I'm drowning
I realise
I see my breath drifting like bubbles
Gasping
As I'm being dragged deeper
My limbs no longer obey me
I'm tired
I pray for it to end
And as I close my eyes
I'm aware of the fact that help will never come
I smile
Because I'll be free at last
As I drift and surrender
No longer struggling
I realise
The sweet relief
Death brings
Please read both ways, from the top and from the bottom. This short poem was inspired by a daydream I had in one of my depressive moods. I imagined ending it all and the relief I would feel, to no longer have to worry about people, my family or my burdens. But I have discovered that Death is not the answer and I have God to thank for that. He rescued me and I believe He can rescue you too.
SS1.I couldn't sleep again last night. That made today the third day in a row.
Jss2.Lola.As the five-hour drive came to an end and the gates of triple c high became clearer, a mix of anticipation and dread rushed over me.
SS3.Lola.I woke up with a start, my chest heaving and my breath coming out in pants as if I had just finished a sprint, my entire body was covered in a cold sweat and it kept trembling uncontrollably.
Jss3.Lola.The noisy chatter of the girls in my year surrounded me as I lay down on my bed in one of the communal bedrooms on the third floor of our hostel in Cameroon.
"Lola. Lola, wake up." A voice called out, it sounded distorted as if it was passing through water. When I heard the voice, I struggled to extricate myself from the scene I was witnessing like a free diver going up for air but it proved futile.'Fine girl. Come he-' No, stop it. I didn't want to see this. I tried to turn my head away, my chair making a little screech from the force of my motion.As I felt someone pinch my waist, I recoiled and shifted away. Before I could figure out where the sensation came from, my attention was drawn away by the scene playing out in front of me.My muscles tensed up in preparation for my final struggle. I had witnessed this scene so many times that I could predict what would come next even if I was blindfolded.'Shhhhh. Relax, I'll make sure yo-' I said NO!"Nmm." I shifted on my chair, my head rolling from side to side, my unease tangible."Wake up Lola." A leg stretched out to kick my chair. "Lola wake up now!" The voice commanded magisterially.I