Future and I are sitting on the bar stools around the kitchen island in Tay parent's house. We arrived a few hours ago; Andrew has been helping his dad with the funeral arrangements. Tay hasn't shown up and I have a feeling he will not come at all. I have a cup of tea in my hands and a glass of juice in Future's hands.“How well did you know Carmen?” I ask Future and take a sip from the mug.“She was one of the greatest people I have ever known. Her love for the guys was incredible,” Future says with a smile on her face.“Tay was her favorite, but she didn't make Nate or Andrew feel otherwise. She also loved them tremendously,” Future says.“From the little time I spent with her, I could tell she was a great mother,” I agree with Future.Andrew walks in with two shopping bags. “Here is what you ladies asked for?” Andrew says and hands us the bags. Future asked him to get us black dresses for tomorrow.“Thanks, babe.” Future says.“Is everything ready for tomorrow?” I ask.“Yea
Tay pulls down his boxers, comes back, and hovers over me between my legs. He looks deep into my eyes and moves his hand to the bedside counter. I pull my lower lip between my teeth as he opens the drawer and takes out a foil packet. His eyes snap back to mine. His bottom lip is a bit swollen, and his chest is heaving up and down. I watch as he rips the packet with his teeth and takes out the silky condom.My eyes go down to his length and watch as he slips the silky sheath on his hard big shaft. I wait in anticipation of what is coming.“Tell me to stop and I will, okay?” he says and I nod as I don't have the voice to say it.I feel his length at my heat, and my heart skips a beat. My mind tells me not to let him have control of my body, but my heart says otherwise. I am fully vulnerable and exposed to him.I push the thoughts of that night at the back of my head and focus back on Tay.Tay slips in, but not fully, and I grip on his arm. He pulls out, then slips back in slowly. I
The next morning, I wake up to an empty bed. I lay on the bed, watching the ceiling. Last night we decided to sleepover at my parent's house. After the intense moment we shared, we never went downstairs again. I don't know what to think of this situation; I thought I knew my parents, or at least Nora. Not only does she have a bitch of a sister, but they are bound to life. I guess Tay was right about not having a choice in a matter of family. No matter how screwed they are, they will always be family.“You look cute when you are thinking,” a voice says, startling me. I turn my head to find Tay leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed. Already showered and dressed.“God! You scared me,” I say and sit up on the bed.“What were you thinking about?” he asks and walks towards the bed.“Nora and my parents,” I say. He looks at me for a moment, then sighs.“I have a surprise for you.” he changes the subject and I'm grateful. If I think about it, I will probably get mad.“Wha
I open my eyes and look around. It's dark outside and raining. I haven't slept so peacefully in a long time. I roll off the bed and slip in my slippers and walk out of the room. I pull my hair into a messy bun as I walk down the steps.“Are you being serious right now?” a voice says, and I walk into the kitchen. Tay and Andrew are standing behind Future, looking at the screen of her phone.“What are you guys doing?” I ask and walk to them.Nate is on the screen, and he looks like he just finished showering.“Hey sister-in-law, how was your first night in jail?” he chuckles and I want to smack him right now.“Don't start,” I warn, but they all just laugh at me. I grab an apple from the fruit basket on the counter and sit on the barstool across from them.“Did you guys see the latest news?” Nate asks, and the guys shake their heads no.“Well, you better check,” he says, and Andrew grabs his tablet from the kitchen counter. I place my elbow on the counter and leans my face in my p
The next morning, I wake up before Tay and freshen up. I have dark circles under my eyes due to lack of sleep. I have never given much thought to how Tay and I would end up. All I know is that I'm afraid of losing him. All my life, everything was taken away from me. He is the first person I have ever loved in my life, the only one who knows the real me. The only one who doesn't judge me and makes me feel safe. Whenever I stumbled or fell, he was there to catch me, even though I pushed him away. I dress up in black leggings and a sweater. I put on the socks and small soft boots. I leave my hair hanging down over my shoulders, grab my phone, and make my way downstairs.“Morning Mrs. Payne to be!” Future half-smiled and I grab a bowl and pour cereal in.“Morning,” she says and Andrew walks in, still in his pajamas. I grab milk from the fridge and pour it into the bowl. My phone buzzes on the kitchen counter.“Excuse me,” I say, and grab my phone.I walk to the living room and answer
PrologueTAYHeartbreak, I’m a stranger to it. I know the feeling of pain from losing my sister and mother but the pain I’m feeling from losing Olivia is beyond anything I could ever imagined. The pain of losing the woman I love feels like my soul is ripping itself out of my body. I don’t know why I am still standing here, in the same position Olivia left me in when she drove away. I guess that was just me hoping she’d come back, like she always did. I know I fucked up bad, but at that time I wasn't thinking. I just wanted her to be with me forever until we had gray hair. I have never felt so empty in my entire life. It feels like my soul left with her. Olivia is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She doesn't have to wear makeup to make a guy kneel for her. I hate myself for what I did to her. I didn't want to do it, but I knew she would leave once she found out my status. Everyone stays away from people like me once they know and look at you like you are a parasite, and I d
OLIVIAIt felt like I wasn't driving at all, as I cruised on the seemingly endless narrow road. How did I end up like this? Probably my parents again, still haunting my existence. I finally spot the sign to my uncle's farmhouse and mentally sigh. I'm emotionally exhausted and all I want to do is sleep and forget about today. I drive through the gravel mud road and after twenty minutes, my uncle's farmhouse comes into view. Nothing has changed, it's still the same way I remember. The farmhouse is not big, but enough for him, with numerous trees surrounding the area. His 1987 Jeep Gladiator truck stands parked in front of the house, with the stable a stone throw away from the house. I park Tay's car next to the truck and run to the door, pounding it. He welcomes me with his AKA forty-seven in hand, “Jesus worm! I could have shot you.” Yep, I’m the worm. If the circumstances were different I would have rolled my eyes at him or swatted his arm but I threw myself at him and clenched on his
TAY I didn't mean to destroy her life, it was never my intention. I love her more than breathing itself. She has my soul; I cannot breathe without her and every second that passes my heart breaks into a million pieces. Keeping this from her was slowly eating me alive, it consumed me. Everyone runs away from people with HIV, and she was my only chance at love. The only one who stood by my side even though I insulted her so many times.I can't take this anymore; I must talk to her. I must explain to her that I didn't mean to hurt her. I grab my phone and check her location. I know it's creepy, but I can't help myself.Rosewoods hospital, it reads on the phone.At this hour…is she, okay? I can't help but ask myself.I hear roaring laughter downstairs, I put the phone on the bed and grab a t-shirt and walk out."Nate!" I exclaim, surprised. I didn't expect him to be back so soon."In the flesh," he says, and we do a bro hug."I wanted to surprise you guys, "he says, and Andrew runs his