Chapter 5

So I leaned my left hand staggeringly on the door post to balance my weight as I kept my gaze fixed on blessing who was unaware of my presence as she continued kissing this guy I have never known in my whole life!.

"Ble... Blessing!" I stuttered breathlessly as I called out to her in pain; gasping in panick - she pulled back from his arms wrapped around her waist after hearing my startling call.

"Josh... I didn't.. pls wait" she pleaded embarrassingly and turned to face my direction. 'This was foolish coming over... What was I thinking' I groaned bitterly in my mind and shook my head slowly in disappointment as I turned around - walking bac towards their palour so I could go home.

"No Josh... Wait. .. let me explain..." blessing screamed gaspingly in a stuttering voice as she ran to catch up with me. I had barely reached the palour when I felt her right hand clamp firmly on my left wrist from behind.

"Pls blessing... Just leave me" I groaned sadly as I gently pulled my left hand forward to let go of her grasp.

"pls let me explain" she pleaded with a shaky voice as she rushed into my front - placing both her hands on my chest to stop me from moving.

"What's there to explain huh?... When where you going to tell me? I mean... What was the use of you interrupting my day with your call?" I yelled bitterly with all these questions flying out at once as I stopped walking - waiting for her response.

"Call? I didn't call this morning." She replied with a puzzled expression on her face. Then her eyes widened in realisation before turning to face the palour.

"Paul! Paul!... Who was playing with my phone?" she fumed angrily as she asked her brothers.

"Sister its not me o... Its Peter... Not me that is using your phone" her brothers argued loudly as they replied.

So I placed both my palms on her shoulders as she turned to look at me with her becoming blurry from the tears building. "How long where you going to hide this from me?... Cut your brothers some slack, it obvious you never loved me like I did" I said bitterly and gently pushed past her with our shoulders colliding as i walked towards the palour door. Then she turned quickly and followed behind me - pulling lightly on my shirt as I continued walking.

"I got caught up in the moment... am not doing anything with him" she spoke with a shaky voice and a bitter tone of voice; so I turned to respond when i noticed the tears trickling down her eyes.

I felt compassion for her even though I was breaking up with her - I was deeply hurt but yet, I couldn't leave her this way; at least not in front of her younger brothers.

So I leaned forward - pulling blessing closely to me before hugging her tightly as my lips parted to speak.

"Don't be hard on yourself... It's for the best if we don't date each other. I bare no grudge against you dear" I replied affectionately in a hushed voice before retreating from the hug while raising my hands to wipe off her tears.

"But... But I don't want to loose you!" Her voice stammered shakily as she spoke. "Neither do I... But I can't live like I didn't see what happened" I groaned breathlessly - with my chest aching in pain.

"I knew what I saw, Don't lie... You love him as well as you will like to deny?" I questioned - giving her a searching gaze as she slowly nodded her head in acceptance with the tears still trickling down her eyes.

"Then I have to let you go since he makes you happy... Your happiness is all I want blessing" I concluded and i pulled her closely for the last time in a tight hug, with my right cheek pressed hard against her hair. I felt the tears slowly building up in my eyes; my tummy hurt in bitterness - letting go off someone you've admired your whole secondary School life wasn't as easy as I thought! But I can't cry in her presence... No, I shouldn't!

So I pulled back as I loosened my hug.

"I have to go now... Take... Take care" I said clearing my throat awkwardly as i fought hard to stop any tears from trickling down my eyes...

Then I turned sharply to face the road just In time to hear blessing's palour door slam behind me; she had ran into the house still crying. I felt sunken as I heard her palour door shut - the banging sound jolted my whole being as I stood staring blankly into the road in front of me.

'I have lost my first love!' My heart echoed in agony as I forcefully closed my eyes with the tears trickling down my cheek; I couldn't hold back any longer! So I raised my right hand and wiped it off my left cheek - sniffing consolingly to hold myself from being emotional. 'men don't cry!... Men don't cry' I chorused continously in my mind - trying to get a grip of my emotions before stretching my right arm out to halt a taxi.

Moments later, I arrived at home as the taxi driver was generous enough to drop me at my gate. I paid my t-fare and came out of the taxi to open our small gate - shutting it behind me quietly as I entered our compound.

So I steadied my pace and walked sluggishly towards our palour entrance; turning the door handle gently to open it - entering the palour in a stealthy manner so I wouldn't alert our nanny or my kid sis who I now noticed was lying on the palour couch fast asleep. The house seemed quite and I was glad it was; so no one will notice my sad countenance - nor was i ready to face anyone looking all depressed and heartbroken.

Then I leaned my back on the palour door - closing it slowly and quietly behind me before walking straight for my bedroom; oblivious of Abigail who was coming out from the kitchen entrance near the corridor. Then in a frightening swiftness - I felt her left hand grab gently on my wrist; bringing me to a sudden halt. I turned to face her, but lowered my head to hide my sad expression - which was of no use as she was quick to notice.

"What's wrong Josh... Did you get into an argument or fight?" Abigail asked with empathy in her voice before moving closely to me. 'I wished it was a fight or an ordinary argument' my mind murmured in spiteful sarcasm as I raised my head to notice her searching gaze.

"It's fine... I don't want to talk about it" I replied in a weary voice as I tapped her hand in a polite manner - signaling her to let go her grasp which she suddenly did. "If you need to talk about it, am here" she concluded with concern in her gaze - in as much as her words warmed my heart; I wasn't in the mood to speak or engage anyone in a conversation whatsoever!.

So I turned without responding to her empathy and continued for my bedroom. All I needed was to sleep; for I felt nothing at this moment for anyone, not even Abigail.

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"Crrring crrring" my alarm buzzed near my pillow, jerking me awake before switching it off when i checked my wrist watch. it was 5:20pm and I felt good after that long nap; the thought of blessing lessened - infact, I felt less sober now!.

'Knock knock' I heard two light knocks on my door as I laid - wiping my sleepy face with my palms.

"Yes?" I called out calmly in response. "dinner is set Joshua" Abigail's sweet voice echoed in the corridor as she spoke behind my room door.

"Okay thanks.. I'll be out in a minute" I replied quickly - raising my body to a sitting position when I heard her footsteps retreating. Then suddenly, Abigail filled my thoughts as I recalled being cold to her earlier when I came back.

So I shook my head regrettably and heaved a deep sigh. "Pfff... I need to apologise to her" I said in a muffled voice as I buried my face into my palms...

"But first I'll need to shower," I concluded - smelling my under arm before standing up from my bed to leave my room. Then walked hastily towards the bathroom to take a shower before twisting the door handle open as I reached..

"Oh my ... Pardon me" I bellowed lowering my gaze quickly when I mistakenly walked in on Abigail who had just finished showering and was wrapping her body with her towel; good thing she was backing the door and besides, I saw nothing much - just her clear fair back with the towel sagging loosely around her waist.

"no it's fine.. am about leaving" she said, turning around fully wrapped in her towel as she approached the bathroom door where I stood. Damn! She was a diva, a true epitome of beauty as I stood - unconsciously admiring her curves and light skinned complexion from the door post as she strolled to my direction.