Shelby moves a towel next to Beth's hip. The woman appears unfazed. "There's string and scissors in the bag. I'm going to drop them in the boiling water and I'll be right back." She leaves the room with one of the bags.Beth's cry fills the room. Her face is filled with exertion. Things are moving so fast, but I'll never forget how beautiful she is at this moment as she brings a new life into the world. Death is cold and ugly. This is a miracle. Shelby walks back in snapping directions like a drill sergeant."I can see the baby's head," Linc shouts. "Push with the next contraction and we'll see if he's ready to join us.""She," Beth yells at him."Okay, she," he replies with an exasperated huff.Beth's loud panting fills the room until her fingers relax on mine. I'm so damn proud of her for hanging on this long and keeping her cool. "Oh, God, oh, God," she cries out."Push, Beth," I tell her. Her response is unintelligible. Shelby runs out and returns with a bowl of steaming water and
Diapers were on the list I gave Rack. I've never put a diaper on a newborn or realized how hard it is. Rack watches helplessly and I can see he's further out of his comfort zone than I am. I figure out which way the diaper goes and slide it beneath his tiny bottom. The last thing I expect is the stream of warm pee that sprays upward and soaks me. Rack hands me a towel from the stack on the edge of the bed.His lips curve up in a shameless smile. "It's never too early to teach shooting straight.""Thanks, I think he's got it down," I say with a laugh. I finish attaching the small tabs. As first diapers go it's a disaster of slightly crooked proportions.I gaze at my son and feel such overwhelming love-lopsided diaper and all. Before giving birth I refused to consider having a boy. Now, within two hours of his arrival, I can't imagine anything else. Linc loaned me a button shirt so I can breastfeed. He blushed when he brought it in, which I thought humorous. He's seen everything there is
I can't sort out the rambling thoughts in my head. I know what to do with anger and aggression. I've handled both more times than I care to count. These thoughts are different. Watching Beth nurse the baby is the loveliest, sexiest, and most precious thing I've ever witnessed. Not that I'm thinking sex while watching. No. I'm thinking family, settling down, and changing my life. It's a joke I can't laugh about. I've done too many terrible things and I'm not finished. Not even close."You've got it bad, brother mine," Linc says while rocking the baby. The child I haven't held because even thinking about it makes my stomach twist into knots. There's this yawning hole in my heart and if I touch him I don't know if I could ever let go.Linc is destined to be a father. He'll be wonderful at it-a great husband, drive a minivan, and do his best, even with his job, to never miss one of his kid's games. Our father did the same. If Linc wasn't holding the baby, I swear I'd deck him.Yes, I have
Pillows are behind my back and I'm nursing my hungry son. My nipples are sore, but I don't care. I crave this closeness and need the comfort it brings. Part of me wishes I hadn't listened to Rack and Linc's conversation. I'm incredibly foolish when it comes to men. It never occurred to me that Rack was anyone other than who my brother wrote me about-a good, solid man. Now I'm back to square one-in too far over my head with no way out.Rack doesn't believe I love him. Why should he? He has no idea I see him through my brother's eyes. Nick conveyed his respect for Rack in every email he sent. It was easy for me to fantasize and turn Rack into a mythical god. It was so easy to form a crush on the man my brother handpicked. Nick made it clear that Rack was perfect for me. Then I met Kevin, a real person and not just some fantasy guy my brother gushed over. I was angry with my brother too. Angry that he re-enlisted and returned for another tour of duty. Rebelling against Nick's amazing fr
I sleep beside Beth the following two nights. We don't speak about her future and she never mentions the sleeping arrangements. I would move to the couch if she insisted. I lie to myself by thinking it's safer for me to be in the room with her. So much remains unsaid and maybe that's how our relationship will end.The baby sleeps next to the bed in a bassinet. The downside is that I lay awake longer than I should thinking about what it would be like if this were really my life. A wife, a child. A dream I never imagined. I only close my eyes when I'm too exhausted to keep them open.On day four at my brother's house, I take my throwaway cell into the backyard and sit on the steps while Daisy does his business. He's one of the oddest looking dogs imaginable with shepherd markings and the kinky curly hair of a standard poodle. The day after we arrived, Daisy and I had a serious problem when he tried humping my leg. Linc, the ass, snickered. Shelby stopped me from pummeling my brother by s
Carson is fussy. Hell, I'm fussy. I have no control and it's like being at the ranch all over again.Rack is delivering me into the hands of a motorcycle gang. A very bad one. He didn't pull punches when he told me who and what they are.I walk back and forth over the cool tile floor and bounce Carson against my chest."I'll walk with him if you need to sleep."I turn to Shelby, who's been nothing but wonderful. Now I've brought danger straight to her doorstep. "I'll sleep in the car after we leave. I'm sure Carson will sleep then or at least I hope." I've tried everything to get him to nap. Not even feeding works.She wipes the edges of her eyes. "We'll miss you," she says as she bends down and pets Daisy.I stop walking. "I'm so sorry, Shelby."She stands and crosses the space between us. Her arms wrap around me and Carson. "Don't ever be sorry, we'll be okay. All you think about is this, sweetheart." She pulls back and smiles "Now hand him over and let's see if Aunt Shelby can calm
I know Beth is worried, but she hangs in like a trouper. I told her a little about the Crows. Two years ago their help wouldn't be an option. Each man riding behind us has spent time in prison. None of them transitioned easily. When Dax took over as president of the club, he had just rescued a child from being sold on the black market by the man he killed to gain leadership of the club. That child is the niece of the woman Gomez fell in love with. Without Dax's help, I've no doubt the child would be dead now.After Dax killed the president of the Crows, he made sweeping changes. The biggest being acceptance of the Latina woman he fell in love with and married. You toe the line and follow Dax's rules or you become part of the Arizona desert terrain in an unmarked grave. Dax and his club might be slightly domesticated now but the way they deal with trouble is similar to Moon's approach and I don't see that changing.Gomez is indebted to Dax for saving Celina's niece, and Dax is indebted
I somehow get lucky and Carson sleeps the rest of the way. I'm able to doze for about an hour. Rack pulls into a fast food drive-thru the first time I complain I'm hungry. Having him take care of me has become a habit I need to break. He is a habit I need to break.I eat the fries and burger but go light on the soda because I'm hoping not to stop for another bathroom break. Living this past week without pregnancy bladder has been great and the soreness from giving birth is gone too. Shelby purchased me some jeans a size larger than I wore before becoming pregnant and I managed to slip them on before leaving today. Unfortunately, they're still tight and it's made for an uncomfortable drive.The scenery changes when we head through the mountains. This isn't what I expected in Arizona. The tall pine trees and milder weather are welcome. It's not green in the way Montana is but the beauty is undeniable. Another hour goes by and we descend from the higher elevation. Rack cranks up the car's
I stayed with Mr. Loche for two hours. When I came back to the cabin, Father Andrews and Madison were cooking dinner together in the kitchen. She was laughing and he was telling her that anyone can learn to cook, it just takes practice. I don't add my two cents that the meal Mrs. Loche prepared would have been safer. I word it a little more carefully, "Please don't encourage her. Gabriella will throw a fit if Madison moves in on her territory." They stop what they're doing and I receive my first genuine smile from Madison that I've seen in weeks."It's a simple lasagna. Mak can make it when you're here at the cabin. Even I wouldn't do anything to piss off Gabriella." He cringes with great exaggeration and Madison laughs.She looks at him with a huge smile. "You didn't tell me you know Gabriella.""I know her daughter. I've heard all the stories from her and I'm terrified of her mother."I walk to my wife and wrap my arms around her from behind. She leans into me and places her hands on
It's three more days before our guest arrives. I'm actually tongue-tide when Moon introduces me to Father Andrews. He's American but lives in Mexico and drove all this way to return a favor he owed my husband. He's younger than a priest has a right to be and he's too damn good looking for his job. I place him in his early thirties. It's strange because he looks oddly familiar even though I'm sure I've never met him.The three of us walk into the living room where Mrs. Loche put out cucumber sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies. Father Andrews's eyes light up. "I haven't eaten since breakfast and these look delicious," he says while filling a plate.Moon doesn't sit with us. "Mr. Loche and I are working on a new garden and clearing some land. I'll be next door if you need me." He leans down and places his lips on mine for a short kiss. It actually embarrasses me because Father Andrews is watching. Moon taps me under the chin in understanding because of the heat traveling up my neck and
With revenge motivating me, dealing with what happened was easier. The need for blood became a driving force that allowed me to put my thoughts and feelings on hold. Now my feelings, doubt, and shame overshadow everything. My mind is a dark hole with a smoky mist that Moon stands in to beckon me out. His hand is there. I can almost touch it, but my fingers slide away, a millimeter short, and the darkness covers me once more.Sleep is the worst. Nightmares make me toss and turn throughout the night. Most center around blood on my hands. They drip the red, congealed mess onto everything I touch and when I open my eyes it's still there. Or so the dream goes.I find it strange that I don't dream about what Fernandez did to me. It's his laughter, though, that wakes me night after night. Moon is always there to comfort me during those horrible hours. He pulls me close to his body when I give the slightest gasp. I breathe in his scent and fill my lungs with his strength. Until I fall asleep a
Part of my heart-stopping fury recedes when I pull Madison back into my arms. Her entire body is shaking and she's still clutching the knife I handed her. Alex takes it from her hand after I scoop her into my arms and cradle her against my chest. I breathe in the scent of her hair and try to gain more control.This woman is everything. She's the reason I wake up in the morning. Everything I hold dear is wrapped up in her. Cori meets my eyes and she tips her head in acknowledgement. When she turns away, Duke is standing behind her. He pulls her into his arms and walks her toward the front room. He stops when Goose is dragged closer by one of Dax's men and places himself between Cori and Duke. Duke casually pulls his gun and fires, striking him between the eyes. Goose blankly stares at the ceiling by the time the sound of the gunshot fades from the room. Cori spits on Goose's body before Duke leads her forward. Alex gives orders to clean up the bloody mess."Please take me home," Madison
She steps forward and Fernandez spins and tries throwing a punch at my head but misses. He moves quickly even with a bullet through the foot and gets between Cori and Sofia's rifle. Melina takes the opportunity to bring her gun down on the back of his head. He stumbles and I kick the tibial pressure point in his good leg. He drops and I kick Celina's gun away from him. She grabs it and aims it at him as he wiggles around like a flopping fish. I hand Melina my gun and slam down into his back with my cuffs primed. I practically pull his arms from their sockets in order to secure his hands behind his back while he's stunned."Help me get him up on the kitchen island and I'll cut off his fucking clothes." We drag him back to the kitchen minus Celina who stays at her post, which is the front door. He struggles but it's not enough for four women on a mission.The sick feeling in my stomach stays and I turn slightly and rub tears from my eyes. Not a minute has gone by that I haven't thought a
We park a half mile from the home. Melina and I run up the street, carrying the post driver between us because it's so damn heavy, and check out the property. Like the house he kept me and Cori in, this one is away from other homes and on a nice sized piece of property. The desert foliage on the north side of the area gives us a good vantage point to see the back door. I call Celina."Send Cori north to our location. The front door is on the south side of the house and you'll have about twenty-five yards from the truck to the door. Sofia will be your driver and leave as soon as you're inside. She'll park and meet us. We'll come through the back five minutes after you enter." We covered all of this in the car, but it helps me to go over the plan out loud again. "Give Cori ten minutes to get in place before Sofia drops you off.""Cori just took off. We're set," Celina says before ending the call.After Cori meets us, we stay low and wait for Sofia to text me that Celina is in the house.
Alex brings the car to the front. Austin jumps into the back and I take the passenger seat. I told the men to put Gabriella in our safe room until everything settles. She can cuss them out in Spanish, I don't have time. Sirens can be heard in the distance and we need to be completely clear of the house before they hit the street that leads to my private road.I've also notified additional men to meet us at the warehouse. As soon as we have Fernandez's location, we'll be moving out quickly. It suddenly occurs to me that Dax is totally out of the loop, so I dial his cell."You're fucking kidding me," he practically yells when I tell him his wife ran over a man and picked up the women. "I'm on my way." Another call comes in and I look at the display. It's Caleb."Start heading here with reinforcements," I tell Dax quickly. "I'll call as soon as we have a location. It won't be long."The man in the trunk is moaning loudly. There are metal plates over the taillights and nothing he can do to
Madison is up to something. The strange feeling persisted while she dressed and then at breakfast. Sending her off to the service without me was nearly impossible. The fact is, I need to get my head out of my ass and take care of Fernandez once and for all. The thought of him taking Madison again is eating me alive.While she's at EE, I can focus on what it takes to keep everyone safe. The Frontera Cartel is out of the picture and now we can focus on one man. I have everyone but our outside security in the conference room. Austin joins us too."How do we bring him out in the open without risking one of our women as bait?" I ask the men. It didn't matter how much Madison complained, there was no way I would give into her plan.I've never reached my current level of frustration as we debate the best scenarios. Alex hasn't said a word since entering the meeting, which surprises me. When I look at him, his eyes are on the door leading to the hallway."What has you worried?" I ask him when
The women with Celina give whoops and atta-girl shouts. I can't help smiling. "We'll be another thirty minutes. There's a building supply store not far from you and I need you to pick up two metal fence post drivers." I never worked Cave Creek as a cop, but one of the officers lived there and loved having barbeques, so I'm familiar with the area."We're on it. Meet us in the parking lot."I disconnect the call and decide to join Cori in the front. I wiggle between the seats and then lean back and exhale after I attach my seatbelt. "I'm worried Moon could beat us there."Cori puts her foot on the gas and shoots forward on the freeway. The 51 is one of the lighter trafficked freeways if you're not driving it during rush hour and we're pushing the witching hour. It's the most direct route from central Phoenix to the north valley and we're in luck because it's wide open. If that luck continues, highway patrol won't have units in the vicinity.We make it to the building supply store in twen