6. KNOWS 2

ICE

I emptied the whiskey in my goblet and followed Trace and Atlas after they left me in the study alone. I walked to the hallway while glancing at the lifesize portraits of the Ferreiras and Silvas family members along the way. My image was there too, same with Trace and his sister Paige, Atlas and his twin Althea, in the counterpart of the Silvas, Hail and Brix portraits can be seen too. 

As I entered the conference room, all their eyes looked at me. Everyone is waiting for me, obviously. 

I stepped in boringly.

“Mabuti at nandito ka na, hijo.” Mama said and I smiled at her. She used the Filipino language so only a few could understand. Ganoon naman niya ako kausapin kapag kaming dalawa lang talaga. 

That is a certain fact of being someone with Filipino blood, kahit saan yata makaabot ay lalabas pa rin ang pagiging Filipino. I am not good in accent of the language but I can comprehend and speak fluently. Being raised in this kind of family, we need to be linguist. Hindi nga lang kasama ang Filipino language sa inaaral pero dahil ang mama ko naman ang nagturo sa akin ay ibang usapan na iyon. 

My mother being half-Filipina, that makes me quarter-Filipino. At isa pa, usually ay gano’n si Mama kapag nagwo-worry siya sa akin at ayaw niyang ipaalam kay Papa ang pag-aalala niya. Ayaw na ayaw kasi ni Papa na nagmumukha akong hindi makaalis sa nangyari sa nakaraan. 

Indeed. Papa thought that thinking about what had happened before was wasting time. That I should focus ahead and stop whining about the past. 

Again, I closed my eyes to relive the memory in my thoughts. It is still painful. Fucking painful! But I need it... I need it to never forget how my family was bombed to death and to never forget about my plan to revenge.

And that tattooed woman… I am inquisitive about her. 

Questions in my head are not only for the mastermind of the tragedy but also… 

Why did she save me after I thought she would kill me? 

How did she know the FSO and my connection with the family’s organization? 

And why… why can’t she be found? Is she still alive? I hope so. How I hope so.

“Ice, can we start this meeting?” Trace asked me with irritation on his face because of boredom. “I need to go to the US after this. I am a very busy person, just to inform you.”

“Sim, vamos começar,” I walked to my chair. 

Mama gets out of the room among other family members who were not part of the board meeting. Ans for two hours, I listened to their reports, checked the figures, and gave the floor for their proposal.

“May I have the floor now?” Trace asked all of us. 

I gave him a side glance, this cousin of mine was not interested before in FSO, which is why I don’t know why he is here with a proposal.

“May I have the floor now, Ice?” Trace repeated his query, and I cocked my brows to gesture at him to say what he wanna say. 

“Thanks, my proposal is simple. Join Foedus.” 

My eyes boringly looked at him and saw Atlas was grinning beside him. Atlas has an idea already about what Trace is planning, of course. Magkasabwat na naman ang dalawa.

“Trace, you are the head of Foedus and a member of FSO. You are enough already to represent us in that organization.” Papa was the one who spoke that. 

“Tio Ansel, look… I am giving this family's organization its chance to be protected by Foedus.”

“Are you telling me that FSO is nothing compared to your Foedus?” I sense papa's hypertension is starting as Trace's words are kinda insulting. 

“Well, let us face the fucking fact, Tio Ansel. The supposed head of this organization is Brix’s adopted son, right?” Trace asked a question I sensed was dangerous for him. 

Brix's eyes daggered to Trace as soon as the latter heard the 'adopted' word for his youngest son. I smirked dahil mukhang may mag-aaway na ilang sandali pa. 

"Trace, are you telling me that Art doesn't deserve to be my heir?" galit na tanong na ni Brix. I grinned, sabi ko na nga. Trouble yata ang hanap ni Trace sa pag-attend ng meeting ngayon.

"I am just stating a fact, Brix." Trace to Brix na hindi na okay ang itsura. "Stop acting like I said those words to Art's face. I treated the boy as yours and never questioned his identity. I am only pointing out something that everyone here should consider."

I sighed. Looking at my cousins while listening to their points of view made me think about how chaotic we are now. Then a flash from the past made me remember her. Hell...

****

“I’m gonna show you something, Ice.” She told me while I was hugging her. She was only eighteen, and I was twenty-three. We were in a hotel where I booked us for a night. She's my girl, and we have been seeing each other for two months. 

“What is it?” I asked curiously while smiling at how she looked happy.

“I have a tattoo…” she excitedly informed me. 

“Tattoo?”

“Look!” She showed me the letter ‘I’ on the side of her left breast. 

“I?” I was speechless; obviously, it was my initial. 

“It’s your initial.” She giggled and started undressing. “I only have tonight to spare with you, Ice.” 

After she had undressed, she pushed me into bed. She positioned above me and kissed me while unbuttoning and unzipping my pants. Her hands were trembling while doing that. 

I pulled her, and I kissed her deeply. I love her. I knew I loved her… and what she did make my member rock hard.

****

“Com o devido respeito, Tio Anselmo! Estou apenas preocupado com FSO e o que estu dizendo é a verdade que esta organização precisa de Foedus!” Trace’s persuading voice makes my attention back to the meeting. 

I clicked my tongue as I made a tsk sound. If I do not intervene, my father will start to punish this arrogant cousin of mine in our family's way of discipline.

“We are not interested in joining Foedus, Trace.” I end their discussion. 

“Hah! Really, Ice?” he mockingly asked me.

“Told ya!” Atlas said in his light tone to Trace. “Just accept the screwing fact that I am the only one interested in being part of your Foedus, Trace.” 

“No one will join Foedus!” I almost growled with every word I said to stop their nonsense. 

“Fuck you!” Trace said that in his 'fantastic' way. 

“Mouth, Patricio!” That was Tio Anton. 

When I glance at Hail and Brix ay hindi umiimik ang magkapatid. Like telling me na bahala na ako dahil ayaw na nilang patulan si Trace.

Ibinalik ko ang tingin ko kay Trace. His heavy breathing was evident; I knew it was because he didn’t like my decision. I shook my head in disbelief at what was happening. He just came out of nowhere and now acts like an angel from heaven sent to guide us. 

There is nothing wrong with his proposal, but FSO is still prospering, so we don't need an alliance, especially Foedus. 

FSO could stand on its own. 

I agreed on what he said to me earlier in the study room, na kung sa Foedus ay matutulungan niya ako mahanap ang nagpapatay sa pamilya ko. Iyong bagay na iyon ay naniniwala ako pero ang ipinamumukha niya sa aming lahat na kailangan ng FSO ang Foedus niya ay isang kalokohan.

We continued the meeting. Trace and Atlas no longer said a word. Tahimik na lang sila at mukhang may pinaplano na naman. Si Atlas ang iniisip ko, masyado itong humahanga kay Trace at hindi ko maintindihan ang kagustuhan na sa Pilipinas muna manirahan.

I adjourned the meeting after there was nothing to talk about. I left the conference room, walked to the lanai, and stayed there for a while. I was looking nowhere as I remembered Libby and Millie... and how unfair I was to them for not introducing them to my family.  

Even though she was not my first love, Libby was still the first woman that made me aim again for a peaceful life. And the only one who made me whole again after the… the accident that day...  

After Hope died in the accident because of me.

Hope... 

“Ice…” 

I didn't turn around to face the one calling me. It was Atlas.

“Se você vai me dizer que gosta de se juntar a Foedus, então pare por aÍ, Atlas. I am not going to listen to your wants. You will kill yourself joining Foedus." Inunahan ko na si Atlas dahil alam ko na ang sasabihin niya. Pilipinas na naman.  

“Let Atlas go with me,” Trace interrupted, and I turned to face him. I am taller than Trace but how he looked at me is like telling me I should not contradict his plan. 

“Sim, o Trace está certo. Desculpe, Ice. Mas eu preciso ir com meus planos.” Atlas walked away after saying that. I was left with Trace grinning at me like he was telling me he had won our cousin’s favor. 

I know what Trace is doing. He wanna provoke me as he wanna convince me to join his Foedus. Kung bakit ito nangungulit ay wala rin akong ideya.

“You laid your cards, and I already declined. So stop pushing your luck now, Trace. FSO still matters to me.” I told him to clarify that nothing could change my mind. 

“The hell of deciding fast, Ice!" Trace chuckled. "Words of wisdom for you, Isidro. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses is important. Your strength will be your advantage. Your weakness is your priority. Put that in your mind, for I can foresee that you will lose all of your strength because of your weakness. Better listen... You.Need.Alliance!” 

Trace left me after he stated that. A lopsided grin formed on my lips as I didn’t give a damn about the weakness and strength drama of Trace. 

The only thing I know and need to follow is my favorite word. Focus. 

Yeah… Focus is the game. That is the only thing I believe in aside from... hope. 

Yeah. Hope. 

And Hope… I miss you…