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Chapter 47
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His Wicked Games series Chapter 48
- LOUISA -The next morning, I feel like there are a hundred tiny little men trying to break out of my skull with pickaxes.I didn't sleep at all the previous night. I spent a while pacing back and forth until my legs started to shake, and then I curled up by the window and pressed my cheek against the glass, staring out across the estate until the sky brightened with the light of pre-dawn.I'm currently on my fourth coffee. I was able to finish my last few tasks in the gift shop before Ward showed up, and I'm more grateful for that than I want to admit. I don't want to know how I would have responded if he'd made me another offer to continue our, ahem, acquaintance.As usual, Mr. Haymore's running around like a chicken with his head cut off. Edward Carolson and his family arrived late last night, and my boss wants everything to be ready for the luncheon at noon today. That means I've got my errand-girl hat on, but I'm more than happy with the busywork. It keeps me from thinking a
His Wicked Games series Chapter 49
- LOUISA -As usual, the universe is quick to dole out some instant karma for my indiscretion. Not half an hour after the luncheon ends, I'm informed that I will be accompanying Haymore and the Carolsons on their little tour of the grounds this afternoon.I've spent every minute since I left Ward beating myself up for being such an idiot. I'm not an animal. I should be able to make it through a day without trying to jump someone's bones. I don't care how upset I am - I promised myself that I wouldn't look for that kind of comfort anymore.It's hard enough, remembering how I treated Ian. How easily I gave in to those urges, even when I looked into his eyes and saw emotions I knew I could never return. I don't want to be that girl any longer. I don't want to take two steps backward for every one I take forward.I need to take responsibility for myself. And that means avoiding temptation - Ward - at all costs. It also means sitting down and responding to Ian's email. Apologizing for
His Wicked Games series Chapter 50
- LOUISA -The airport is louder than I remember.It's been about two months since the last time I walked through here, but that seems like a lifetime ago. Like a dream. I stand in Baggage Claim next to the single luggage carousel. Barberville's airport is small, but today it's still overwhelming. Once I was excited to walk through these terminals - they were my link to the world outside of my family. Now they only serve to remind me of the emptiness I found on the other side of the planet.I glance around. This place is pretty busy for a small, local airport. I imagine things will go crazy around here when Huntington Manor officially opens. They've already cleared the land to the south of the airport. It looks like they have plans to expand.I'm so busy watching the people pass that I almost miss the one I've come to meet. Suddenly there's a figure in front of me and I find myself looking up into those gray eyes I know so well.I open my mouth to greet him, but no words come. So
His Wicked Games series Chapter 51
- LOUISA -I'm a bitch.I never should have let Ian come here. I never should have gone into his motel room. I never should have kissed him or undressed him or let him think even for a minute that I could return the feelings he has for me. But once again, I allowed myself to get caught up in my own emotions. My own needs.Tears burn in my eyes as I drive back to the estate, but I refuse to let them fall. I don't deserve to cry. I'm never going to change, am I? Every time I show signs of being a decent human being, my true nature has to rear its ugly head again.I can still see Ian's face in my mind. Still see his eyes full of anger and disappointment. Somehow in the past two months he's convinced himself that I have the ability to change. To learn from my mistakes and become the girl he always thought I was. The girl that never really existed in the first place.It's past ten o'clock by the time I reach the estate, and though I know I should go to bed, there's no way I'm going to
His Wicked Games series Chapter 52
- LOUISA -Surprise, surprise - I don't get much sleep that night. It doesn't seem to matter how exhausted my body is. The minute I lie down, my mind starts to race, and on the occasions I do manage to drift off, strange dreams keep waking me up again.I use the time to my advantage, getting to work on the wine bottles. A quick Internet search brings up several ways to remove a wine label without damaging it, and a short time later, I have the labels from both bottles in my hand. I consider keeping the one for the Miel Doré, but it's not worth the risk. Tomorrow, I'll sneak back into the cellar and glue these labels on other bottles - ones that haven't made it into the database yet - and if I pull this off, no one will notice that either wine was gone in the first place.The project keeps me busy, but it doesn't keep my mind from drifting back to Ward. To the way he looked at me. I already know what it feels like to kiss him, how fully my body responds to his. If I'd wanted, I coul
His Wicked Games series Chapter 53
- LOUISA -Those last few days before the press members arrive go by in a blur. Mr. Haymore apparently thinks I'm the Energizer Bunny. He has me doing so many things I'm shocked that I'm still standing.But I like being busy. I feel productive. And that's a much better alternative than stewing on my problems. I don't have time to think about the fact that Ian hasn't responded to my message - whether to worry about how he's taking the news or to be relieved that he's accepted my decision. And I don't have time to think about Ward - to wonder how he's recovering from his injuries or think about the fact that the impending grand opening means his work here is very close to done. Even if he's well enough to get back on the job, there's a chance I'll never see him again.By the time the big morning comes, I'm both physically and mentally exhausted. The only reason I'm not in a puddle on the floor is that I'm jacked up on four cups of coffee. If I stand in one place for too long, my enti
His Wicked Games series Chapter 54
- LOUISA -The next morning, I'm still in a daze.I'm exhilarated and confused and... I don't know what. Completely addled. Maybe last night was a mistake. Maybe I'm just doing it again - distracting myself with physical sensation when I should be sorting myself out.But something about this thing with Ward feels different. Crazy, yes, but not crazy in my normal way. Crazy in a my-world's-been-turned-upside-down kind of way. It feels like I've been flipped around and set on my feet in a strange new place.Maybe it's just some side effect of coming back to the estate. All of my emotions have been on overdrive these past couple of weeks. It's no wonder I should have a strong reaction to my new delicious acquaintance. But the funny thing is, I'm not even sure what that reaction is. I'm not sure whether I want to yell at him some more or spill everything to him or just throw myself into his arms for another round.And honestly, this morning I don't really feel like questioning it too
His Wicked Games series Chapter 55
- LOUISA -I lean against the wall for a long time after we hang up.I deserved that. I deserved every word he said. And I know I'm going to be carrying around the shame of this for a long time.I close my eyes and try to find the emptiness deep inside of me. I know it's buried in there somewhere. The hard part is over, and now I just want to drown in numbness for a while.But it's not enough.I don't stop to think about what I'm doing. I shove my phone in my pocket and head down to the eastern wing of the house.Ward's exactly where he said he'd be. There are a couple of other contractors down here, too, all helping with the moldings, but I don't give them a second glance.Ward looks up as I draw closer, and his face brightens. I answer with a very wicked expression of my own, then continue past without a word. I wouldn't want any of the other workers to hear.He gets the hint.I continue down the hall, and I don't even have to glance over my shoulder to know that Ward is fo
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His Wicked Games series Chapter 116
- CALDER -I wait until both Lily and the baby are asleep before I decide to sneak out. As much as I want to sit here with her in my arms forever, our conversation about her mother reminded me of a call I need to make.I look down at her before I leave. Her brown hair is in a messy bun on her head, and she doesn't have a stitch of makeup on, but I don't think I've ever seen her look so beautiful. I lean over and press a kiss against her forehead as I lift our sleeping son out of her arms.He's so tiny that I'm afraid I'll break him. But even though he was born a little early, the doctor told us he's perfectly healthy - and after hearing him scream this morning, I'm tempted to believe him. This little guy has quite a pair of lungs on him.I settle him gently in the bed the nurse wheeled in for him. I can see so much of Lily in him - and so much of myself. I knew I would love my son, but the intensity of my feelings is startling. When I think of how close I came to losing both of the
His Wicked Games series Chapter 115
- LILY – Two Days LaterThey won't tell me what happened.I remember the pain. The screaming. The fear.I remember hearing the first, sweet cry from my son's throat.I remember the miracle of Calder's voice, the proof that he was alive.But after that, there's only darkness.I woke up yesterday morning in the hospital. Calder tells me they were able to get an air ambulance out to us at the estate, but he won't give me any more details than that about what happened two nights ago after he made it to the house. And there's a desperate, hollow look in his eyes when I ask, so I don't press him for details.Honestly? I'm not sure I want to know.And truthfully, it doesn't matter. Calder is alive. I'm alive. And our son is here. So much has happened in the past couple of days, and none of it feels real.I look down at the tiny little human in my arms. He's perfect. Even though he arrived a couple of weeks before his due date, he's still round and healthy. He emerged with a thick cro
His Wicked Games series Chapter 114
- LOUISA -Just stay calm.Just stay calm.Just stay calm.It doesn't matter how many times I say it to myself - it gets harder with every passing second. I spend almost twenty minutes searching for my cell phone in the rain, but I can't find it anywhere. It's not in the car. It's not on the driveway. It's just gone. Finally, I force myself to give up the search and return to check on Lily - and I'm not a moment too soon.If I had any hope that we might make it through the night without this baby - after all, I was in labor for nineteen hours - it's fading fast. After five minutes at Lily's side, it's clear that her little one has no intention of waiting for help to arrive, and she seems to know it, too. Even if I thought I still had a chance of finding my cell phone, I can't leave Lily now.Both Ward and Calder are still out there somewhere. It's just me and Lily - and a whimpering Ramona, who's still clearly confused and terrified. I long to go over to my daughter, to pick her
His Wicked Games series Chapter 113
- LOUISA -Lily's face has gone white."Calder?" she says into the phone, her voice cracking. "Calder! Calder, answer me!" Her hand visibly shakes as she pulls the phone away from her ear."What's going on?" I ask her, running over and shifting Ramona in my arms. I've just managed to get my little girl to stop crying. "What happened?"She doesn't answer. Instead she hits a couple of buttons on the screen, presumably calling him again. I glance over at Ward, but he looks just as shocked and confused as I feel.After a moment, Lily drops the phone, her eyes wide with horror."What happened?" I ask again, my stomach sinking further with every passing second. Something is wrong. Something is desperately wrong. Ramona starts to whimper in my arms."Lily," Ward says firmly. "You have to tell us what's happening."Lily glances up, blinking, as if she's suddenly remembered she's not alone."Something happened," she whispers. "Something happened to Calder."She's in shock, that much i
His Wicked Games series Chapter 112
- CALDER -Lily is in labor. Lily is in labor.That thought drives out everything else - even the raw, gnawing feeling in my gut when I think about what Michelle has done - and suddenly nothing matters but getting to my wife.If I was a madman on the road before, it's nothing to how I drive now. I don't care about the rain or the traffic. I don't care if a cop chases me down for driving twice the speed limit. I'm getting to that hospital. Getting to my wife.I should have been there, I think. I should have been by her side when this started. But though the guilt eats away at me, I can't think about that now. I have one concern and one concern only - getting to her. Being with her as soon as humanly possible. Holding her hand as the pain comes. Even over the phone, I could hear the fear in her voice.I need to be with her.And if I have to kill myself to get to her, I will.. . . . .- WARD -Keep it together, man. They're counting on you.I hate that I have to remind myself o
His Wicked Games series Chapter 111
- LOUISA -It might be storming outside, but I'm determined to make today a little brighter."I have a surprise for you," I tell Ward.It took me half an hour to find him after I put Ramona down for her afternoon nap. Even though I've insisted that he take a break from his restoration projects, Ward has continued to work, and I find him retouching the paint in a bedroom in the eastern wing. He's currently perched on a ladder with a paintbrush in his hand.When he grins down at me, I know he couldn't be happier to see me."What sort of surprise?" he asks, and his expression makes my heart skip a beat. He climbs down the ladder and stands in front of me.I drink him in as he wipes the back of his hand across his forehead. His T-shirt has streaks of paint on it, and there's a new hole in his jeans, but somehow all of it works together to make him look irresistibly yummy. Something wells up inside of me as I admire him - and the way he's looking at me right now brings the blood rushi
His Wicked Games series Chapter 110
- CALDER -Less than two hours later, Michelle and I are in Barberville and I've got her set up at a modest little extended stay hotel just outside of downtown. I've prepaid for a two-week stay, and after that, I'll reassess the situation and figure out the best course of action. Michelle told Lily that she was looking for a job in the area, but since learning the truth about her health, I'm not sure whether that was an empty claim or not. Either way, though, now is not the time to be making any rash decisions. Lily comes first. We'll deal with Michelle after the baby is here.I'm getting ready to leave when a thought occurs to me."Lily will have lots of questions when she learns the truth. And she'll want you to start treatment as soon as possible."She starts to protest. "I still don't think I want treatment - ""At the very least, will you go talk to a doctor here in town? Explore your options? I'll pay for your visit, of course."She hesitates, then nods. "All right."I tur
His Wicked Games series Chapter 109
- LOUISA -I'm in the office on the south side of the house, working out some of the final details of my surprise honeymoon trip for Ward, when Calder stalks into the room."Good morning," I say - though you'd hardly know it was morning, considering how overcast it is outside today. When I glance up and see his face, my fingers freeze on the computer keyboard. "What's wrong? Is it Lily?"We had a bit of a scare yesterday, what with Lily getting rushed to the hospital. She'll be on bed rest for the duration of her term, but both mother and baby are healthy - or so I thought. Calder looks like he's hardly slept. There are dark circles under his eyes, and he seems agitated."We need to figure out what Lily's mother wants," Calder says, jerking a hand through his hair. "It's that woman's fault that Lily is in this state."I lean back in my chair and glance over at Ramona. She's in her playpen over by the window, and she's pulled herself up onto her feet so that she can watch her uncle
His Wicked Games series Chapter 108
- CALDER -That was too close.My jaw hurts from clenching. My mind won't slow down. I've been pacing the same spot on the floor for so long that I'm surprised I haven't worn a hole into the boards.It was only a false alarm, I remind myself. Lily is fine - for now - and the doctor said she was only having Braxton-Hicks contractions, probably made worse by stress. But even though she's now safe in our bed, I still can't seem to make myself calm down. When it comes time for the real thing... I don't even want to think about it."There's no need to be so worked up," Lily tells me. "Everything is fine. Come to bed.""Everything is not all right," I say. "Your mother upset you so much that you - ""It was my dad's fault, too," she says. "And it was a false alarm. I'm all right. No harm done.""Maybe not this time, but I'm not willing to take that chance again." I resume my pacing. "That woman needs to go.""I agree," she says. "And she's already looking for a place. But in the mean
