4 - Hotline Bling

~Slade’s Point of View~

It had absolutely killed me not to pay for Holly’s dinner, nearly killed me. Natasha’s words rang in my brain and told me not to. Don’t step into her life waving your money in her face. That’s not the way to do it. 

I was so damn messed up over seeing her I ended up giving the counter guy $300 for a $42 bag of food and telling him to keep the change.

Her son was handsome and polite, clearly amused with the little exchange too. Which means he’s probably more mature than his years. He wasn’t defensive though, he wasn’t throwing me shade or irritated. 

I felt that was good, if there could be any good at any rate.

It stabbed a bit when she called me an old friend, but really what would she say? I supposed it was better than saying “someone I used to know” or “some asshole” from high school.

I had to get out of my head, I really should get back to California. But I just can’t. Running into her tonight was a complete fluke, I hadn’t even been following her around. 

Just after the wedding my parents had left for somewhere more tropical, I hadn’t even asked. They usually didn’t hang out in the states during winter. They didn’t know but I sent the staff and their families on a cruise, all expenses paid for ten days and they left this morning. I needed space and I didn’t want anyone hovering while I likely had a nervous breakdown.

Plus after all the hustle and bustle and extra hours everyone put it on the wedding, I felt it was the least I could do.

My brothers hadn’t even come home for the holidays, they usually didn’t. Big shots in the premier league playing “football” which is the only word I’m allowed to use. They actually were really good at soccer but they were looking at retiring soon. That only made them cranky and rude. Getting a celebrity status went to their heads and we weren’t very close anymore. I didn’t have the patience for their egos and they thought I was just an ass kisser to dad. Even though I did have a mind for business and excelled at it, I didn’t take up his business.

The guys in my band had gotten to be way bigger and more known than the Norris brothers, but they weren’t dicks like my brothers. My youngest brother Theodore, “Teddy” already had three … yes three divorces under his belt at only 29. The last just finalized this month and he was already cozy with some other teenager.

So here I sit, alone in my big mansion wanting to feel sorry for myself. Poor fucking me. 

Fucking hell.

After eating way too much and downing several shots of tequila, I curled up on the couch in my office, not even making it to bed. I closed my eyes and only saw one face, heard one voice.

“Slaade.”

The way Holly always said my name did things to me. It brought me peace and comfort, like a warm bath. Replaying it constantly in my head took me back to another time and place when things were easier, they made sense. Before the grown up bullshit screwed everything up.

DING DONG

“Hmm,” I groaned, trying to turn over.

BAM

“What the fuck,” I mumbled, realizing I’d just fallen off the couch.

I rubbed my shoulder which was still supposed to be in a sling. I hated the damn thing and I’d rather have the pain, but this fucking hurt.

DING DONG

BANG BANG BANG

“SLAAAAADE,” I heard, making me shake myself.

How hard did I hit my head?

It took me a solid minute of hearing the voice shouting to realize I wasn’t hallucinating. A quick glance at the clock on the wall told me it was just after 10pm. I made my way to the door and turned off the alarm, then threw the door open.

There stood Holly Anderson. The once love of my life, and still the only woman I’ve ever loved.

On my doorstep with black leggings, an oversized t-shirt and a messy bun on top of her head. She had a bulky red coat on, that wasn’t zipped. She didn’t have a purse or anything.

“What’s your deal,” she snapped, shoving past me and pushing into the house.

I looked outside quickly, and realized there was no car. There’s no way she walked here.

“How did you get--” I turned to say but she cut me off.

With a kiss.

A fucking kiss.

Holly was kissing me.

And I froze, unsure what to do. This was a moment I’d dreamed of for fifteen years and now, I didn’t know what to do. Thank god my lips didn’t follow my body, they were moving.

My hands went into her hair and I immediately smelled booze on her. Certainly more than just one margarita. Damn it!

Not like this.

I just can’t.

I pulled back but she kept her eyes closed. It was like her face went through every range of emotion. Happy, pissed, angry.

“How about we talk,” I said, hopeful.

Her eyes shifted and then she squinted a bit, damn she was beautiful. Anything she did was mesmerizing. 

“Is the witch here,” she whispered, and I made a face.

After we split up our mothers got into it, big time. Way big time and they hated each other for awhile when they had been friends for years and been the biggest fans of our relationship. It seemed I just fucked up things for everyone all over.

“No, my parents are out of the country. I sent the staff on a cruise,” I said, trying to ignore the half mast I was sporting in my jeans. 

It couldn’t be helped. Especially when the anger on her face left and it turned … mischievous. 

I was torn between being desperate to keep her here and wanting to do the right thing and drive her home. She was clearly going to do something she’d regret whatever way this went.

“You know what I miss so much about this house,” she asked, turning away from me.

I certainly knew the answer to that. But she was already off and running. I stood in the middle of the living room and blew out a hard breath.

You need to talk some sense into her Slade, be responsible. She’s going to regret this tomorrow and you know it.

She never could hold her liquor but granted I hadn’t seen her drink since she was 17.

You don’t hang out with Feisty and not drink.

I willed my hard on down but it was pointless. My feet moved though I told myself this was a bad idea. So bad.

As I rounded the corner and moved into the hallway I saw her coat on the ground. I gulped and my eyes kept moving, then there were shoes.

Then, just outside the door to the indoor pool was her t-shirt.

Fuck me.

If she’s in there naked there’s no chance I’m going to be able to resist her. No way. 

The honorable thing to do would be to call … call who? I had no clue who her friends were these days, her son didn’t need to know about this. Both her parents were gone, she had no siblings.

I fell against the wall, more torn than a man should be. I should be overjoyed, happier than ever. The woman I loved was likely skinny dipping in my pool. This is what I wanted. What I prayed for and dreamed of for so long. 

My heart raced and my palms began to sweat. Right now I wasn’t the hundreds of millions I had in my bank account. I wasn’t the manager of the biggest hard rock band on the globe, the owner of several successful businesses. 

I was a heart broken 19 year old terrified of the woman in the next room who could rip my heart out and smash it. Like I had done to her.

It wasn’t even a question of whether or not I allow her to have that power over me, she already did. Whatever kind of torture this was going to be, I deserved it.

I blew out a hard breath and opened the door to the pool room, and saw her swimming around. The rest of her clothes were in a pile on a chair. 

“You probably shouldn’t swim with the stitches and all,” she said, coming to the edge. 

Not only had I fucked up my shoulder during Lukas’ batchelor party but I got a nasty cut on my arm that Holly had stitched up at the ER. No more drunken ATV riding that leads to going airborne and landing in a fucking pond in the dark. I’m too old for this shit.

Maybe I was seeing what I wanted to, but she didn’t seem drunk anymore. I sat down in one of the chairs. I was just wearing jeans with a black muscle t-shirt, no socks or shoes.

The pool had been the place in the house … outside of my bedroom … where we’d always spent the most time. She absolutely loved to swim and so did I. I loved her skinny dipping a million times more.

It always made my heart stop.

“You’re so beautiful Holly,” I said, in awe of her long dark hair, the way it contrasted against her skin.

She normally had a bit of a tan, well she used to. She was a bit paler now, but still the best thing I’d ever seen. The only woman I ever wanted to see.

Holly eyed me, obviously thinking carefully about what she wanted to say.

“Certainly never thought I’d be naked in your pool again,” she said, her eyes darting around.

“Guess you guys didn’t mess with a good thing in here. It all looks exactly the same,” she said, looking up at the dome of stained glass. 

In the light of day it's breathtaking in here. The sun just warms the room perfectly and the colors are stunning.

“No, haven’t changed much in the house,” I said, ready for small talk to be over. 

What I wouldn’t give to make love to her one more time. To feel her in my arms again. But I didn’t deserve it. It had to be way too soon for her as well, since losing her husband.

“What about the LA house,” she asked, raising her eyebrow.

Oh … you mean the house we bought together, but like a dick I didn’t put her name on the deed? That house? 

The place where I promised to give you the world … yet when we split she wasn’t entitled to anything. We weren’t married, didn’t have a joint bank account or anything. She had a ton of nice stuff I’d bought her over the years and a nice car. Since she’d written a lot of the songs on Feisty’s album she got royalties. Which I … seriously inflated out of my cut. So I knew she’d at least have that, and for the first couple years it was a lot.

“It’s changed a bit. The guys all lived with me at one point or another, they all still have their own rooms there. But there’s never been another woman that’s lived in that house, never,” I said.

I rarely ever let a woman I dated even spend the night. Going so far as to make the drastic step of getting a hotel room for us to stay in because I felt dirty bringing a woman to the house I was supposed to make a home with Holly.

We’d spent a few months house hunting … together. Looking for the perfect forever home. Then I took it all from her.

She scoffed and rested her chin on her arm, still leaning on the side of the pool. She was in the shallow end, it was only three and a half feet deep. If she stood back, I’d see her chest but she was hugging the wall.

“Guys like you aren’t single. Rich, handsome, famous. Hell Slade just look at the guys, there’s no way you aren’t a player. You don’t hang out with the sluts of Feisty and not--”

“There’s never been anyone serious,” I said, getting up. 

I unbuckled my jeans and let them fall, showing her my black boxer briefs. I had a few stray tattoos but nothing like the band that was basically covered. Most of the ones I got were drunken dares or I got them because all the guys got the same things.

All except one. One I kept hidden, it was just for me.

She eyed me carefully and I took notice. Her nostrils flared and she watched my every movement. I stepped out of my pants and sat down, dangling my feet in the pool.

Sure enough, she moved between my legs, wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on my stomach. 

“I’m extremely single. I couldn’t even tell you the name of the last woman I dated, it’s been that long and she clearly didn’t leave a lasting impression. I’m not like the guys, nothing fucking like them. Ask any one of them, they used to give me hell for going back to the hotel room when they’d hit the strip clubs.

I don’t need a body in my bed for the sake of having it. I’ve been alone so long it’s all I know. My punishment for hurting you so badly,” I said, as she jerked her head up.

She was crying, her mascara was smudged. I wiped it with my thumb.

“I’m so fucking sorry Holly. There are no words that can ever fix how I behaved. I was young and thought I knew it all. Thought I could have it all. Have you waiting at home for me, while I went out to conquer the world. I chose the band over you, okay? I admit that. It was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. I’d give anything to take back those last few weeks…” I said. 

A tear fell down her cheek and I wiped it again. There was so much more to say, endless words ready to come out of my mouth. But she just reached for me again, and I bent down, wrapping my arms around her. 

“My son is staying with his cousin… I don’t want to be alone, Slade. Will you take me to bed, and just hold me? Would you…” she said, with a sniffle.

I closed my eyes and squeezed her a bit, if she left at this point I’d be devastated.

“Absolutely,” I whispered, as I rubbed her back.