4. Firsts

I approached Alec, who stood like a sentinel by the chaotic mound of my hastily shed clothes. Seeing him so close to my personal belongings sent a wave of unease coursing through me. "Please, don't touch my stuff," I implored as I plucked my underwear from his hand. "I’ve respected your space. It's only fair you respect mine, okay?" There was a plea hidden beneath the surface of my words, a silent call for some semblance of privacy in this new, intrusive environment. 

If he didn't respect my personal space, I wouldn't be able to stay here for long.

He mumbled a half-hearted apology before retreating to his bed. He fell back onto it with a thud, the mattress creaking under his weight.

 I pulled out my phone and showed him a picture of Riley. "This is my girlfriend back home," I explained, purposely looking a little gushy over her as I showed him. "She gave me these, told me to keep something to remind me of her. You know how it is." 

He chuckled and said, "Alright, man," then rolled over to face the wall. 

Climbing up to the top bunk, the metal frame groaning under my weight, I lay there, staring at the ceiling. The events of the day replayed in my mind, each moment more daunting than the last. 

Was it really just the first day, and had it already been this challenging? A sense of foreboding settled in my chest, a tight knot of anxiety about my future in this place. 

A feeling only exacerbated by the binder that I was now forced to wear all the time. Even to bed since I had a roommate. 

Waking up in my dorm room, I noticed Alec's bed was already made, its sheets neatly tucked, yet another testament to his disciplined nature. He was nowhere to be seen, having started his day much earlier than I had, apparently. I had to get better at this if I was going to fit in. 

I got dressed quickly, making sure to pick the most oversized shirt I had. After rechecking my phone, I was relieved to see no bars still. I darted to the dining hall for my first breakfast at Ironcrest Academy. 

My first venture into the dining hall was an overwhelming sensory overload. The room was buzzing with the energy of countless teenagers, their body odor mingling uncomfortably with the aroma of breakfast foods. Boys jostled and shoved each other, their manners crude and almost primal, creating an atmosphere that felt barely controlled and distinctly hostile. 

Something I was starting to realize was just the norm at IronCrest.

Amid the chaos, I spotted Alec conversing with the towering figure I had seen in the shower, the one with the striking bear tattoo. He dwarfed even Alec in height, his presence commanding and unmistakable in the bustling hall.

No sooner had I sat down with my tray than the ringleader from yesterday's bathroom incident was in my face, his demeanor dripping with the threat. "This is my table, baby boy," he sneered, his eyes cold and challenging. "Freshmen, wait their turn. The newbie needs a tough lesson in the pecking order here."

I managed to swallow a bite of food, my voice steady despite my racing heart. "Well, it's a good thing I'm a sophomore then," I retorted.

He smirked as he stepped back and sized me up. "With that scrawny ass physique, you look more like a wimpy preteen at best. Let me guess, you're the new transfer everyone is whispering about, huh?" His tone was dripping with disdain.

Nodding, I braced myself for his response. He leaned in closer. "Well, well, that means you are smart then. The smart move would be to forget what you saw yesterday, baby boy."

"I know what I saw," I replied, my voice unwavering as I looked up at him.

His surprise at my defiance was brief, quickly replaced by a twisted smile. "You know, you should show off that face more, green eyes and all. Prettiest boy I've seen around here, that's for sure. If you're into that, you could have some fun here."

"I'm good," I replied without looking away. 

His threat was thinly veiled. "Well, in spirit of that, remember, newbies still gotta fall in line. Learn your place. Or I'll be the one to make sure you do. However I decide you'll...take the punishment best."

Before I could respond, a guy I hadn't met before sat beside me. "Why's everyone so keen on playing teacher around here, huh?" His tone was sassy, his demeanor unapologetically gay, challenging the bully's authority. The ringleader rolled his eyes, turned on his heel, and walked away. "This isn't over, pissant," he called over his shoulder.

As he vanished from view, the guy turned to me with a smile. "I'm Julien," he introduced himself. He gave a slight shrug, and strangely, an apology for the unpleasant encounter he broke up. "Sorry about Cam, he's just your run of the mill asshole. Don't let that jerk push you around. If you give him an inch, he'll take a mile," he advised.

 Clearing my throat to ensure my voice sounded sufficiently deep, I responded, "Yeah, sorry about that. I'm James."

Before long, Adrien joined us with the hot bear tattoo guy in tow. Adrien chuckled and gestured towards the silent figure next to him. "Oh, this is Nick."

Nick nodded at me, his smile friendly yet oddly reserved. He was different. Intimidating but really intriguing at the same time. His silence left me wondering - was he mute, perhaps foreign and still grappling with English? 

Alec appeared, accompanied by another guy who looked strikingly similar. As they sat down, I realized with a start - they were twins. Identical twins. 

The twin, whom I didn't think I had met yet, said playfully, "Yeah, so that was me with your luggage yesterday, not Alec. I’m Kris." 

I stared at them, astonished. "That was you, not uhh, him?" Suddenly, everything makes so much more sense!" I exclaimed. Things started falling into place as I looked back and forth between them, prompting laughter from everyone at the table.

Julien chimed in, "Don't worry, James, you'll get the hang of telling them apart pretty soon. Hell, seems like you may already have."

Quietly observing, Nick sat up suddenly and said, "Accent?" His question, though brief, was loaded with curiosity. Clearly, he wasn't mute, just a man of few words.

"Yeah, I'm from Texas," I replied, grinning at him. He leaned back in his seat, uttering a thoughtful "hmm" but said nothing more.

As we chatted, Julien inquired, "Did you go to a co-ed public school before?" I nodded.

"So, girls were around, huh? What was it like? You'd have to be crazy to give that up," he mused.

Alec, who had been silent, suddenly spoke up. "Actually, James has a girlfriend."

 I froze, the memory of the underwear incident flashing in my mind. I forced a nod, barely getting out the words, "Yeah, I have a girlfriend."

Kris leaned forward. "So, what base have you guys got to?" Confused by their terminology for a second, I blushed deeply, realizing the implication when I noticed how all of them were looking at me.

 Flustered, I lied, "Just, you know, kissing and such. Nothing more... yet." 

Their laughter filled the air, teasingly calling me 'still a boy,' their camaraderie light-hearted yet filled with blatant mockery. I had to remember this is how males often bond. 

By torturing one another relentlessly.  

My first day of classes began with AP Chemistry. As I entered the room, I noticed most students had already paired up for the term's project. Scanning the room for lone students, the teacher spotted one in the back. "Peter is by himself," she announced. "You boys can be partners."

I made my way to the back of the class, my mind preoccupied. As I approached my assigned partner, my heart skipped a beat. It was the boy I had seen being bullied in the bathroom. The sight of him - the deep bruise covering half his face and his bloodshot eyes - brought back a rush of unsettling memories and feelings from yesterday.

Recognizing me, Peter greeted me with unexpected cheerfulness. "Ah, we meet again," he said, his voice bright despite his injuries. It was remarkable how he maintained a front of normalcy.

As we delved into the project, Peter casually mentioned, "So, you're the new chess prodigy? I dabble in chess myself. Not at your level, obviously, but I can manage."

I returned his smile, pleasantly surprised by his knowledge. "Oh, you heard about that, huh?"

Peter nodded. "They said you were last year's top division chess champion for the southern division. But I recall the champion being a girl."

His comment sent me into a brief panic. Scrambling for a response, I blurted out, "Yeah, well, we tied, so technically, we're both champions. But hey, let's keep it between us, alright? I'd rather not have people know I share the title with a girl."

His smile widened. "Your secret's safe with me."