Chapter Six

Colette Smith (P.O.V.)

As I ended the conversation with Callum’s mother, I got off the bed to go into the kitchen to fix myself something to drink. It was rather hot today and I felt irritated because of it. I did not have air condition in my room, just a lonesome fan that is only good enough to circulate the hot air around the room. I turned the doorknob on my bedroom door and unlocked it. When I exited the room and passed by the bathroom, I swore I could hear Callum talking inside there.

I stopped to investigate my suspicions. I pressed my ear against the door in an attempt to try to pick up any noises inside of the bathroom. I know I could just simply open the door and go into the bathroom without knocking first as to catch him by surprise, but I decided against it. Usually when something bothered me, or I had my suspicions about something and I bring this to Callum’s attention, I always felt like he would gaslight me and in turn in the end I would feel worse about myself than before and so in these instances, I simply do not say anything.

When I feel like something is going on behind my back, I either try to bury my emotions and get over it if I felt like there is nothing, I could do about it; or I would simply conduct an investigation,  myself. If I were to find solid evidence of any wrongdoings where I know I could easily call Callum out on his lies. The more I begin to know Callum, the more I learn that he lies a lot. He would lie unprovoked every time I would ask him about something. In the beginning, I assumed he would lie about certain things because maybe he assumed  I would get upset at him for it but he should know by now that lying to me and hiding things makes the situation way worse.

I made some juice when I got to the kitchen and returned to the bedroom. As I sat on my bed I pondered on what I should do. I know if I do not say something about how I feel, I would overthink the worse possible scenarios, but I do ask, Callum would become very defensive as he always is and that might just cause an argument. I really did not want to start an argument on a day as joyous as this one. I could only pray and hope, that now that I am pregnant, Callum would stop with his old habits and take into consideration that he has a baby on the way. I kept using that as an excuse in my head to make me feel better, but the truth is, it terrified me.

What if Callum and I were to end our relationship and then I had to raise our child by myself? I do not want to be a single mother. That responsibility would be too much for me to handle on my own. I do not have a family of my own to turn to for support and with my current mental health condition, I feel like it would be more than draining to me. I was beginning to get ahead of myself, and it was really getting to me at this point.

I felt anxious and my heart was palpitating. As soon as Callum got out of the shower, I approached him as he walked through the door. Just thinking about the situation and asking him about things makes me so nervous that I get a stomach ache. I felt butterflies in my belly, and I wanted to throw up. Any feeling I had of hunger before was gone completely.

“I want to ask you something, but I am scared,” I said to him as I looked everywhere around the room but at him.

I did not want to make eye contact at all. I was so anxious about doing this.

“Why would you be scared?” Callum inquired and chuckled.

He looked guilty…I just know it and I am not being crazy. 

“I am scared because whenever I approach you about something that is bothering me, you usually get upset and I do not want to fight with you.”

Usually, when these conversations occurred, I had to approach them with much caution. Due to the fact that Callum gets defensive quite easily when I am inquiring about something, I only got one or two questions to ask before he gets frustrated and yells at me for asking him things.

“Just ask me anything.”

Another thing about Callum is that he offers no kind of reassurance when I express signs of insecurities. With him, if he told me that I looked pretty a month ago then that should be enough to let me know that he thinks I am pretty. If I were to explain to him that he had to tell me these things often, he would automatically assume I was asking for too much and tell me I was ungrateful for the bare minimum that he did. 

“Were you on the phone…like talking to someone on the phone while you were in the bathroom? I was on my way to the kitchen when I heard something.”  I said and watch Callum closely for any signs to indicate that I had caught him off guard.

“No. You probably heard a game or something. Or whenever I would say something about the game to myself.” He explained and I nodded.

Deep down I knew it was not the truth, but I had no solid evidence unless I checked his call log which of course is not crucial evidence because it could be tampered with easily.

I guess this is just another one of those instances that I will have to force myself to forget about.

“Okay. I just thought I would ask because I started to overthink, and I really wanted to get it off my chest.”

“I hear you.”

Suddenly there was a knock on my bedroom door.

“Colette?” I heard my mother call through the door.

I got up from the bed and opened the door slightly as Callum was right behind me in only a towel that barely did much to cover his semi-hardened member. 

“Yeah?” I said as I poked my head through the small gap I made.

“There is someone outside waiting for you.” My mother said before she turned around and walked away.

Who could it be? I do not have any friends so I was beyond confused as to who would just randomly show up at my house.

I quickly made my way outside of the house to check who my mysterious visitor was. Upon checking, I groaned in annoyance.

Of course, it was her.