Ugly

"When they say ,they hate themselves.

I wonder how the creator will feel, getting cursed by his own creation when he thought.

He made the most beautiful individual known as a human being."

                           - by suzangill©

.....................................................

               Vivian pov

I walk down the street, my mind repeating the words he just said to me.

"Wh***? He called me a whor*?

When he knows he was the first one I did it with.

The first man I trusted enough to give my soul and body.

Fresh tears leave my eyes and I see the people staring.

Why are they always staring? Don't they have anything else to do?

Ignoring I fasten my footsteps,to only have my ankle burn with the pain.

Lifting my leg and removing my heel ,I walk barefoot.

The pavement was surprisingly cooler in contrast to the humid weather.

The sun was going to set and a new day was going to begin.

I see my street approaching and I pull on the front of my coat. Trying to hide my clothes beneath.

It was not a safe neighborhood to live ,but I didn't had any choice.

It was either this or streets.

There was a group of guys standing in a corner and I just lower my gaze.

Rule 1 of staying out of trouble was to never look at them.

Not caring about my ankle,I limp and struggle to move faster.

When I cross them,I heard one of them whistle at me.

"Ohhh what a face man! Why don't you join us beautiful?"

Another says and I keep walking.

Rule 2 Never respond. Just ignore like they never exist unless....

I hear their footsteps approaching and my hand goes to my worn out bag.

My last resort and unluckily I have to use this last resort quite often these days.

This was the 3 rd time in a month,if it goes to that.

Which I think will go.

They block my path and my footsteps stop.

Their sickening words igniting my anger.

The pain of Ethan's words long forgotten as new difficulties arrive in my useless life.

"Don't ignore us doll. Just a beer? What say?"

I again don't respond. Not even looking up at them.

Hating to see what I was expecting to see in their eyes.

"The girl needs some motivation man-"

And that's when my eyes caught their movement. One of them was taking out his knife. Nothing new. This was expected of goons like him.

Pointing the knife at me, the person looks at his friends and smirks at me.

"Coming?"

He asks and that's when I look up. The anger in my eyes making their smiles to vanish.

Stepping closer I see them look at me in surprise.

I bet they never met someone like me. High time they learn the basic lesson of respect.

"Sure boys. But the place I want to go needs a reservation ?"

They again smile, looking at each other. Thinking I agreed to their pathetic offer.

"Sure doll. Tell us."

Wiping the fake smile from my lips,I hold the handle of the pistol and point it at them.

"In hell"

Their eyes widen and few even fall back in shock. The knife against my gun looking like a toy.

The person with the gun looks at my pistol and back into my eyes.

I step closer and hold it to his chest.

"Wanna join?"

I ask in my cold voice and then they run like their pants are on fire.

I look around to see that thankfully no one took notice.

My hands were shaking and I lower the gun.

Putting it back in my worn out bag.

Sighing I pick up my heels again and continue my journey home.

Home. If that's what I call this place.

Opening the rusty screeching door. I place my bag down and lay on the old sofa cum bed.

The scraped paint walls stare back at me and I lean back staring at the ceiling.

The slow rotating fan calms my mind as I recall today's events.

I met him.

I can't believe it.I thought I will never see him after that night.

My heart accelerates its beat on hearing his name alone.

His breath near my lips made me touch my dry ones.

How nice it felt.

But Alas. It was nothing more than a dream.

A dream that got replaced by a nightmare.

I don't deserve him. I don't deserve him!

Repeating it again and again. I try to forget him. Those eyes, that fragrance. Everything.

It was the very way I leaned to live and I can't go back to the road I left.

The road of heaven ,to lead on this path of hell.

"You can start tomorrow if you  think you can bear with my hatred....this being just a trailer for it "

He gave me the biggest opportunity of my life,with my job there I can feed and take care of myself better.

I can finally love myself.

I can heal myself.

Your hatred is nothing compared to what all I can take Ethan.

I have finally learned to love myself after so many trials and your hatred is too small to make me forget it.

Getting up and going to the washroom,I splash water on my face and stare at my reflection in the the cracked mirror.

My unique green eyes staring back at me.

I rarely see the mirror, except for when I apply make up.

I remember I didn't see my face in the mirror for 1 year after that accident.

Was I still beautiful? Why do people stare at me?

My fingers trace my face as I look closer and that's when I see it.

The scar which still looked fresh as yesterday.

Sighing I move back and unzip my dress, it falls down my shoulder and I let it slide down further.

My hands stop at my waist and I see it....the biggest scar that remains hidden.

The memories make tears slide down my eyes, and that's when I close my eyes.

Not able to see it any further.

I don't want your forgiveness Ethan. I don't want anything to do with you.

You think I came back for you? If only you knew I have learned to live without you.

The person who I should beg for forgiveness will forgive me,I knew her more than myself.

And that's the only thing I need.

I need Sophie's support and I know she is with me.

She always will be.

...................................................

School time is one of the best periods of one' life yet the most ironic one as well.

During class we wish for bell to ring and the school to end, while few years down the lane we wish to attend that same class again.

But till then everything as changed,friends and teachers are all gone leaving only those empty benches to stare at with nostalgia and resonance.

Filled with happy memories to remember and relive.

The memories that began then.

  ❣️ 💌  Summer of 2014💌❣️

        Richardon high school

The assembly got over and now we were standing outside our classes for inspection.

It is so boring but then we have to endure it.

"Did you guys hear? He is here for inspection!"

"Omg really?"

"It's rare but I am doomed man! He is so strict!!"

I heard boys talking near me.

Amelia( my close friend)looked at me with horror as she pointed towards her short skirt.

Her eyes were pleading me and I just nodded.

Leaning my back on the wall.

"Who?"

"You don't know morons! The discipline head guys! The Ice Prince of our college! He is going to give us detention !

Man! "

"What? He is coming today? Oh my heart is already fluttering guys!! The way he looked at me that day with those cold eyes...I swear my heart forgot to breathe"

You are right,these were the fangirls as always.

I looked at my right to see a group of 5 boys coming our way.

But in the centre stood he ,the very head of discipline and sports department.

A topper in all subjects and with a IQ double of mine.

Our college's Ice king aka my best friend

Ethan Lockwood

People straightened their backs and stood in attention as his eyes scanned the first row.

A boy followed him noting down the names he was saying.

His hands moving fast to catch up with his speed.

He approached our row and I could feel Amelia tugging on my sleeve.

"Please Sophie... please..I don't want detention especially from him... please!!"

He stood two people away,as soon as he stepped in front of me I looked up.

His brown eyes met mine and I could see warmness in them.

His eyes softened but I knew he wouldn't speak anything in front of everyone.

We refrained talking in public, this way I don't get labelled as the special/ prevelidged one.

I lifted my hands to show I have trimmed nails but he didn't even look at them.

Just looking at me with those soft eyes he moved towards Amelia.

His eyes lingered on the length of her skirt and he was going to tell her to step forward out of the line when I held her arm.

His eyes followed the movement of my hand and he kept silent.

Looking back at me,I merely moved my head down to show him she was with me and he nodded.

He silently moved forward and Amelia sighed in relief.

She clutched my hand thanking me and I smiled back at her.

I waited for the assembly to finally get over but who knew alot of drama was awaiting.

All of a sudden gasps filled the filled halls as everyone started whispering something.

Confused I looked towards my left to see what it was all about .

My eyes fell on a person standing out of the line.

Her hands turned into fists at her side as she refrained from looking up.

I just couldn't believe this like everyone else.

Standing in the line of defaulters was none other than our head princess Vivian Klein.

And in front of him stood our Ice Prince Ethan Lockwood.

"Name?"

He asked in his husky voice which made everyone look at him in admiration.

His voice was serious and deadly as always, leaving no end for negotiations.

She simply fidgeted.

Truly speaking I have never seen her fidgeting.

Being always treated as special,she never faced embarrassment and today our Ice prince was breaking all records.

People rarely call her by her real name, it's always the queen V.

Nothing more, nothing less.

She replied to only make him more irritated.

"V"

She answers and I saw him taking another step closer to her.

The audience went dead silent and I gulped

Oh come on Ethan? Why are you like this?

I could tell this is not going to end well,I know him enough to know that her answer just agitated him further.

"Is an alphabet your name,cause last time I checked names have meanings?"

She looked up at him this time.Her fists tightly holding her skirt.

She was scared or angry I didn't know.

But anyone at her place would have felt embarrassed.

It was normal.

Few snickers were heard but mostly the majority maintained silence.

"Full name miss V"

He said with impatience.

"Vivian. Vivian Klein"

Ethan nodded and looked back at the one writing down the names of defaulters.

The boys pen was shaking in his hands as he looked at V.

His eyes met Ethan's questioning ones and he abruptly nodded and started noting down.

"Default?"

The boy managed to ask

"Skirt ...3 inches shorter

T shirt...tucked out

Nails...."

He looked down at her but she refused to show her hands.

Still clenched into fists at her side she avoided his gaze.

"Entended and painted"

Not knowing how he knows she silently accepted the defaults placed on her.

"Sir....3...3 default call for..."

The boy looked shocked but Ethan had a look of indifference.

He looked back into the girls eyes before uttering his words out loud.

"Detention"

The halls were filled with gasps but he didn't mind.

Going towards the next row,he left behind chaos and disbelief.

I smiled knowing how my best friend is,but still today it felt wrong.

His words were too harsh, which was unusual.

My eyes linger on the girl who stood the odd one out of the line.

And that was when my friends I saw what no one other could.

A blush.

Not a blushers doing but my very best friends.

The very idea of the silent princess getting attracted by my Ice prince coldness,made me feel pity.

Why pity you will say? Trust me.

I knew Ethan more than anyone.

And he hated her kind with passion.

She was going to suffer if she continues with this and I just hope she doesn't suffers a rejection.

That her heart doesn't break.

If only I knew then,that not one but 3 hearts were going to break.

And mine was going to be one of them.

...................................................

          End of flashback