- LOUISA -I've never seen Ward like this. Not at Huntington Manor. Not even when I was punched. He's perfectly still.And then all of a sudden his hand darts out. He grabs the magazine off of the rack. Tears through the pages.They didn't even bother to come up with a different title for the accompanying article. They just repeat the same, cold phrase across the top of the page.Edward Carolson: Dead at 58.I know that headline. I saw something similar on dozens of publications when my father died. On a hundred websites. It's always the same: blunt and sensational at the same time. Like the people who appear in these magazines are fictional characters, and every event of their life is just one more scene in that massive soap opera. Like they don't leave behind real people who have to see reminders of their loved ones wherever they turn.Ward's hands are shaking. He's still holding the magazine open, but the pages are fluttering. I don't think he can even read the article.I'm s
- LOUISA -"I'm thinking of going to the funeral," he says the following morning.We're sitting on the bed, munching on tiny boxes of cereal - a.k.a. the motel's "complimentary breakfast" - and pretending to pay attention to the morning show flashing on the television. Those are the first words either of us have said in the last hour.Everything feels so strange between us now. Something has shifted between us, opened up - but while part of me welcomes this new sense of vulnerability, there's an awkwardness between us that wasn't there before. We've both stripped ourselves bare, and now we don't seem to know what to do.I grab some cereal with my fingers and shove it into my mouth. I haven't even thought about Carolson's funeral, but it doesn't surprise me that Ward wants to go."I have to figure out where it is and how I'll get there," he says. "But I shouldn't be gone more than a couple of - ""If you're going, I'm going," I tell him.He blinks at me, looking shocked. Does he
- LOUISA -St. Augustine's Church is enormous. It's beautiful, yes, but in a cold, regal way, which seems fitting for our current circumstances. I wrap my arms around myself as I look up at the massive stone face. Beside me, Ward is quiet and still.I reach out and take his hand. He grips my fingers. We stand across the street from the church, watching from the doorway of a small bistro. There's a crowd around the steps, and it's not just funeral attendees. There are a number of people with cameras and at least three news crews - their vans are in a line just down the street - plus a bunch of casual bystanders who have gathered to gawk at the commotion. As we watch, a black limousine pulls up to the curb. The reporters all crowd around the sidewalk, their microphones and digital recorders outstretched as the door slides open."Mrs. Carolson!" some cry."Laura!" say others.They elbow each other as they try to get closer to their target.But instead of Laura Carolson, Edward's wid
- LOUISA -I notice quite a few things in those first couple of seconds.First, that my dress is still bunched up around my waist and Ward's pants are still around his ankles.Second, that the person on the other side of the gate looks rather comfortable - and he's partly hidden, which means he's probably been there for several minutes, if not longer.Third, there's something familiar about him. I'm not sure whether it's his hair, or the set of his shoulders, or...He moves his camera slightly, and my stomach sinks.It's Asher Julian.Asher Julian is the one who tried to blackmail me back at Huntington Manor. The one who first printed the story about Ward's connection to Edward Carolson only a week ago. He got his big break printing rumors about my brother and Lily. This guy owes his career to my family and the drama we've caused. I should have guessed he'd be here at Carolson's funeral. He's been chasing this story for weeks.And now he's caught us like this. Violated this per
- LOUISA -The thing that surprises me most about jail is how absolutely frigid it is.I've been here four hours and twenty-seven minutes. My fingers started to go numb about two hours and three minutes ago. I know because there's a clock hanging over the holding cell. It looks ancient. In fact, it reminds me of the ones you see hanging on the walls of high schools in cheesy '80s movies.I wrap my arms around myself and shiver. They must make it this cold on purpose. Maybe it's an intimidation tactic. But as I glance around the other women sharing the holding cell with me, I suspect I might be the only one.The cop who put me in here said I was lucky. He said if I'd been arrested last night, or the night before, it would have been a lot more crowded in here. There are still almost a dozen women. About half of them appear to be sleeping. At least a couple smell like booze. One girl - who looks several years younger than me and has a bunch of tattoos and a nose ring - just looks bore
- LOUISA –Calder insists on putting me and Ward up in a hotel for the night. I hate the idea of taking charity from my brother, especially after everything he's already done today - and judging by Ward's expression, he feels the same way - but before I can say anything, Lily cuts me off."I'd love the chance to get to know you better, Louisa," she says, smiling.I remember the last time I talked to her. I was sneaking out of Calder's apartment in the middle of the night and she tried to stop me. My neck goes hot remembering some of the things I said to her.But Lily's obviously trying to play nice, to bridge this gap between us, and honestly, the only thing holding me back is pride. This is my chance to make things right.I look back up at Ward. His eyes are on me, and he gives me the smallest nod, leaving the decision to me. "Okay," I say.Which is how, less than an hour later, Ward and I find ourselves in an enormous room at the Royal Suites Hotel.After all the motels we've
BOOK SEVEN: THEIR WICKED WEDDING- LILY - In seven days, I will be Lily Cunningham.Even after everything we've been through together, even after nearly a year of engagement, it still seems unreal that Calder Cunningham and I will be getting married next Saturday. I've looked forward to this day for so long that I'm almost afraid to believe that it's nearly here. That I'll finally be his wife.I look down at my hand, at the engagement ring that still shines as brightly as it did the night Calder gave it to me in this very apartment. In seven days, I'll have a second ring on this finger, one that symbolizes the promise of a lifetime."Are you ready?" Calder says behind me.I turn to find him coming out of our bedroom, his suitcase in his hand. He's in a button-down and dark slacks - a casual look for him, but one that's still undeniably sexy - and his hair is still just the slightest bit damp from his shower. His dark eyes meet mine, and I feel that little thrill that always cour
- CALDER - Lily should know better than to tease me.It's clear by the end of our first night back at the estate that she means to have fun with this little "arrangement" of ours. It's all a game to her - the looks over dinner, the brush of her fingers against my leg beneath the table, the lilt in her voice when she says she thinks it's time for her to go back to "her" room. You'd think, though, that given our history, she'd know better than to challenge me. Or that she'd at least have the sense to recognize that she's woefully outmatched.Oh, she knows how to arouse my imagination - I'll give her that. By the time dinner is over and we're heading back upstairs, I've imagined myself taking her in a dozen different ways. Hell, my cock has been aching since this afternoon, when I had her writhing and panting beneath me on our dining table. Being back in this house only increases my hunger because it reminds me of how this all began. I'm tempted to suggest a game of Hide and Seek and
- CALDER -I wait until both Lily and the baby are asleep before I decide to sneak out. As much as I want to sit here with her in my arms forever, our conversation about her mother reminded me of a call I need to make.I look down at her before I leave. Her brown hair is in a messy bun on her head, and she doesn't have a stitch of makeup on, but I don't think I've ever seen her look so beautiful. I lean over and press a kiss against her forehead as I lift our sleeping son out of her arms.He's so tiny that I'm afraid I'll break him. But even though he was born a little early, the doctor told us he's perfectly healthy - and after hearing him scream this morning, I'm tempted to believe him. This little guy has quite a pair of lungs on him.I settle him gently in the bed the nurse wheeled in for him. I can see so much of Lily in him - and so much of myself. I knew I would love my son, but the intensity of my feelings is startling. When I think of how close I came to losing both of the
- LILY – Two Days LaterThey won't tell me what happened.I remember the pain. The screaming. The fear.I remember hearing the first, sweet cry from my son's throat.I remember the miracle of Calder's voice, the proof that he was alive.But after that, there's only darkness.I woke up yesterday morning in the hospital. Calder tells me they were able to get an air ambulance out to us at the estate, but he won't give me any more details than that about what happened two nights ago after he made it to the house. And there's a desperate, hollow look in his eyes when I ask, so I don't press him for details.Honestly? I'm not sure I want to know.And truthfully, it doesn't matter. Calder is alive. I'm alive. And our son is here. So much has happened in the past couple of days, and none of it feels real.I look down at the tiny little human in my arms. He's perfect. Even though he arrived a couple of weeks before his due date, he's still round and healthy. He emerged with a thick cro
- LOUISA -Just stay calm.Just stay calm.Just stay calm.It doesn't matter how many times I say it to myself - it gets harder with every passing second. I spend almost twenty minutes searching for my cell phone in the rain, but I can't find it anywhere. It's not in the car. It's not on the driveway. It's just gone. Finally, I force myself to give up the search and return to check on Lily - and I'm not a moment too soon.If I had any hope that we might make it through the night without this baby - after all, I was in labor for nineteen hours - it's fading fast. After five minutes at Lily's side, it's clear that her little one has no intention of waiting for help to arrive, and she seems to know it, too. Even if I thought I still had a chance of finding my cell phone, I can't leave Lily now.Both Ward and Calder are still out there somewhere. It's just me and Lily - and a whimpering Ramona, who's still clearly confused and terrified. I long to go over to my daughter, to pick her
- LOUISA -Lily's face has gone white."Calder?" she says into the phone, her voice cracking. "Calder! Calder, answer me!" Her hand visibly shakes as she pulls the phone away from her ear."What's going on?" I ask her, running over and shifting Ramona in my arms. I've just managed to get my little girl to stop crying. "What happened?"She doesn't answer. Instead she hits a couple of buttons on the screen, presumably calling him again. I glance over at Ward, but he looks just as shocked and confused as I feel.After a moment, Lily drops the phone, her eyes wide with horror."What happened?" I ask again, my stomach sinking further with every passing second. Something is wrong. Something is desperately wrong. Ramona starts to whimper in my arms."Lily," Ward says firmly. "You have to tell us what's happening."Lily glances up, blinking, as if she's suddenly remembered she's not alone."Something happened," she whispers. "Something happened to Calder."She's in shock, that much i
- CALDER -Lily is in labor. Lily is in labor.That thought drives out everything else - even the raw, gnawing feeling in my gut when I think about what Michelle has done - and suddenly nothing matters but getting to my wife.If I was a madman on the road before, it's nothing to how I drive now. I don't care about the rain or the traffic. I don't care if a cop chases me down for driving twice the speed limit. I'm getting to that hospital. Getting to my wife.I should have been there, I think. I should have been by her side when this started. But though the guilt eats away at me, I can't think about that now. I have one concern and one concern only - getting to her. Being with her as soon as humanly possible. Holding her hand as the pain comes. Even over the phone, I could hear the fear in her voice.I need to be with her.And if I have to kill myself to get to her, I will.. . . . .- WARD -Keep it together, man. They're counting on you.I hate that I have to remind myself o
- LOUISA -It might be storming outside, but I'm determined to make today a little brighter."I have a surprise for you," I tell Ward.It took me half an hour to find him after I put Ramona down for her afternoon nap. Even though I've insisted that he take a break from his restoration projects, Ward has continued to work, and I find him retouching the paint in a bedroom in the eastern wing. He's currently perched on a ladder with a paintbrush in his hand.When he grins down at me, I know he couldn't be happier to see me."What sort of surprise?" he asks, and his expression makes my heart skip a beat. He climbs down the ladder and stands in front of me.I drink him in as he wipes the back of his hand across his forehead. His T-shirt has streaks of paint on it, and there's a new hole in his jeans, but somehow all of it works together to make him look irresistibly yummy. Something wells up inside of me as I admire him - and the way he's looking at me right now brings the blood rushi
- CALDER -Less than two hours later, Michelle and I are in Barberville and I've got her set up at a modest little extended stay hotel just outside of downtown. I've prepaid for a two-week stay, and after that, I'll reassess the situation and figure out the best course of action. Michelle told Lily that she was looking for a job in the area, but since learning the truth about her health, I'm not sure whether that was an empty claim or not. Either way, though, now is not the time to be making any rash decisions. Lily comes first. We'll deal with Michelle after the baby is here.I'm getting ready to leave when a thought occurs to me."Lily will have lots of questions when she learns the truth. And she'll want you to start treatment as soon as possible."She starts to protest. "I still don't think I want treatment - ""At the very least, will you go talk to a doctor here in town? Explore your options? I'll pay for your visit, of course."She hesitates, then nods. "All right."I tur
- LOUISA -I'm in the office on the south side of the house, working out some of the final details of my surprise honeymoon trip for Ward, when Calder stalks into the room."Good morning," I say - though you'd hardly know it was morning, considering how overcast it is outside today. When I glance up and see his face, my fingers freeze on the computer keyboard. "What's wrong? Is it Lily?"We had a bit of a scare yesterday, what with Lily getting rushed to the hospital. She'll be on bed rest for the duration of her term, but both mother and baby are healthy - or so I thought. Calder looks like he's hardly slept. There are dark circles under his eyes, and he seems agitated."We need to figure out what Lily's mother wants," Calder says, jerking a hand through his hair. "It's that woman's fault that Lily is in this state."I lean back in my chair and glance over at Ramona. She's in her playpen over by the window, and she's pulled herself up onto her feet so that she can watch her uncle
- CALDER -That was too close.My jaw hurts from clenching. My mind won't slow down. I've been pacing the same spot on the floor for so long that I'm surprised I haven't worn a hole into the boards.It was only a false alarm, I remind myself. Lily is fine - for now - and the doctor said she was only having Braxton-Hicks contractions, probably made worse by stress. But even though she's now safe in our bed, I still can't seem to make myself calm down. When it comes time for the real thing... I don't even want to think about it."There's no need to be so worked up," Lily tells me. "Everything is fine. Come to bed.""Everything is not all right," I say. "Your mother upset you so much that you - ""It was my dad's fault, too," she says. "And it was a false alarm. I'm all right. No harm done.""Maybe not this time, but I'm not willing to take that chance again." I resume my pacing. "That woman needs to go.""I agree," she says. "And she's already looking for a place. But in the mean