Chapter Four:

I removed my heels while walking in the street at night. I stop in a playground as I sat on the old swing. My eyes starts to burst in tears. Again. I wiped those tears that rolling down to my face. I look up the stars above.

He didn't even chase me! Well of course, Cyanelle! He didn't see you! But what if he saw me? He is going to chase me right?

I sighed as I learned something. That 'Sometimes you need to know your place in someone's life because you might get hurt if you expect too much.'

I look up in the dark sky with the stars on it. They are really beautiful. I wiped my tears that keeps rolling down to my face. A guy sat on the swing beside me and handed me a handkerchief.

"I don't need it, but t-thank you," I said but when I turned my head to him, my eyes widen in surprised.

"Teejay?" I said in almost surprised tone. He began to wiped my tears until I took the handkerchief from him and wiped my own tears.

"What are you doing here?" I said, trying to act like I'm fine.

He creased his forehead while looking at me. Checking me.

"You're crying aren't you? I think it would be better if you spill that up!" He said while eyeing on me, he put his palm on his chin while he's staring at me.

"I just passed by. And I saw you in this kind of moment," He said as he shrugs his shoulder.

"I'm fine." I forced a smile. Trying to convinced him that I'm fine.

"Don't fool yourself Cyanie, I know you're not." He scoffed, before he look away.

"Teejay can I ask a question?" He look at me with his big eyes and nod. "Sure go ahead."

"Did you ever fall in love to someone who can't be yours?" I asked.

He sighed, "I didn't know that's a tough question," He chuckle, shaking his head.

"But yeah I do." He answered, avoiding my gaze.

"Did you tell her?" I asked. But he shakes his head. While he answer.

"Why?" I asked again. He just smirked.

"Why you keep asking me that questions?" He said while his tapping his foot on the grass.

"Nothing. I just think that your future girlfriend is really lucky to have you." He look at me as he shakes his head.

"You think so?" I nodded.

He took a deep breath before he speak. "Let me tell you a short story, about a boy who fell in love with his best friend. But you know what's the bad move he made?" He asked me raising his both brows at me.

"Do you want to know what happened?" He asked playfully, but I just rolled my eyes.

"What happened?"

He shrug his shoulder. "He treated her friend that he liked, as his younger sister. That's why their level in relationship does not go any farther and it will remained on that, " He said.

"Why didn't the guy doesn't try to confess his feelings to her? He likes her right?" I questioned.

"Ugh, because he's nervous when she's around?" He said in almost a questioned tone.

I rolled my eyes at him, "That's lame and childish."

He chuckle, shaking his head, "Well, to cut the story short, yup! I like you since we were highschool but I don't have any chance to admit it to you. Because, I know you just want me as your friend but I'm okay with it. No hard feelings!" He admitted, my jaw dropped open. What?

"Okay there, I said it! Don't call me lame and childish because of that."

"Stop fooling me!" I hit his arm.

"What?! I didn't. I really do like you. But don't worry, I'll move on." He exclaimed.

I shake my head, "Teejay.." I didn't know that he has a feelings for me. How am I become so numb?

"Cut it, Cyanelle. I'm okay, I'm totally fine! Don't feel pity or sorry." He said.

"Seeing you happy, makes me more happier you know." He shrugged. "But are you totally happy with the guy you said to me before?" His furrowed his brow while looking at me.

I just stared at him for seconds, and shake my head. "I told you I'm fine. It's nothing. And yes we're fine." I said.

He nodded his head as he clasp his hands. "But you know, you can always share your thoughts and problems to me, I'm still your friend. Oh, darn it! Don't feel conscious now. It's still me." He rolled his eyes.

I sighed before I glanced at him, "It's a misunderstanding." I lied. I don't want him to know what was the real reason.

"I wish you guys make things up before the night ends." He said.

"Cyanie can you do me favor?" He stood up from the swing.

I raised my both brows as I wait for his favor. "Can you pretend that I-I didn't confessed to you? You are making it awkward for me! I told you I'll move on, okay?!" I chuckled as I nod my head. Dork!

"Great." He peek on his wrist watch. "It's already 09:30PM do you want me to walk you home? Or just stay here for a little longer? Is he going to fetch you or..." He said, I shake my head and stood up.

"Let's go? I'm tired and a little bit sleepy." I said as we began to walk.

He didn't bring a car so we're walking along in the street while we're loudly talking like before. He's a lame joker!

We are having fun but then a familiar black Audi car stopped and honk in our left side. We both look to that car.

"Oh, your service." Teejay teased.

I'm stunned. When I saw Manu go near at us with his dark aura. He aggressively grab my wrist.

"Let's go!"

"Hey, aww it hurts!" I said as he losses his grip, I take my wrist back and it's red now.

Teejay pushed Manu. "You're hurting her man, can't you hold her with a care huh?" Teejay said and grab my wrist too just to put on his side.

Manu clenches his jaw as he glared to Teejay they're glaring at each other.

Teejay raised his brow, "You must be Manu?" He smirked.

"What if I am?" Manu said arrogantly.

"Hey both of you stop!" I said and hurriedly go in their center, I pushed Teejay away from Manu's front.

"Is that the guy you like? Look Cyanie I'm worried about you, a beautiful lady like you doesn't deserve him," Teejay teased and I know he didn't mean it. He's trying to annoy Manu! And it is working!

Teejay is a dork, and kinda bit annoying at first and i know that he's doing it on purpose! My goodness.

"I can't believe you lower your standard, Cyanie." Teejay added in dismay, while still smirking.

"Stop, Teejay you are not helping.." I widen my eyes on him.

"We gotta go! Let's go, Manu." I said, while trying to pull him to Teejay.

"Cyanie." Teejay said in almost a sweet tone, oh god! The nerve of this guy!

"Let's go." Manu snap while still glaring at him.

I look at him and he's still staring at Teejay sharply, while his right hand are on his pocket.

"Cyanie text me when you get home? Just to know that you're home safe? Alright?"He said, I smile at him and nod.

"Why would she do that? As far as I know, you are not me. You are not his boyfriend. But, don't worry dude I'll assure you she is safe with me," Manu scoff.

Teejay shrugged, "As you say so?"

"I will let you know, don't worry." I said to Teejay. He chuckled, like he was enjoying to annoy Manu.

As we hopped in his car, I close my eyes and turned to Manu.

"What?!" I said irritatedly, he creased his forehead.

"What's what?" He asked back, he lick his lower lip and began to speak again.

"Did you know that I waited you there! And did you know that I almost enter the fuckin' ladies room just to find you?! And now you're here?! With your guy friend? What the heck Cyanelle!!" He raises his voice.

My eyes starting to get hot again. So the blame was on me now? I look at him before I speak, I wiped those tears that keeps streaming down to my face and look at his emerald eyes.

"I cannot look at you both because it hurts me! That it seems that you are still in love with her!" I explained while my voice is shaking. My body is trembling. I shake my head wondering if I should continued it, but I think I need to burst it out. Because it really hurts inside my chest.

I bit my lower lip and wipe my tears again, "W-well, I'm fine. If you'll both dance like Romeo and Juliet. But, I can't look at you together you'll kissed in front of many people. Not only me, but all of the people there! Of course they will all think that you are both together, but how about me? How about my feelings?" I'm still sobbing like a kid, and I can't even breathe, it's really hard.

"I-I know you still love her, but, how about me? I love you Manu, I really do! But why you always breaking my heart into two?! I'm doing a lot of effort just to win your heart. Just to get your attention! Just to love me too like I love you! I'm sorry if I can't stand looking at you both kissed. I can't see you both acting sweet together. I'm sorry but my heart just can't handle it. Because it really breaks me! Like, why I just can't be the girl you love? Why can't I'll be her?! Why can't I be Denisse?" I wiped again my tears as I breath in and out, while I can't help myself but just cry my heart out.

"Loving you is just like holding a sharp knife that pointed at my chest... That even if it hurts nor kills me, I endure it. Because I can't let you go. I love you, I love you so much! But I know you didn't  love me just like the way I do, b-but still I want you." I said with a voice cracked.

Why don't he just bare with me for eight months? It won't hurt him right?

He holds my right hand and put on his face.

"I.. I'm sorry if I caused you, so much kind of pain. Slap me, slap me hard! Cyan I will accept it! If this is the only way to make you feel better. Cyanelle, slap me!" He said but I refused to do that. Instead of slapping him, I hug my arms around him. I don't want to hurt him. I just can't.

"You know that I can't do that right?" I mumbled as I sobbed, he hugged me back tightly.

If I slap him it's seems like I slap myself triple of times. I really just can't do it. Really can't!

"I'm sorry." He whispered to my ear, I hugged him even more tighter. And nod at him.

He pulled back from the hug as we face each other, and stroke my hair at the back of my ear and I smiled weakly. 

"You easily forgive me after that?" He asked raising his both brow, but all I can do right now is nod.

"Forgiven." I said in almost a whisper.

"Let's spend night together," He said and kissed my forehead.

"Don't worry. I have already your Mom's permission, and I want to have your permission also." He smiles at me before he kiss me on my left cheek.

"Could you?" He raised his both brow as he waits for my answer. I slowly nod at him, he smiles widely and kisses my right cheek..

"Let's go then?" He said as he starts to drive.