I hug my parents goodbye. It’s been a long and fun week but I need to get back to work. I need to get back to Joburg. Gabriel says goodbye to my parents too. They make both of us promise we’ll visit soon. My mother gave me a stern talking toast night. “You need to back home more often Ryan,” she said seriously. I knew she was serious because she only uses my name when she’s displeased with something I did. The rest of the time she calls me darling. Gabriel and I have a 3-hour drive, hopefully, this time it will be less awkward. I smile at him when we walk to his car. “What?” he asks “Can I drive?” I say wiggling my eyebrows at him. He hands me the car keys and says nothing. I jump up and down excitedly. I look at my dad and show him the keys. He gives me a thumbs up smiling hard. Gabriel opens the driver’s door and slips in beaming with excitement. Gabriel gets in and I put my seat belt on and press the start button. The engine comes to life and I let out a little scream of excite
“Welcome back” Max says when we enter his office. I take my seat opposite him on the desk. “It feels good to be back”. I say going through contracts that need his signature I browse through each and hand them to him so he can add his signature. “I had a very long week. I had a glimpse of what this office could be if you ever left and I didn’t like it.” He adds looking at me seriously. “It’s nice to know I’m valued,” I say handing him the last of the contracts. I gather the one he has already signed and stands up. “I’ll get these to legal so they can be sent out as soon as possible”. I say taking the other document. “Thank you,” he says and sits comfortably turning on his computer. “I’m going to set up your travel arrangements for the Australia trip. Ring if you need anything. ” I say leaving his office. The rest of the day goes by in a blur of meetings, setting up appointments and making sure Max’s coffee arrives in time. I finally got around to getting a venue for the gala. The
I blink thinking about Zan, he's the rock in my shoes preventing me from enjoying this moment and any other moment I have with Gabriel. "What's going on in that head of yours?" Gabriel asks not looking at me. "I'm thinking about a lot," I say and he sighs. Your brother” he says looking up at the ceiling and turning to look at me. “Yes. I feel like I’m lying to him about us. This feels forbidden.” I say sighing. “I don’t see how we’re lying to him. He doesn’t even know we’re together and… “ “Exactly. He doesn’t know. So I feel like I’m hiding it from him” I interrupt him before he finishes his sentence. “And I don’t care if he knows or not. I’m not hiding you or this. I haven’t told him because I know that you have reservations about us and I know that you need time to process it all.” He says finishing his thoughts. “I’m scared to tell him” I confess not able to hold it in anymore. “Why?” he asks looking genuinely confused. “Isn’t it obvious?” I ask even more surprised he has
“What are you wearing tonight” Rose says to me through my phone screen, we’re on FaceTime. “I am wearing this beautiful number here ” I say lifting up a floor-length deep v, plunge sequin yellow dress. “Can you see it?” I ask already laughing when I realize that all she can see is a yellow patch of the dress. “Move back so I can see the whole dress,” She says laughing too. “I wish you were here Rosie” I say moving back and missing my sister badly. It’s been a month since I left Gabriel. I have been numb since. I haven’t allowed myself to feel anything but tonight I feel the weight of it all come over me. “Me too. Ryan. But I’ll be with you in spirit. Just try to have fun tonight, everything else will matter in the morning.” Rose says, I move closer to the phone screen to look at her. “I hear you,” I say after a moment. We say our goodbyes and I get to get ready for the gala. Work is the only thing that’s kept my mind off of everything. And tonight we get to meet with South Afric
He’s Minister Mesi Shona? I couldn’t figure out who he was earlier but I knew him from somewhere. There have been so many cabinet shuffles we can’t keep up.” I say shifting on my sofa. Suddenly I can’t sit still, my skin crawls when I remember what he said tonight. And Rami is married to him? “Yes. What did he want?” he asks walking and sitting next to me. He’s getting impatient. “I don’t even know, he said weird things that don’t make sense to me. He said I don’t know what you and my wife are planning. But I want to give you the courtesy of a warning. Tell Ramie to abandon any plan the two of you have or there will be dire consequences. I promise that.” I repeat the words remembering his words clear as day. “What the hell does that mean? Ryan that man is bad news we need to call your brother “ He says pulling out his phone and dialing Zan’s number. “Gabriel don’t…” I say and get interrupted by Zan’s voice, coming through the speaker. “What’s up?” Zan says answering the phone qu
Gabriel had to leave early this morning for a work emergency so I’ll be meeting Ramie and my brother alone. My nerves are shot and now that I had time to think about this whole situation last night I’m even more uneasy . I woke up and looked up Minister Shona and the stuff I found is scary. His name comes up in every scandal there is in the country. And he thinks I’m in with his wife to do what? I realized how much I shut out the world this morning. I know what’s happening with corruption in South Africa but I don’t give it any mind. News always breaks that this Government official did this and the third but these people never get caught. They just get reassigned to a different post so people forget about their dirty deeds and all is well. So I stopped caring what happens to any of them, corruption is the name of the game here. Hard working people pay tax so the poor can stay poor and so people like Shona can steal. I actively chose to do good with my work. That’s why Max and I work s
“How did the meeting go?” Gabriel asks me on the other end of the line. “Well turns out I don’t know my brother at all” I say remembering the conversation I had with him and Ramie this morning. Zan had me convinced he lives a simple, uncomplicated life. I am questioning everything I know about him, this business with Ramie has opened doors I knew existed but I didn’t want confirmation they do exist. “So he told you” Gabriel says and I remain silent. I don’t know what say. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asks when the silence stretches. “Obviously” I say wanting to know more, maybe he’ll tell me something that makes it all make sense. “Okay, then come to me. We can’t talk about it over the phone” he says and my heart starts to beat fast. Are we back to spending time together? Are going to go through the same motions? I can’t go through another heart break, I don’t have the strength. “Come to you? Why can’t we talk on the phone?” I ask scared and excited by the prospect of spendi
Gabriel shows me into the bathroom so I can freshen up. I take a few minutes to get the flight off me and I head back to the balcony after a while. I get comfortable on the day bed, I look beyond the coast and take everything in. I would love to wake up to this every morning, this is incredible. Gabriel joins me after a while, he’s changed into more comfortable clothes now. He sits next to me on the day be and looks out into the view. “How are you feeling?” he asks looking at me. “I’m good now” I say smiling at him. “Good” he says and goes back to looking at the view. “How are you?” I ask too. “I’m tired but with a little rest I’ll be good,” he says sighing. “Work?” “Amongst other things,” he says looking at me again, he gives me a look that says you’re one of those problems but he doesn’t say it. I look away unease creeping into my mind. “Is an exceptional view always on the list of criteria when you buy a house? “ I say trying to lighten up the mood, I don’t want to sour thi
One year later “Gabriel what do you have planned tonight?” I ask my husband when he leads me into the garden in my pyjamas. It’s a Friday night and in our household, it means an adventure is due. We work hard during the week so that we can take time out on the weekends and have fun. We’ve been having these epic weekends since the day we got married. Gabriel and I have taking turns planning incredible dates. It can be a weekend long affair or just one night. As long as we show the love we have for each other; we have created so many memories together. It feesl like I’m living s dream. Gabriel is the ultimate romantic, he comes up with these incredible and thoughtful dates. I’m good at planning a great night but this man takes my breath away every time. Sometimes it’s not even about what we do, he has a knack for knowing what I need at the right moment. “I thought we would have a simple night in. I heard that tonight would be a good night to stargaze.” He says leading me into the gar
“Ryan baby, wake up.” Gabriel says kissing me. I slowly come out of sleep. I blink looking at him confused. He’s sitting next to me on the bed. He’s fully dressed in sweats and t-shirt. Why isn’t he naked? We went to sleep butt naked last night.“What time is it?”I ask looking out the window, it’s still dark. Am I missing something? Today is Sunday, we have nowhere to go. So why do we need to wake up early?“5:59.” He says touching my face softly. I lean into his touch closing my eyes, feeling sleep come back slowly. I don’t want to get out of bed, it’s so comfortable here.“I want to show you something.” He says and I groan. Can’t it wait? I don’t want to go anywhere.“Right now?” I ask and he chuckles softly, I open my eyes looking at him. He’s not budging; he really wants me to get out of bed. I sit up slowly and stretch. He looks at my nak
Johannesburg “You look incredible.” Says to me as we walk into a dinner party hosted at the Levelthree in Joburg. He asked me to be his plus one tonight and I had to come through for my man. It’s a networking event for South Africa’s most rich and influential. The event is hosted by one of Gabriel’s friend a young business woman named Maite, she owns one of the biggest beauty brands in South Africa.I am obsessed with her, she has one of the most incredible minds. She started her beauty business out of her university dorm and now she is one of the richest women in Africa. My mind is blown being here; I am doing my best to contain my excitement. Maite is legendary and I feel so grateful for Gabriel, he’s the reason I’m here.On a normal day I could have gotten a ticket to get in here and interact with the people here at arm’s length but being here with him is so much
I spent the whole morning with Gabriel’s parents. His father gave me a tour of the whole farm; we spent the morning going through his daily chores. Gabriel had a full day of work so I had to do my own thing today. His dad was more than happy to spend the day with me. I got to see what it really takes to run a fully functioning farm.It’s amazing to see where Gabriel gets his work ethic. They both love what they do, they treat their employees with so much respect and they are always so eager to share information with others. I enjoyed my time with him, he’s a cool dude.Now I’m making lunch with his mom. She’s her husband’s complete opposite, where he’s talkative and smiley. She’s quiet and reserved. Now that I spent more than a few hours with his parents I can tell Gabriel us the perfect blend of the two of them. He took his father’s work ethic and commanding presence and his mother’s calm. &ldqu
It’s late evening; I’m with my parents in the kitchen. My father is washing the dishes, I’m drying and my mother is putting them away. Washing the dishes is my least favourite thing to do. I should really call Gabriel tonight, I miss him. I think it’s time I went back home. I can’t spend another week without him. I’m sure he misses me too. “I have a special delivery.” Zan says when he walks into my parent’s kitchen. My parents and I turn around to look at him. He’s been gone since morning, I did wonder if he would come home tonight. He’s well known for his disappearing acts. I was worried he left without saying goodbye. I have fears that he’ll leave home and I won’t see him again. Our new found understanding is fairly new so I worry that as soon as we go back tour normal lives we’ll fall back to old habits. I know I have to be patient and trust that we can work this whole thing out but I get scared sometimes. He’s my brother and I love him. He moves away from the doorway and loo
“This place is amazing.” Zan says looking out at the view in front of us. We’re in my parent’s backyard, looking at my father’s berry field. He hasn’t been here in a long time; I first brought him here when I bought the property. It was just a field then; now it’s a fully functioning farm. He’s seeing this view for the first time; I’ve seen it so many times. But seeing the look of awe on his face makes me see appreciate it more. It’s breath taking. It really is.” I say realizing that it’s so easy to take things for granted. I realize I took our friendship for granted once. Knowing that it’s on the line right now makes me rethink everything I have in my life. When he called me a week ago to say he’s coming back home and we should meet, I was happy. This is a chance to mend broken trust. I don’t know if he’ll be open to that but when I saw him drive up today he seemed different, even now standing next to him he seems resigned. I could be jumping the gun here but I have to be hopeful.
“Hey kid.” I hear someone say and turn around. Zan is standing in my bedroom doorway. I close my eyes and open them again, to make sure I’m not hallucinating; I stand up from my bed and take a deep breath and then let it out.“Hey.” I say and walk to my brother. I go in for a hug and we just hold each other for what feels like a long time. I can’t believe he’s here, I pour all my love into my hug.“Did you miss me?” He asks when I finally let him go. Tears run down my face uncontrollably. I nod and wipe them away but fail. There’s just so much emotion that my hands can’t keep up with the constant flow of water down my face. “I missed you too.” He says hugging me again. “It feels so good to see you alive and well.”He says his voice thick with emotion.“It feels so good to see you too.” I say so glad we’re talking. I was so worried about him. I didn’t
“I just want to say that I will miss you. I can’t imagine this office running without you but I’m so happy that you’re going out there to experience something new. I wish you all the best in your new endeavors. And just so you know, if you ever want your job back. T’s always here.” Max says at my farewell party. My two-week notice is over, I’m happy about this chapter of my life. But I can’t say I’m not terrified of what’s to come next. This is me taking a leap into the unknown. Who quits a job without a plan? I don’t know how I’m going to make money when I leave here. I am shaking in my boots but I’m up for it. This is by far the craziest thing I’ve done, ever! The whole room cheers for me and I smile shyly. I have to be the centre of attention but Max insisted we host a party for my last day here. I walk around the room thanking everyone. It’s only right that I say my proper goodbyes; I worked with these people for a long time. “Thank you for everything Max, I truly appreciate yo
Life is different, I feel different. The things I found joy in a few months ago don’t make me happy anymore. I used to love going to work; being of service to my boss would give me this sense of belonging. But now I just go through the motions of my work days and forget about it as soon as I get home. I look forward to the end of the day as soon as I get to work. There is a shift in my heart. I know it and I find myself accepting it without fear or question I never imagined I would be those people who dread going to work. I love my job, or more accurately I loved my job. Max is an amazing boss, our office is fun but I can’t seem to get back into my groove. I shake the feeling that I need to let go of this life and something greater will come to me. At first, I thought it was the stress. I told myself it will go away in a few weeks once everything settled down. I thought it was the moment and as soon as it passed I would go back to me. It’s been a month and the feeling hasn’t changed