Chapter 15I was quiet for a moment.I definitely didn't expect to be ambushed like that. But the tone in which he asked the question caused the edge of my lip to tug up a bit. He had used this childlike and playful tone, like his question didn't hold that much seriousness, but at the same time, it did."Grace?" I heard his voice again. "Are you there?"I chuckled softly, "I haven’t been ignoring you, Dean.""Oh, yeah?" He made this thinking sound. "I don't think so.""Really, I'm not." I lied, taking off my coat and just dumping it on my couch. "I've just been, uh, I've just been really busy.""Oh, okay. I totally get it." His voice sounded like he knew I was bullshitting. "You know, I just wanted to, uh, make sure cause your energy's been kind of off for a while.""Oh." Was all I said. "Yeah, it's nothing. I've just been busy.""Are you sure?" He asked. "Are you okay?""Yeah, I am." I aimlessly kicked on the foot of my couch. "And, I don't know-"I couldn't see him but the silence o
Chapter 16"Hey bestie!" Chris' voice blared through the phone immediately he accepted my FaceTime.I smiled at the sight of him, "Can you get your big head out of my screen? I wanna say hi to the birthday boy."It was Tuesday, the next day and I had arrived at work pretty early this morning. I slept off last night immediately I showered and had something to eat. I woke up around 3AM and completed the work I had brought home with me and by the time I was done, it was 5:00 AM.So, I just started getting ready and drove to work. I stopped by my favourite coffee shop on my way to get breakfast and was eating said breakfast in my office when I remembered that it was Julian's birthday. It was currently around 12 AM in Santa Clara, meaning I was right on time."Hey Grace!" Julian's face appeared on the screen, a sheepish smile playing across his face. "Waddup?"They both looked like they were lying on their bed. Chris held the phone in his hand while Julian pushed his face in.I made a fac
Chapter 17"Wait, just like that?" I could make out the furrow in Lydia's brows from my peripheral vision while my eyes remained fixed on the road. "He just went full-on 'stay away from me, it hurts too much' on you?"I was driving Lydia and I to our favourite fast food restaurant to get lunch while I filled her in on what occurred with Connor shortly before I asked her to come with me."Yup." I replied, popping the 'p'.Honestly, I couldn't pinpoint a particular way I felt about what Connor said to me. I kind of felt bad when he said it because I believed it didn't have to come to that. But then again, I couldn't invalidate how he was feeling and tell him the way he was acting was unnecessary.But I guess Lydia didn't care much about that."He's acting totally unnecessary." She said flatly. "Honestly, it seems childish to behave like this because you rejected the offer of a relationship with him. I mean, he's a grown man, he should be able to handle rejection better.""I don't know,
Chapter 18I stayed with Lydia and tried my best to make her feel better.She spent quite some time crying until she finally stopped and started to talk about how everything made her feel. Her voice was quiet as she spoke; laced with this hint of hurt and at the same time, tranquility.I listened to her carefully. I watched her talk about Carlton and their relationship like she was the only one that saw him that way. She had a lot to say and when she was done, I offered my advice.I said kind things to her while trying to stay honest. I put my personal dislike for Carlton aside and tried so stay as neutral as I could. She seemed to have appreciated it because after some time, she appeared better.I wasn't still sure if it was okay to leave her like that so I just microwaved what I could from her fridge and served it to her while we sat on her living room couch watching a dumb reality tv show.I noticed that she had fallen asleep after some time so I decided to clear up. I stood up fro
Chapter 19It had been close to two weeks.The time had gone by as it normally would; my alarm would wake me up by 6AM and I'd spend a few minutes staring into space, letting my thoughts flood in. I'd finally get up and get into the bathroom. I'd brush my teeth and have a warm shower while listening to music or some podcast on Spotify. When I'm done, I'd get out and get ready. I'd either have a light breakfast at home or get breakfast at my favourite coffee shop on my way to work.Time at work would pass by with me in my office. Sometimes, Lydia would stop by and chat or I'd stop by at Kendra's and chat. There was also the awkward moments when Connor and I would run into each other and avoid any form of interaction immediately. I think I had gotten kind of used to the routine that it didn't really upset me when it happened anymore.I also spoke to Dean at least once everyday for the past two weeks. Some days, we'd have long conversations but some days it could just be a brief exchange
Chapter 20He looked good.Better than the last time I saw him, if that was possible.His hair was the first thing that I noticed; it looked shiny and lustre, like he had started using a new product on it. He looked clean shaved and well groomed. He was dressed formally. A three piece cobalt coloured suit with a patterned tie that was a shade darker to match. He held a briefcase in his left hand and his phone on his right.Dean also looked like he was using a few seconds to take the moment in. He gave a broad smile and said, "You look good. I like your scrunchy."My hands unconsciously went up to the scrunchy which packed my hair up in a ponytail, "Thank you."For a second, I forgot I was even putting a scrunchy on in the first place."You're welcome.""You look good too." I told him with a smile. "Very professional.""Thank you." He ran a hand down his suit jacket. "I wanted to make a good first impression.""How was the meeting anyways?" I asked him, my smile still on my face. "I'
Chapter 21I was at work the next day.When I got back to my apartment yesterday, I felt really tired and slept off immediately I stepped out of the shower and threw a big tee on. I ended up waking up earlier than usual by 4 AM and couldn't bring myself to sleep back so I just watched a Netflix show on my phone until it was time to start getting ready for the day.My mind was also occupied with thoughts of Dean and how his mood changed after his phone call with his girlfriend, Amber. He looked really downcast and upset. I didn't want to be that girl, but their relationship was very difficult to read in my opinion. I mean, it was obvious they both shared feelings for each other but other than that, they seemed pretty stiff. Careful around each other, if you know what I mean.Perhaps I didn't have the right to be making so much assumptions regarding their relationship when I didn't know much about it to begin with but the few times I'd seen them together, they rubbed me off that way. I
Chapter 22Lydia and Carlton did eventually get back together that day.She seemed happy when they both returned from their long conversation wherever they disappeared to. I could only be happy for her and hope that Carlton wouldn't mess it up again.The rest of the week went by in a blur. Dean seemed to be really busy with work because between one to three texts each day, we barely spoke. But he did call me last night to ask what we were doing today and it kind of made me happy that he remembered and actually wanted to do something.I don't know why I sort of thought that he'd be busy today still so I hadn't really planned on anything much. Although I did make a list of nice places we could visit, none of them were scheduled for today. So I just decided to wing it.I drove to the hotel he was staying to pick him up, seeing as I was the one driving us to where we were going. When I got to the hotel, I sent him a text informing him that I was in the lobby waiting for him. It wasn't lon
Chapter 34For a moment, I stood there, awkwardly staring at her.The shock I felt was probably displayed on my face. She looked like she wasn't moved at my reaction, like she expected me to be this surprised.She finally spoke, "Can I come in?"I quickly collected myself and tucked loose hair behind my ear, saying, "Yeah, uh, sure."I stepped aside, giving her room to step into my house and once she had done that, I closed the door. Her eyes wandered round my apartment. Not in a weird way, simply in a 'taking in my environment' kind of way. I observed her as she stayed silent, trying to tell by her expressions what she was thinking and what she was going to do next.Did she find out that I kissed Dean?Was she here to tell me to stay away from her man? To pull my hair even?She didn't look like the type to fight over a man and even if she wanted to, she would've launched for me the minute I opened the door.Not being able to take the looming awkward silence anymore, I said, "Can I g
Chapter 33My head was spinning.I needed everything to pause for a moment.So much had happened in the past 72 hours that I wasn't given enough time to process. It was crushing me.The drive back to my house was basically me trying to hold back tears. There was so much going on in my head that I feared it was going to explode. I had called Lydia and she sounded scared at how frantic I was. I could barely even form a proper sentence to explain what had happened, so she assured me that she'll be at my house soon and I should breathe.By the time I got home, I felt worse. I tried to simply take a minute to process and there was no thought that didn't hurt. From accepting the fact that I hadn't gotten over Dean to basically trying to end our friendship to Connor kissing me to witnessing Dean's panic attack.Dean's outburst tore me apart in more ways than I let on. I had always imagined the possibility of him feeling that way but actually hear him say them to me was another level of hu
Chapter 32I'm certain the people at the cafe thought I looked funny, the stares they gave me said that much.But I couldn't blame them, I was wearing hotel flip flops on a fancy silk brown dress. My hair was also tied up in the messiest bun and I'm sure I had dark circles under my eyes. Well, I got my breakfast order and headed back to the fifth floor in the elevator. Just as I was careful not to make a sound when I was stepping out, I also applied the same effort when I came back. Dean was still sleeping soundly by the time I got back. I made my way to the dressing mirror and started placing the cups of coffee and wraps of bagels on it. One of the bagel wraps slipped from my hand and fell to floor."Shit." I cursed under my breath, picking it up.I heard a low sound come from Dean and I looked back at him to see that he had woken up."Grace?" His voice was low and deep as he sat up and rubbed his eyes."Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." I apologised, feeling bad."What are you-"
Chapter 31The lady at the reception almost didn't let me pass.Apart from the time I had come to pick Dean up the day we went to the art gallery, I had never really visited him here. Seeing as he was a special guest, his room number couldn't be disclosed due to confidentiality reasons. I had to go through our previous texts to find where Dean had lazily mentioned his room number. The lady tried ringing his room but he didn't accept the call. I was already agitated when I was trying to explain the situation to her and she still wouldn't hear me out until she recognised me as author Grace Anderson.Turns out she was a huge fan and an autograph on her copy was all it took the entire time for her to let me up.If my heart was pounding before, it was running a bloody marathon by the time I was going up the elevator. My worry still hadn't subsided by the time I had gotten to the 5th floor and was searching for his room number.When I eventually found it, I took in a deep breath before I k
Chapter 30Lydia gasped dramatically, "He kissed you?!""Shhh!" I shushed her."Sorry." She whispered, probably realising we were at work and anybody could hear her. "Thank you.""Well, did you kiss him back?" She asked eagerly, still whispering."No." I whispered back. "I-I mean, kind of. It didn't really last long before I pulled away.""Oh, my God, you literally have the most interesting complicated love life ever." She exaggerated."I know." I whined."Then, what happened?""What do you think happened?" I furrowed my brows. "It was like the club all over again. He apologised for kissing me, went all extra silent and weird after and decided to drive me home. The ride back to my house was SILENT, bloody silent Lyd. And apparently, he called in sick today.""Oh, man." She made a face. "That's not good.""I mean, it just didn't seem like the right moment to be sucking faces." I explained. "He had just told me something really personal a-and I don't know, it was a really sad atmospher
Chapter 29I fought the urge to call in sick today.God knows I wanted to.But it was either I went to work and just have to face one or two uncomfortable conversations and maybe a few lingering stares or I stayed home watching dumb TV shows while being alone with my thoughts and feeling sad all over again. At least at work, I had distractions.I had stopped at Starbucks to get breakfast, as per usual, on my way to work. I had skilfully slipped into my office without running into anybody, hallelujah and comfortably had my coffee and bagels while reviewing some of the work I had to do.I had scheduled meetings with writers I worked with so I stayed busy majority of the day. I would say they served as good distractions if I didn't find myself having thoughts of Dean every now and then.There was no truth to Harry's logic.Everything is harder now I've accepted it.I had just finished my last meeting for the day when my door was slowly pushed open, revealing Lydia who wore a dramatic lo
Chapter 28"Whoa," Chris finally said something after watching me rant on FaceTime for about fifteen minutes, "all this happened last night?""Yup."Last night was a lot for me, really.It really did hurt having to go through all that; accepting that I wasn't even close to getting over Dean and having that semi-outburst in the parking lot. There were so many things I wanted to say but held back from doing so because it would've been too painful. Don't even get me started on the look on his face. I wasn't a fool. It was obvious that he was affected as well by the entire thing. Which was what I didn't understand, if he was so in love with his girlfriend, why was he here giving me all these mixed signals? Letting me be his 'tour-guide' and show him special places in the city. Why was he here letting himself get close to me again? I just didn't get it.Harry was literally God-sent last night though. He got me home safe and stayed with me a bit till he was certain that I was okay. At one
Chapter 27I hadn't really processed what I had done.I had just, done it.I forced myself to look at someone other than Dean which was unfortunately Connor, who definitely wasn't a better option with how shocked and distressed he looked.Harry flashed a charming smile to the group of people staring at us and held my hand, leading me away from everybody. He guided me to a random empty office that was fortunately unlocked. He opened the door for me to step in and did so as well after me, closing the door behind him."What the hell, Grace?" Harry asked with a confused expression."I am so sorry, Harry." I apologised, starting to feel mortified about everything that just happened. "I don't know why I did that, I-""Hey, it's okay." He placed his hands on my arms. "Breathe."I did as he told me, practicing a breathing technique I had mastered for situations like this where things got too overwhelming."First of all, apology accepted although I didn't really mind the kiss. Just, you know,
Chapter 26Saturday had come.It was the day of the BBA awards.It wasn't until the day before that I started fretting and feeling nervous about the entire thing. Anxious thoughts kept creeping in. Thoughts like "What if I don't win? Would everyone still be proud of me?" "Everyone has so much expectations of me. What if I let them down?"I tried my best to push them away but they were there; which was only human, frankly.The award show was nothing too extravagant. I did spot a lot of famous writers whom I had been reading and looking up to since I was a child and I felt honoured to be in their midst. There was a red carpet before the main event started where I was briefly interviewed with a couple of normal questions. There were also a lot of cameras flashing in my direction and I tried my best to look confident enough.Everyone who Kendra had gotten a ticket for showed up. Connor, who had made few efforts to speak to me since the whole Dean showing up at Spring thing, came all su