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32. Zayne

Author: Jane Writes
last update Last Updated: 2024-10-29 19:42:56

I've made thinking about her an art form. I've had plenty of time to practice and perfect my craft in the years we've been together: I paint her profile into the swirling maze - like shapes that draw themselves on the backs of my eyelids when I shut them tight. I compose music that sounds like the blue of her eyes, so deep and mesmerizing that looking into them can feel like drowning.

I've written odes to her lips, hymns to her hands, an elegy to the feel of her leaving my bed, the loss of that warmth. I think about her intentionally, when things are slow at work and I'm bored out of my mind. I think about her idly, when I'm in the car, headed back home where I continue missing her. I think about her when she's next to me, and when she's not. I think about her when I'm in the shower and when I don't fall asleep.

I think about her as the woman I wanted so much, the first time we met, and as the stubborn, gentle soul that touched my heart, the second time we met, properly met. Our enco
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  • His Kind Of Woman   33. Zayne

    My mind goes back to the years I spent in the orphanage, way before I met Helbert. It all started after I got back home from my mother's funeral and my father threw her favorite vase at me. People said his pain turned into something ugly, but the truth was, it had always been there, lurking beneath the surface, poisoning our home. I wonder what would have happened if I didn't run away that night. The mere thought sends a shiver down my spine. I never saw him since that night, but the pain, the fear, the trauma... it's all here. And sometimes, I believe it's the price I had to pay for running away. Sometimes I believe that if I didn't leave, everything would have been okay. I would have met my mother again and avoided all the heartbreak I had to go through. I remember the cold walls and unfamiliar faces, the sense of abandonment that seemed to linger in every corner. It was a world entirely different from what I had known, a place where the echoes of my past were drowned out by the c

  • His Kind Of Woman   34. Myla

    He had gone through so much. That thought weighed heavily on my mind as I watched Zayne from across the room. I had heard snippets of his story, whispers in the corridors, and hushed conversations among colleagues, but hearing it from him felt different. With every sentence that escaped his lips, I felt myself drawn further into his world. The hardships he had endured, the losses he had suffered - they unfolded before me like chapters in a book, each page revealing a deeper layer of his pain. I listened intently, offering a safe space for his truth to be heard. It was a privilege, to be entrusted with his story, and I couldn't help but admire his courage for sharing it with me. He didn't hold back, exposing his vulnerabilities, the wounds that had yet to heal. He carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, yet refused to let it crush him, and I'm proud of the person he's becoming. The room falls silent, all eyes turned toward Zayne, awaiting his words. And I watch as he ta

  • His Kind Of Woman   35. Myla

    "You didn't call." I step inside Zayne's new office, slowly closing the door behind me. "Because it didn't seem like she wanted me dead. I had a fun time with Olivia, she's pretty fun." He's sitting on the chair in front of the desk as if it's not his, and it makes me wonder if what I'm thinking about is right. I walk to him, carefully sitting on his lap while he gives me a surprised but amused look. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss his cheek. "Were you worried?" His surprise quickly turns into a warm smile as he wraps his arms around me, holding me close. "Yes. Olivia isn't someone to take lightly, and her being nice all of a sudden did raise some concerns." "She's always been nice, Zayne. A little intimidating and sometimes blinded by her own insecurities. We all have layers, after all, and sometimes it takes time and understanding to see beyond the façade we put up." "I suppose you're right." He chuckles softly, his fingers gently caressing my back as he listens attentiv

  • His Kind Of Woman   36. Zayne

    Blue is my favorite color. Not because it's the color of the sky or the ocean or any of the clichés people often associate with it. No, it's my favorite color because of the way her eyes shine with that gorgeous shade of blue, drawing me in as she fights to keep them open. "Pretty," I call, my fingers tracing the contours of her face, following the path of her delicate cheekbones. She smiles and her eyelashes brush against my fingertips, like a soft whisper. "How do you feel?" She's naked, but all I can think about is how her smile is a masterpiece, painting my world with joy and warmth. I just had the best sex in my life, but all I want is to hold her close and enjoy the tender feeling of her being right next to me. "Good." She breathes and her voice, like a gentle melody, lingers in the air, intertwining with the beating of our hearts. I lean in, my lips grazing against her forehead, leaving a gentle kiss. "You're beautiful," I whisper softly and she kisses the tip of my nose, m

  • His Kind Of Woman   37. Myla

    "I'm so happy for you." Daniel and Clarissa are in our house and Mom can't be any happier. We've always been a family, but seeing them together now feels different. I can tell how much Daniel loves Mom and I can't let myself be the reason they're not comfortable in their own happiness. It's time Mom gets her happy ending. "You and your mother deserve all of it." I smile and hug Clarissa who opens her arms for me. "Thank you, Clarissa. I'm happy we can celebrate this with both of you." Daniel is still hesitant around me and I realize I never really apologized for what happened the day I stormed out of the house, leaving the two of them guilty for something they're not supposed to feel guilty about. Love is never guilty, it's pure and unconditional and it's a beautiful emotion that needs to be celebrated. It's time for me to acknowledge that and make things right. Taking a deep breath, I approach him. "I owe you an apology, do I not?" I smile when he holds my mother's hand and looks a

  • His Kind Of Woman   38. Zayne

    Panic claws its way up my throat, choking me, as I struggle to process the figure standing in the distance. The memories I've tried so desperately to bury surge to the surface, and fear grips me like icy talons, paralyzing my body as I meet the haunting gaze of the man who tormented my childhood. His presence feels like an intrusion, reminding me that I can never truly escape the ghosts of my past. My mind races, searching for a way out, but I'm trapped. Images flash before my eyes—bruised skin, shattered dreams, and the sound of his cruel laughter echoing in the dark corners of my mind. It's as if time has folded in on itself, dragging me back to the nightmare I fought so hard to leave behind. I can almost taste the metallic tang of fear on my tongue, feel the stinging pain of his blows against my skin. I hate this. I hate him and I hate myself. It's been years, so many fucking years, but no matter how far I've come, I can't shake the feeling of vulnerability that washes over me wh

  • His Kind Of Woman   39. Zayne

    "Zayne." My name sounds far from familiar. I still turn around to look at her as she stands there, worry written all over her face. I watch as she intertwines her fingers with mine, pulling me into her embrace while I'm wondering about how I'd keep on living from now on. I feel immense hate that I can't put on anyone but myself, and I'm drowning in it. It's a darkness that only I can bear, but it's suffocating me. "You'll be okay." I know if she says so, I'll be fine. Eventually, someday, but not now. Now it feels like I'm sinking in self loathe and despair. I hug her tighter, her head against my chest. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Myla smells of hope and healing, and comfort. So I hold on to her as if she's my lifeline. I feel small in her hold, hidden and protected as if nothing can ever hurt me. She might not know it, but she had saved me from everything and myself. We cancel the dinner and we drive back home. During the whole ride, she doesn't let go of my hand, rubbi

  • His Kind Of Woman   40. Myla

    Seeing Zayne be happy and comfortable with himself brings me joy that I can't put into words. A weight had been lifted off both our shoulders and now we can love each other better. We're sitting in the meeting room waiting for the others to arrive, and he brushes a strand of hair off my face. His touch is gentle and the smile he gives me makes me melt. "Your eyes are beautiful." He whispers softly and his words sink into my heart, igniting a flame of affection and desire. I playfully bat my eyelashes at Zayne, feigning surprise. "Oh really? Well, I guess I'll have to start charging admission for people to gaze into them." "I would bankrupt myself a thousand times over just to have the privilege," His words send a shiver down my spine, and butterflies take flight in the depths of my stomach. "If the world knew the depth of beauty that lies within your eyes, they would willingly give up everything they own just for a fleeting glimpse." "Were you always this good at flirting? You're

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  • His Kind Of Woman   48. Myla

    "Pretty, do you have to meet him?" Zayne wraps his arms around me as I look in the mirror and I can see how worried he is. "I mean it makes sense the two of you should talk things out, after all, but I don't know. I just want you to be safe.""I don't think Alex would ever think of hurting me." I wince. "At least not physically.""Emotional pain can be as damaging, Myla." His voice is so soft as he pulls me closer, his warmth enveloping me. "I can't help but worry about what it might do to you."I turn to face him, cupping his face in my hands. "We both need to have this conversation. I need to understand things and he needs a chance to at least try and explain himself. It's been eating at me for a while." I'd like to have a conversation with Alex because deep down, I'm still hoping that he wasn't entirely pretending to be my best friend. Because I know that at some point, he genuinely cared about me. Zayne's eyes soften, and he gently intertwines his fingers with mine. "I know. I kn

  • His Kind Of Woman   47. Zayne

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  • His Kind Of Woman   46. Myla

    I stand in front of the house as I take a deep breath, calming down my racing heart. When I step inside, there's no sign of life. The kitchen is in pristine order, as if untouched for days. The place is very quiet and Keith's words hit me hard. He was right. I wonder if Zayne is alright. Our bedroom door is closed and I slowly approach it, my hand trembling as I reach for the doorknob. The laughter, the arguments, the stolen kisses in this very room feel like a distant dream when the door creaks and I catch a glimpse of Zayne huddled on the bed, his face buried in his hands. My heart sinks, and I rush to his side, kneeling down to meet his gaze. "Zayne," I whisper, my voice filled with concern. "Are you okay?" He looks up at me, his eyes so red and filled with pain. He looks at me for a moment, taking in my sudden presence and it breaks my heart to see him like this. He tries to speak, but his voice catches in his throat as he wraps his arms around me as if clinging to the last shre

  • His Kind Of Woman   45. Myla

    I spent the past few days locked in my room, the blanket over my body not able to provide the warmth I desperately wish for. Time seems to stand still as I gaze at the world through my window, my eyes tracing the distant horizon. It carries on with its usual rhythm, laughter drifting in from a distance, mingling with the sound of passing cars and chirping birds. But in my room, I'm trapped. Zayne had been calling and texting but I had been unable to bring myself to answer. Although I miss him so much I find myself overwhelmed with emptiness, I don't think I'm ready to face anyone, actually. The thought of trusting someone is disturbed by the thought of them deceiving me, and I find myself questioning if this pain is worth the risk. Zayne said he wanted to protect me. Mom said she wanted to protect me. But all they did was make me feel suffocated as if I were a fragile bird trapped in a cage. I sigh and stand up from my bed, walking out of my room when I stop in front of the mirror

  • His Kind Of Woman   44. Zayne

    She's not home. When I can't find her anywhere, my heart sinks into a deep well of worry. I quickly grab my phone, trembling fingers fumbling to dial her number. Each ring feels like an eternity as I anxiously wait for her to pick up, but there's no answer, only the cold, impersonal voicemail greeting. I stand in the middle of the empty living room, my footsteps echoing in the silence as if mocking my growing unease. I never wanted to imagine a situation like this. I never wanted to hurt her. The thought of losing her make my breath catch in my throat. Guilt floods over me, adding to the worry that grips my heart. I figure she's back home with her mother so I call her, and when she answers, I feel a flicker of hope ignite within me. She says Myla is home and I let out a shaky sigh of relief, feeling the tension release from my body. Instinctively, I take my car and drive to her house because her mere presence can bring me to life again. But I know what awaits me and it breaks my hear

  • His Kind Of Woman   43. Myla

    I stand at the door, staring at Zayne as he presses a knife to Alex's neck, not really sure if I want him dead or not. I thought our movie might end with us being friends again if we tried enough, but the ending credits are rolling and my heart sinks to the deepest pit of my stomach when the realization hits me. Alex was never my best friend. My whole life had been a lie. The people I once cherished, who I believed would always be there for me, had proven to be the very ones who would bring me to the edge of my own destruction. Mom, Alex, and now Zayne. "Myla... I-" His voice trails off as he tries to find the right words, but his actions have already spoken volumes. He lets go of the knife and it clatters to the ground as I take a step back, wrapping my arms around myself because I'm the only one I can trust now. I'm the only one who can protect myself now. "Is it true?" It feels as if I was separated from my body, and now I'm watching her almost from a distance. My whole body is

  • His Kind Of Woman   42. Zayne

    I stare at the video recordings playing on my laptop, blood boiling in my veins. My fists are so tight my knuckles are pale and strained. The thought of her fragile heart shattering into a million pieces makes me want to break Alex's face. Watching the recording feels like a knife twisting in my gut. I asked Keith some time ago to find out why I didn't get Myla's job application and here I am watching someone hand it to Alex in the parking garage with a bag I assume filled with stacks of cash. My mind is filled with unanswered questions about who the man is and why is Alex involved in this. I can't brush off how shady all of this is because the next thing I watch is another recording of Alex crumbling the papers before he threw them in a nearby trash can and got on top of Myla's motorcycle, driving away as if he had just committed the perfect crime. The sight of him callously destroying Myla's application makes me rage. I remember her telling me about how she had been hopeful that

  • His Kind Of Woman   41. Myla

    Alex was my best friend. He's the kind of person to remind you of oversized flannels, baggy jeans, and messy hair. I loved that about him, he was effortlessly cool and the sweetest guy you'll ever meet. He had the ability to make me feel seen and he'd go out of his way to brighten my day whether that be cracking a joke about how he looked like he just rolled out of bed or surprising me with my favorite treat when I least expected it.He felt like adventure and freedom rolled into one. He was hungry for the unknown and new experiences. While others hurried through life, Alex would pause to appreciate the way the sunlight filtered through the trees or the sound of rain on a rooftop. He taught me to slow down. Yet here I am, racing through our memories together while standing across from him. His humor was like a ray of sunshine, brightening my world and reminding me not to take life too seriously. But now it feels like he's sucking his teeth into me, bleeding me dry of everything I onc

  • His Kind Of Woman   40. Myla

    Seeing Zayne be happy and comfortable with himself brings me joy that I can't put into words. A weight had been lifted off both our shoulders and now we can love each other better. We're sitting in the meeting room waiting for the others to arrive, and he brushes a strand of hair off my face. His touch is gentle and the smile he gives me makes me melt. "Your eyes are beautiful." He whispers softly and his words sink into my heart, igniting a flame of affection and desire. I playfully bat my eyelashes at Zayne, feigning surprise. "Oh really? Well, I guess I'll have to start charging admission for people to gaze into them." "I would bankrupt myself a thousand times over just to have the privilege," His words send a shiver down my spine, and butterflies take flight in the depths of my stomach. "If the world knew the depth of beauty that lies within your eyes, they would willingly give up everything they own just for a fleeting glimpse." "Were you always this good at flirting? You're

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