I open another e-mail that corresponds to Spanish Vogue, signed to me by Stella Castellano, Chief Director of the magazine. More details and more names appear in the office, besides the confirmed luxury hotel in Paris and my goals in the show. I will have to get an exclusive interview with some stylist. I look at the date and remember that the event will take place in just six days.I walk out onto the balcony and watch the movement five floors below me. People are coming and going, with their yellow smiles, their kids with bad hair and cars in a huge line because of the congestion of so many cars that passed by the famous Hilton at the end of February. As much as I love the heat and the sun and the yellow hue of life it gives each day, I am gray inside. As if a cloud came down inside me, leaving my own sun hidden and refusing to do its job: make me smile.I sit on the couch alone again like every afternoon, looking around as if I have nothing to do but look like a pot. I look at the
“I brought your bank statements.” Mom walks inside my room and hands me my credit card and statements. At the end of the paper marks One-hundred twenty-five thousand dollars is in black ink as if it were any value.Did twenty-three-year-old Selena actually make all of this money?“What is this?” I approach, my eyes extracting. Am I seeing this right? “Mom, there’s a serious mistake here.” I lift the paper as if the internal printer had malfunctioned.“Life insurance,” my mother explains and an idea pops into my mind and I look like someone who has an idea of the century. “Why that face?”“The face of someone who's going to do it right?” I speak like a little girl and with a thin voice. I slump down into the chair, holding my head, exhausted but mostly angry with myself“Selena, what exactly are you going to do now?” my mother runs her hand over her head anxiously. She gets up from the bed and starts walking up and down several times in the room.“Hunter went out with a bleached blon
HunterSnow is falling heavily outside the Camp Nouveau stadium and the euphoria for my professional side is at a level that is difficult to explain. There are journalists surrounding me on all sides, urging to know when my contract will finally be consolidated.Alan said he is going home so he doesn’t make a fuss about going to my place.I look at the pretty blonde beside me who maybe my distant future, or even by next year, help me get settled. I get into the blue R8 and drive, but as slowly as possible. It didn't even snow last year but now this year, about to enter spring, snow devastates the entire city.“I will definitely miss this city a lot.”As much as Alison says things that interest me, my attention is not focused on her. It is focused on the snow that seems to consolidate to me, feeling the same as I do. I fucking need to get HER out of my head.I park the Audi next to the black Lamborghini and admit that I am relieved that Sophia has returned with her know-it-all boyfrien
“I found out I was being beaten up by my ex and it was killing me inside because in my head I had never told anyone. Then I saw pictures of you with a peroxide piranha and I felt jealous and everything consolidated when I found out that I have more than one hundred and twenty thousand dollars in my account.” I’m chatting too much and he’s giving me that annoying smile I like so much.“Jealousy?” He raises an eyebrow. I nod with my head. “Do you know that I'm the only world champion being cuckolded publicly?” Arrogance is at the fore in his speech.He leans forward and holds my chin lifting my face upward. He parted his lips and brought them closer to mine. He looked deeply into my eyes for a few seconds as though looking out for any signs of hesitation. I looked back into those blue eyes which radiated only pure love and honesty. I kissed him as though it was my first time, his lips responded equally as we tried to quench each other’s thirst. It’s hard to form a response after that.
His chest rises and falls in rhythmic breathing, now a little calmer. I have to admit that the magazines never underestimated him, he really is the sex god and I am satisfied with the sweet pain in my private parts now.Despite lying with my head on the right side of his chest, I can still hear Hunter's heart. His hand over mine, his right hand encircling my back.“You have a tattoo.” I analyze it more. I put a hand over my mouth. “It's my eyes!”“A fact you already know. I did it just before we got back together last month.”“I hope that blonde has seen it,” I spit.“Don't worry, I didn't get that far,” he informs me. “So will Miss Garcia tell me what she really came to do at my house without a decent coat?”“I'll be the one to cover the parade in Paris. I knew I would see you there so I wanted to move things along.” I smile and he laughs a little louder.“By the way, how did you get in?” He turns so he can look at me better.“Through the back door,” I report and he laughs again.“I
I expected a luxury hotel for the concept that Vogue magazine represents but an ultra-luxury hotel is way too much for my little head, what with the granite glow of the hall dripping into my eyes. Fresh flowers whose names I don't know give the color to the place along with mirrors everywhere.My room is all cream colored with gold accents. I peer out the window and see the Eiffel Tower giving the air its grace. A feeling of Deja Vu rushes through me, overflowing with nostalgia.Like a crazy person, I head to the pillows on the bed and lift them, seeing that my intuition or perhaps subconsciousness was right: there are chocolates there. Or maybe...“Hi, my beautiful, I miss you,” Hunter says, attentive from the third ring.“I’ve already arrived. I'm fine.” I lie down on the bed, letting my feet still touch the floor. “We've already been to the four seasons, haven’t we?” I cut to the chase, remembering the letter.“Yes, when we went to Disney.” I smile just by the word Disney. “You rem
I wake up gasping and put my hand to my face. I can still feel the tingle of that bastard's hands on my cheek. I turn on the lamp and its light makes me squint and my hands fumble with the nightstand for my cellphone. The clock face reads three o'clock in the morning. Holy shit, there's a big event later and I'm up at three in the morning. This is great Selena.I put the device back where it is, fluff up the pillow, cover myself back snugly, and stare at the ceiling trying to figure out something to make me fall asleep. Until I realize that sleeping in a space alone is not my thing. Yes, I would like to have Hunter by my side, but besides him, I could have my mother in another room like at home. It is unbearable to be alone. I sleep out of my internal obligation; I sleep out of anger at myself for not being able to sleep.My clothes are already laid out for me when I get out of the shower. I look at the white cape that covers the dress with the Valentino logo in black. I pull the zipp
Running, I put on my dress, which I gave one more point for the versatility of the side zipper, making it easy to put on. I take the small shoulder bag studded with rhinestones and pearls and put on the espadrilles I had ordered from Ricardo, also studded with silver and pearl-colored Swarovski crystals. Comfort and beauty never hurt.I find Emanuel already with his state-of-the-art camera around his neck and Alice with her dress also embroidered with transparent sleeves.“I love your shoes!” she exclaims I don’t correct her by the term used, after all, they must not know what espadrilles are.The cars that come to pick us up are big BMW SUVs, all silver without exceptions. The journey to the parade’s site takes just ten minutes. In my opinion, it takes much longer, as a result of my anxiety.We decide to open the letters. Alice and I vote unanimously for Emanuel to go first.He reads it out loud. "A good photograph is taken with the heart, not always showing too much, but what is nec
One year later...You've been married for just over a year, and your children will complete one year. How has your life changed from then?I fiddle with my fingers that are resting on my now finely crossed legs.“I discovered myself as a woman,” I answer, facing Alice as she interviews me. “I found that I can really take care of someone, since I didn't even know how to take care of myself. And now I take care of four!”“How is the atmosphere in your house with your children?”I smile. “My house is the biggest mess ever. It's a minefield of toys everywhere. Every time I get home, my kids start waving their arms frantically and laughing nonstop to see me.”“And your husband, Hunter Blanco, is at home with his children?”I look at the camera nervously photographing me and then back at Alice.“He is an amazing father, and whenever he can, he is with his children and family.” I end it there and Alice tilts her head and looks at me.“Selena!” she scolds me. “This is a personal interview, so
I let him enter the dimly lit room. The quiet and peaceful environment, together with the image of Hunter kissing our children's foreheads, fascinates me. He cares about them fifteen thousand times more than he cares about me. Before, I didn't understand the reason for this exaggeration, but now I would watch over them as they sleep twenty-four hours a day if I could.“How did they spend these last few days?”My heart sinks, remembering. It’s been five days since we've seen each other, way too long!“The pediatrician said that Valeria should start taking half a dose of the medication,” I inform and he sighs. “The boys are missing iron. Did you see the size of Pedro's fat little hand and Liam's thick thigh?” I say, laughing.“There was no way not to notice it, it makes you want to bite it.”I feel like crying to see him so happy. I want to hug him and hold him so much that I have to hold back. I need him to keep me strong, and I like it better when I have more time, but now it doesn't
Hunter:"I know I'm stubbornBut I changed when I looked at youYou made me wiserAs much as I try to run awayI'm always led in your directionIt seems like I let go everythingAs I held your hand."“I Forgot to Forget You – Mr SantanaThe plane lands on the ground as the intense Madrid sun helps ease the short winter days it has been having lately. I smooth out my suit, ready to get off the plane. I become twice as nervous.I'm coming back from Germany after another game for the Champions League*. It was quite a game. I’m bringing another victory and two more goals in my career. Today I feel like no one can beat me. Nobody can beat me as the best player, as the best husband and as the best father, and that's why I feel powerful, having my family around.I quicken my pace, leaving my team behind. I hear protests, but I don't give a damn. I'm missing my family. It’s been two months since my two little surprises have been at home with my little princess ValeriaI get into my custom bla
I try to get comfortable in my hospital bed, but it's impossible. My stitches are sore, and my belly never seems to want to deflate. I want my tiny waist back and not get saggy!My two boys have just had their last hospital feed as tomorrow we are finally going home. After almost four days, we can go to our new house which I still haven't seen after the last details of the renovation. The hard part will be leaving my little one with the pink bow in her hair at the hospital. It won't be easy. After all, I have to feed three babies, and one of them will be far from me in that damn incubator.Hunter is hesitant after I mention Christiano's name, constantly dodging the conversation. Still, every time I look at him, I see his watery eyes for our daughter, who hasn't shown any improvement. I can't hide my crying spells. After all, I want my family back home and healthy. I can't believe that as soon as he learned more about the subject, he didn't think straight about his brother, who is too
“We have tested everyone in our family,” Hunter takes the lead. “Even Alice, Joanna, Stella, Fernando and Sophia volunteered. I realised that Sophia was on the list since she is not your blood sister. But none of them are a match,” he says, unsatisfied.I spend more time with my daughter, my beautiful little princess with blue eyes. She swallows stiffly every time she moves inside that warm bubble. She is so small, so white and almost bald.I head back to the bedroom, and soon they bring me my two boys. When I hold them one by one in my lap, already lying on the gurney, I almost fear I am going to drop them. Like their sister, they are so tiny, also white and bald. I can barely distinguish them from one another.First, I cuddle Pedro, who keeps moving his hands and making faces. And then it is Liam's turn, who keeps wiggling and blinking lazily. So beautiful.For the first time, I am going to breastfeed my children. The nurses watch me all the time to see if I am doing it wrong. And f
Life is sometimes so unfair but objectively correct. There are no pains that cannot be healed, no bonds that cannot be joined, people that do not come back—the concept of life and death. Widely known as the eminent pain after a person, who is deliberately said to set out on a better journey. Maybe not. Since no one has yet discovered what occurs after death, there are only scientific and religious theories to go by.I can say that experiencing death is neither painful nor sad. I don't feel like running out of the light and back to life. Peace. Perhaps the peace that everyone seeks is not in life itself. Never, ever, no matter how hard you try, you will never have any rest. As much as something is resolved well, another factor comes and shakes everything again. That may be the meaning of life. It’s not just you opening your eyes and feeling that your heart is still beating. It's a vicious cycle, where love and disagreement will always be present as a challenge, a challenge you face eve
I feel my eyelids getting heavier. It's too hard to keep my eyes alert. The doctors and nurses keep encouraging me to stay awake as I drift off. Sleeping at a time like this would complicate their work much more.They get to work with the scalpel. A rush takes place behind the door, and I am aware of what is happening. Hunter, my Hunter is in sterilised blue suits to match his blue eyes.My head starts to ache, and I close my eyes due to the sudden pain."Our first appearance together. There will be a lot of people.“If you get nervous and want to leave that's fine.""Let's see you soon, my beautiful. Just don't forget what we had together."More pressure in my head settles, and every time I open my eyes and blink, there’s a flash of memory.“I promise to never forget you,” I speak hoarsely, repeating what I told him on the day of the benefit ball.He takes my hand, and we both cry, and then he understands everything. Despite the rush to move my belly that occurs around us, we are obl
Losing him was something I've never imaginedMissing you was like the dark grey skies, I am here all aloneForgetting you was like trying to find out about somebodythat I never sawBut loving him was all redTouching him again was me realising that everything I ever wantedwas right in front of meRemembering it was as easy as knowing all the lyricsfrom your favourite songFighting with you was like trying to solve difficult crossword puzzlesAnd realise that there is no right answerMy regret for you was as though you wishedthat you had never discoveredThat maybe love could be this strong – Tay Swift – “Red”Contractions increase with every nanosecond of my breathing. I look at the car's dashboard and realise that Fernando is driving at 110 km/h on one of Madrid's busiest avenues. I let out one scream after another in pain, and with each one that is echoed by the car, I see the expression of agony on Sophia's face.I can't feel my hands or feet. My hair is plastered to my forehea
SelenaAfter our last fight at the end of last month it is like a burst of guilt. Guilt is now stuck between us and our relationship. He for talking to me about pessimism, and I admit that I'm pessimistic, but I didn't say that, and that's precisely my percentage of the blame.Despite what the doctor said, I was determined to fight the obvious consequence at all odds. I had to be positive, believe there was a calming light at the end of a tunnel, that it wasn’t a train which will crush me under it’s wheels of destiny.Snap! Someone makes a click with their fingers to bring me back to reality.“Stop thinking so much!” It was Sophia, my best friend soulmate.“I think the third baby's name is Theo,” I tell Sophia as she came to me to confirm that she chose her baby's name too. “And we'll have one more family man.”When we speak together, the same name is spelt out in our voices, making us laugh like crazy until she says I could put it on the third baby since I'm going to win first. It wa