"Isabella, sweetheart, she's gone"
Hearing Miranda say this was Ice water as my wake-up call every morning, I replay those words Miranda whispered to me that afternoon. They seem to be the only words I have stuck in my head as I watched my mother's chest finally slow down. Tears broke free and the guttural cry that left me broke me even more because it wasn't me.
Evie was there and Miranda was there but I was so alone that I wouldn't have minded a simple out at that moment.
But I couldn't leave my only living relatives behind because I simply couldn't cope. So instead of the fear I had about being alone or feeling exhausted by that feeling, I did the one thing I knew would work... I shut it out. I shut down and I left the living room once they took my mom.
"Izzy, please eat. You need to eat" Every single waking moment Evie would have a bottle of water for me and something snack-ish. I wasn't hungry but somehow I couldn't voice those words.
"Cody's here," she said so softly while putting my hair behind my ear and wiping at my tears.
Sitting up in the bed I spot my 6 foot plus cousin standing on the doorway, casual clothing and a sad smile on his lips.
"I won't ask how you are kid. Your pufferfish face gives it away" I shouldn't laugh. God I shouldn't want to laugh but he didn't need to hide back his usual charm and charisma just because something had happened. Something so out of our reach and nature's way of life but I do.
I laugh so hard I'm borderline sobbing while standing and heading his way.
"What do I do now?" That's the only question heavy enough to leave my mouth. 'What do I do now?'
"You pick up your broken heart and you piece it back together the best you can. You get out of bed and you take life with both hands and hope to god that you live a full and happy life. Your mom wouldn't want you to be here like this and as much as it pains me to see you so broken and miserable, I believe you've got a new job to prep for?" He says with such devotion and love that I say against his hold.
Cody and Evie are so different but they are also so similar to one another and it's nice to have someone not beat around the bush.
➿
'You pick up your broken heart and you piece it back together the best you can'
Cody's words reverberate in my mind in the weeks after everything that's happened and I do just that. I settle into a small routine, I got myself a new apartment with shit everything, simply because I can't afford much else and despite my cousins telling me they will get me somewhere better, my protests of doing it alone made them step back.
Not without a grunt here and a remark there but I closed that door the moment they tried to open it.
Four weeks after my mother's passing I started to get into a small routine of getting up, showering, washing and working. Though I started with simple tasks of designing some of my own creations I also had ideas delivered to me to sample.
By now I had settled in and had been on one of the virtual meetings with most of the designers to navigate ideas or learn new ways to expand on techniques and I enjoyed that sense of familiarity in my now everyday life.
I managed to create a makeshift office in my new apartment after giving the landlord the notice for my mom's apartment and used the little money she left me to get my own small apartment but it will be home one day.
Walking off the plane and into the New York breeze, my phone buzzes straight away. Pulling it out, I groan at Dunken's name across the screen. He's a nice boss and works remotely as well but in my opinion, he doesn't know how to text I don't think and it gets boring having to listen to him rant. A LOT.
"Morning Dunken" I say to him on the phone. He's my boss and I respect him but he's also very opinionated.
Last week my design ideas were flunky and needed texture to become more alive.
Fucking texture in a simple sketch.
"Good morning Isabella. I see you've landed in New York for your 4-night stay"
"Yes. Although I don't understand why I had to stay for four nights when I'm only viewing today and tomorrow" I say as I check where the hell I'm supposed to be going.
Look for the exit dumbass.
It's October and New York I can't wait to see all the Fall weather surrounding every part of the city! Oh and the Caramel Mocha that they now have in Starbucks! But first...a coffee from a regular place near my hotel.
"It's a four-day job because the last 2 days gives everyone time to look around and explore before coming home," he says so casually which makes me feel happy I guess.
I've never been to New York and maybe if Cody is free, I might be able to meet up with him.
"Alright sir, thank you. I'll check in with the company page tonight and let you know what the client has suggested she wants"
"Alright, dear. And Isabella"
"Yes sir?"
"You work remotely, you got yourself this job because you proved to me that you are capable of doing this job and I have put all my trust and faith into you so please for the love of god, don't report back to me every 20 minutes" he laughs into the phone which makes me feel better.
"Alright, sir. Have a good afternoon"
I hang up the phone once he's finished wishing me a happy October in New York and I pull up Cody's name.
Not wanting to call I simply send a text.
Isabella: Landed a good gig for a job. In New York if you want to meet at some point soon?"
Minutes pass and as I'm heading through their security and waiting, my phone vibrates with an incoming text.
Cody: Of course I'll meet you. Give me a time and place and I'll be there. Glad you're here.
Isabella: I'll get back to you on that one
My plan to go straight to the cafe backfired when I realised just how heavy my suitcase was. The company car awaits me when I get out of the airport and I let them lift my suitcase into the boot as I sit back and relax.
The drive to the hotel was quicker than expected and check-in didn't go too bad, my luggage would get sent to my room by the hotel porter staff so I made a quick getaway to the coffee shop down the street.
After checking my notifications and ordering my drink, I stand at the counter just randomly scanning the crowd for god knows what until my eyes land on around a dozen men sitting at the back of the café.
A set of eyes already staring at me, scanning me from head to toe and I can't help the sudden urge to go over there and pull his eyes from his sockets.
The bell above the door chimes to indicate someone entering, obviously, and my head does a double take when Cody waltzes into the Café with a solemn look on his face until our eyes meet.
"Fuck!" He smiles and rushes over to give me a big hug.
"Jesus Christ, this is your daily wear?" I ask as I take in his fitted suit and his tattoos peeking out of his collar which I didn't see when he visited last month.
"You like?"
"You look different. Has Evie or Aunt Jenna seen you in this outfit before?" I ask with a teasing tone.
"Do you really think if my mother had seen me in this suit that she would let me go without holding so many photos on social media?" He laughs and I can't help but smile.
I turn my head back around to the men also wearing dark suits who are casually on their phones except for the guy looking at me. Scowling in his direction I take my caramel mocha from the guy who served me and turn back to Cody.
"Are you with them lot?" I ask with a hint of distaste in my voice.
"Indeed I am," he says while standing so casually it's annoying.
"Well, can you tell the moron staring at me to quit it out? It's painful to see and I don't think he would take well to rejection" I say with my thumb still over my shoulder pointing in their direction.
Cody's eyes go wide and then he purses his lips as he stares just behind my back with a shit-eating grin on his face.
"Boss"
Boss?
Slowly turning around I'm greeted with the chest of a broad man. "Alright," I say with a slow breath finally looking into golden brown eyes.
He raises a singular eyebrow which irritates me more. What's his problem?
"Okay. Tough crowd today. Cody I will ring you later" I say with a smile that doesn't quite reach my ears.
He gives me a hug and lets me know that he will call and stop by my hotel later on once I'm back.
Glancing at the guy who approached I salute him and make my way to the door in a hurry while listening to my cousin laugh.
It has been 9 days since I've spoken to my girl. Once I found out what really happened the night Dante came home from throwing out the 'Trash' I couldn't believe my ears. But let's just say I'm thankful for my mother and father being at home."You going to be pissed at your brother for life now?" My dad asked me the night I split my brother's lip, gave him a black eye, broke his nose and broke 3 of his fingers on his shit hand. I walked out angrier than I had ever been."No. But right now he can fucking do one. He had no right""What happened between you and this woman?" He asks as he takes a sip of his whiskeySighing I take a sip of my own drink. It had been a hell of a night of sparring with some of my men, getting angry over minor situations and a woman I couldn't get out of my head.A woman who continuously beat herself up over losing our baby. I knew it wasn't her fault but she was adamant that it was all her fault. No amount of words I could say would make her guilt or fear go
4 days is what it took to do a 12-hour drive.I took 4 days to get from one state to another. On my way to Chicago, I did a bit of sightseeing in different places, I went to a few restaurants I've always wanted to travel to and did a bit of exploring during the day but slept at a simple motel.One of the first stops was New Jersey. It's as big as I believed it to be and I managed to go exploring while I was there. Visited one of the attractions which was Cape May, tried some of their famous wines and sat near a bonfire on the beach which was lovely.By day 3 I had gone through Pennsylvania, Ohio and Illinois and all three trips were heaven! So many beautiful sights I caught on the new phone I have and exploring some of the things each state does without boarding a plane or leaving America, I really did enjoy myself.It's been 5 days since I've seen Lorenzo. I haven't switched my phone on just in case they could still track it but I did remove my SIM card and also bought a new phone to
My plans backfired.I didn't want to go over to her house and lie to her face.I don't know what else I can do. When the box came to the house, the letter inside the envelope was what made me look at everything else gathered inside.It wasn't cryptic. It wasn't too long or too short. It was straight to the point.Lorenzo.Our time months ago, it has been proven that it was a magical night.I'd hate to think you'd abandon me and your unborn child.I know the kind of work you do. I know the type of man you are. I also happen to know that my child- Our child will be just like you as well. Everything about this is precious and a shock but I need you.One night together doesn't define what we could have.Here is a photo of the scan of our little boy, I'd like to think you'd accept my apology for springing this on you but you never returned my calls and you also never get seen about on your own so I couldn't talk to you about it. And then you became obsessed with another woman but if you wa
A pregnancy test.$100,000A Range Rover SUV jet black.The words he's spewing seem so far away. It doesn't seem like a man who wants me, but then again, does he really want me? Did he want me this afternoon, or was it just a punishment?"And what do I tell my cousins? Lorenzo?" I ask through the lump in my throat."Tell them you're travelling. Lorenzo won't buy it though so tell him it's space to think. He will offer alternatives but I need you to leave and stop screwing with my brother's head. He's the Don of a crime family. He doesn't need you."No, because he's got his new life waiting for him.A life I couldn't give him."Fine" I say but I feel my heart shattering all over again. He wants me gone and to stay gone so I will. I'll stay gone and I'll do what I need to do in order to survive."Oh and Isabella""What?" I ask without looking at him."I'm sorry you lost your baby. I know this is extremely hurtful and not the time, but Lorenzo needs an heir or heiress. You couldn't give
"Isabella?" He says my name with that Italian accent that I love so much.My heart is hurting with him being here but it's also kicking me for not feeling like I could be honest with him to begin with."Yes?" I answer."I want to kiss you so bad. I want to take you to bed and I want to lay with your head on my chest. I want you to hear how fast my heart is beating.Because right now it's beating so fast I feel like it might explode"His words shouldn't make me feel warm. They shouldn't make me feel anything.But they do.I take his hand and I lead him across the hall. I know I shouldn't and I know it's going to hurt when he leaves but I need to feel him. I need to hold him even if it's for one last time.Maybe I can convince myself that everything will be okay. He will leave and move on but my heart isn't in the same cahoots as it should be with my brain. My heart is telling me to love him still. To ask him to give me another chance. To love me. To forgive me but my pride won't allow
2 hours before."You're getting slow old man" Rafael says as he dodges my next punch."Slow? Fuck off.""Seriously man, what's going on?""I'm sorry if I'm not fucking sunshine. I lost my woman and I lost my unborn child the same fucking week" I say as I throw punch after punch his way. I'm only 29. Almost 30 but the fact that I have lost so much in such a short period of my life is my karma.All the bad things I have done and all the lives I've taken, the men I have lost on the way make me feel rage so deep today that everything I have felt since Isabella walked out of my house makes me feel angry.Pain. Anger. Grief.The whole fucking bunch and it kills me to watch her this way. It hurts so deeply that she hasn't even left her apartment unless it's to go out with Cody. That I know of.A few days ago, I had followed him once again and she was wearing black leggings, a hoodie and sunglasses paired with heavy black boots. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail and she looked underweight.