Chapter 3

I felt a tear of happiness fall from my eye. I was meandering through the Dorian coast downtown area, mind deep in my own little universe. Suddenly a familiar face attracted my gaze, it was Arlo; the sight of him delighted me, and I assumed he had come to surprise me. While I would never describe him as romantic, these gestures warmed my heart. Maybe he came to surprise me on my last day of work; he was across the street, seated in the coffee shop's outside seating area, head bowed, eyes glued to the phone, fidgeting. What a scrumptious thought. I have loved him deeply; he was always my first true love, and after tomorrow's alter ceremony, we will be inseparable.

I have prepared a lengthy vow of commitment that I plan to read in front of my loved ones. I know it will be a day I'll always remember fondly and one that, perhaps, our grandkids will hear about someday. I have been diligently saving every penny to make it an unforgettable moment.

My tummy was doing a happy dance of butterflies as I smiled in anticipation of tomorrow, and seeing him here filled me with more joy than I could contain.

Standing on the other side of the road from Arlo, I kept my hazel eyes on him while my hands rummaged through my handbag looking for my phone. I was tempted to pick up the phone and answer it while staring at his lovely face, then pretend it was a serendipitous encounter. I flushed and smiled like a Cheshire cat as I agonised over whether to call him or wait for him to call and have that ideal movie scene. I couldn't wait, certainly not for too much longer. I wanted to call him right away.

My smile froze and my eyes dilated as I saw a voluptuous woman with a wasp waist bend in to kiss Arlo. He kissed her passionately and tenderly, tucking her caramel hair behind her ears. Even though I had no doubt about her identity, I still refused to accept the truth that was being played out before my eyes. She stroked his hair affectionately, despite the fact that he despised it anytime anyone touched it (including me!). Yet, it appeared that he enjoyed being touched by her. He took her hand in his and kissed it softly. She plopped herself on his lap and put her arms around his shoulders. She drank some of his coffee and they left the coffee shop.

They linked hands and made their way down the busy street to the quieter one. The sun was dipping below the horizon, and with it, my emotions. A punch from a million different emotions hit me all at once. The woman's name was Kolleen, and she was Arlo's employer. Her husband had allegedly caught the two of them engaging in sexual activity at their workplace. She and her husband are currently in the midst of dissolving their marriage.

Following the revelation that they had been having an affair six months ago, Alro got on his knees and plead for my forgiveness and asked me to Marry his. As he was the only man I had ever known and I didn't want to lose him, I chose to forgive him and marry him after he admitted his guilt and said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

He proved to me that he was a new person who had cut all ties with Kolleen. When I followed Arlo and Kolleen, I secretly hoped that this was not as it seemed. My brain just refused to accept the evidence my eyes presented. The idea that he might hurt me like this again was intolerable to me. Before drawing any firm conclusions, I needed to establish beyond a reasonable doubt that he was cheating again. I wished with all of my heart that I was wrong.

They entered the dingy motel lobby hand in hand, laughing and happy. In a matter of seconds, they emerged, and the weight on my chest lightened a bit. They may be here for a business meeting, or they might be here to clear the air about what occurred a few months ago when her husband caught them both red-handed. In trying to justify his actions, I made up a few stories and repeated them to myself. I didn't wanted to believe that my world was falling apart. While I had not yet fully healed from the pain he had caused me in the past, I was ready to love him and have a family with him.

After walking through an open corridor that was lined with doors to many rooms, they entered a chamber that was coloured crimson. They closed and bolted the door behind them.

When I grabbed for the phone and called Arlo's number, my hands were shaking and I felt piercing agony in my fingers. His phone continued ringing, but there was no answer from him. There was no response to my repeated calls. My mind raced with a seemingly never-ending stream of questions. I was so paralysed by the fear of having my heart shattered once more that I was physically unable to move, and my limbs were beginning to lose their strength.

I've never been good at figuring out what to do next in life. Why was I such a cowardly, weakling? Why can't I just walk in and start grilling him? I'm engaged to him, and our wedding is scheduled for tomorrow. What he was doing with Kolleen in a hotel room was suspicious, and I was within my rights to seek an explanation. Yet despite my best efforts, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was powerless and unable to face whatever was waiting beyond the locked doors. I was in denial, but I didn't know what to do about it; I loved him, but I wondered whether he did, too.

For the selfish goal of starting a family, I had to swallow my pride and let things pass, and for that, I felt humiliated and ashamed. As much as I loved him, I neglected to show myself the same amount of affection. My legs felt like jelly, yet I stood there staring blankly at their window, unable to sift through my feelings to find the appropriate response to what felt like being stabbed in the heart over and over again with the same knife by the same person.

What does one do when their instinct told them it was coming yet they still stood there with their wounded heart, mustering every last bit of strength to love, forgive, and be vulnerable again? I felt like crying, but I couldn't.

My heart was thumping frantically in my ribs, and the agony was so severe that it made my face go numb.

An icy gust of dreadful wind blew over me, and it made me laugh out loud. My hair flapped in the air, getting twisted up exactly like the life that was unfolding in front of me. As I stood there and watched the room's light go out, it became clearer to me what must have been going on inside. I wondered if it was my strength or stupidity to still be standing there.

I sat on the road pavement focusing my attention solely on the window while tears trickled down my face and into my palms. My numb, icy hands were comforted by the warmth of my tears. I decided to face him after wiping my tears away with the sleeves of my jacket. My heart was already shattered; a few more shattered pieces won't make a difference.

I figure since I've made it this far, I may as well say hello to Arlo and Kolleen. I was in the middle of crossing the street when all of a sudden I heard a car slam on its brakes, and it created a screeching sound. I was so terrified that I brought my arms up to cover my face and peered through the space between my fingers.

At that very moment, being run over and crushed to death by the car might have been preferable to the current messy situation.