The truth

Sophia

I had to give Philip a chance for Ellie’s sake. My rationality persuaded me to be patient and listen to whatever he had to say while my heart screamed at me, flooding my mind with images of an orange pill dispenser and my sister in tears.

The silence surrounded us for just a few moments before Philip spoke.

“I know you don’t like me, and I understand. I deserve it.

To be honest, I will never forgive myself for what I did, no matter what you think of me after I tell you my reasons for acting the way I did. But what I want to say is that I love Ellie more than my life, and I would never intentionally hurt her.” Sincerity was beaming from Philip’s eyes, entrapping me in their depths.

Intrigued by the hint of mystery in his voice my senses picked up like a hound hunting a rabbit in the woods, I unconsciously leaned towards him, not wanting to miss a single word, as I pushed aside all the other things that bothered me. Philip had my full attention.

“That was exactly why I wanted to break things up with her. To protect her. Believe it or not, it was my only intention.” I lost contact with his eyes. He looked downwards, and I couldn’t read anything more from the ocean of truth than those two grey pools represented.

“A month ago, I wasn’t feeling well, and I made an appointment with a family doctor. After some tests, Dr. Adams got worried and ordered more of those to be done….” A realization dawned on me, chilling me to the bone.

I saw him sigh deeply and shudder. I knew that this was not an easy thing to talk about. When he spoke again, the tone of his voice sent shivers down my body, making me uncomfortable to listen to what he was saying.

“My mother died of lung cancer when I was five. I don’t even remember her, but I remember the pain. The pain that ate her alive, that she suffered through. And the pain my father and brother went through, that our family went through as we watched her wither in front of our eyes while we could do nothing to save her.”

I was speechless, too stunned to say anything. As I was supposed to. What could one even say when facing a confession of such a magnitude.

“I think you can now understand what made me leave Ellie… I wanted to…” Philip swallowed his words, but I needed no further explanation.

He wanted to spare Ellie from watching him die.

Tears welled up in my eyes. Nothing could hold them back from falling, and I didn’t want to even try. All the tears I’ve been holding in for years were finding their way out to compensate for all the times I was strong enough to control them.

Philip’s love for my sister was true because only when you love truly and deeply, you are willing to put someone else’s needs in front of yours, and you can do the impossible to protect the person you love. And Philip did exactly that. He had hurt Ellie to spare her the greater pain.

“I’m sorry…” My voice sounded strange and squeaky like someone else was speaking through my mouth. My regret was genuine as I sympathized with Philip. What’s more, if I were him, I would have done the same thing. “I’m sorry I rushed to judge you so harshly without knowing the truth. If I had known…”

“It’s OK. Really.” His lips crooked into a sad smile, looking back at me. “You were trying to protect her, too.”

“Are you OK now? What did your test results say?” I whispered a question, afraid of the answer for too many reasons to count.

“Nothing yet. All I can do is wait for them. Some things, not even money can rush. Dr. Adams never said it out loud, but with my family history, it is easy to figure out what he suspects…” I gasped at his words. My mind was in turmoil.

He couldn’t die! It would crush Ellie! What the hell would that mean for her and the baby?

“I believed I was doing right by Ellie. I thought leaving her would be the best thing for her, that she would forget me one day and move on with her life. But I guess I was wrong.” Philip sighed deeply. I watched as his chest moved up and down like I was hypnotized by that simple action, as if I had never seen someone breathing.

“Ellie loves me as much as I love her, and now with a baby on the way… Sophia, I cannot find words worthy enough to express how happy I was when Kieran told me she’s pregnant. No matter what happens tomorrow,” He briefly paused before he continued: “I want to make things right for Ellie and our child. That’s why I asked her not to tell you anything, and let me explain why everything happened as it did. And why did I come here today to ask you something.”

The significance that laced every word he said made me sure of what he would say, and honestly, I had nothing against it. I saw this man in a different light. I understood him. In fact, I was certain I would have done the same for the person I loved if the situation required it.

“Because you’re the only family Ellie has, I feel obligated to inform you about me proposing to your sister tonight. If she accepts, we will get married as soon as possible. But I want your blessings first.”

“I promise to love her the way she deserves, and I promise to take care of her as long as I’m alive, however long that might be… and even after that. I’ll make sure Ellie and our child are safe and protected.” I believed him.

I believed in his sincerity and honesty, good intentions, and love for my sister, but I could not help but remember his brother’s hand wrapped around my neck a few nights ago, demanding I stop their union.

Kieran’s words loomed over my sister’s future like a threatening shadow that could destroy everything, but that has to wait for tomorrow… I will worry about that some other day.

My thoughts were interrupted by the shuffling coming from the bedroom. I jumped up from my seat, and Philip did too.

“You have my blessings. I know you can make Ellie happy and give her the best life. Thank you for sharing this with me. I’ll pray for your health and that you live a long life with the new family you’re starting with my sister.” I ushered to say before Ellie came into the living room.

I didn’t want her to suspect anything about what Philip and I just talked about, thus ruining the surprise waiting for her.

Philip’s eyes shone with happiness, and it made me smile. Maybe this was not such a mistake in the end. Maybe this was one catastrophe less in my life. Maybe my sister got lucky and found love because not everyone gets the same chance.

The moment I gave my approval to Philip, we heard the door open and in waltzed Ellie, dressed in a cute blue dress I bought her with my first paycheck when we came to Washington, DC.

“I can see you two are behaving,” she beamed and strolled across the room.

His body unconsciously shifted towards her when he noticed her coming. His face softened, and his eyes smiled, telling me everything I needed to know. Philip cherished the ground Ellie was walking on, and the realization brought peace to my heart.

This was what love looked like, and the only thing I could do was support them with all I had and also… envy them for what they had with each other. Something I could never have.

I walked them both to the front door, wished them a good time, and locked up after they left.

I was happy for them, and I prayed for Philip’s health. He had to be OK. He had to be… for himself, Ellie, and their kid.

I spent the rest of the night looking for a job online again. I would remember my conversation with Philip from time to time, and I could not stop thinking about how my opinion of him changed so drastically in mere minutes. I hated him before I met him, and even though, at the time, my reasons were entirely legitimate, having a clear view of the full picture made me appreciate him being the one who stole my sister’s heart.

Ads flashed before my eyes, and I didn’t stop at the jobs offered in the city this time. I broadened my search to a state and sent my biography to every job I thought I could get, which looked somewhat decent. I didn’t want to move too far away from DC, but rent in the suburbs and towns was significantly lower, and with me moving there alone, I could make a living for myself again.

The doorbell rang at around 9 o’clock, surprising me. I wasn’t expecting anyone as we rarely had visits, and if everything went well with the proposal, Ellie wouldn’t be back for another hour.

Worried that something might have happened, I jumped and ran to the door. Without checking the peephole, I unlocked the door and opened it.

But to my utter surprise, instead of the sister I expected, a hand wrapped around my neck again, squeezing it more tightly than ever before. A hand I was all too familiar with.