from his left.

I knew all this.

But laugh at my misfortune. ...

Let cruelty say such things!

While for me. It was my personal hell.

Slowly I got up, while my lack of feeling went away and was gradually replaced by something hot, strong and which spread throughout my muscles stiff under tension.

And the dam broke.

Blinded by hatred, anger and injustice, by silence, incomprehension and the feeling of betrayal.

I let everything out and Shuck and her friends were the victims of my black anger which, like lava, ravaged everything in its path.

Again, I started boxing again...

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The sound of an insistent ringing woke me up. I growled and sent a murderous look to the policeman who was not the least bit disturbed.

-You can go.

I stood staring at him for a moment.

Go where ?

He sighed, took the keys out of his pocket and opened the door to my cell.

- You are free to leave, you are lucky because we paid your bail and pleaded for you for self-defense. You will not have a criminal record this time.

I shrugged my shoulders.

I didn't really care about all that anyway.

- Wait! But who paid my bail?

Of course he's not my father!

He motioned for me to come out and have a look and that's what I did. As I walked towards the counter to collect my things, I looked around the room and didn't recognize anyone who could pay me the deposit.

I shrugged my shoulders and stormed out of the station without regret.

- Well, not even a thank you!? A voice rang out with a hint of irony

I stopped and turned around to meet my so-called savior.

And I don't know him, that's clear.

But looking at his countless tattoos and his leather clothes....there's no sign that he's either a drug dealer or some other cavalier thing that rhymes with illegality.

- What do you want in exchange? I spit on my guard.

He gave a little chuckle.

- First of all, I'm glad you know that everything has a price.

He took a step forward menacingly and I didn't step back.

- That means you'll be a survivor.

- Shorten it if you want.

- You didn't thank me.

- No need because you will surely use me for this service.

He gave a simple smile.

- It seems that before you got fucked and got into sex you were an excellent boxer. You're an excellent boxer, just look at how you knocked out Shuck and his friends single-handedly.

- You insult me If it's for crushing these 3 losers that you think I'm good.

- I am a free fighter recruiter. If I chose to invest in you, it's because I have a flair for talent. I don't belong to gangs.

He takes a short break and lets go.

-You become my boxer for 3 months and make me a lot of money all over Idaho and we're even.

-I didn't ask you anything.

-I can always go back, you know.

Bastard!

He knows perfectly well that no one would want to go back to that hole.

Why do I feel like this is a one-sided conversation?

He nonchalantly lights a cigarette and adds while turning around.

- And you don't really have a choice. You're smart enough to guess how it works. It's either that or you pay me back my $2,000 bail and the other $5,000 for clearing your record and the serious charges against you.

He started to leave while placing an iPhone on one of the benches that lined the police station building.

- I will contact you.

He raised his right hand which held his cigarette as if to respond.

-By the way, I'm Melz and you should also find a nickname. And when you fight for me, you too will earn a lot of money and thus buy everything you want. It's win win.

Like your cam for example

He didn't need to say it.

I understood the allusion perfectly.

Then we both knew I was lost.

That I was going to work for him anyway. ...

Because I was the weakest.

And weakness is unforgivable.