Chapter 0003

Lionel’s POV

There was a hesitant knock at my door. I looked up, my brow furrowing as I mentally went through my list of appointments for the day. I wasn't supposed to have any meetings or anything for the next few hours.

"D-daddy?" A little girl’s soft voice called through the door. I let out a breath that I didn't know I'd been holding.

"Come in, sweetie." I called, looking back to the paperwork on my desk before I moved to stand up. "Is something wrong?"

Vera didn't come to my office often, and when she did, it was usually because she wanted something from me. I looked at her, quickly taking in her appearance and then I frowned. Something was off.

There were dark bags under her eyes that stood out against her pale skin. I couldn't think of a reason why she wouldn't have slept the night before.

She looked a little thinner, had she not been eating? I should have noticed if she wasn't eating.

She looked nervous and shy, a stark difference from her usual calm confidence. Had something happened to her?

"Vera, are you okay?" I asked with concern. I rushed forward and placed my hand against her forehead.

She didn't feel warm. I looked between her eyes, dark brown and warm like mine.

"I'm good." She smiled slightly, her cheeks flushing with color. It wasn't her usual smile, but it was sweet.

I took in a deep breath, catching her scent. It was her and she seemed healthy enough. So why was she here acting so strangely?

"I just missed you and wanted to come say hi. And I wanted to tell you that I think you are the handsomest, charmingest, best daddy in the world." She said, looking down at her feet and swaying from side to side.

I blinked in surprise. "Thank you, darling. That's very kind of you."

This wasn't like her, but it was good. It was wonderful. It was too good and wonderful to be true.

I smirked. "What is it then? Do you want something or have you broken something expensive?"

"Well..." Vera looked down, uncharacteristically shy. I prepared myself for the worst.

Whatever it was, I'd forgive her. Whatever she wanted, I'd get it for her. She was my world, my everything.

"I want a new mommy."

"Oh." That was worse than anything I could’ve imagined.

I sucked in a breath. My heart ached with a longing and grief I had grown used to. "A new..."

"A new mommy." Vera repeated.

Vera had never gotten to know her mother. Katya was beautiful, kind and everything wonderful.

Her only flaw is being a perfectionist.While she was pregnant she joked to me about giving up the baby if it was anything less than perfect.

But of course, it was just a joke.

Katya was stolen from us only two months after Vera had been born. A drunk driver hit her, destroying the driver’s side of her car.

I should’ve driven her instead of staying and taking care of Vera. Vera could’ve slept in the car.

My brother, Joseph, wouldn't let me get too close to the accident. He said he wanted me to remember her as she was.

So I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye to her. Vera never got the chance to know her.

"A new mommy." I muttered. There was a lump in my throat.

"Vera, do you remember anything about your mommy?" I asked quietly. I couldn’t meet her gaze.

Vera looked up at me with wide eyes. "I remember she was really pretty." She said quietly. "And soft."

I smiled, chuckling sadly. "That's a good description."

I took in a deep breath. "Well, what kind of mommy would you want?"

"Oh!" Vera looked excited. "Well, she has to be soft and pretty like my first mommy."

I felt a twinge of pain at her words. She spoke as if anyone could replace her mother. She was young and naive, but I knew better.

"Of course." I responded, looking at her fondly.

"She should be a good cook, so she can make me snacks. She should be really nice and patient, even when I mess up. Everybody messes up sometimes, daddy."

She stared at me with an intensity, different from her usual demeanor. I nodded. "Yes, sweetie, everyone does mess up sometimes."

"I think she should be funny, because I like to laugh. And she should be good at playing games. She should have a pretty voice, even though she says it's not pretty."

"Humility is a good trait." I nodded, thoughtfully.

"She should be really brave and- And she should be shorter than you." Vera furrowed her brow.

I snorted out a laugh. "Is that important?"

"It is." She responded as if it were a stupid question.

"Okay. Shorter than me." I nodded.

"She shouldn't be stick skinny. She should be able to give good comfy hugs." Vera said seriously.

"Alright." I said, shaking my head slightly. I always preferred a healthy woman anyways.

"She should have eyes that are a cool color! Like those greyish brown ones that look like they have rainbows in them."

A pair of beautiful eyes appeared in my thoughts. Gorgeous eyes that belonged to a strong woman. Gorgeous eyes that I'd seen obscured by tears.

Something strange stirred within my chest.

"She should have pretty brown hair that's soft and smells like flowers." Vera said. "I think that's it."

"That's all, then?" I asked.

"Pretty please." She nodded.

Part of me wondered if it would be better to tell her the truth now. To explain that her mom was the love of my life. That even after five years, I still couldn't imagine anyone else taking her place.

But I couldn't say no to her. I didn't know how I was supposed to say no when she looked up at me with those sweet, hopeful eyes.

"Alright, sweetie. I'll think about it." I sighed.

"Thank you!" She grinned, reaching out for a hug.

I swept her into my arms, spinning around once. I couldn't help but think about the similarities of her description and Nan.

Nan was beautiful and soft with gorgeous grey eyes and brown hair.

"Have you met Nan, Vera?"

Vera looked as if she'd been caught. She nodded.

"Do you like her?" I asked.

Vera nodded again.

Alright then. One more question.

"Do you want Nan to be your mommy?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "I think she'd be a good mommy."

"She does seem to be." She was very protective of her adopted daughter. I admired her.

I couldn't marry her. I couldn't do that. But there was something else I could do.

"Please daddy?" Vera asked, batting her eyes at me.

How could I say no to that?

"I'll think about it, okay darling?"

"Thank you daddy!" She kissed my cheek before wiggling out of my arms. She rushed out of the room.

I watched her as she left. If she liked Nan so much, hopefully she wouldn't chase her away like she had all the other nannies I'd hired for her. I loved Vera dearly, but she was apparently a bit of a trouble maker when I wasn't around.

But Nan seemed like she could handle a lot. She was so young, but so resilient and strong. She was so brave.

And she was beautiful. She was soft and feminine, beautiful curves. And those eyes were unlike any I had ever seen.

Katya had eyes that were a bright blue sky. Nan's were a storm over the ocean, with hints of a rainbow hiding between the clouds.

I saw tears cloud those beautiful tears. I saw the bags under those eyes. Some part of me wanted to protect her, although I tried to convince myself that it was just common decency.

I shook my head, trying to get my thoughts back on track. She really did seem like a good mother.

There was also just something about her. Something that made me feel part of something more. Something powerful and intoxicating.

There was something about her scent that I didn't recognize, but some part of me knew instinctively. I wanted to be closer to her. But I knew better.

At least I tried to convince myself that I knew better.