Since leaving the abbey, I had a lot on my mind. Old memories I’ve thought I long forgot had bubbled up, giving me nightmares. I didn’t want to remember the pain those people put me through. But I’d rather focus on those painful memories than the thought, no the fact, that Mason slept with my younger… I repeat my YOUNGER sister! He doesn’t even like her, but he’s shagged her! Yet we obviously get along perfectly, and he won’t even touch me that way.
And I can’t even go off on him about it. Because if I do, I’m going to slip, and he’s going to know that it’s him I want. That it’s always been and always will be him. Even though he’s been with my sister, I still want him. Why did I have to fall for him? If I didn’t love him, if I never was attracted to him, if I’d managed to think of him like I do Ashton, my life
New chapters are posted Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.
When I gave her the go-ahead without knowing her plan, I knew that I was in for some trouble. I just wasn’t prepared for it to be this kind of trouble. I caught on quickly enough what she was doing. She was playing girlfriend. A role that she fit into rather easily. I wish this were real.This whole flat hunting like a real couple. I want it to be real. And I want that future moment we imagined in the living room of us cuddled up on the sofa in front of the fire. It was a picturesque dream. One I wish could happen. Maybe if I hadn’t slept with Elizabeth, it could, someday. But now? Why would she want me?It did catch my real estate agent off guard. And she seemed to be falling more into line. Though her comment about how the second bedroom would be perfect for a kid. That threw me. Still, I continued to play her game.
I don’t know who I’m angrier at right now. The old bird that interrupted the best kiss of my life. Mason for his indecision right now as I’m confronting him. Or myself for even thinking that kiss was real. That he could really want me. Why would he? Even my own parents didn’t want me. And he could have my sister. The one which our parents kept because she looks normal. Because she fits into their silver-spoon world of titles and money.Yep, I’m angrier with myself. I was stupid to think we could be something that his kiss meant something that it wasn’t all just a way to mess with his real estate agent. That there was more to our little game of playing boyfriend and girlfriend back in the flat. I’m so fucking stupid.And no
I couldn’t blame Adder for her being skeptical about my intentions. I’d bottle it up for so long. Why would she believe me? But I’ll prove it. I’ll make her see how serious I am. And to a degree, I can’t be mad at Ollie. He has a crush on her and figured that he was in the clear since I hadn’t made a move.“Yes, I don’t have the best track record with relationships. However, Adder isn’t any of those birds. Adder is special. I wouldn’t hurt her or leave her. Adder means more to me than anyone. She is the most important person in my life.” I said, applying more pressure to Ollie’s fist, making him wince.“You should go. Your coworkers are waiting for you.” I said, letting his fist go and pushing him back slightly. Ollie stumbled and held the wall for support, flexing his han
I’d thought we were going to some pub. It’s our usual. I know he only takes me to those places because I feel the most comfortable. Mason always gets weird looks when we go into those dingy pubs. But that’s because look at him, even when he tries to dress down, he still stands out as someone of authority and power.This place isn’t fancy, so I don’t feel too uncomfortable sitting here. And I’m pretty sure I could be introduced to the Queen and feel comfortable as long as I’m with Mason. With Mason. Am I with Mason? In what way am I with Mason? Are we here as friends? Is this a date?I’m so confused. He kissed me. He’s told Ollie I’m the most important person to him. He even called himself my steak dinner. I, I don’t know if I trust this. I mean, yes, I trust Mason with my life. But my
I can’t believe Elizabeth caused such a scene. This was not the way I wanted things to go. Of course, I planned to tell Elizabeth we couldn’t see each other again. She’s Adder’s sister. And beyond that, I’m not all that interested in her. I don’t even know why I went on the dates I did, let alone slept with her.No, that's not true. I know why. I’m just ashamed of it. I’m ashamed that I was only with Elizabeth because physically, she reminded me of Adder. But even then, she fell short. I’m a piece of shit. I slept with a girl because she slightly resembled the woman I truly wanted. I will be going to hell when I die. I’m sure of it.I settled things with the manager. Not the first time I’ve randomly paid for strangers' meals. Sometimes at restaurants like this, but more often, I arran
It was strange but a good strange as we finished eating talking about our plans for the flat. The idea that when we move, I won’t have my own room hasn’t really settled into my brain yet. I don’t even know how to begin to process that.It isn’t like I haven’t shared a bed with Mason before. We shared a bed for the remaining semester of his freshman year of university. But that was different. I was practically a kid back then. Sharing his bed now would be different. And that thought sent shivers through me, the good kind.“A penny for your thoughts, pet?” Mason questioned as we got into the car. “Hmm?” I blinked, looking over at him. I hadn’t even realized we finished lunch, let alone got in the car. “You look a bit lost in thought. Not often do you zone out like that. Everything okay?&rdquo
I don’t get embarrassed easily. But Gabby walking in on us is now the most embarrassing moment of my life. In all the years I’ve been sexually active, I’ve only been walked in one other time. And it was Ashton that walked in.The girl was more embarrassed than I was. I could have cared less that Ashton interrupted. But to have my little sister walk in, that was almost as bad as the idea of my parents walking in on us.“Never have I wished I was an only child so badly.” I grumbled, sighing, looking for my shirt. Adder snickered, drawing my attention to her. “What’s so funny, pet?” I asked but was smiling. “Is this what you’re looking for?” she asked, tugging at the shirt that she was wearing.Fuck, that’s hot. I’ve never let a w
HOLY SHIT! My body was buzzing as I shut the bedroom door behind me. That really just happened. I just had sex with Mason. I just had sex with Mason! I reached down and pinched my arm, wincing at the pain. Nope, not a dream. I tried to take a few calming breaths as I walked across the hall to the bathroom. My thighs and core muscles were tight, and each step hurt a little. Sure Iāve heard enough, read enough, and watched enough television to know the first time is going to hurt, and if you get shagged properly, it can leave you walking funny. I didnāt buy the bullshit. I thought it was all fabricated. And sure the first thrust hurt, Mason, isnāt a small man. Oh no, he was not small. Even if Iāve not seen any other cocks in person for comparison, I know heās probably above average. I can still remember coming face to face with what heās been hiding in those sl