Chapter Four

I felt the pain all at once. Erin’s pain and my own. I could feel my head spinning and my heart throbbing painfully. Why is it that fate was always cruel to me? I tried to be strong. I tried so hard! So why do I always have to keep suffering?

Even in my original life as the author of this whole world, I felt the world against me and just when things were starting to look up for me, I died so suddenly. Now, even in this world, I reincarnated to still be in pain!

I stood up and pushed them all away. I grabbed the sword from one of the knights and pointed it at them. I finally broke down and cried out, “Why? Why should I just die so helplessly? Why can’t I live? What’s so wrong with wanting to live?”

“You’re a cursed child.” Eunice snickered, “As long as you live, we are bound to misfortune when the blood moon comes. You are destined to die, sister. Accept it.”

The blood from my mouth drips to the ground and I saw my red hair cut so horribly. Tears fell down my cheeks but I scoffed, “Well, I have some bad news for you, sister, because I will continue to live my life regardless of what consequences it brings. I will carry the burden of being alive because I want to live!”

I remember now. My character, Erin Lockheart, died on her 18^th birthday not by accident or anything else. It was suicide because she’s had enough. I wrote her character back when I... was giving up on life too. I clenched my fist and argued, “Is wanting to be alive so wrong?! Is living so damn wrong?”

No one really wants to die. Not really. Everyone just gets tired of living that way and they feel trapped with thinking that death was the only way out.

I remember now. Erin Lockheart was a character I wrote as a reflection of who I was. I wrote her character to share my burden. It got me out of that dark abyss and now, I... will make sure Erin lives too. I will save her too.

Eunice snickered, “You’ve gone mad. How dare you point your sword at me? That’s an act of treason. I am a princess and you are nothing but a lady.” As the moonlight shone upon her, she turned into a werewolf and started to attack me.

He golden brown fur shone ever so brightly and her green eyes looked so intimidating yet graceful. Everyone surrounded us urging us to fight. 

I swung my sword to protect myself but she was so much stronger and faster. I wielded the sword just enough to keep myself safe from their critical attacks but I had scratches and bruises all over. I fell to the ground after finally losing my remaining strength. I couldn’t move at all but just as I thought death had come way too early for me, I saw that familiar white fur and blue eyes.

The wolf fought defended against my sister and everyone backed off. Eventually, he turned back to his human form. It was Cadmus. Cadmus said, “Who told you all you could cause trouble at the night of my return?”

"Cadmus." I muttered softly as I was holding on the last ounce of my strength. I felt physically and emotionally weak. He looked back at me with the same gentleness I've always known and he opened his mouth to say something but he held himself back.

Eunice retreated and reasoned out, “It wasn’t my fault—“

"Oh, leave it, young Emperor." Some of the snickered, "We're werewolves, it's what we do. We fight with each other to release some steam."

"Yes, but lady Erin is not like us." They giggled, "She's weaker. Nothing but a plaything."

“I don’t care who’s at fault and not.” Cadmus glared, “I am your alpha and emperor, I order you all to leave.”

It was one of the alpha’s ability. To make everyone follow his orders helplessly and without complaint. Soon, everyone started to leave and Cadmus carried me back to his quarters. He didn’t say a word but I asked, “Why save me? I thought you hated me.”

"Erin." Cadmus softly muttered.

"That's the first time you called me by my name after a long time." I couldn't help but smile a little, "Do you hate me a little less since I'm badly hurt?"

“I never said I hated you.”

“You didn’t have to.” I muttered softly

“Just rest and I’ll have your wounds treated immediately.” Cadmus remarked as he gently placed me at his bed. He didn’t have any servants. It was just him and he treated my wounds himself. He patiently cleaned the blood off of my face and he even asked permission to cut my hair properly after the girls had ruined it.

“Why is that you’re being kind now but not earlier?”

“Do you prefer that I’m rude towards you?”

“So stingy.” I protested but Cadmus continued to cut my hair evenly and said, “The cut here is too short so you are going to have to live with bangs for a while.”

“It’s just hair, it will eventually grow.”

“For a woman, hair is their crown.” Cadmus said, “And that a princess must not have scars on her face.”

“I am not a princess, young Emperor. You know it too as much as everyone else does.” I continued, “I was demoted to being only a lady as soon as my sister was born. I guess they had no use for me anymore.”

Just as I glanced outside at the garden, I suddenly remembered why I was there at the first place. Luna! I grabbed Cadmus’ hands and said, “Come with me, there is someone you must meet.”

“What? You're still hurt and you need to rest first-”

“I’ll live and I'll explain it later! First, you have to trust me.” I was hesitant but I didn’t really have much of a choice. I checked the time and it was only 11:50, I still had time before this day ends! I grabbed his hands and headed to the garden.

I pratically dragged him outside, I could still feel my entire body ache from earlier but I don't have much time. I searched everywhere for Luna but she was nowhere to be found. Still, I continued to frantically search everywhere at the garden. 

Perhaps, she already left because of the commotion earlier? Ah this is bad, I was starting to feel unconcious. I must have overexerted myself. I can't just give up! This is the only way I get to live. Call it desperate or whatever, but I have to find Luna.

I continued to walk to the town and left Cadmus. I needed to find her first. Suddenly, I felt someone sweeping me off of my feet. It was Cadmus and he carried me on his arms, he said, "Must you always be this stubborn and make me worry? You're like a child."

"But you have to meet her." I said, "She's someone important."

"I get to decide who's important to me."

"But I want to live." Maybe it was the desperation in my eyes that made him flinch and waver a little or something else entirely but he replied, "You know, as the alpha, I get to read every thought every werewolf in our pack has but not yours."

"I get it. It's because I'm not one of you."

"What I mean is, I can't figure out what you're thinking about and it bothers me."

"Why?"

Cadmus shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know."

"Then just ask me." I smiled gently

"Then, did you miss me, Erin?" Cadmus asked so boldly that I flinched but I could see his ears all red. I could say that he mustered all the strength he could to ask that so I ended up laughing. He protested, "Hey, did you just laugh at me?"

"No." I fought the urge to laugh even more, "I didn't miss you, you're rude to me and at some times, you're nice to me. You're the one I can't read. Why do you detest me so much?"

"You're stubbornly annoying who do everything that pleases you without any regards for the consequences."

"Hey--" I started but he continued to list down reasons as to why he doesn't like me, "Also, you're stupid and clumsy who always get yourself in trouble."

"That's enough, I get it!"

Cadmus added, "I hate the way you talk to me or stare at me with such boldness, you always forget your place and you annoy me. I also hate it that you're such a crybaby and childish. Should I say more reasons?"

"You know, that's the most you've said to me in the years we've known each other." I rolled my eyes and I protested, "You could list more reasons of why you hate me than your speech!"

"Maybe."

But somehow, I was relieved that none of the reasons why he hated me was because of my curse. I guess, Cadmus is nice after all. I smiled a little. Maybe meeting Luna could wait until tomorrow. Perhaps, I could be a little selfish tonight.

Can I?