The rest of Thanksgiving break flies by and I'm back on campus. My homework has all been turned in and I somehow might manage to pass all my classes. I figure if I really sucked this semester, I can just drop out and try again online or enroll somewhere else for the following fall. It's amazing to me that the fall semester is almost over. In that time too much has happened, and my emotions are haywire.Evie and I play catch up upon my return. Her parents are getting a divorce, and her Thanksgiving was a shit show. Benjamin was her saving grace, and I'm glad he could be there for her when I couldn't be. If it weren't for Benjamin, Evie wouldn't have had anywhere to celebrate Thanksgiving. Even my own family didn't really do anything for Thanksgiving. My mom made frozen pizza and played the New York Thanksgiving day parade on her television.When you're a kid holidays are magical and the people who gather to celebrate them make the magic come alive. But as an adult I'm starting to see t
A small box sits in my side table drawer. From time to time I open the drawer and think maybe I was a fool or letting myself fall for a student. Even one so similar to Stacey. Their resemblance is uncanny at times. My love for Cora is still with me, with every inhale the sigh of my failure leaves my body when I exhale.My brother, Isaac told me to let her go. It's easier said than done. My brother's always had life easier than me. The woman he met in college is still breathing and giving him heirs. But my life has been one disaster after a curve ball, like the rinse and repeat one finds on shampoo bottles.My brother has the perfect life. I on the other hand, inherited bad luck from our father, William Oakley. My father was attached to has first wife too, but like my Stacey, she too died before her time. Her death was due to a grizzly bear attack in Yellow Stone National Park. My father doesn't like to talk about it much can't say I'd blame him. I don't like talking about Stacey's dea
Dante pulls a chair up to me. His eyes tell a story of jealous, hurt, and anger. I hand him a cup of coffee and prepare to listen to whatever story he wishes to tell. Some stories are important to listen to and if I want to not get fired I had better listen this time. I suspect that no matter what happens I will not be teaching at Nordstrom University for very long. If Dante knows about Cora and I, and what transpired between us before the break up, then my job has already been on egg shells from the beginning. I always knew this would be the case.There was always the possibility of this relationship ruining me. It was always a likelihood. I knew it right from the start, but I kissed her anyway. I could have been fired and yet I loved her anyway. I love her still. I love her as Cora Worthington and not as Stacey Oakley. I always knew she compared herself to Stacey, but I ignored it for the most part. Perhaps I shouldn't have done that to her. Perhaps I shouldn't have let our paths
After delaying Dante for as long as I can, my time to decide is upon me. It's not an easy place to be in. Do I try to be with Dante or do I confess and get kicked out of the university? I was never college material to begin with. My mother paid for tutoring all way through high school. She can deny it all she wants but I'm convinced I have a learning disability of some kind. It took me years to learn how to read and I confuse letters sometimes. Mother never got me tested for anything. I can't hold a bad decision against mom, but it didn't make studying any easier.If I were college material perhaps I would be sad at the prospect of possibly being kicked out. But right now I don't care. The pressure to study and memorize is just daunting to me. Writing papers makes my anxiety high. I think I would be better suited to something else, but what that is I'm not sure. I just want to go home and become a barista for a year or two. Having a gap year or two might have been a better choice for
The meeting with President McIntyre has ended. He listened intently to Cora's stories about Dante."Is that everything then? Is there any more you both would like to share? It is a lot of information to take in, I can assure you of that. As for both of you, Cora I accept your transfer to another university after this semester. And Blake, as for you I think your resignation is for the best. Please start packing your office immediately, and I will personally teach your remaining classes for the remainder of the year. Give me any and all lesson plans you may have. If you have a final exam written please email it to me, even if it's a rough draft. Never in my forty-two years of teaching have I experienced anything like this. Of all the shenanigans, of all the scandals, this is probably the cherry on top of my academic career. You will never teach again Blake Oakley. I can assure you of that, and as for you Cora. I will see to it personally that this Dante character is dealt with. I can as
Walking away from Cora isn't exactly what I wanted. But it's necessary if I am to ever move on from here. Nordstrom University is my low point, following the death of my Stacey."You bastard. You bloody coward. Cora did everything for you and you turned her back on her. You rat bastard. She was going to fuck someone else to save your job. She came clean because I found out about Dante. And you turn her down now. Now after President McIntyre knows. What has gotten into you?" Isaac asks as he helps me clean up my office."I knew you'd say something like that. I don't expect you to understand. You have the perfect life. I'm a mess." I start placing my photos and memories of Stacey that are hidden in my office closet into the boxes that President McIntyre had sent up for me."You don't know what you're talking about," Isaac says."Sure, I do. You have the perfect family and a loyal wife. She's alive. She's breathing."Isaac takes a large cardboard box and slams it down on my desk."No, s
Packing my belongings is hard. Although, President McIntyre has given me his permission to live on campus through finals week, I prefer to commute regardless of the long drive. I haven't told Evie about Blake and our double date. Isaac sprung that on him, and he truly didn't seem interested in pursuing us. My hopes of having what we once had together has diminished. I'm the reminder of the biggest mistake of his life.He made it known that I'm a reminder of his downfall. His career ending falls on my lips and ends at my feet. His biggest regret is bumping into me that first day, when all his papers went flying. I didn't know it then, but it was the beginning of the end.My stomach aches and churns. I go to the bathroom and throw up. It's not like me to get sick. When I'm ill it's usually colds and migraines. Stomach illnesses are for other people who don't wash their hands prior to eating. Perhaps the emotional roller coaster I'm facing has triggered the vomit response within me. It's
A week goes by, finals have come and gone. That little place on campus where Professor Oakley once had an office is now empty. The professor he filled in for has agreed to return. Finals week was hard to get through and everyone found out of course.The double date got cancelled. Isaac texts me from time to time to see if I'm alright. Little does he know that we really are going to be family soon. He will be the uncle of the child inside me. He's been like a big brother to me for awhile now, and I'm happy to say it has been most comforting.The two pink lines have been terrifying and I haven't had the courage to tell my mom about it. She'd be happy and disappointed. I know she wouldn't turn me away. I'm her only family. Everyone in my family has left or died. We only have each other for every holiday. A baby would brighten her world and I know she'd be a wonderful grandma.My car is still full of my university boxes and suitcases. I've been too lazy to lift them and too concerned the