12: How can I be okay?

Baba’s car stopped in front of the big gate. He hit a button on the side of his car, and Hana’s door unlocked. She remained hunched in her seat, but her fingers trembled with rage and exhaustion. 

“You were lucky,” her father said. 

Among the emotions that gurgled in her stomach, luck was the last. Her eyes clenched shut. She forced the image of the doctor shoving his fingers into her vagina to check for an intact hymen or vaginal laxity out of her mind. The memory made her skin prickle. She squeezed her legs like it would wash away his touch. 

Kyle spent the night erasing the feel of those men’s hands on her body, but all it took was a trip to the doctor’s to remind her of it. He touched her even in places Kyle didn’t.  

Hana flung the passenger door open. Her foot was out of the car when her father’s voice stopped her. 

“No more funny stunts, Hana. You will be twenty-five soon. Don’t ruin something you’ve spent all y