Chapter 005

Josh Xavier

“Many times bad things happen to us and everyone expects us to get over it quickly and move on with our lives. But it's not always so easy to get over things, nor is it so easy to move on. And it's stupid of anyone to expect that”, I said to myself angrily the morning Charlotte and her daughter, Kelcie arrived.

My life was different from what it used to be. Three months ago I was involved in a fatal car accident which changed the course of my life. Everyone who has come to visit me since the accident has expressed how lucky I am to have survived the accident.

“But what is the use of being alive if I can never walk again? What sort of man have I become? A handicap? I, Josh Xavier a disabled person ", I said and angrily flung the teacup I was holding out of my hand, smashing it against the wall.

I hated my life many times I attempted to kill myself but even that I didn't have the balls to do. “Not this Josh Xavier anyway, the former Josh Xavier though. That one had the balls to do anything. That's probably why I had the accident”, I would tell myself sometimes as I wallowed in self-pity.

I was always so fast and daring. Even at those final moments before I lost my legs all I really had to do was slow down. But for God sakes, how do you tell a man in his sixties who's doing the best job at staying young and living his best life to slow down his Bugatti Veyron?

It is unheard of and on the other hand the accident was entirely my fault that the damn truck came out of nowhere but still maybe I would have seen it if I had at least somehow slowed down just a little.

One thing that is sure to come with age is responsibility not just the imposed type that young men wear as though they are their chains but the ones that we personally may impose on ourselves the need to somehow be God and take responsibility for everything wrong that goes on with our lives this was my daily cycle which started three months ago when the accident happened and has been ongoing till this very moment.

“There you are Kelcie. Why did you go so far? You left mummy standing out there alone…”, I heard someone saying in my private sitting room.

“Who is there? Who are you? Why are you here?” I roared angrily.

“Mr Xavier I’m sorry…”, I heard from a soft unfamiliar voice.

“What!!” I almost screamed as I was jerked back into reality.

Before me stood a rather stunning looking lady with very subtle features. She looked as though she had been crying.

“Good afternoon Mr Xavier”, she said, obviously stunned by my reaction.

I saw more shock as I positioned myself away from my desk. A giant many called me in my hay days and even at age Sixty-five before the accident I stood like a tower in the town.

“Who are you?” I almost roared although I already knew who she was. As a matter of fact, we had met a couple times before the accident when I was dating her sister and even if I hadn't met her, I would have still recognised her. She looked so much like her sister, only more bolder and in some sense more beautiful.

“Mr Xavier we've met before”, she replied shakily.

“Is that an excuse to not properly introduce yourself”, I replied back.

She stood still and stung as if this very episode was already too much for her to bear.

“I'm sorry Mr Xavier”, she said after a short pause. She seemed a little more composed as she spoke further

“My name is Charlotte McCartney your …”, she paused and it seemed like the confidence that was just there a few seconds ago had just disappeared once again.

“You're the one I am to wed”, I replied feeling a wave of depression wash over me.

“I disgust her”, I thought.

I disgusted her sister the same way that's why she dumped me. All she feels for me is pity at best .

“Yes“, I heard her say faintly.

“So now that we have been introduced, is there anything the one I am to wed Is looking to gain in this sorry excuse of a marriage? Let me guess you only accepted to marry me because of how helpless I have become right? Do you feel sorry for me? Or is it my wealth you are here for? You want to wait till I'm dead so you can inherit everything I’ve got?” I asked, ignoring all my sense of reasoning, hospitality and just delving into my depth of stupidity and pain.

“I don't understand Mr Xavier”, she replied looking confused like she could not tell if her feelings were real or fake. I could see that but it didn't stop me from rambling. I just Kept urging her to explain to me whatever at that point I thought she needed to explain to me.

Come see what I found mom”, the little girl said and pulled Charlotte out leaving me alone to continue brooding over my misfortune.

Later, that evening, as I wheeled my chair in my private wing of the mansion, I heard a loud shriek.

“Mommy!” I heard it again and before I knew it a little girl ran into my private sitting room.

“Ohh there you are. Where have you been my little munchkin?” I heard Charlotte say as she followed the child into my private sitting.

“What are they doing here?” I asked myself. I had specifically instructed Lydia to keep them away from my private wing.

“Why are you here?” I asked, almost roaring.

“You are not supposed to be in my private wing. Why are you here?” I added roaring even louder before she could say anything.

“You are trying to meddle in my life like your sister did aren't you?” I asked, pointing my fingers at her threateningly.

I saw the twitch in her facial expression when I said that. Her lips quivered like she was about to cry and she blinked rapidly like she was trying to hold back her tears. she stood in front of me whimpering and looking confused and frightened.

But I did not care. This was my private sanctuary and no one was allowed into it.

“This should be the last time I find you or your daughter come to this part of the building.. Do not come to my private wing. Never interfere in any of my affairs. I may not be able to walk but this is my house and I make the rules and control everything. Do not make the mistake of underestimating me because of my wheelchair”, I said, giving her an intense gaze.

Then I turned and noticed Charlotte’s daughter run into her mother's arms, almost taking to her heels and clutching tightly to her mother's dress.

“Leave my quarters Charlotte and do not come back here”, I said, sounding a little calmer than I did before but still filled with anger and resentment.

She carried her daughter and scurried out. I felt better when they left. I wheeled my wheelchair out of the dark corner where I was. It was too shameful to be seen the way I looked in this wheelchair so I stayed away from the light most times. A handicap who could not find a bride for himself but rather depended on the McCartney family to arrange his own marriage was not fit to be seen.

“My cold and threatening demeanor is the best way to hide my humiliation and keep everyone away”, I said and took a deep breath finally relaxing.