Two days later, I get another delivery at work. It's calla lilies again - amethyst this time. I almost throw them away without reading the accompanying message. But curiosity or madness overtakes me, and I find myself reaching for the card. It's not what I'm anticipating at all.Truth or dare? One for each of us.I'll take Truth: The truth is, I'm an ass.You get Dare: I dare you to come and find me.I stare at the words for a full minute. Is he serious? He expects me to keep playing? He wants me to go looking for him? After everything?But each time I reread the message, I feel myself weakening. Who am I kidding? I miss him. I want him. I'm still pissed, but that doesn't mean I love him any less.No - I need to be strong. I throw the card into the garbage and force myself to get back to work.Forget about him. You need to move on.Try as I might, though, my attention keeps drifting back to that little piece of cardstock. After ten frustrating minutes, I finally sigh and reach
BOOK THREE: SWEET VICTORY"This is the last of it."Calder's voice draws my eyes up from the bookshelf I'm attempting to assemble. He's standing in the doorway, holding a cardboard box with the word "Miscellaneous" scrawled across it in Sharpie.I grin. "Then it's official?"He meets my smile with one of his own. "It's official."I leap up and run over to him. He barely has time to drop the box on the counter before I jump into his arms. My arms go around his neck, my legs around his waist. He stumbles back a step, laughing as he holds me up."We live together," I whisper. "We really and truly live together."And before he has the chance to respond, I'm kissing him. It seems only right; after nearly six months of dating, Calder Cunningham and I have finally decided to take things to the next level. A week ago we signed the lease on an apartment together, and tonight, for the first time, we will be calling the same place home."Mm," he says against my lips. "What do you say we c
He starts by ordering us dinner. He decides to get Chinese food from a little place down the street, and by the time it arrives, my entire body is trembling in anticipation.I still remember the first time he and I ate Chinese food together. We were both naked, and I was blindfolded. Calder tried to help me eat - but as I remember it, we ended up getting distracted and never even finished the meal. It has to be intentional, him ordering Chinese food again, and I can't wait to see what he has planned for me this time around. He's asked that I continue to wear my new lingerie, and I've happily consented. My imagination runs wild as he lays out the various cartons on the kitchen counter."There you go," he says, tossing me a pair of wooden chopsticks. "Eat up."I blink at him. "Just... eat?" Surely there's more to it than that.But he nods. "We've had a long day. We need some energy."I eye him suspiciously across the feast of fried rice and General Tso's chicken. He's ruffling throu
Calder's thumb dances across my cheek. He leans in, his breath stirring my hair, but for a long moment he doesn't speak.As the silence stretches between us, I pull back slightly so I can look him in the eyes. His dark irises hold a world of emotion, and though the desire is still there, there's something deeper too. Something infinitely more meaningful."The prize I ask," he says, "is that you be completely honest with me."I frown as confusion and hurt battle within me. "You... you think I'm not honest with you?"He shakes his head quickly - vehemently - but it's not enough to quiet the emotions that have suddenly flickered to life in my gut."That's not what I meant," he says. "I'm going to ask you a question, and I'd like for you to answer it as honestly as possible."Our conversation's sudden shift in tone makes me nervous, but I nod. I want to know what's going on in his head.Calder reaches over and takes a lock of my hair in his hand. He twirls it slowly between his fing
What the hell?I'm not even sure what to think right now. This is the girl who left Calder alone to deal with the aftermath of their father's death. While he was mucking through the financial mess they inherited and fighting off swarms of paparazzi, she was happily at work over in Thailand. Family is supposed to stick together during the rough times - and Louisa abandoned him. She's the only other remaining Cunningham, and yet she took off to the other side of the world when he needed her most. And now she thinks she can just show up at our new apartment and scream at him to let her in?No. This is supposed to be a special night for me and Calder, and I'm not about to let her ruin it.I storm across the floor to the door and fling open the lock. Louisa stops her incessant knocking at the jingle of the chain, and her shouting turns to laughter even before I've opened the door."Geez, Calder, what took you so - " Her voice cuts off and her eyes widen when she finds me, not her brothe
An hour later, I'm no closer to identifying my gift. I am, however, as exhausted and physically satisfied as I could ever hope to be."Are you sure you're human?" I ask Calder breathlessly. We've moved back inside and are now splayed across the mattress. "I didn't know it was possible for a mere mortal to have that much stamina."He chuckles and twists my nipple slowly between his thumb and forefinger. "You should know better than that by now."I do. I've never doubted that he is a bona fide master of sex.I let my hand drift across his chest and lazily run my finger through his thin scattering of chest hair. He lets out a contented sigh and pulls me close. The weirdness from earlier seems to be gone - but I detect a little tension in his forehead and around his eyes. It's not every day that an estranged family member shows up on the doorstep, and for all his determination to mend things between himself and his sister, this will be hard on him.But I hope, for my part, that I've s
We never finish our game. After our shower, we tumble right back into the bedroom, and though Calder seems eager for the next challenge, I don't miss the fatigue in his eyes. We spent the whole day hauling our things up three flights of stairs and the better part of the night hungrily devouring each other. Any normal person would have collapsed long ago. And that's not even considering the emotional strain of the day.I suggest we take a break and lie down for a little while. Calder seems reluctant at first, but as soon as the protest leaves his lips, his mouth widens in a yawn."You know," I say, "if you're tired, we can end the game and you can just give me the present."His lips curl into a secretive smile. "It's too important for that. But you're right. We should rest for a while.""Just a little while," I say."Just a little while," he agrees.We throw some sheets down on the mattress and curl up next to each other. We don't speak. It's enough to lie here in each other's arm
BOOK FOUR: HER WICKED HEART- LOUISA - It never should have happened.He was my project manager, and I was the daughter of Wentworth Cunningham, the man who gave him the job. We both should have known better, but me most of all.The truth is, I was selfish. Before my life went haywire, he was just Ian: hardworking and generous, sweet and serious. I used to tease him about his hair - which was dark and curly like mine - just to try and make him smile. I'd remind him that we were working for the greater good, but he would only see the work we hadn't done yet: the orphanage we had yet to renovate, the resources we had yet to allocate. He was the kindest and most selfless of all of us working at the Chiang Mai division of Cunningham Cares International.After my father's death, Ian became my crutch.I shouldn't have rushed back to Thailand after the funeral. I see that now. My brother pushed me into it, sure, but it's not like he had a gun to my head. Frankly, I thought it would be
- CALDER -I wait until both Lily and the baby are asleep before I decide to sneak out. As much as I want to sit here with her in my arms forever, our conversation about her mother reminded me of a call I need to make.I look down at her before I leave. Her brown hair is in a messy bun on her head, and she doesn't have a stitch of makeup on, but I don't think I've ever seen her look so beautiful. I lean over and press a kiss against her forehead as I lift our sleeping son out of her arms.He's so tiny that I'm afraid I'll break him. But even though he was born a little early, the doctor told us he's perfectly healthy - and after hearing him scream this morning, I'm tempted to believe him. This little guy has quite a pair of lungs on him.I settle him gently in the bed the nurse wheeled in for him. I can see so much of Lily in him - and so much of myself. I knew I would love my son, but the intensity of my feelings is startling. When I think of how close I came to losing both of the
- LILY – Two Days LaterThey won't tell me what happened.I remember the pain. The screaming. The fear.I remember hearing the first, sweet cry from my son's throat.I remember the miracle of Calder's voice, the proof that he was alive.But after that, there's only darkness.I woke up yesterday morning in the hospital. Calder tells me they were able to get an air ambulance out to us at the estate, but he won't give me any more details than that about what happened two nights ago after he made it to the house. And there's a desperate, hollow look in his eyes when I ask, so I don't press him for details.Honestly? I'm not sure I want to know.And truthfully, it doesn't matter. Calder is alive. I'm alive. And our son is here. So much has happened in the past couple of days, and none of it feels real.I look down at the tiny little human in my arms. He's perfect. Even though he arrived a couple of weeks before his due date, he's still round and healthy. He emerged with a thick cro
- LOUISA -Just stay calm.Just stay calm.Just stay calm.It doesn't matter how many times I say it to myself - it gets harder with every passing second. I spend almost twenty minutes searching for my cell phone in the rain, but I can't find it anywhere. It's not in the car. It's not on the driveway. It's just gone. Finally, I force myself to give up the search and return to check on Lily - and I'm not a moment too soon.If I had any hope that we might make it through the night without this baby - after all, I was in labor for nineteen hours - it's fading fast. After five minutes at Lily's side, it's clear that her little one has no intention of waiting for help to arrive, and she seems to know it, too. Even if I thought I still had a chance of finding my cell phone, I can't leave Lily now.Both Ward and Calder are still out there somewhere. It's just me and Lily - and a whimpering Ramona, who's still clearly confused and terrified. I long to go over to my daughter, to pick her
- LOUISA -Lily's face has gone white."Calder?" she says into the phone, her voice cracking. "Calder! Calder, answer me!" Her hand visibly shakes as she pulls the phone away from her ear."What's going on?" I ask her, running over and shifting Ramona in my arms. I've just managed to get my little girl to stop crying. "What happened?"She doesn't answer. Instead she hits a couple of buttons on the screen, presumably calling him again. I glance over at Ward, but he looks just as shocked and confused as I feel.After a moment, Lily drops the phone, her eyes wide with horror."What happened?" I ask again, my stomach sinking further with every passing second. Something is wrong. Something is desperately wrong. Ramona starts to whimper in my arms."Lily," Ward says firmly. "You have to tell us what's happening."Lily glances up, blinking, as if she's suddenly remembered she's not alone."Something happened," she whispers. "Something happened to Calder."She's in shock, that much i
- CALDER -Lily is in labor. Lily is in labor.That thought drives out everything else - even the raw, gnawing feeling in my gut when I think about what Michelle has done - and suddenly nothing matters but getting to my wife.If I was a madman on the road before, it's nothing to how I drive now. I don't care about the rain or the traffic. I don't care if a cop chases me down for driving twice the speed limit. I'm getting to that hospital. Getting to my wife.I should have been there, I think. I should have been by her side when this started. But though the guilt eats away at me, I can't think about that now. I have one concern and one concern only - getting to her. Being with her as soon as humanly possible. Holding her hand as the pain comes. Even over the phone, I could hear the fear in her voice.I need to be with her.And if I have to kill myself to get to her, I will.. . . . .- WARD -Keep it together, man. They're counting on you.I hate that I have to remind myself o
- LOUISA -It might be storming outside, but I'm determined to make today a little brighter."I have a surprise for you," I tell Ward.It took me half an hour to find him after I put Ramona down for her afternoon nap. Even though I've insisted that he take a break from his restoration projects, Ward has continued to work, and I find him retouching the paint in a bedroom in the eastern wing. He's currently perched on a ladder with a paintbrush in his hand.When he grins down at me, I know he couldn't be happier to see me."What sort of surprise?" he asks, and his expression makes my heart skip a beat. He climbs down the ladder and stands in front of me.I drink him in as he wipes the back of his hand across his forehead. His T-shirt has streaks of paint on it, and there's a new hole in his jeans, but somehow all of it works together to make him look irresistibly yummy. Something wells up inside of me as I admire him - and the way he's looking at me right now brings the blood rushi
- CALDER -Less than two hours later, Michelle and I are in Barberville and I've got her set up at a modest little extended stay hotel just outside of downtown. I've prepaid for a two-week stay, and after that, I'll reassess the situation and figure out the best course of action. Michelle told Lily that she was looking for a job in the area, but since learning the truth about her health, I'm not sure whether that was an empty claim or not. Either way, though, now is not the time to be making any rash decisions. Lily comes first. We'll deal with Michelle after the baby is here.I'm getting ready to leave when a thought occurs to me."Lily will have lots of questions when she learns the truth. And she'll want you to start treatment as soon as possible."She starts to protest. "I still don't think I want treatment - ""At the very least, will you go talk to a doctor here in town? Explore your options? I'll pay for your visit, of course."She hesitates, then nods. "All right."I tur
- LOUISA -I'm in the office on the south side of the house, working out some of the final details of my surprise honeymoon trip for Ward, when Calder stalks into the room."Good morning," I say - though you'd hardly know it was morning, considering how overcast it is outside today. When I glance up and see his face, my fingers freeze on the computer keyboard. "What's wrong? Is it Lily?"We had a bit of a scare yesterday, what with Lily getting rushed to the hospital. She'll be on bed rest for the duration of her term, but both mother and baby are healthy - or so I thought. Calder looks like he's hardly slept. There are dark circles under his eyes, and he seems agitated."We need to figure out what Lily's mother wants," Calder says, jerking a hand through his hair. "It's that woman's fault that Lily is in this state."I lean back in my chair and glance over at Ramona. She's in her playpen over by the window, and she's pulled herself up onto her feet so that she can watch her uncle
- CALDER -That was too close.My jaw hurts from clenching. My mind won't slow down. I've been pacing the same spot on the floor for so long that I'm surprised I haven't worn a hole into the boards.It was only a false alarm, I remind myself. Lily is fine - for now - and the doctor said she was only having Braxton-Hicks contractions, probably made worse by stress. But even though she's now safe in our bed, I still can't seem to make myself calm down. When it comes time for the real thing... I don't even want to think about it."There's no need to be so worked up," Lily tells me. "Everything is fine. Come to bed.""Everything is not all right," I say. "Your mother upset you so much that you - ""It was my dad's fault, too," she says. "And it was a false alarm. I'm all right. No harm done.""Maybe not this time, but I'm not willing to take that chance again." I resume my pacing. "That woman needs to go.""I agree," she says. "And she's already looking for a place. But in the mean