"Someone's at the door," I yawn. "God, it's so early."
"I heard it. They'll wait a minute or two," Viktor stretches his body, then lazily slips out of the bed.
"Are we expecting someone?" I ask, a little worried. The last time I heard the doorbell ring so early in the morning was when Larry came to Tom's to put quite the show for the neighbors.
"No, I don't think so," he says while sneaking inside my favourite part of his wardrobe- a pair of black loose training pants, carelessly hanging on his waist. It makes him look even sexier.
"Are you going to answer dressed like that?" I cross my arms and protest.
"What's wrong with it?" he chuckles. "I thought you like this look of mine."
"You're shirtless," I point out, "and not that I mind it when you're walking around only in that, but what if a woman is at the door?"
"Is that jealousy I'm sniffing, Miss Cox?" he jumps on top of me for a kiss.
"Just put a shirt on," I order.
"Demanding, aren't we? I promise you, it's not a woman at the door," he places a kiss on my lips, then hurries to open the door after whoever psychopath is visiting so early in the morning starts violently slamming the doorbell.
In the meantime, I sneak out of the bed as well. I feel still way too sleepy, but I'm up so I might make us coffee and some kind of breakfast.
I put on one of Viktor's T-shirts and of course, it's the black one he wore the first time I saw him. I love the way his clothes smell. They always carry the intoxicating scent of his musk aftershave.
"Viktor, who is it?" I shout as I walk lazily to the kitchen, rubbing my eyes.
"I'll come in a minute." I hear him shout back. I didn't ask that.
"What to eat, what to eat," I think to myself with head popping inside the fridge.
"What are you doing?" Viktor startles me and I jump back.
"I was looking for something to prepare for breakfast. Wait, what are you hiding behind your back?"
I notice the little nervous look in Viktor's eyes and the ridiculously sheepish grin on his face.
"Come on, what's it?" I ask again, curiosity kicking in.
"You said you liked that Yorkie and you said you'll feel alone while I'm gone, so..." Viktor finishes his sentence with no words. Instead, he pulls his hand from behind his back and presents me the cutest puppy I've ever seen.
"Oh my God! Is that..." I run to him and embrace the little fella out of Viktor's hands.
"Mhm," he smiles at me. "A Yorkie. Meet Brittany."
"Brittany?" I look doubtfully at Viktor.
"No, I'm just kidding. Name it however you like," he chuckles.
"Oh my, thank you so much, Viktor!" I squeak again, then stand on my tiptoes to gift him a kiss. I can't erase the smile off my face, I think I will just explode out of happiness right now.
"How are you going to name it?" Viktor boops the small wet nose of my new friend.
"Ginger," I look at Viktor, waiting for his reaction as I remember him comparing me to ginger biscuits.
"That's... quite an unusual name for a dog," he scratches the back of his head.
"It's just perfect for her. Thank you, Viktor. Really." I keep smiling like a complete idiot.
"Well, I didn't plan it exactly like that," Viktor admits and purses his lips.
"Oh?"
"Well, I planned to let her run on the bed and wake you up by licking your face. That's why a friend of mine brought her this early, but you just had to wake up, didn't you?" Viktor looks away and I think I see him blushing.
"You're one huge softie, you know that?" I tease him.
"Don't tell anyone or you'll ruin my image," he chuckles. "Come on, little one. Let's prepare breakfast before I eat you," he pulls me closer for a kiss.
I think I'm melting.
***
"So? When are we going? We're still going karting, right?"
"Why wouldn't we?" Viktor asks and pushes the cart further.
"I don't know," I scratch my forehead, "you brought me Ginger, so I thought you might have reconsidered our karting date," I shrug, then pull the box of raspberry cheesecake out of the freezer. "Can we get this?" I shake it in Viktor's face.
"Yes cutie, we can," Viktor chuckles, his thunder laugh mutes the robotic voice of the lady that announces something on discount. "As for that, if you allow me, I want to gift you the world."
"This is the most romantic thing someone has ever told me in a supermarket," I throw the cheesecake in the cart and flutter my eyelashes at Viktor.
"You mean someone has told you something more romantic outside a supermarket?" he tilts his head but a playful smile dances on his lips nevertheless.
"Mmm, maybe," I wiggle my eyebrows.
"Again, what were you preparing for lunch?"
"Veal steak for you, vegetables for me. It's my grandma's receipt so prepare yourself to try the best veal steak in your entire life" I say and keep bouncing joyfully around the shelves, looking for nothing specific but rather something that catches my eye.
"How come you're a vegetarian? You must be your grandma's biggest disappointment, if she prepares that good veal steak and you eat only the vegetables," Viktor jokes.
"I don't like violence. I find it cruel that animal dies for me to eat it," I shrug. "As for my grandma, she was indeed disappointed in my choice," I agree and laugh.
"Well, I'm not a fan of violence either but I need meat to keep this body in shape. What would you admire if I eat carrots and peas only?"
"Hmm, that's a fair point," I throw him a flirtatious wink.
Yes, I went grocery shopping with Viktor. And yes, the supermarket is in Long Beach and of course, I'm in disguise. Big sunglasses cover half of my face and I hope no one recognises me.
"Is that all?" Viktor asks.
"I think so. We got meat, vegetables, a lot of sweets and dog food," I do a fast check of the full to the edge cart.
"Okay, let's go, I'm hungry," Viktor offers then a playful ass-slap startles me as I'm bending down to check the bag of marshmallows I noticed.
"Viktor!" I scold him.
"The temptation was stronger than me," he shrugs and a smirk forms on his smug face. "Come on, let's go."
***
"When it'll be done?" Viktor impatiently paces around the kitchen.
"Patience, Mr Russo," I giggle.
"Patience, shmatience!" he keeps protesting. "I'm hungry!"
"It needs another half an hour in the oven, at least," I shrug while washing the dishes from this morning's breakfast.
"You know there's a dishwasher, right?"
"For two dishes?" I throw him a doubtful look over my shoulder.
"So? Another half an hour, hm?" Viktor counters me next to the sink. "I wonder how you can distract me from the hunger," he swipes my hair aside and whispers in my ear, his warm lips lightly tickling the skin of my ear, his body pressing on my back.
"Naughty, aren't we?" I spin around to face him.
"Can you blame me? You washed those two dishes in the sexiest way possible," he pushes his fingers under the waistline of my shorts.
"And what so sexy did you find in washing dishes?" I return a question and slide my still wet hands under his T-shirt and I feel him slightly shivering.
"The way you were sliding the sponge, soaping them. Then rinsing them," he keeps talking in a low voice while unbuttoning my shorts.
"This is the weirdest thing I've ever heard," I chuckle, "but I'll let it slip this time."
"I have something else that you'll let slip," he growls, then lifts me to sit on the kitchen island.
The half an hour until the food is ready we fill in indeed. We discovered that the kitchen island is pretty comfortable and allows many positions to be taken. Not to mention it's on the perfect height for easily reaching that tickling sweet spot inside me. And this was indeed the better way to distract ourselves.
"So? Do you like it?" I nervously ask, watching Viktor trying the steak. Knowing in what kind of high-level restaurants he eats, I'm a little afraid he won't like my cooking. And I really believe in my grandma's receipt.
"It's just... mmm," he moans. "It's melting inside my mouth."
I sigh relieved that I did not disappoint my grandma, then I try the butter stewed vegetables in my dish. They melt inside my mouth too.
"Hey! That's my carrot!" I scold Viktor as he steals a carrot from my dish.
"Do you want it?" he chuckles, then pulls it between his lips.
I accept the silly invitation for a kiss and take the bite of vegetable out of his mouth. A mix of salty butter and Viktor's lips spill over my tongue and I can't stop the smile that curves on my face.
"How come I haven't met you earlier?" he purrs.
"I don't know. You had no luck, I guess," I tease him and shrug, but truth be told, nothing would've happened if we met earlier. I was skeptical if not pessimistic about this thing between us, although I'm a legal adult now.
"Little one, about the time I'll be gone..." he sighs and suddenly becomes serious.
"What's it?" I cross my arms, I feel something is off.
"There's a security system installed, I believe you've noticed the little panel hanging on the wall next to the door."
"I have," I nod.
"I want you to turn it on whenever you leave and then again keep it on whenever you are home. It's activated and deactivated with a four-digit code and I'll change it tomorrow, just in case."
"Um, okay? But if I turn it on, won't it activate whenever I move?" I furrow my brows.
"No. It activates whenever a door or a window is opened or broken. I want to be sure you're safe," he takes my hand in his.
"Okay," I nod again. "How are you traveling to Delaware?"
"Airplane," he shrugs. "I'm leaving Monday morning, probably before you even wake up."
"And that big shiny Mercedes in the garage will be only for me for three days?" I tease him, knowing how much he loves his car.
"Yes," he giggles, "but be careful," he warns me again.
"I know, I know. It's expensive and you love it," I roll my eyes.
"Yes, I do, but metal can be fixed. Be careful not to put yourself in danger," he throws me a pleading look.
"I will, I promise," I nod again.
Guess who will be showing off with that Mercedes.
***
"Hey, little one. Wake up."
"Huh? Five more minutes," I roll to the other side of the bed.
"Come on, it's 10 AM. We're going karting, remember?" Viktor wiggles next to me.
"Can't we just spend the day here?" I keep murmuring half-asleep.
"Come on, I promised you," he chuckles. "Coffee awaits you in the kitchen."
"Okay, okay," I complain and stretch my body. "Heeey, little fella." I see Ginger on the side of the bed, trying to jump on top with her tiny legs. "Come here," I talk to her and lift her on the bed.
"She's cute, isn't she?" Viktor asks and scratches her behind her ears to which she responds by waving her tail.
"Lick his face, come on," I shove the pup in Viktor's face and he gets indeed licked.
"Oh, God," he laughs. "Come on, now. Let's get ready for our date."
***
"I bet my ass I'll beat you!" I challenge Viktor as we step outside to the speedway to get our karts.
"Don't offer things you're not ready to give," he growls, then grabs me by my waist and pulls me closer to him for a kiss.
"You know... this red racing suit looks good on you," I spread my hand across his torso.
"You don't look bad yourself," he smirks. "So, what were you saying about your ass?"
"I was saying that I'll beat you in this race," I remind him.
"Do you want to place a bet?" his eyes flicker with a hunger for something as they travel down my body.
"What will I win if I beat you?" I cock an eyebrow.
"What do you want?" he puts the helmet on.
"I want to talk to Tom," I fastly murmur and look at him, expecting him to flip any moment now.
"Okay," he sighs, "you won't win anyway, so it's a safe bet for me."
"And what do you want if you win?" I tilt my head.
"You know it already, you offered it yourself," he growls and helps me with my helmet.
"May the better one wins," I wink at him.
"Remember, 25 laps. The first one to cross the finish wins."
"Yeah, yeah," I roll my eyes, then make myself comfortable inside the kart.
A man appears in front of us, counting backwards, then shouts "go!".
I hit the gas pedal and fly in front of Viktor. My veins fill with adrenaline, my heart starts hammering inside my chest and I can't stop laughing. This seriously seems to be the best day of my life. I feel so free right now.
I look back for a second, only to see Viktor speeding up behind me, then look forward and see the first left turn coming. I don't take it the best way possible and next thing Viktor is driving in front of me.
The feeling is incredible. The time passes in seconds. The childish happiness I feel right now is impossible to be explained, to be put in words. I feel like I have never did before. As if I'm on top of the world, free and laughing. This is seriously the best day of my life.
Before I know, we're on the last lap and Viktor is still leading. Determined to win and moreover, determined not to risk my backdoor, I speed up as much as I can and surprisingly even to me, I take the last turn flawlessly, like a gracious cat.
"I won!" I shout as I slow down. "I fucking won!"
I jump outside the kart and start dancing triumphantly in front of Viktor, who is surprisingly happy, despite the fact I beat him.
"I won!" I shout as he walks next to me.
"You won, yes," he chuckles and takes my helmet off. "Well done."
He places a kiss on my lips that soon grows longer and playful, lead by the still rushing adrenaline.
"I won! I won!" I keep bouncing on our way back inside to return the suits.
"Yes, yes you did," Viktor laughs.
"Wait a minute! You didn't let me win, did you?" I narrow my eyes suspicious at him.
"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. Maybe you handled the kart better than me," he says and leaves me puzzling.
"But! This isn't fair!" I protest.
"You won, why isn't it fair?" he tilts his head questionably.
"I wanted to beat you, but fairly! You left me to do it! Why would you do that?!" I keep grumping.
"Because I knew you'll be happy to win," he shrugs, "and I never admitted that I left you to win. You just were the better pilot today. But you can always give me the promised reward for if I win if it's such a problem," he smirks and licks his lower lip.
"No, no. I'm good as it is," I deny. "Thank you, Viktor. For this day. It was seriously perfect," I lean closer to him for a kiss, as we're about to leave the parking lot.
I'm starting to think I won't survive these upcoming three days without him.
"1732, have fun and don't miss me too much."I read the little note that's left on the nightstand next to my phone along with a credit card and the car keys. I rub my eyes and pout, I feel sadder than I should by the fact I'll be alone for three days. At least I'm back to work, so half of my days will be busy.My morning starts with a cup of aromatic coffee and aimlessly scrolling through all the TV channels- 280 and still nothing there to watch. I do the laundry and prepare myself breakfast, then get Ginger out in the garden to play.Time really do passes boringly slow when you have nothing to do.And not that I am completely unhappy by the fact time seems to has slowed down, if not stopped. As another hour pushes me further into going to work, I start to feel uneasy. What if I see Tomas? Or Larry?Larry, I will see indeed, it's unavoidably and Viktor said he'll make
"What do you mean he quit?""I mean exactly what I'm saying," Jake shrugs."Why would he do that?!" I protest."He didn't give me a reason, he just left.""This is ridiculous!" I cut confused.It's Thursday now and Viktor hasn't come back yet. On top of all our other barman, Jake, informs me that the girl I saw behind the bar earlier is Tom's replacement, because I quote 'he just quit'. Disappeared into thin air. Poof, begone. Overnight. Without telling a thing to anyone. Even Larry doesn't know. All he knows is that something made Tomas leave. Not only his job but the city as well.Calling him is useless. His phone is switched off. It's like he was abducted by aliens. How does one disappear with no trace? He never even hinted of doing so. He has packed all of his clothes. And besides his clothes and car, everything else is where he exactly left it. Lar
*This chapter is from Viktor's POV*I had to have her. She looked so innocent, so pure. Unstained by this awful world we are living in. She was shy and although she smiled and tried to cover her embarrassment with confidence, her cherry-red cheeks she couldn't hide.I had to have her.Whether it be to get closer to that innocence only to ease my demons, or for the fact the uncomfortable dress of a uniform she wore turned me on, I just had to have her.I understood she's younger than me. Maybe more than she should and more than she would eventually accept. So it was a real surprise to me when she went on a date with me, or when she gifted her pure body to me. I also understood that I have competition. Tomas Scott.Once again I had to face a Scott member.The boy got all the good features from both his parents. The tall and naturally good shap
"Mallory Cox?" "Uh, yes. Who is it?" "This is Lieutenant Stewards. We believe we have information about your mother, but you need to come with me to the coroner. I'm sorry." "The coroner?! Why?! What happened?! Is she..." I can't finish that sentence. "We need you to recognise the body. Please come to the police station and ask for Lieutenant Stewards." I start shaking, crying, gasping for air. I am on the verge of collapse. After over another month I finally hear something about my mother and it will be most probably bad news. It is impossible to put in words the fear I feel right now. For the past month, I managed to somehow not think the worst, holding onto the hope she is alright. Turns out it was only empty hopes. "Mallory? Mallory, what's going on?! Speak!" I hear Margaret's muted voice. As if she's somewhere far
"Did you really mean it?""What?""Did you really mean it? What you said... you know, about your feelings.""I... I don't know," I sigh ashamed. "I don't know if it's love I'm feeling. I have said it before, I had boyfriends, you know. But it never felt like this. Looking back at the times I have said these words, it feels like a childish crush, not like actual love. I don't know if this is love now, but what I feel is more... mature. I feel you close, on a physical and emotional level. You are nothing but great with me, it was unavoidable not to fall for you. And I don't expect you to feel the same way, just... I just hope I didn't scare you," I sigh after I blurt out everything. "Forget everything if you have to."I don't look at him, I maybe don't want to. I find the clear blue sky more pacifying. I'm worried about what I might see if I look at Viktor's face. I'm scared. What if he changed his min
"What? It's you?!" I squeak and burst into laughter staring at the dusty album Viktor pulled out god knows from where. "Yeah, mock me. But you can't deny I was cute," he chuckles. "Cute is one word for it," I snort. Viktor was really a cute kid. Who could've predicted he'll become the God of lust. His iconic raven-black curls were even curlier when he was young. So curly yet long enough to cover his eyes. He said he hated getting a haircut, so he was just one messy-haired, pink-cheeked and quite short boy. And there's barely a photo on which he's not eating. " 'It was better if your mouth is busy with something'," he quotes his mother, explaining his food obsession to me, " 'otherwise you were not stopping talking'," he finishes the quote and laughs. "Wow, your mother was a true beauty," I react in awe as I see a photo of what seems to
Everyone knows. Every fucking person in my school now knows about my relationship with Viktor. Under different circumstances maybe it would have been okay. Maybe if I wasn't seen by Cassandra in that hidden sex room it would have been different. Maybe if he wasn't this rich it would have been different. But it's not. It is what it is. My biggest fear became a reality. I was labelled as a 'sugar baby'. I couldn't disagree any more with that label. I don't seek his money, I never wanted it.Of course, the lux he has built is appealing. I'm a sinner for getting comfortable with that. Maybe people are right to call me that. But I never wanted it. I would have been with him even if he wasn't living in that big house. Or if he wasn't driving that expensive car. Of course, it's a huge flex but is something that I can't change. Everyone wants a big house and an expensive car, just not everyone can afford it. But I never wanted a thing from him.
Viktor didn't come home all night. Not until the small early morning hours. I don't know where he was. I don't know who he was with or what he did while he was out. I don't even know exactly when he came back home. I was in a state of mid-sleep and got startled by barking Ginger. I waited for a few minutes, but Viktor didn't come to the bedroom, so I went on a short mission to find him.I see the kitchen's lights are on, so I suppose he is there and indeed, he is there. Sitting in a chair with his back towards the door and swirling a whiskey tumbler on the table."Viktor..?" I cross my arms and step cautiously to him. "Viktor, are you alright?" I ask but get no answer. "Viktor, please. Talk to me," I beg and walk to the chair next to him."Do you really love me?" he suddenly speaks, not breaking the staring at the glass in his hand.His question catches me off-guard. The way he asks it, with hands gr
This is the worst graduation ceremony you could ever see. Not because of the ceremony itself but because of me. I feel dead. Viktor is in jail. It's the reality, it wasn't a nightmare. I really hoped for it to be a bad dream. I hoped that I fell asleep while watching horrors and my brain played such unbelievable scenarios, but no. It's real. It's late May now and the weather is warm. Why do I feel so cold then? I barely slept and cried a lot last night, maybe that's the reason. Our school hosts a big and fancy graduation ceremony. There are togas, awards and diplomas. Lucy's boyfriend, Gideon is awarded 'best football player', the ultimate teacher's pet is awarded 'smartest student', Lucy is graduated 'most artistic student' and the list of awards goes on and on. And no, I'm not awarded shit. And I couldn't care less. I keep my nose stuck in my phone. Viktor's arrest and the exposure of
"What do you mean you have to leave?!""It means that I have to leave," Viktor nonchalantly shrugs as he pushes another shirt in his travel bag. "Hopefully, for a few days. A week the most.""But... You can't! You will miss my graduation ceremony!" I complain."I'm sorry, little one. I can't miss this deal," he says without even looking at me. He just keeps stuffing his travel bag with clothes. "I didn't want to tell you earlier. I got the call the other day, when was your Prom night. I didn't want to ruin your mood.""But that was two days ago! Why are you telling me the last moment?!" I throw myself sitting on the edge of the bed and cross my arms angry and confused. "Why didn't you tell me yesterday?!""I told you, I didn't want to ruin your mood," he says as he pulls the zipper of the bag."And you thought telling me an hour before your departure is the r
"This one really does looks good on you!""I like the first one better.""No one is asking you.""Can you two just shut up?" I scoff. "You are bickering like kids."So, as you probably guessed I'm together with Lucy and Viktor and we are picking a gown for the Prom night. It would have been funny if it wasn't annoying. The theme this year is "Spring magic" and I narrowed the options to three and truth be told, I am with Viktor in this.The first dress I tried and he liked is in gentle mint green. It has a deep V neck and open back, really high slash and is high split with the upper part being covered in rhinestones. It's truly beautiful and really sexy. I love how it suits me.The one Lucy liked is a princess type of big, in gentle pink, with open back and again is covered with rhinestones. I like it too, but I feel a little like a cake.
Have you ever wanted to have the ability to stop time? As the inevitability comes closer to becoming the bitter reality, have you ever wanted to be able to stop time? Yes? That's exactly how I feel.It's late March already. Spring is settling in, life seems to have awakened from the winter sleep. It's warmer, calmer, prettier. Nature's beauty is revived. Why don't I feel any calmer then?Viktor came to peace with the fact I'm not willing to give up on Berkeley. Or at least he pretends to have accepted it. He has, maybe, but I am not. I gave up on the hope of him following me to there. First, he promised to try everything possible to be with me but then he just defeatedly admitted that he will miss me.At first, his confession made me feel somehow loved by him. It melted me like butter. I liked his confession at first, but now... Now realisation has finally struck me. He has given up. He will not follow me to Berkel
"So? How did it go?""Uh?""The tour around the university. How did it go?""Oh... it was good. Yeah, it was good."After I drive for another six hours back to Long Beach, I come home to find Viktor carelessly lying on the couch in the living room and watching something on the TV. The moment I step a foot through the door I feel some sort of tension. Actually, I feel it since the other day on our way back from the vacation.We haven't talked about my choice of a university since then but there seem to be unspoken things that fuel this awkward tension between us."Did you do what you had to do?" I ask as I sit on one of the small stools in front of him, just wanting to start some sort of a dialogue. Have you ever felt so awkward around someone that you just feel the need to say something? That's how awkward I feel for a few days now."Hm?"
It's such a pity we have to leave already. I fell in love with this small neat town, its friendly people and beautiful landscape. Originally, we were supposed to stay for four nights but the weather was in my personal favour. It was heavily snowing during the last night of our stay, so instead of leaving on Wednesday morning, we leave on Thursday. I can't say I'm disappointed, a whole day being in complete privacy at a mountain cabin with Viktor only, is far from being a reason to complain. At first, Viktor was a little moody for having to stay closed in one place for over 24 hours but I know how to fastly turn that frown upside down. If you catch my drift. Anyways, this was just the perfect vacation and I will gladly accept people calling me names for being with Viktor if that means I will visit more such incredible places. "Do you want me to drive?" I offer my d
"Come on! One more! Right here!" "Ugh, fiiine." Our first day here flew away in doing nothing. We ate, warmed each other in bed and rested. Six hours are tiring, no matter if you are on the driver's or the passenger's side. For our second day here we decided to make the best out of it. We decided to go on a walk through the town and I want to take photos of the whole place. I pose next to big live and beautifully decorated Christmas trees, I take a few selfies with Viktor with the downtown's decor as a background. I take a lot of photos. Memories might stay forever but I want to secure myself and have photos. "Tell me we are staying for at least a week!" I bounce joyfully in front of Viktor on our way to one of the few small restaurants in the town. "We can stay for as long as you want," he chuckles. "How about a month?" I giggle.
I have never been the angel everyone thinks I am. I have never pretended to be one, I don't know why people think so highly of me. Is it because of my looks? People say I have an innocent and handsome face.I took the silver eyes from my mother. And thanks god, because my father has the most basic brown eyes you can ever see.Those eyes have seen much. Maybe too much. They have shown me pain and happiness, they have shown me naked bodies and pretty faces. They have shown me love and disappointment. They have shown me much.And that ash-blonde hair, I got it from my mom again. Messy untameable locks that felt the entangling fingers of enough girls.I don't pretend to be a player. No. I was something much worse.I got much from my mother. But I wish I got her courage to leave. I wish I got it sooner.I was born and raised in what I thought was a happy fam
"Wake up, little one.""Huh?!""Come on, wake up," Viktor's long fingers gently brush my hairs."But why?" I complain still asleep then roll to the other side."We need to leave," I hear him chuckling then."Uh? Why?""I promised you snow for Christmas, didn't I? Come on, get up. It's a long drive.""But... it's 5:30 AM for god's sake," I cry out as I check my phone."Yes, exactly. And it's almost six hours drive. Come on," Viktor laughs and pulls me out of the bed. "Come on, get prepared. I packed you warm clothes already, all you need to do is simply get up and get ready."I groan and complain, I curse and cry at the fact I was awakened so early. I have never been the morning type but never had problems with waking up early when I have to either. Never had problems with it but when i