6 - Ice Ice Baby

~Natasha’s Point of View~

Lukas messaged me multiple times after “the incident” and even left a couple voicemails. Good … just let him sweat! Yeah the last thing I needed was to be banging on HIS door at four am looking like a shiftless hobo in front of some hot little young thing with perky tits who looked freshly fucked.

I hated to admit that the whole thing got to me, not her comment necessarily but just seeing him with someone. It was completely irrational, I more than knew his reputation. I more than knew how he felt about me having a baby. 

Don’t hope, you idiot. There’s no point. It's obvious what he wants. A paper thin, dime a dozen club girl. The very girls I hated in college, frat mattresses.

I’d gained thirty freaking pounds having Louie and how much had I lost? Eight and a half pounds, exactly what he weighed! But that was another frustration. 

Nobody tells you that when you breastfeed and pump you’re fucking ravenous. I wake up sometimes ready to eat my hand off, I'm so damn hungry. I made a basket of crackers, granola bars, chocolate and other stuff to keep by the bed along with bottles of water and tea.

I read that you burn a ton of calories when you’re a milk machine but I didn’t imagine it would be like this. It wasn’t like it had even been a long time but I was just desperate to get out. Desperate to leave my condo however I could. I surely wasn’t going to lose any weight stuck in here constantly eating.

After I nursed and tucked Louie away in his overpriced car seat/stroller combo I wheeled him into the bathroom, took a shower and actually did my hair in big loose waves. I put on a cute black sundress that somewhat helped with my new fupa (but it was probably the granny panties, let's be honest) and put on some cute pale pink sneakers. I had no clue where I was going but it didn’t matter!

I had a sudden burst of energy from somewhere and it’d be just my luck that I’d walk a half mile around the neighborhood and get too tired to get back home. But I had to try. I needed to feel the sun on my face.

The whole time I was pregnant I researched nearby playgrounds, even staked them out. I knew the library schedules for mommy and me times and story hours. But that would have to wait until he was a bit older. Of course since music was such a big part of my life I wanted him to have that too, he’d start music lessons as soon as I could get him to understand it.

One of the parks actually had a swing you could hook a carseat into and I had wanted to try that out at some point. It was a bit far for today, especially since I was still pretty sore. I just wasn’t the type to sit still, especially without work to do I just felt so out of my element. 

By the time I was ready to go I was already exhausted. I sat on the couch and before I knew it I caught myself dozing off. But no! I didn’t get dressed up for nothing, even if I only go to the lobby, I’m going out! I was going to have to take him for a checkup tomorrow anyhow, might as well have a dry run.

I tucked the diaper bag under the stroller, strapped my purse around myself crossbody and headed out. When we were in the elevator I got my second wind and knew I needed this. It was the middle of the afternoon on a Sunday and there would likely be people out and about. If the guy with the ice cream cart was around, that would just make my freakin’ day!

As the doors opened I was pumped up, excited and… fucking hell.

I looked up as I rounded the corner to see a gorgeous brunette with her arm around Lukas. They seemed deep in conversation, lost in each other’s eyes even. My stomach churned. Christ this guy can’t keep it in his pants very long can he? Can’t keep ONE woman? At least this one was really pretty, had a classic beauty about her.  Definitely not a floozy.

Scoffing to myself I just kept walking and acted like I didn’t see them. I snatched my sunglasses from the cupholder on the stroller and tried to pick up the pace.

“Wait! Natasha,” I heard. 

Shit! Really though? 

Before I could even decide if I wanted to stop or not he was already next to me, his hand on my arm. I thanked God for small favors with the sunglasses and didn’t move to take them off. I was literally a step from the door and Tim was feet away, ready to open it for me.

“I’m sorry, I feel really bad,” he said, looking straight into my eyes.

He wasn’t overly tall, maybe 5’10 or so, and I was 5’7 so we weren’t too far apart.

“Well don’t, I’m over it. Off to enjoy the nice day,” I said, smiling and pressing on. 

Tim opened the door and unfortunately Lukas followed, but now the woman was also with him. I nearly bit my tongue. I was so annoyed.

“Hey I want you to meet Juliet, she’s Jude’s wife. She actually dropped by with a basket for you, it’s on the counter inside,” he said, grabbing me so I’d stop.

Shit! Shit! Shit!

I'm an asshole! Ugh! I hate being wrong!! Grrrrr!! 

I looked at the woman, who had a huge warm grin, and she was already bending to sneak a peek at Louie.

“My sister and I own a bakery on the east coast, and I miss it so much sometimes. I thought if you’re nursing you could definitely do with some treats,” she said, smiling and already cooing at Louie.

Shit! She’s pretty and nice … and considerate. 

“Yeah I was gonna say you guys should hang sometime. She’s a new mom too,” Lukas said, smiling. 

Ughhhh! I lifted my shades and grinned, “I’d love that.”

With HER, I wanted to add. Not with YOU. Man whore!

“Sweet, Lukas has my number. I’m pretty flexible since I work remotely and haven’t even really been working that much lately cause they won’t let me,” she laughed. 

I found myself staring at her a bit too much, damn she was really beautiful. Perfect curvy body too, no wonder she snagged Feisty’s biggest bad boy.  

“There’s a cute cafe nearby, maybe we could do lunch on Wednesday,” I offered. 

“Sounds good! Jude just kind of circled the block while I ran in, but he’s back. So nice meeting you and congratulations momma,” she beamed, as she opened her arms.

Ohh jeez, she’s SO not from L.A. Nobody hugs anymore, maybe a fake kiss but in general there’s little touching. I did it anyhow, secretly wanting to smell her because I’m a freaking weirdo like that. 

Hmm, some kind of light fruity something… definitely expensive. I’ll have to ask.

My sister is utterly obsessed with perfumes and actually has a cabinet in her bathroom with easily ten grand worth of bottles. I’ve never understood the fascination but I certainly help myself when I visit.

“Thank you so much for thinking of me,” I said, remembering my manners.

She waved and jumped into a big black SUV, I couldn’t see Jude and when I realized I was trying too hard to look I just hoped Lukas didn’t notice. But fuck, I’d always wanted to see him in person. I’d probably seen Feisty play about a dozen times in the last decade but I could never get backstage. Their security was by far and away the strictest. Saying I was with Ajax didn’t mean shit, our label wasn’t that great.

“So where are you off to,” he asked, as I started to walk.

“Don’t you have a skirt to look under,” I snapped, dropping my shades back on my face.

It was a perfect sunny and blue sky day, there was a slight breeze but it was warm. I was glad I’d just left Louie in a onesie even if I had the urge to fully doll him up.

“You can’t hate me forever,” he said, still following me.

“Stalking is illegal in all 50 states,” I said, still walking with a purpose but in no actual direction.

My eye caught the ice cream vendor up the street and I suddenly felt better with a goal, and for the calorie fest to come.

“I’m a lovely person, I don’t hate anyone,” I said, casually.

“Are you always such a pain in the ass,” he whined.

Ohh honey, you ain’t seen nothing yet. If I don’t like someone, I really don’t like them. Being the manager of a recording studio means I say … I control what goes on in my world. I’m used to holding the reins and what I say goes.

Those on my shitlist, get blacklisted and treated accordingly. And in LA where some studios have waitlists like you wouldn’t believe, I’ve always got people trying to kiss my ass to get a spot. Our label may have sucked but they sunk a small fortune into our recording equipment so artists from all over try to get in. I literally have a file on all the people that will never go through my doors. 

I decided to ignore Lukas and continued on my mission. I’d probably walked half a mile and I was already tired, but it wasn’t like I’d been horribly active this past month either. I made my way to the ice cream vendor, got in line and snuck a peek at my adorable baby who was passed out cold. I touched a finger to his little round cheek and grinned.

“He’s actually pretty adorable,” Lukas said, leaning in.

“He’s mine, of course he is. He’s the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen,” I said, as I got lost feeling his softness. 

It was quiet for a minute as we waited, Lukas seemed to be looking at the flavor list but I very much knew what I wanted, I was a creature of habit anyhow.

“Things at work are good. I hope you’re not wasting any time stressing about it. Pearl is coming in a bit this week to help me out too,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

I was ready to blurt out, “why are you still here?” But I thought the better of it.

“That’s good,” I simply said.

Then it was my turn and I got my stand by, the best of both worlds. A soft serve twist cone covered in rainbow sprinkles. Just ordering it I was already salivating.

He ordered a hot fudge sundae and I had to admit that sounded good too. I’d only ever had one really serious long term relationship and sometimes I missed it so damn bad. When you could share ice cream, share laughs. Just talk about your day. 

Don’t … hope!

“There’s a spot over there, wanna sit,” he said, flicking his head as he paid. 

“Thank you,” I said, remembering some manners.

He was here, might as well let him pay. Even if I suppose it means now I have to make small talk with a guy who just this morning was half naked with a half naked woman in front of me.

“Can’t we just … start over? I know I was an asshole yesterday morning. Karma more than bit my ass over that and cost me a chunk of change,” he said. 

I raised my eyebrow at that, wondering just what he meant. He got laid by some random chick who doesn’t want a commitment, certainly doesn’t have baggage like me. Isn’t that what his life is about?

I eyed him as I went to town on my ice cream, but mostly just shook my head.

“I don’t care what you do Lukas. It just seemed awfully strange that I literally never hear anything from your place and one day after I get a screaming baby you get a screaming airhead,” I said, as I ate in a very un-ladylike manner. 

“Hmm, so good,” I practically moaned, closing my eyes.

When I finally looked up he was staring at me. Like really staring. 

“Did I get something on me,” I said, looking down at my chest. I doubled up on the nursing pads so I knew I wasn’t leaking.

He licked his lips and went back to eating. Okaaaay…

“Did you have other plans or did you just need some fresh air,” he asked, after a minute.

Guh, does he want to know what I had for breakfast too? I’ve already had enough people for today.

“Just thought I’d get out for a minute. I have to take him for a follow up appointment tomorrow so I need to get used to packing up all this crap and going out,” I said, licking some more.

When I looked up, again he was staring at me. Did he not get enough tongue action last night??

His eyes quickly moved away when it was obvious I caught him staring. My cheek reddened and I got really hot. Why does he have to be so damn hot? So impossibly sexy?

Cause he’s a rock star. That’s what he does, put you in heat. 

“I could take you, if you want. Tomorrow’s kind of a light day,” he said.

I raised my eyebrow.

“I’m sure it’s not! What are you not doing? Start talking,” I snapped, before I could help myself.