Chapter 02

SYDNEY

I eventually figured out what he meant later. What he had slated for me was nothing remotely similar to what he had done when he decided to invade my personal space with all his sexy glory. He left my mind muddled and my already broken heart in many more pieces than which he found it. What he did for the remainder of the night made me wish I hadn't saved him.

But I deserved it, did I not?

He made me watch as he flirted with girls openly, giving them his dazzling smile that could charm the panties of any woman. There was this thing he did where he would run his tongue over his lips, then duck it back inside and hold the ball piercing between his teeth. It was almost the most seductive thing he could have done.

From there, he took the party upstairs. I gritted my teeth against the burning fire that engulfed my body, chugging cup after cup of beer and whatever else I could get my hands on. My smile was strained but I made sure it never left my lips. I would never let anyone around me know what I felt, how I was dying slowly and probably deserved every excruciating moment of it.

It was good that Heather and Zen disappeared from the party. I already knew what they were probably up to and I found some ease thinking about their happiness. Tane and my brother had joined a circle, busy playing a game of 'suck and blow'. Freaking teenagers and their weird-ass games. I couldn't criticize much, I was none the better back then.

If revenge was Quade's endgame, I was letting him win. I was too tired to put up a fight. It honestly felt as if I had no more fight left in me. I tried fighting for what I wanted and that failed, I would have fought against this but I couldn't deal with another failure. It felt as if I kept giving and everyone around kept taking, leaving me with nothing in return. Why couldn't someone fight for me for a change?

I eventually grew tired of the party. When the flames died down, I made my way upstairs to my room. I dreaded the place more than any other room in this house. Part of me wanted to move out. I could always stay with my grandparents. Their house was massive and I still had a room there. But something kept me back here, I wasn't sure what it was but I could feel it anchoring me to the place.

"I don't know, maybe it's the mate bond," my sardonic wolf decided to choose this precise moment to speak up.

"You've been ignoring me these few days," I told her, entering my room.

My curiosity was getting the better of me. Quade's mark was stunning and stood out from all his tattoos. I wanted to see what my mark turned out like after healing. The vanity mirror was the closest to me so that was where I went. Taking a seat at the edge of the stool, I examined my neck on the right-hand side. There, where my shoulder met my neck, sat an equally stunning, howling wolf. The only difference was that my wolf looked to be wearing a crown.

"There are only a few more days and then your heat will set in. What are you going to do then?" Rieka mused, elation and pride filling me as she gawked at the mark through my eyes.

"I'll figure it out. I'll lock myself in this room and get Tane to focus on everything for that week if I have to," I muttered to her but it looked as if I were talking to myself through the mirror. If this kept going on then I could probably write a 'How To Make Yourself Insane Book For Dummies'.

"I hate to sound pessimistic but I don't think that's going to work," she almost sounded elated by the idea, already fantasizing about what it would be like to complete the mate bond with him. The images she put in my head only made matters worse; explicit images that bothered me in so many ways.

"Stop it," I growled lowly in irritation, "I can't be pining over someone who doesn't want me."

"I think he wants you, he wants you bad. You just need to make him realize it," I could see her wolfish grin in my mind.

Were all wolves this annoying or was my wolf the only pain in the ass?

"Well, I don't want him," I gritted.

"Sure you don't."

"I'm done having this conversation," I stood from the vanity and began peeling my clothes off, dumping them into the hamper with unnecessary force. I knew I shouldn't be taking my anger out on my clothes but I couldn't help it.

How long would his revenge on me last?

I wasn't certain I could deal with this my entire life but I had to be strong. If that was what it took, then I would have to do it. He deserved to live his life and I deserved to live mine — even if right now I didn't want to live much of it.

After tossing on a baggy shirt, I crawled under my covers, switched the lights off, and prayed for a good night's sleep for once. Of course, that was too much to ask for, as usual. My subconscious had the bad habit of replaying that very moment every night. It was utter torment, the way everything happened. The way I froze and couldn't move because of something that happened so many years ago. The way I couldn't remember Quade stepping in front of me. The way Victor finally told me he loved me but in the same breath, released me of the bond. I remembered the pain I felt after taking Quade's pain. Why did everything werewolf-related have to feel as if someone pushed you into a lava pit, only, the lava wasn't burning you from the outside in, but from the inside out as well? There was no winning.

When I finally awoke — that too, with a start just as most nights — my first instinct was to look at the chair by my window. My hopes always crashed and burned when I found it empty; tonight was no different. I missed seeing Victor's tanned, muscular body seated there, blue eyes trained on the moon that was always clearly visible from my bedroom window.

I fell back in bed and let out a groan. The light in the hall was still on, slivers of warm yellow slipping into my room from under my door. My heart stilled when I caught a shadow walk past and then back again. I watched the figure through that tiny gap beneath and realized that, whoever it was, was pacing back and forth frantically.

Pulling my sheets back, I tiptoed to the door before yanking it open and catching the person off guard. Quade's head instantly shot to me as he stood there stunned in all his shirtless glory.

Do not ogle the man. Do not gawk at him. Do not let your eyes go further than his freaking nose!

"A little peek wouldn't hurt," Rieka coaxed to which I inwardly cursed.

"What are you doing here?" I cut straight to the point, keeping my chin raised and my eyes on his stunning green ones at all times.

His eyes lazily swept down my figure, lingering a little too long on my exposed thighs. I must have looked like a train wreck, one that should have been written off a long time ago but somehow the engineers kept trying to fix me up and put me to use. That must have been the reason why he simply snorted, crossing his arms over his broad chest and flexing his delicious biceps.

Eyes back to the top!

"I'm not sure, love," he sounded conflicted, eyes narrowing into slits, "just felt the sudden compulsion to see if you're all good."

"I'm fine," I snapped.

"I can see that," those beautifully shaped lips of his curled into a wicked smirk as he began playing with the ring on his bottom lip, "Did you enjoy your night?" There was evil, and then there was Quade Holt. A man who knew exactly what he was doing and found pleasure in it, pleasure that gave birth to domineering tendencies.

I simply shrugged, trying not to seem fazed by his words, "Can't complain, guess I'm getting a bit old for wild parties," that wasn't a complete lie.

His face contorted into a grimace, frown lines etching themselves onto his forehead. By his reaction, I could tell my answer hadn't pleased him. His jaw muscles ticked double time and the light in the hall reflected off his face piercings with blinding vengeance. My only thought was, what possessed him to have so many tattoos and piercings?

"I won't stop till you feel the true meaning of pain," he seethed, tone dropping by a few octaves becoming deep and husky.

Squaring my shoulders, I matched his seething tone as best as I could, "Bring it on, I can take anything you possibly have to offer."

"If we die, it's all your fault," Rieka dramatically growled, "because you have a mouth that runs like a river."

I held in my eye roll and watched Quade take a step forward, then another, and another until I decided to step back to create some room between us. He was relentless, stalking after me as if I were his prey. Once he entered the room, he grabbed the door and slammed it shut, the banging sound bouncing off the walls.

His eyes flashed an eerie silver, and a low growl rumbled in his chest. My mouth opened to ask him what the hell he was doing but before the words could even form, he grabbed me by my waist and threw me onto the bed, a yelp leaving my lips instead. My body bounced on the soft mattress three times before settling.

Brushing my hair away from my face with a huff, I gritted, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

He never answered me but he did grab my wrists in his hands and straddled my thin torso. I tried wriggling out of his hold but he only tightened it, a dark look gracing his villainous face, "Keep struggling, love, I like that."

"You're sick!" I sneered.

He cackled, bringing his face so close to mine that he practically stole all my air. I couldn't breathe even if I wanted to, he simply wouldn't let me, "At least I know that. I wonder if daddy knows how sick his little girl is."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You want me to hurt you, I can see it in those pretty big eyes of yours."

He was onto something. The pain he inflicted was absolute torture but it both made me forget about everything else and formed a punishment for my deeds. Maybe that was the reason I didn't want anyone to stop him. Deep down, I wanted the pain. He was right, I was sick. Completely fucking unhinged. At least, I was beginning to sound as if I were.

I wasn't going to admit that to him though, "Let go of me."

He did, glaring down at me with unspeakable fury lighting up his hooded eyes, "You're going to take all the fun out of it if you begin enjoying it."

"This is your revenge right, making me feel exactly what you felt?" I glared at him, chest rising and falling rapidly. I was both strangely turned on and highly annoyed.

His grin boarded insanity, "No love, I want you to feel much worse," his hand gripped my throat, tightly, and I gasped at the sudden pressure. He yanked me up, allowing his soft lips to brush against mine as he tangled his free hand into my locks and pulled hard, "you don't think I know every feeling is heightened because of our marks. It must kill you every time I fuck a cunt that isn't yours."

"Fuck you."

His head dipped into the crook of my neck, teeth softly scrapping over his claim on me, "In time, patience," he murmured, warm breath teasingly dancing across my skin.

A treacherous moan spilled out of me and my body ached for more of his touch. I couldn't help but wonder how he had such control. The mate bond had every bit of my body trembling with lustrous desire. We could both smell my arousal filling the room like a sweet perfume beckoning him to continue. The blissful sparks that traveled through both our bodies ignited something in me, something that wasn't just lust. At this moment, if he was taking me to Hell, I would have gladly followed, intoxicated by everything that was him.

"You let him touch you," he cooed in my neck, "you let him fuck you even though you knew that you belonged to me."

"I don't belong to anyone, "I snarled in defiance to which he tightened his hold on my hair. It was as if the pain shot straight to my throbbing center.

He laughed again, placing a gentle kiss on my mark — that was the gentlest thing he did all night, "Sure, that thinking doesn't help you sleep at night so why do you keep telling yourself that?" He pulled away, eyes hardening when they finally met mine again, "I'll kill you myself before I let you fuck someone other than me again. As long as you wear my mark, you belong to me and I'll do with you as I see fit."

"And you're allowed to sink your dick into any woman willing to spread their legs?"

"Watch it, that mouth of yours will land you in trouble," he sang out, "if you don't like the rules, princess, you shouldn't have begun playing the game. You made your move, it's my turn now."