Maybe a lot of you are thinking that my life is a series of déjà vu; nothing’s new and the same nightmares are happening. I don’t want to admit it, but I think you’re all right. From the very beginning, when I left home because I thought they hated me... it was a failure of judgment, a misjudgment that I wish I could turn around and do the right thing by asking them what the reasons for their hatred of me were. Even though I already talked with Papa, I don't think we've already settled the thing going on between us. We're still distant, but I'm happy that we've talked after my disappearance in their lives. I heard the coldness, but still he talked to me without getting mad, and that made me happy. Celine... my gorgeous older sister. I am buoyant that we've already made up. It filled my loneliness for all these days that we'd fought. As expected, she filled in the gaps in my frail heart. It's true that you'll think about the happiest moment in your life when you're at the edge of the r
When I was slowly regaining my mindfulness, the first thing I heard was the scream of the people around me. A mixture of undefined and metallic sounds were mixed into one, and it was causing my ears to hurt. My blurry vision wasn’t helping at all. My head still hurts, and I think that’s the main reason why I felt nauseous at this point. I tried to get myself out of the chair by moving to let the rope loosen. I know it’s a waste of energy and time, but it’s the only thing that I thought of to help me out from being tied. My fingers were still hurting and some of the blood had already dried while it was still dripping from them. I saw no one here, and it’s giving me second thoughts on what really happened when I was unconscious. Did someone come to save me, or is this just a part of my dream again? I don’t know how to distinguish reality from a dream anymore, because they are both the same to me. It’s a combination that resulted in a nightmare. I am timorous when I’m starting to realize
He left after I said that. I don’t know if I should be thankful or what that he obeyed what I told him. What happened in the past is still a puzzle to me. I don’t even know if what he said was true or if he was plotting something. After what happened to me, I am starting to doubt everyone, even myself. I have no control over it when I’m with someone that makes me lose my ability to manage myself. I know it’s absurd, but it is kind of true. I took a deep breath and got up from the bed. I want to have fresh air to breathe. I’m too used to the smell of four-cornered rooms. I want to be free. I want to have the liberty that I thought I would have when I came here. I went to the stand where my dextrose was hanging and decided to go outside of the hospital. This looked like a private one, and I know the bills would be higher than my savings. I shrugged the thought off and leisured myself with the freshest of fresh air here. I sat down on one of the in-built benches. I picked the one that is
I felt good after the talk with Maria. She’s so cute and nice at the same time. I know she will be a good woman when she grows up. Her mom called her when she was in the middle of telling me what happened when she was in her preschool classroom. She has a crush on her male classmate, and she told me to keep it a secret. I played with it and said that I wouldn’t tell anyone. She was happy when I said that. She started talking about how her male classmate kissed her on the cheek. She also told me that it was her first time and she was already feeling giddy by just thinking about it. She waved her hand as a goodbye gesture. Her cute little fingers are adorable! I want to take her home and put her in my pocket every time. I can’t contain her lovely smile. It provides me with the comfort I seek. Even though I was sad to see her doing a little hop towards her mother, I continued to wave my hand. It’s my first time talking to a child after a while. It felt new and old at the same point. The
“How can I be sure that you won’t do that? I mean, as you’ve said, you’re one of them. I am not dumb to trust my enemy, Taddeio.” I don’t want to regret my decision. I want to know everything before making one.“I’m not asking you to trust me, Cai. Because even if you don’t, I will still be by your side. You'd won me even in the past and you still have me now,” he said, staring intently into my eyes.I can’t afford to rush my decisions or make one when I’m still at the height of my emotions. It won't be a radical and rational action. Should I believe him? No, Merchaiass. He betrayed you. But where and when? Did he really betray me? I mean, he doesn't have any obligation to tell me everything, right? But he should, as he said that he liked me even before. "Am I good to be discharged?" As I was looking at my arm where the needle went through, I asked him. I was too tired to walk and asked the nurse about it. "Y-yes, but you should stay here first. It's advice from the doctor himself,"
I’ve been dismissed from the hospital the day after tomorrow, and I was slightly hoping that my days would be better. I don’t know how I will approach the people there after knowing the truth. I may only know a portion of the truth, but I am certain of one thing: my whole experience in the studio will forever change after what happened. I looked at the guy who was currently driving the car that I was in. He has been here by my side throughout the whole two days I was admitted. I'm still hesitant because he might change his mind and sell me to the group. Instead of being broken because of what he did, I might be more broken that he chose to do that in spite of telling me, no, promising me rather that he wouldn't. I don't think I may be ready because of that. I know I underwent different situations where my strength and abilities were put to test. I don't know if I could handle the pain of being stabbed for the second time... and worse, by the guy that I adore."Are you okay? You're qui
I woke up because of the noise coming from outside. I didn’t realize that I dozed-off after my back touched the soft cover of the bed. I got up from the bed with the pain in my neck and walked towards the direction where the door was located. I sneaked a peek and saw two young people, a boy and a girl, who were playing by themselves. They were enjoying themselves, and by just watching them, it made me feel what they were feeling. It softens my heart and I have caught myself watching them for quite a long time now. The girl saw me and showed me her cute smile. She has incomplete teeth, and judging from her appearance, she's probably seven to eight years old. She waved her hand at me and I waved back. She took a step to come forward, but stopped when the young boy held her arm and whispered something in her ear. My forehead creased when her innocent face suddenly turned into a grim one. Her eyes also change into something that a normal child can't do. I felt threatened because of her fie
Contacting my sister will never be easy because the number saved on my phone cannot be reached. Did she change her phone number again? She mentioned this before, that it's in their nature to change their phone numbers as they are in a dangerous business. Leaving a trace won't be a good idea. So right now, what I am doing is waiting and hoping that she'll call me. Yet, judging by her personality and the way she called me before, there was no pattern or exact time that she made her call. I looked at the guy who is currently lying on my lap while reading a book. It's actually new to me, seeing him like this, reading a book while his head was resting on my lap. This seems normal, and I wanted to leave it like this. I combed his hair as he said that he liked it. It made him remember his mom. When he said it, a warm hand engulfed my heart. It's just warming and sweet at the same time. I know he missed his mom despite his anger because of what happened. In spite of knowing each other for a s
Knowing all of this was holding my consciousness from waking up. Even though I already knew the issue about my father's buying Mama from the group, I still wasn't expecting that Papa would say that. He's not the type that will admit everything that he's done in the past. He's more than that.Right now, we're here sitting around the table while Mama is preparing everything. She hasn't changed that much; she's still the woman that I left months ago. I smiled at the thought that Papa wouldn't hurt Mama again because he promised me earlier."Is there something wrong, baby?" A hand was placed above mine when my gaze focused on my mother, who was taking care of Papa's food."Nothing... I'm happy, Tads. That everything is in its proper place. I know that... Nevermind, my heart is full of joy now, and I don't want that to change." I smiled after saying it. I don't want to start a conversation about what happened before we went here. My conscience won't be happy if I ruin the mood right now.
After a lot of debating between me and Taddeio, we came to the decision to go to my hometown and talk to my parents. I need to do it for me to live without doubt, fear, and misery."Are you okay?" I looked at the man in front of the steering wheel. He's one of those who stayed in my darkest times. I held his hand above mine and smiled before answering, "I'm okay because you're here with me. Thank you.""What's with you today? Where's my baby? Is this really you, Cai?" I rolled my eyes at him and threw his hand back to him. I know I'm starting to become softer, but I don't think it's a bad idea, right? I mean, we're boyfriends now, and we should do what boyfriends do."Forget about it. Jerk," I said, lowering my voice when saying he's a jerk. There's something in me that doesn't want to call him like that. I mean, I'm quite shy by just thinking that he's my boyfriend and I'm new to this thing."I'm also happy, baby," was blurted out by Taddeio.I didn't mind him and watched the trees
"I clothed you when your father threw you out! You can't do this to me!" I was still in my seat, tied. While Taddeio was threatening Mr. Manore, he's not holding anything now. Maybe he threw it somewhere. "You didn't. I worked hard, Pops. You only helped, and you're not an exemption to the rule. You made it with me, and yet you, yourself, did it. Now, deal with the consequences." The old man was shocked to death when Taddeio aimed to hit him with a hammer. I didn't know where he'd got that, but it stopped in mid air as if Taddeio was controlling his hand not to hit Mr. Manore."I know that you couldn't do it, young man. Our lives have been interconnected ever since you got close to me. I tried to stop them, but they wouldn't listen to me. Believe me, Taddeio, it wasn't my intention to go against your back," Mr. Manore pleaded, his hands clasped and attempting to kneel on one leg. I saw how Taddeio started to bring down the hammer while the landlord was assisting him. "Right, you d
"Are you okay?" I asked Polius when he hadn't moved from his place for quite some time now. Maybe what Celine had said had made a big impact on him. I thought they were okay and saw happiness in his eyes when my half-sister, Celine, confirmed their relationship. "I don't know," he answered and shook his head. "Are you okay with this? All of what's happening now. Are you really a part of the group? Or are you just doing this because of her?" My hand formed a fist and tried to have the rope loosen."Don't ask me like that, Merchaiass. I am doing this because I want to." He's swayed. I'm certain that he is. He doesn't want to do this and was forced to due to my sister's request."Okay, if you say so. But remember this, Polius, regrets come after what you thought would be the best. If your mind tells you that it's wrong, then it is. Our mind serves as the protector and the doer, while the heart is only for pumping, producing, and delivering blood. Nothing more." I remained silent after
My shoulders, which had been deprived by force, went numb when I took all the words that came from my sister's mouth right through my soul. I didn't even realize that I was already tearing up when Celine hadn't wiped my tears. I looked at her and she was doing it too. It's hurting me... It's like a spear that went straight to my heart. The sensation wasn't new, but it was heightened and I couldn't contain it. I need to let it out, scream, and divert my attention for me to be okay. Right now, I am not thinking straight and I could hurt someone that'll block my way. My momma was my life. I remembered everything about my accident, and she's the one I contacted and told everything about it. We were talking like prisoners, as my father wouldn't stay put if he discovered that mom and I still had communication. When I called him that night to ask about my accident, I assumed we were already fine, but we weren't.never be. My mother told me that she was physically abused by my father every ti
The wind is hustling, yet the sun can burn your skin. The mild sound of the waves hitting each other relaxes my brain. The ocean is clear, as is the sky. The clouds were smiling and making sure that the weather would be fine. The sand touching my legs gives me comfort that I never knew would be there. It's been what? Six years? Yes, it's been six years since what happened to me, to Dos, and Taddeio. He helped to move on from things that happened in the past. It's not easy, but Taddeio didn't give up. He made sure that I was alright all the time. He put me first before himself. When we first came here, I was distant—to everyone. I don't know, maybe I needed to take a break from them. Or from myself. Celine and Polius were here for the first two months, and they went back when Polius had to report to his station. And to answer the question, yes, Polius came back as a police officer after taking a year's break because of my sister. For the past years, I hadn't had a normal conversation w
"Stop what you are doing now, Triplets." The coldness in the voice of Taddeio can make a person gasp for air. "And why would we, Taddeio? Please give us a reason." Josef said, while his hands that were keeping my fingers up seemed to be restless. He was afraid and tried to cover it up with his normal voice. He's not stuttering, but his body reacted otherwise. He's afraid of Taddeio."Because I said so." Taddeio answered shortly. He looked at me with his sympathetic eyes and asked if I was okay. I gently nodded and smiled at him. He averted his gaze and stopped at Josef. The whole room was silent and no one dared to speak. It was broken when Hector stepped in and said something to Taddeio."You're afraid... that we'll do something to your lover.""I wasn't, Hector. Because I know he's not a softy just like you've known him. My baby has been a fighter since he was born." I don't know why my eyes are starting to be teary, but I stopped them from falling."Oh, is he? Are you?" Hector sa
We were here for how much longer we'd known. There's no sort of time indicator located in this room, and we don't have any phones to check, nor can we check it. We were tied and we looked like sinners that were awaiting their punishments. We spent minutes, maybe hours, trying to get the rope out of our bodies, but it was tied impermeable. We lose hope after doing our all just to break free. My eyes had incidentally gone to Dos, the real Dos or Paula, who was sitting next to me. She seemed to be having deep thoughts. Our eyes met when she turned to me. The difference was that her face had lit up. "Dos..." I called her. "Hmm?" She hummed and smiled at me. How can she smile at a time like this?"Is... is Violet your real mother? And Sarah is your real grandmother?" I don't know if I asked something right, but I want a clarification even though I've already heard it when they had their confrontation."Sadly, yes, Merch. I thought she was a hostage of Raphael, and I confirmed it to him.
I thought everything would be fine when Dos and I successfully went out of the room, but what was awaiting us was worse than I expected. Life is truly a series of unexpected events; everything has a reason, and you can't stop it from happening. What is meant to happen will happen, and everything that you'll do to not let it occur will be merely a tiny waste when destiny is involved. Playing our lives is what makes her happy. Seeing our pain intrigues her desire to continue doing what she's currently doing. She loves to torture us with her different schemes. She lets us be happy for a moment, then it will all vanish and be replaced by sadness. I don't want it to happen anymore. I am tired and wrongly used by destiny's power to overrule our lives. We are the creators of our destiny and are not controlled by it. Unless you change and nurture your beliefs, change won't come and your life will forever be ruined. We are stuck on the first floor, and even though we are on our fifth attempt