A little while later, when my body starts to cool down, I realize my feet are getting wet. Calder never bothered to close the car door, and now our tangled legs and feet are dangling out in the rain. But I have a hard time rousing myself. I just want to lie here with Calder's weight on me and his lips against my neck. In here, it's easy to ignore the problems of the outside world.It's Calder who finally moves, but only to prop himself up on his elbows and stare down at me."Well," he says, his voice still ragged, "that was something." His dark eyes roam over my face. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" His own lips are swollen from my teeth, and I'm filled with a wicked sense satisfaction at the lingering evidence of our wild coupling."Only if you count the good kind of pain," I whisper.The corner of his mouth curls up, and he sweeps a strand of sweat-soaked hair away from my forehead before leaning down and brushing his lips against mine. Now that we're no longer in the throes of passi
I have seven minutes left and absolutely no plan.This house is huge, and Calder's tour did little more than make it clear that it would take me a year to learn my way around this place. I have no idea where I'm going, let alone where I might find a suitable place to hide.All the same, something surges through me as I run down the hallway. In spite of everything - and even though it's completely crazy - I think I'm as excited as Calder by our little game. More than excited - enthralled.Maybe I should let him catch me. The promise of his words still echoes through my mind. If I wanted, I could be at his mercy all night. The prospect tempts me more than I want to admit.But reality hits me quick and hard: I can't allow myself to be caught up in this. There's too much at stake. The Center's entire future falls on the outcome of this "little" game, and I'm not going to let my own weakness destroy the thing my dad worked so hard to build. Calder is sexy, yes, and our encounter in the
It's not right.I was so close - so close. To lose like this, with only second left - to lose because my phone went off... no. No. I won't go down like this."You can't - " I start, but Calder surprises me by yanking me to my feet.He doesn't say anything. He just pushes me up against the wall. I try to argue again, but his fingers close across my lips.I reach up and grab his shirt. I intend to push him away, to explain to him why his victory shouldn't count, but instead I find myself pulling him closer. After an hour fantasizing about this moment of capture, I realize I don't have the will to refuse him.His warm breath sweeps across my nose, my cheek, my ear. In the darkness like this, robbed of my sight, I feel like all of my other senses have exploded. The side of his face brushes against mine, and his stubble scratches my jaw in a hundred tiny places, but it's the sort of pain that only increases the heat building in my core. He pulls my earlobe between his teeth and sucks.
An hour later, I lie naked in Calder's bed.Calder himself stands next to a cart of food that Martin brought up a little while ago. I can't decide where to look: at the gorgeous plates of food he's revealing one by one or the equally gorgeous vision of his well-muscled body. In this light, his tanned skin is a pale bronze, and his hair looks even darker - almost black. The shadows play across his pecs and abs in a way that highlights every groove, every firm round edge of muscle beneath his taut skin. I finally have the chance to notice the dusting of hair on his chest, and the way his waist narrows from his broad shoulders into a perfect V. By my estimation, he's the perfect specimen of a man - why no one's tried to carve a copy of this one out of marble yet, I can't guess."Like what you see?"I glance up to find Calder smiling at me with amusement. I sit up quickly on the bed, embarrassed to be caught staring."I'm only eager for the food," I say, but I know he knows better, eve
If I thought Calder was magnificent before, it doesn't take long before I'm convinced he's a genuine sex god. A couple of hours after dinner, we lie tangled among the rumpled sheets, sticky with sweat and breathless from our exertions."Wow," I whisper into the darkness.Calder chuckles and pulls me closer to him. My arm rests across his chest, my leg across his thighs. I feel his lips press against the top of my head."I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," he murmurs against my hair. He runs his hand up my arm.I give a contented sigh. My entire body aches. Calder bent me into positions I've never even imagined before, let alone attempted, and my arms and legs feel like jelly. He brought me to the peak of ecstasy and back again, and my flesh still quivers at the memory."You're a feisty thing," he tells me. "Anyone who sees my back will think I was attacked by an animal."I start to pull away, embarrassed, but he laughs and grabs me closer again."That's a good thing. I like a woman
By the time I wake up the next morning, the rain has stopped. Somehow we managed to stumble back to the bed after our romp on the balcony, but my hair is still wet, making me shiver as I climb out of the sheets. I grab my shirt and pull it over my head as I go to inspect the sliver of sunlight coming in around the curtain. I push the thick fabric aside and peer out through the window. Sure enough, the sky is clear. I can even hear birds singing.I turn back toward the bed. Calder is still asleep, looking deliciously rumpled in the early light. The covers have fallen back, revealing his naked torso, and my mind floods with a dozen wicked ways I might wake him.But then I remember how we left things last night, how he'd agreed that we were "just fucking." I'm still not sure why I'm suddenly having this twisted emotional reaction to him, but one thing's for certain: touching him again is a bad idea. I've indulged myself enough. I've had my little sexual fantasy weekend, and now it's tim
Three days later, I'm helping out in one of the Center's art classes. Marie, who usually leads the children's programs, is out sick. I suspect we'll lose her to another job in the near future anyway.I lean over the shoulder of one of our regulars, an enthusiastic seven-year-old named Erin. We're working with watercolors today, and she holds up her work-in-progress."It's a garden, Miss Lily," she says. "Like the one in my book.""It's beautiful. You've been practicing, haven't you?"She beams at the compliment."Look, those are the roses," she says, pointing them out. "And these are the daisies and these are the tulips. And here's the cat. He likes to sit next to the fountain."I smile at her, trying to ignore the pang I feel in my stomach. I was in a garden like this only a few days ago - minus the cat, admittedly - and I'd thought it was one of the most beautiful places I'd ever seen.But I'm not supposed to be thinking of that. Or him."It's beautiful," I tell her again.S
TWO MONTHS LATER"What do you think?" I ask my dad.We're standing at the doorway of the gallery, surveying the hard work of the last few days. I was up half the night draping fabric from the ceiling and setting up tables, but the result is, in my opinion, absolutely beautiful."It's wonderful, sweetheart," Dad says. He's beaming, and I swear he hasn't looked this young in years.Tonight is our very first event since opening up the gallery for rentals. A couple is celebrating their fiftieth anniversary, and they wanted the whole package: decor, tables and chairs, even use of the temporary dance floor we put down for our ballet and jazz classes. The check from tonight will fund our afterschool program for the rest of the month.And it's not the only event we have scheduled this month. Next weekend we're hosting a Bar Mitzvah, and two weeks after that an awards ceremony for a local private high school. Assuming everything goes smoothly, I hope word of mouth will draw in even more ev
- CALDER -I wait until both Lily and the baby are asleep before I decide to sneak out. As much as I want to sit here with her in my arms forever, our conversation about her mother reminded me of a call I need to make.I look down at her before I leave. Her brown hair is in a messy bun on her head, and she doesn't have a stitch of makeup on, but I don't think I've ever seen her look so beautiful. I lean over and press a kiss against her forehead as I lift our sleeping son out of her arms.He's so tiny that I'm afraid I'll break him. But even though he was born a little early, the doctor told us he's perfectly healthy - and after hearing him scream this morning, I'm tempted to believe him. This little guy has quite a pair of lungs on him.I settle him gently in the bed the nurse wheeled in for him. I can see so much of Lily in him - and so much of myself. I knew I would love my son, but the intensity of my feelings is startling. When I think of how close I came to losing both of the
- LILY – Two Days LaterThey won't tell me what happened.I remember the pain. The screaming. The fear.I remember hearing the first, sweet cry from my son's throat.I remember the miracle of Calder's voice, the proof that he was alive.But after that, there's only darkness.I woke up yesterday morning in the hospital. Calder tells me they were able to get an air ambulance out to us at the estate, but he won't give me any more details than that about what happened two nights ago after he made it to the house. And there's a desperate, hollow look in his eyes when I ask, so I don't press him for details.Honestly? I'm not sure I want to know.And truthfully, it doesn't matter. Calder is alive. I'm alive. And our son is here. So much has happened in the past couple of days, and none of it feels real.I look down at the tiny little human in my arms. He's perfect. Even though he arrived a couple of weeks before his due date, he's still round and healthy. He emerged with a thick cro
- LOUISA -Just stay calm.Just stay calm.Just stay calm.It doesn't matter how many times I say it to myself - it gets harder with every passing second. I spend almost twenty minutes searching for my cell phone in the rain, but I can't find it anywhere. It's not in the car. It's not on the driveway. It's just gone. Finally, I force myself to give up the search and return to check on Lily - and I'm not a moment too soon.If I had any hope that we might make it through the night without this baby - after all, I was in labor for nineteen hours - it's fading fast. After five minutes at Lily's side, it's clear that her little one has no intention of waiting for help to arrive, and she seems to know it, too. Even if I thought I still had a chance of finding my cell phone, I can't leave Lily now.Both Ward and Calder are still out there somewhere. It's just me and Lily - and a whimpering Ramona, who's still clearly confused and terrified. I long to go over to my daughter, to pick her
- LOUISA -Lily's face has gone white."Calder?" she says into the phone, her voice cracking. "Calder! Calder, answer me!" Her hand visibly shakes as she pulls the phone away from her ear."What's going on?" I ask her, running over and shifting Ramona in my arms. I've just managed to get my little girl to stop crying. "What happened?"She doesn't answer. Instead she hits a couple of buttons on the screen, presumably calling him again. I glance over at Ward, but he looks just as shocked and confused as I feel.After a moment, Lily drops the phone, her eyes wide with horror."What happened?" I ask again, my stomach sinking further with every passing second. Something is wrong. Something is desperately wrong. Ramona starts to whimper in my arms."Lily," Ward says firmly. "You have to tell us what's happening."Lily glances up, blinking, as if she's suddenly remembered she's not alone."Something happened," she whispers. "Something happened to Calder."She's in shock, that much i
- CALDER -Lily is in labor. Lily is in labor.That thought drives out everything else - even the raw, gnawing feeling in my gut when I think about what Michelle has done - and suddenly nothing matters but getting to my wife.If I was a madman on the road before, it's nothing to how I drive now. I don't care about the rain or the traffic. I don't care if a cop chases me down for driving twice the speed limit. I'm getting to that hospital. Getting to my wife.I should have been there, I think. I should have been by her side when this started. But though the guilt eats away at me, I can't think about that now. I have one concern and one concern only - getting to her. Being with her as soon as humanly possible. Holding her hand as the pain comes. Even over the phone, I could hear the fear in her voice.I need to be with her.And if I have to kill myself to get to her, I will.. . . . .- WARD -Keep it together, man. They're counting on you.I hate that I have to remind myself o
- LOUISA -It might be storming outside, but I'm determined to make today a little brighter."I have a surprise for you," I tell Ward.It took me half an hour to find him after I put Ramona down for her afternoon nap. Even though I've insisted that he take a break from his restoration projects, Ward has continued to work, and I find him retouching the paint in a bedroom in the eastern wing. He's currently perched on a ladder with a paintbrush in his hand.When he grins down at me, I know he couldn't be happier to see me."What sort of surprise?" he asks, and his expression makes my heart skip a beat. He climbs down the ladder and stands in front of me.I drink him in as he wipes the back of his hand across his forehead. His T-shirt has streaks of paint on it, and there's a new hole in his jeans, but somehow all of it works together to make him look irresistibly yummy. Something wells up inside of me as I admire him - and the way he's looking at me right now brings the blood rushi
- CALDER -Less than two hours later, Michelle and I are in Barberville and I've got her set up at a modest little extended stay hotel just outside of downtown. I've prepaid for a two-week stay, and after that, I'll reassess the situation and figure out the best course of action. Michelle told Lily that she was looking for a job in the area, but since learning the truth about her health, I'm not sure whether that was an empty claim or not. Either way, though, now is not the time to be making any rash decisions. Lily comes first. We'll deal with Michelle after the baby is here.I'm getting ready to leave when a thought occurs to me."Lily will have lots of questions when she learns the truth. And she'll want you to start treatment as soon as possible."She starts to protest. "I still don't think I want treatment - ""At the very least, will you go talk to a doctor here in town? Explore your options? I'll pay for your visit, of course."She hesitates, then nods. "All right."I tur
- LOUISA -I'm in the office on the south side of the house, working out some of the final details of my surprise honeymoon trip for Ward, when Calder stalks into the room."Good morning," I say - though you'd hardly know it was morning, considering how overcast it is outside today. When I glance up and see his face, my fingers freeze on the computer keyboard. "What's wrong? Is it Lily?"We had a bit of a scare yesterday, what with Lily getting rushed to the hospital. She'll be on bed rest for the duration of her term, but both mother and baby are healthy - or so I thought. Calder looks like he's hardly slept. There are dark circles under his eyes, and he seems agitated."We need to figure out what Lily's mother wants," Calder says, jerking a hand through his hair. "It's that woman's fault that Lily is in this state."I lean back in my chair and glance over at Ramona. She's in her playpen over by the window, and she's pulled herself up onto her feet so that she can watch her uncle
- CALDER -That was too close.My jaw hurts from clenching. My mind won't slow down. I've been pacing the same spot on the floor for so long that I'm surprised I haven't worn a hole into the boards.It was only a false alarm, I remind myself. Lily is fine - for now - and the doctor said she was only having Braxton-Hicks contractions, probably made worse by stress. But even though she's now safe in our bed, I still can't seem to make myself calm down. When it comes time for the real thing... I don't even want to think about it."There's no need to be so worked up," Lily tells me. "Everything is fine. Come to bed.""Everything is not all right," I say. "Your mother upset you so much that you - ""It was my dad's fault, too," she says. "And it was a false alarm. I'm all right. No harm done.""Maybe not this time, but I'm not willing to take that chance again." I resume my pacing. "That woman needs to go.""I agree," she says. "And she's already looking for a place. But in the mean