Chapter 03
Amber was beautiful.
She was a lot taller than I was and she had a pretty figure. Her brown hair cascaded in waves all the way to her lower back, it appeared healthy and shiny. She had big brown eyes and a structured face. She was dressed in a navy blue pencil dress that perfectly accentuated her curves. She held a designer bag in hand and her heels matched the colour of her dress.
I flashed a small smile her way, "It's really nice to meet you, Amber."
The look Amber was giving me wasn't particularly unfriendly, but it wasn't nice and welcoming either. She gave me a look that practically pierced through me, like she was observing and assessing me all in one go.
"Likewise." Was all she said back.
Dean's hand went round her waist as he focused his gaze on her, speaking softly, "How are you?"
"I'm good, my love." She responded. "How was your interview?"
"It was good." He smiled at her.
"Did you have an interview with Sasha as well?" Amber asked me.
"Uh, yeah." I replied with a nod. "We just rounded off, in fact."
All she did was nod.
I was about to bid my farewell and bolt out of this very awkward situation but Amber spoke again. It came out quite abruptly like she had been thinking it and just decided to blurt it out.
"Wait, Grace, you said?" There was a light crease between her brows. "Aren't you Dean's ex?"
If this wasn't awkward enough.
Dean and I shared a look before I answered her question, "I'm afraid so."
Her piercing gaze became thicker.
"Uh, anyway," I said quickly. "It was nice seeing you, Dean and really lovely to meet you, Amber. I should be heading off now."
Dean's expression didn't really hold what he was thinking. He simply gave a friendly nod and said, "Bye Chip."
I tried my best not to let what he had called me affect me. Either that or I just made an effort not to let it show that it had, "Bye Dean."
I wasted no time in turning away from them and walking away, letting out a breath I hadn't realised I was holding.
* * * *
"His girlfriend?!" Chris threw his head back in laughter as I told him what had happened earlier today. "God, that must've been awful."
"It was bloody awkward, Chris." I couldn't help but laugh as well. "Awk-ward."
I drove straight home immediately I got out of the building. I texted Chris to come over before hitting the showers and changing into a simple black tank top and grey sweatpants.
Chris and I were seated on the couch in the living room, facing each other as we talked about the painfully awkward situation I had to face earlier.
"Figured." He continued laughing.
"She just kept staring at me like I wanted to steal her man, you know?" I let out a small laugh as I remembered. "It was uncomfortable, really."
"Shit." Chris made a face.
"I couldn't blame her though." I said truthfully. "I think I'd react the same way if I saw my boyfriend and his ex girlfriend laughing and being so friendly."
"Aww, you guys were laughing?" Chris cooed teasingly.
"Shut up, Chris." I laughed, throwing a pillow at his face.
"How coincidental that you two just happened to run into each other there." He said thoughtfully.
"Right?" I agreed, my brows going up. "I was literally so shocked. I wasn't expecting to see him there."
"At least he wasn't mean and didn't tell you to piss off." Chris laughed. "That is something a crazy furious ex would do."
I couldn't help but laugh at that, "Yeah, I was happy about that. I don't know, he really seems like he's moved on and in a good place."
"Well, thank God for that."
"Yup." I said, popping the 'p'.
I still hadn't let myself process everything that happened today. Frankly, I wasn't sure I wanted to. Seeing Dean made me feel a lot of emotions all at once.
Over the years, I tried my best to rid myself of thoughts of Dean or anything relating to what we had. It was easier to try and forget him than to hold on to the memories we shared.
I had to move on sooner or later.
And I did.
Or at least, I tried to.
I didn't want to let myself ponder on what particular emotion seeing him made me feel or whether or not I was stirred up by the fact that he had genuinely moved on with a beautiful girl. I didn't want to think about any of it. Those thoughts were best pushed aside.
"Anyway," I shook my head unconsciously, "how's Julian?"
"He's fine." A smile immediately spread across his face at the mention of him. "He's driving down to LA today."
"Aww, really?" I smiled as well. "That's really sweet."
"Yeah, you should hang out with us tonight." He said, casually inviting me.
I made a face, "Thank you, but no."
"Why not?"
"I don't wanna be a third wheel." I told him as I fiddled with the the band of my sweatpants. "Besides, this'll be the first time you guys will be seeing each other since you came back to LA for spring break. I don't want to be a cock block."
"You are not going to be a cock block, Grace." He said assuringly. "Come on, it'll be fun. Except you have better plans tonight."
I didn't say anything as I thought about it.
Chris threw a pillow at my face, "We're supposed to be spending as much time together as we can before you head back for England."
"Fine, fine." I succumbed. "I'll go out with you and Julian tonight."
* * * *
Chris and I stood in a bar waiting for Julian whom we were supposed to see in any minute.
Chris was way more excited about this night out than I was. He wore a dark blue button up shirt, but half of the buttons were undone, making the better part his chest and his gold necklacevisible. He also had on a black pair of jeans and a white pair of sneakers on his feet.
I, on the other hand, was dressed in a pink long sleeved crop top and blue mom jeans. The sneakers I had on were also white, just like Chris'. My hair fell down to my shoulders in loose curls and I hadn't done much for my makeup, really.
"Oh, there they are." Chris said, smiling.
They?
I followed his line of vision to see Julian walking over to us alongside a taller young man whom he had clearly brought along.
"Uh, Chris?" I muttered quietly. "Who's that?"
"Okay, before you say anything," Chris' tone matched mine. "I kind of-"
"Hey guys!" Julian exclaimed immediately he stood in front of us.
"Hey Julian." I greeted nicely, still throwing confused stares at Chris.
"Come here." Julian spread his arms out and wrapped me in a hug. "Good to have you back, Grace."
"Good to be back." I smiled as we both pulled away.
"Excuse me?" Chris waved his hands in the air dramatically. "Where's my hug and ravaging kiss?"
Julian laughed softly before taking Chris in his arms and kissing him passionately.
I caught his friend's gaze for a brief second before the happy couple pulled away from each other.
"Grace, I'd like you to meet my good friend, Marcus." Julian said smiling. "Marcus, this is Grace."
Marcus had a really attractive height. He had light brown hair which matched the colour of his eyes. The hoodie he wore was white, the jeans he had on were
black and his footwear was a black pair of vans. He was handsome if I was being honest and he had a nice and inviting smell.He flashed a smile and extended his hand, "Nice to meet you, Grace."
"You too, Marcus." I nicely returned his smile.
"Alright, let's get drinks." Julian said, heading to the counter.
Marcus and Chris started following suit but I held Chris back by his arm, raising a polite forefinger to the other two boys.
I looked at Chris immediately Marcus and Julian were out of hearing range, "Is this some sort of set up blind double date or whatever?"
"Okay, don't get mad-"
I let out an exasperated sigh, "Chris, for the love of God."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I should've given you a heads up." He said speedily. "But I was scared you wouldn't agree to it."
"Well, you weren't wrong about that."
"Come on, Grace." He tried to give an encouraging smile. "Keep an open mind."
I scowled at him.
"And smile." He said, giving puppy dog eyes. "Pretty please."
"Ugh." I let out a defeated sigh. "Let's get this over with."
Chris and I made our way over to the barstools where Julian and Marcus sat talking to the bartender. Chris took the seat beside Julian and I took the one beside Marcus.
It seemed like Julian and Marcus had already told the bartender their orders because he looked to Chris and I and asked, "What about you two?"
"I'll just have a beer." Chris said to him.
"Fruit cocktail for me." I informed the bartender.
"Okay, coming right up." The young man said to us.
"So," Chris started, placing his palms flat on the counter, "what was it you said you do again, Marcus?"
"Uh, I'm a journalist." He answered with a small smile.
That was actually pretty impressive.
I always said that if I ever wanted to try something different from writing and publishing, it would be journalism.
Chris faked a surprised look, "Would you look at that?"
I almost threw my purse at his face.
Chris spoke again, "That means you love writing too. Grace is a very talented writer."
"Really?" Marcus smiled at me.
"Yup." I nodded.
"Come on, Grace," Chris chirped again, "tell him about your books. They're bestsellers."
"Chris," I widened my eyes, giving him a look, "stop."
"No, don't be silly, I'd love to hear all about them." Marcus said, looking at me.
"Maybe another time." Was all I said.
The bartender handed each of us our drinks and all four of us wasted no time in drinking. Chris seemed like he had given up being my spokesperson for a while as he and Julian started having a conversation.
Marcus looked at me, "So, are you from LA?"
"Yup." I answered. "Born and raised. What about you?"
"I'm from Texas."
"Texas?" I raised an amused brow. "That's great. I like Texas."
He let out a small laugh, "Me too."
Then Chris said from nowhere, "Grace, remember that vacation your family took to Texas when I was still living with you guys?"
I glared at Chris, "Yes, I remember."
The look I was giving him clearly wasn't sending the memo clearly enough because Chris kept talking, "Julian mentioned you like country music, Marcus. Grace is a sucker for country music."
"Really?" Marcus' eyes lit up as he looked at me. "Who's your favourite?"
"Luke Bryan." I responded. "You?"
"Keith Urban."
"That's ni-"
"You guys have so much in common, I'm already forming couple names." Chris cooed.
That just as well did if for me.
"Chris, for Christ's sake, can you just fucking stop?" I snapped.
Marcus and Julian fell silent.
I really hated what Chris was trying to do. It was bad enough that he ambushed me with this blind date but the fact that he was trying to act like a glorified Cupid was what got on every single one of my nerves. I sincerely had no interest in whatever this was and I was still trying to keep up the conversation just for the sake of the night but the fact that Chris couldn't shut up simply got me irritated.
I stood up from my seat and facing Marcus, I said, "Look, you seem like a really nice guy but I'm genuinely not just interested in being with anyone right now. And I'm heading back to England in less than two weeks anyway."
"Grace-" Chris tried to speak.
"It was really nice seeing you again, Julian." I picked up my purse and took out cash for my drink and placed it on the counter, using the glass to support it. "You guys just enjoy the rest of the night, I'm gonna head home."
With that, I began walking away.
"Hey, hey, hey. Grace, wait up." Chris said, jogging after me. "I'm sorry."
"Chris-"
"I'm so sorry, Grace." He apologised sincerely. "I was being really annoying and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin your mood. Let's just go sit back down and we can-"
"Chris, it's okay." I cut him off abruptly. "Your intentions weren't wrong, I get that. But I just really need to call it a night and head home, okay?"
He let out a sad, defeated sigh, "Okay."
"See you tomorrow." I placed a hand on his shoulder before I continued to walk away.
_______
Thanks for reading!
~Chris xx.
Chapter 04 It was Monday the following week. Chris had spent the entire weekend apologising for how the night at the bar turned out. I wasn't even mad at him but he really felt bad for how I left that night. He solemnly swore not to try to play Cupid and set me up with anyone ever again. I wasn't looking for a boyfriend and even if I was, I wouldn't need his help finding one. The three day conference I was invited to by the Ronald brothers started today and just as I had promised, I brought Chris along with me as my plus one. The building in which it was being held was as large as it was beautiful. The lighting was phenomenal and it was adorned with a lot of breathtaking artworks. The ceilings were high up above our heads and the marble tiled floors were almost spotless. And that was just the waiting hall, where everyone who had been invited stayed socialising and pacing around. The conference was yet to start and people were still filing in. A lot of successful people wer
Chapter 05It was the third day of the conference.Not much had happened yesterday, really. The conference had gone smoothly, just like the first one had. The Ronald brothers brought in different guest speakers and they were just as inspiring as the previous ones had been. It held on quite longer than the first though but it was much more exciting.Chris and I didn't have the chance to speak with Dean the entire time. Between the herd of people he was occupied with and Amber who was glued to his side, to the amount of people Chris and I got to mingle with, there really wasn't any time.Being the third and final day of the conference, the Ronald brothers had decided to make it more of a dinner event. It was held in the same building, just not a conference hall this time. I, for one, felt it was a nice way to wrap it up.The setting was breathtaking.Everything looked so beautiful and luxurious. From the different tables arranged everywhere, to the glass and chinaware that were being f
Chapter 06Dean was having a panic attack.That was clear by now.Apart from the mental breakdowns I used to witness after Dean would have a nightmare about Charlie, I honestly had never seen him like this. He looked completely disoriented and frantic.Luckily, I was familiar with panic attacks. Tommy used to suffer from them when he was younger and I watched my parents handle him enough times to know exactly what to do.Dean and I had found ourselves on the floor of the bathroom, his back against the wall. I pulled away from the hug so that I could face him squarely.Holding both his arms in each of my hands, I looked to him and said, "Breathe, in and out."He tried to do as I told."Dean, look at me." I whispered as calmly as I could manage. "Look at me."His ocean blue eyes met mine."Breathe." I instructed slowly. "In and out."He was able to do it this time."In and out." I said again, my eyes searching his. "Come on."He repeated the action but his body was still trembling.I pl
Chapter 07"So, are you ever going to tell me what happened last night?" Chris asked, facing me squarely on the couch where we both sat."What do you mean?" I raised an eyebrow as I looked up from my phone.The ride back to my house with Harry last night was simply filled with us talking about random things. It was a good distraction from the event that had happened earlier. He was also able to get my number before I got down from the car.It was nice, really. He was a nice guy."What do you mean what do I mean?" He furrowed his brows, hitting me with a pillow. "What happened with Harry?""Nothing happened with Harry." I rolled my eyes."Come on-""For real, Chris." I told him. "He just dropped me off and that was it.""What about that date?" He nudged my foot with his."I already told you I turned him down.""Ugh!" Chris groaned. "What in the world is your problem?""Nothing." I shrugged my shoulders."Why do you keep shutting guys out? Are you scared to love again?" He said in a pl
Chapter 08It was the anniversary of my father's passing.Three years.My father had been gone for three years.It all still felt surreal, really. It still felt like yesterday when my mother called me to give me the most heart wrenching news of my life. It still felt like yesterday when my father and I were trying to rebuild our father-daughter relationship. It still felt like yesterday when I was a little girl and he would tuck me in every night.Death was a thief of a different kind.It was the most wicked thing to happen to our loved ones. The pain of having to live with the fact that you might never see or touch that particular person for the rest of your life. The grief that washes over you when you think of a million things you wished you had said to them but didn't. The things you would do just to speak to them one last time. The hope that maybe you'd see them when you die too.The uncertainty of it all.It was crushing.I had promised myself that I wouldn't feel sad today but
Chapter 09I had a dream about my father again last night.This one wasn’t like the others.It was light and airy. The entire atmosphere was serene and peaceful. There was a garden which had different flowers of different colours. The garden consisted of roses, especially, which I remembered to be his favourites.My father was dressed formally, in a three piece suit which was as white as snow. He also had a fancy hat on coupled with a wide smile on his face. I couldn't particularly see myself, but I was dressed in a red summer dress that flowed freely all the way down to my knees. I was happy seeing my father and he looked just as happy to see me.I couldn't remember what exactly we spoke about but I did remember us having a conversation. What I do remember is asking him if he had forgiven me right before I woke up.This was the third time my father had woven his way into my dreams in the span of two weeks.They were comforting to be honest.My mom and Tommy had already stepped out
Chapter 10"Got this for you." Julian said, handing me a gift wrapped present."Thanks, Julian." I smiled at him and gave him a hug.Chris threw me the party against my better wishes. At first, I was adamant about him having the party but seeing how much effort he put into planning it all, I started to love the idea of it. He made an effort not to do anything he knew I wouldn't like. He didn't invite too many people, he kept the guest list exclusive, just as he had promised. He kept checking things with me to make sure I was okay with everything he was planning and things he wanted to do.I don't know what I did to deserve Chris, really.The party had recently just started and few of our friends were still yet to come. I was already having a good time as it was. I felt really grateful to the people around me and the people that showed up. I had received gifts from Harry, Chris, my mom and now, Julian."I think that's another great perk of having a going-away party." I said to Harry
Chapter 11I was back in Bath.It felt good to be back but it was also hard to not miss the feeling of home and the time I spent with everyone. It felt good being back in my apartment which always had this warm and cozy feeling. The entire weekend, I spent unpacking and simply enjoying my own company. I also spent quite some time texting with Dean. I had sent him selfies with the pink jacket he got me just as I had promised and we just continued texting from there. At some point, I started to feel bad texting someone else's boyfriend so much, putting myself in Amber's shoes and wondering if I'd be comfortable with my boyfriend texting his ex that much. Every time the thought crossed my mind, I'd tell myself that I wouldn't respond again, but then I always found myself texting back whenever he sent a text.I struggled with my subconscious to convince myself that it wasn't such a bad thing. Dean and I did say we were back to being friends and friends text each other all the time, righ
Chapter 34For a moment, I stood there, awkwardly staring at her.The shock I felt was probably displayed on my face. She looked like she wasn't moved at my reaction, like she expected me to be this surprised.She finally spoke, "Can I come in?"I quickly collected myself and tucked loose hair behind my ear, saying, "Yeah, uh, sure."I stepped aside, giving her room to step into my house and once she had done that, I closed the door. Her eyes wandered round my apartment. Not in a weird way, simply in a 'taking in my environment' kind of way. I observed her as she stayed silent, trying to tell by her expressions what she was thinking and what she was going to do next.Did she find out that I kissed Dean?Was she here to tell me to stay away from her man? To pull my hair even?She didn't look like the type to fight over a man and even if she wanted to, she would've launched for me the minute I opened the door.Not being able to take the looming awkward silence anymore, I said, "Can I g
Chapter 33My head was spinning.I needed everything to pause for a moment.So much had happened in the past 72 hours that I wasn't given enough time to process. It was crushing me.The drive back to my house was basically me trying to hold back tears. There was so much going on in my head that I feared it was going to explode. I had called Lydia and she sounded scared at how frantic I was. I could barely even form a proper sentence to explain what had happened, so she assured me that she'll be at my house soon and I should breathe.By the time I got home, I felt worse. I tried to simply take a minute to process and there was no thought that didn't hurt. From accepting the fact that I hadn't gotten over Dean to basically trying to end our friendship to Connor kissing me to witnessing Dean's panic attack.Dean's outburst tore me apart in more ways than I let on. I had always imagined the possibility of him feeling that way but actually hear him say them to me was another level of hu
Chapter 32I'm certain the people at the cafe thought I looked funny, the stares they gave me said that much.But I couldn't blame them, I was wearing hotel flip flops on a fancy silk brown dress. My hair was also tied up in the messiest bun and I'm sure I had dark circles under my eyes. Well, I got my breakfast order and headed back to the fifth floor in the elevator. Just as I was careful not to make a sound when I was stepping out, I also applied the same effort when I came back. Dean was still sleeping soundly by the time I got back. I made my way to the dressing mirror and started placing the cups of coffee and wraps of bagels on it. One of the bagel wraps slipped from my hand and fell to floor."Shit." I cursed under my breath, picking it up.I heard a low sound come from Dean and I looked back at him to see that he had woken up."Grace?" His voice was low and deep as he sat up and rubbed his eyes."Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." I apologised, feeling bad."What are you-"
Chapter 31The lady at the reception almost didn't let me pass.Apart from the time I had come to pick Dean up the day we went to the art gallery, I had never really visited him here. Seeing as he was a special guest, his room number couldn't be disclosed due to confidentiality reasons. I had to go through our previous texts to find where Dean had lazily mentioned his room number. The lady tried ringing his room but he didn't accept the call. I was already agitated when I was trying to explain the situation to her and she still wouldn't hear me out until she recognised me as author Grace Anderson.Turns out she was a huge fan and an autograph on her copy was all it took the entire time for her to let me up.If my heart was pounding before, it was running a bloody marathon by the time I was going up the elevator. My worry still hadn't subsided by the time I had gotten to the 5th floor and was searching for his room number.When I eventually found it, I took in a deep breath before I k
Chapter 30Lydia gasped dramatically, "He kissed you?!""Shhh!" I shushed her."Sorry." She whispered, probably realising we were at work and anybody could hear her. "Thank you.""Well, did you kiss him back?" She asked eagerly, still whispering."No." I whispered back. "I-I mean, kind of. It didn't really last long before I pulled away.""Oh, my God, you literally have the most interesting complicated love life ever." She exaggerated."I know." I whined."Then, what happened?""What do you think happened?" I furrowed my brows. "It was like the club all over again. He apologised for kissing me, went all extra silent and weird after and decided to drive me home. The ride back to my house was SILENT, bloody silent Lyd. And apparently, he called in sick today.""Oh, man." She made a face. "That's not good.""I mean, it just didn't seem like the right moment to be sucking faces." I explained. "He had just told me something really personal a-and I don't know, it was a really sad atmospher
Chapter 29I fought the urge to call in sick today.God knows I wanted to.But it was either I went to work and just have to face one or two uncomfortable conversations and maybe a few lingering stares or I stayed home watching dumb TV shows while being alone with my thoughts and feeling sad all over again. At least at work, I had distractions.I had stopped at Starbucks to get breakfast, as per usual, on my way to work. I had skilfully slipped into my office without running into anybody, hallelujah and comfortably had my coffee and bagels while reviewing some of the work I had to do.I had scheduled meetings with writers I worked with so I stayed busy majority of the day. I would say they served as good distractions if I didn't find myself having thoughts of Dean every now and then.There was no truth to Harry's logic.Everything is harder now I've accepted it.I had just finished my last meeting for the day when my door was slowly pushed open, revealing Lydia who wore a dramatic lo
Chapter 28"Whoa," Chris finally said something after watching me rant on FaceTime for about fifteen minutes, "all this happened last night?""Yup."Last night was a lot for me, really.It really did hurt having to go through all that; accepting that I wasn't even close to getting over Dean and having that semi-outburst in the parking lot. There were so many things I wanted to say but held back from doing so because it would've been too painful. Don't even get me started on the look on his face. I wasn't a fool. It was obvious that he was affected as well by the entire thing. Which was what I didn't understand, if he was so in love with his girlfriend, why was he here giving me all these mixed signals? Letting me be his 'tour-guide' and show him special places in the city. Why was he here letting himself get close to me again? I just didn't get it.Harry was literally God-sent last night though. He got me home safe and stayed with me a bit till he was certain that I was okay. At one
Chapter 27I hadn't really processed what I had done.I had just, done it.I forced myself to look at someone other than Dean which was unfortunately Connor, who definitely wasn't a better option with how shocked and distressed he looked.Harry flashed a charming smile to the group of people staring at us and held my hand, leading me away from everybody. He guided me to a random empty office that was fortunately unlocked. He opened the door for me to step in and did so as well after me, closing the door behind him."What the hell, Grace?" Harry asked with a confused expression."I am so sorry, Harry." I apologised, starting to feel mortified about everything that just happened. "I don't know why I did that, I-""Hey, it's okay." He placed his hands on my arms. "Breathe."I did as he told me, practicing a breathing technique I had mastered for situations like this where things got too overwhelming."First of all, apology accepted although I didn't really mind the kiss. Just, you know,
Chapter 26Saturday had come.It was the day of the BBA awards.It wasn't until the day before that I started fretting and feeling nervous about the entire thing. Anxious thoughts kept creeping in. Thoughts like "What if I don't win? Would everyone still be proud of me?" "Everyone has so much expectations of me. What if I let them down?"I tried my best to push them away but they were there; which was only human, frankly.The award show was nothing too extravagant. I did spot a lot of famous writers whom I had been reading and looking up to since I was a child and I felt honoured to be in their midst. There was a red carpet before the main event started where I was briefly interviewed with a couple of normal questions. There were also a lot of cameras flashing in my direction and I tried my best to look confident enough.Everyone who Kendra had gotten a ticket for showed up. Connor, who had made few efforts to speak to me since the whole Dean showing up at Spring thing, came all su