Dr. Snape says it has a connection to the trauma and other hideous words she uses. After surviving the accident, in which my parents died, I barely have a peaceful night. I keep having nightmares, and in addition to that, I started having this crazy dream. Right now I can only come up with one explanation.I must be going nuts.Feeling drained, I slowly abandon the bed and walk towards the window. I think I need some fresh air, no matter how cold it may be. I just wrap myself with a blanket for precaution, for I don't want to imagine how the winter treats the folks around here. And finally I step into the balcony.The Montana night coos me gently as the shining moon and stars relax in harmony, my eyes sticking into their hypnotic beauty. I smile optimistically at the sound of wilderness from the tall trees streaming around this back yard. Sighing, I hug the blanket tightly, staring at the sky above.Why can't I be up there? I sometimes feel this way, tired of li
I begin suffering from the idleness soon after breakfast. Sam and Liam are talking about business and other uninteresting stuff for my taste. I need something spontaneous; sitting on the porch isn't for me."I'm not trying to sell you off, Liam; I'm simply stating the facts. They even offer stock options in such cases," Sam keeps rumbling, and he listens attentively.Just pretend you're busy, girl. Or at least go and find a book to read. You know nothing about business! I hear my nosy subconscious snorting, and I nearly roll my eyes. Yeah, so what? Must we all know about Debts and Equities? I snort back."Well, I suppose we shall see how things work. I'm sorry to drag you into this boring conversation, I know you're here to relax," Liam says while taking a cup of coffee to his mouth, soon after placing the newspaper on the table."Don't worry," says Sam, flushing scarlet in her cheeks. "It's just a small talk. It's not like I'm typing the report or something."
He's stares at me intently that I wonder if I appreciate those charming orbs hooded by long lashes fixing me like the last cake in the display. He has nice features; a clean shaved face, a flawless skin, his hair thick and black."Hi. I'm Kira," I tell him softly, not knowing what else to do in this kind of situation. Swooned? No, I'm not! I immediately shut my nosy subconscious who's about to spill her nonsense."Kira?" Malik mutters thoughtfully. "Beautiful name. What does it mean?" he asks, which takes me a little by surprise. This is a first."Means the throne, mistress or the ruler. Let's say . . . same as queen, in Russian," I prompt, and he lifts an amused eyebrow."The queen of my heart," he says gallantry, a hand on his chest as he makes aslight bow. I squint my eyes. "I think I've finally found one." He now laughs loudly.Oh boy! I end up laughing along. I think he's . . . someone you can't stop smiling being around with. I hope he's not a jer
The sun grazes my bronze skin warmly, doing away the slight cold that's been enveloping me for a while. Walking around, I end up near the sturdy, old-looking barn. Everything's so peaceful at the moment and much to my surprise, I'm welcomed by two beautiful horses grazing inside the railing fence groining the barn.How I love horses. I grin ridiculously.Smiling, I grab my old vintage canon and click a few pictures. The horses are both brown, except one has a white patch on the back and neck. I saunter along the fence, nearing them, slowly, as though afraid to startle them. Now this is what I call having fun."Hi, there." I lean over the fence, drinking in the horse smell that I'm so new at; it put me at ease nevertheless. An infantile giggle escapes my mouth as he responds with a neigh. Wait, is it a he or she? "Well, let's pretend you're a boy," I mutter, proceeding with endeavor; patting is smooth hair with delight."Excuse me," a boy's voice snaps, startling
He's holding the reins in a way that makes my heart flutter. I'm sure any woman would be. And it's as if I'm seeing the Mr. Darcy of Pemberley; Pride and Prejudice. No, what I need is to immediately snap out of this stupidity, because I'm living a real life and not some movie or classic romance novel."You never cease to amaze me, Ms. Jones." Liam dismounts the horse in a swift move, quite naturally. It's fascinating. "You're something else, I must confess. Aren't you afraid to be here on your own?"Not really. This place may be much safer than humans, my subconscious answers boldly as I gaze up at Liam. He's now staring directly at me, standing on the same position near his horse."What are you doing here?" I ask, ignoring his question. In return, he does exactly the same, neglecting my query by marching closer. Gosh! "I'm asking you, Mr. Darcy, why did you follow me here?" I repeat, sternly this time."I came to check if you are okay. Your friend is worried,"
I feel Liam's sculptured abs beneath his shirt as we bounce up and down in rhythm, following the horse's move. My breath stills when I leaning towards his sturdy, wide back, searching for my balance. To my sweet dismay, his muscles tense, responding to my touch.Oh boy! I draw back stoutly."If you continue like that, you're surely going to fall down." Liam's voice startles me, and his words almost come true when the horse speeds up.Shit! I tighten my grip, bumping up, then down, in turns . . . a rough, exciting pace."Like this?" I ask, stifling a laugh."Whatever fits you, Ms. Jones," Liam replies, his voice laced with . . . concerns? I can hardly tell, for his emotions are well guarded. "I'm only concerned about your safety; don't find it such a burden,” he adds gently.What an assurance! I sigh softly."I hope you can breathe," I utter against his back, almost, because it feels like I'm buckling him a bit too hard."Why?" He huffs a small la
A second goes by and to my surprise, everyone burst out laughing. Everyone including Peter who's like Liam's clone when it comes to playing cold. I don't think I understand what's so funny about it, but I'm glad I'm not being reprimanded for my crazy actions."I swear I like her," Malik utters simply."Oh, Kira, seems like the ranch life agrees quite well with you," Eleanor says, still laughing. "Just go in and take a shower, dear.""Oh, okay," I answer and start moving."Let me go with you," Sam offers to accompany me inside.I barely enter my room, and she already starts bombarding me with questions about how it all happened and stuff."I just walked until I reached the river.”"And you just couldn't resist swimming, could you?" she mutters while lying on the bed, holding my camera."Well, it was nothing.” My voice is heedless."Hey, do you have any idea who Malik is?" she snaps abruptly."No, do I have to?" I reply while undressing.
The rest of the evening goes smoothly. Seated on the adjoined bench to my bed, with my diary on the lap, I decide to put a few things off my head by scribbling down. It's been the best therapy whenever I can't talk to anyone about something.Apparently I have plenty of unspoken words that I'd love to let out. Thinking of the few hours that I've been here, my mind gets jagged with enormous feeling of anxiety over something in the immediate future.Hence I begin:Dear God,All I hoped for was a nice and relaxing vacation, which has been the case by far. I appreciate everything I've seen here and our hosts have been very kind to us that I'm afraid I may get too much attached. I like Mrs. Eleanor a lot, if I were to have another mother in this lifetime; I wish she would be just like her. I dare say that all is well, except for one thing . . .I'm yawning audibly as I place the diary back to my suitcase. I better
Smiling faintly, I turn my back to hop into the taxi that's been waiting for ages. The driver is probably wondering why we're having a display of affection in the middle of the city, instead of wherever we came from.It's when Malik grabs my wrist suddenly, right before I grab the door handle.He steadfastly pulls me to his side, like he's forgotten something very important. I'm so startled as I land my hands on his chest, and find myself tightly against his body. He swallows nervously, his shiny eyes piercing into mine.I don't understand this attitude, until his lips land onto mine.I don't do a thing. I'm just too puzzled to react. He's kissing me, I know he is, but it's like I'm hypnotized with the shock or something. Everything ceases to exist, and I can't even feel my own heartbeat.What is this? What is Malik doing now? My two subs widen their eyes, utterly shocked.He suddenly frees me, and I look up at him
"What happened?" Malik eyes my suitcase with pure dismay."She knows," I sob, wiping my tears. "She's found out already."Malik says nothing. Slowly he pulls me into his arms and I easily dissolve in his embrace. My hiccups take the best of me like a child, my chin on his shoulder. I feellost and empty. I just cry . . . and he rubs my back gently, no word coming from his mouth. I still can’t believe the worst has happened."I'm sorry for this." I finally tug out and manage to smile while picking my bags, ready to face the aftermath; my scary unknown after ruining everything."It's okay," Malik tells me softly, smile forced and rueful. "You're still leaving?" He sounds indisposed."Yeah, I can't stay here anymore." I lift my eyes to meet his, a bittersweet laughter escaping my lips at this mess I'm in. "I don't want to be here, Malik. I don't have any right to be here." Tears fall down yet again, blurring my vision
"I can't believe this! So you're trying to excuse yourself by pretending that you had no choice?" Sam is gravely amused."No, I'm not making any excuses! The last thing I wanted in my life was hurting you, and you know that perfectly well.""No, I don't think I know." She shakes her head in denial. "And you've succeeded to hurt me, just so you know, Kira. And I'll never forgive you for this.""Sam," I breathe, "I'll understand if you decide to do so. But truly, I'm really sorry.""With that face of yours, everyone thinks you're a saint," Sam snarls with a fine deliberate to hurt me, which works perfectly. "The nice one." She twirls around me. "The good one . . . Always the loved one." Now she stops moving."Sam, that's not true." I wipe off the fallen drop."And of course I'm the bad one, right? So tell me, Kira, how did you seduce him?" she mockingly asks. "How were his kisses like?" she adds, and I swallow the anger t
"You're finally back," Sam utters casually, her eyes stone cold. Seeing my astonished face upon the sight of the diary, she lifts it up, smirking."Did you read my diary?" I manage to ask with much difficulty, as though a fishbone is stuck to my throat."Oh . . . tthis? I didn't mean to read it," she says coolly."What?" I scoff angrily. "That's my fucking diary!" My body trembles, fear and worries engulfing me wholly."I only wanted to return your charger, and by pure coincidence, your lovely diary dropped and flipped." She smiles, a very bitter smile, and I'm stuck to my feet. "Why, Kira? Why this?" she asks me in a soft voice while getting closer.I press my lips together to repress whatever that's about to burst in me. My worst nightmare is here. I'm not sure which one is scary, between my dreams at night or this foreign situation that I've brought upon myself.What should I say now? That I'm sorry? That I can expla
I return to where I parked the car. I can't say I've had my fill, but I've quite enjoyed this Ocean drive neighborhood. Well, eventually I realized where I am during my promenading. I even had a pleasure to relax and grab a big bite of cheeseburger so cheer myself.And I usually eat a lot when I'm stressed.I'm about to hop in the car when the incoming call on my cellphone stops me halfway. I slam the door sharply before rummaging inside my bag. I clutch my phone and a hard scowl appears on my face when I find it's a new number. I swipe the receiver hesitantly."Hello?" I croak."Where are you? We need to talk.” A male voice snaps quickly, causing a shiver throughout my skin.And I could recognize this voice even in my deep sleep.”Liam,” I breathe softly."It's good that you know my voice by heart," Liam remarks. "Where are you, Kira?" he practically snaps at me again."Liam, please, no
They tried talking to me, the girls, the boys, but none succeeded to open my mouth. The world had lost its colors in my eyes, but some brunette kid named Samantha didn't give up. She tried until I opened my mouth."It hurts," I utter, tears streaming down. "That's what I said." I lift my eyes at Sam. "Why are you reminding me?""Nothing," Sam says softly. "I just want to say that you're the person I love and trust the most in my life. I know you'd never hurt or betray me, because you're my bestfriend. I want to be that person to you too, Kira. I know I can be bitchy . . . but I never intend to hurt you. If I did, by any chance, please forgive me." She sits next to me, and my heart shatters.Guilt. Pain. Loss. I feel them all at once."No, you haven't done anything to apologize for," I breathe and I know I'm the one who should apologize to her.But I don't have the guts to."Did Jay do anything to offend y
"Are you deaf? I said let go of her.” Liam’s voice isn't harsh, but the threatening vibes it exudes is quite alarming."Easy there, bro." Jeremy releases me from his grip. "We're just talking,” he says and my eyes are on my wrist, faint finger marks accented on the skin."Don't call me bro, kid!" Liam snaps, his fists clenched as he glares at Jeremy with blazing eyes while pacing closer. "Are you okay, Kira?" He glances at me . . . at my wrist, too, and I nod like a little girl would.His jaw ticks. He pulls me to his side and I'm worried whether he has heard the rest of our conversation or not. I hope he hasn't. He then glares back at Jeremy, eyes dark."She told you to leave her alone, didn't she? Why were you forcing your hands on her?" He places himself between Jeremy and I, making me stay behind him. He’s tense.Jeremy roams around, like a tamed dog, holding his head and waist with either hand. I know he usually acts macho and a
Once again Malik restores back my sweetest smile. Only he can influence good even in bad times, and I'm so grateful for his being supportive: at least I've got someone to share this ordeal with. Jamal and Natasha join us shortly, and I believe I'm more relaxed with them than my previous companion."And my job here lads and ladies . . . is done!" Jamal announces cheerily, and from a distance I see the others enjoying the self-service."You're the best barbeque maker, I swear." I give compliment when due.I can't explain how tender and juicy this meat tastes inside my mouth."I know, right? My boo is the best." Natasha kisses him.Malik and I share a smile."I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, Kira," Jamal says, his voice calm and reverent."Oh you got that right." I thumb up. "And I seriously need the recipe for this vegetable noodles," I tell Natasha and she promises to give it to me anytime.
Liam is now out of sight and I’m only thinking of him. I wonder what he is doing right now. Malik, Jamal, and Natasha are still around the grill, chatting over something humorous judging from their laughter.I have been oblivious of whatever Sam and her friends are hilariously discussing about, and only drop a comment when necessary. Sickly enough, Jeremy has been eyeing me and it’s uncomfortable."This house is so damn terrific," Veronica utters, her eyes batting around like butterflies. "Who's the owner?" she inquires while her boyfriend stares around snobbishly.Sam gives them a clear picture of the owner by pointing out at Malik's direction. She tells them more than asked when Veronica swears to have seen Malik before. Discretion is never in my friend’s dictionary."And are you the one riding his dick?" Jeremy asks Sam, and the two ladies laugh as though it was something beautiful to say . . . or hear.So disgusting.