PASOK NA," senyas ng pulis kay Shanta habang tinuturo ang puting pinto na kanyang nilabasan. "Huwag kang matakot."
He only glanced at her once dahil abala siya sa pag-scan ng mga papeles na hawak niya. After that, he told her to wait inside. He will come back after he finishes his agenda.
"Shanta…" I called out to her when she nodded after the police officer joined his officemates.
She then turned around and looked at me with a questioning yet patient look. Ngumiti ako nang tipid.
In my mind, I was practicing a million times, trying to master a conversation with her, like I was not nervous about her getting investigated.
Mawawala
I'M SORRY to hear that. I understand your grief. I'm… sincerely sending my sympathy to your family. Macine was such a great friend to us," sinserong saad ko at gulat pa rin sa balita. "Dalmi, ayos ka lang?" Tumakbo si Clavis sa tabi ni Shanta saka inakbayan niya ito. He held her chin up, then checked on her face. "Lagyan natin ng ice pack 'yang mukha mo." Her father's death must have depressed her. Nalunod siya sa matinding kalungkutan kaya pinili niyang tapusin ang buhay. Ang bilis ng mga pangyayari. I just saw her running yesterday. I didn't have a clue that her way would be the afterlife. Today, she passed away. Pero may isang bagay na kumakamot sa utak ko. I could not get rid of this feeling. Iyong
AND WHAT IF we have not proven your innocence, Ms. Ferrucci? Should we expel you without giving a second thought?" malumanay ngunit mapanganib na tanong ni Dr. Principio kay Shanta. Taas-noo pa rin siyang nakaupo sa malaking trono niya sa likod ng makintab na mesa. Mas napapatingkad ng buhok niya ang kanyang matulis na balikat. I then slowly shifted my gaze to the woman she spoke to. She was staring straight at the principal, yet no words had still come out of her mouth. Marahil, nag-iisip pa siya ng isasagot dahil sa makahulugang pagbigkas ng punong guro. Pati ako ay matutulala nang ganoon. It seemed like the principal had something under her sleeves. Isang nakakapangilabot na sikreto. And when
THE PRINCIPAL ordered us to come back to our classes as the school violence investigation will start tomorrow. They will ask victims and witnesses of other bullying cases that involved Shanta as the perpetrator.Kaya noong umalis kami sa opisina ng punong guro at makabalik sa klase, balisa at hindi makausap ang kaibigan namin. Matindi ang idinulot ng sulat ni Macine sa kanya. Most especially, her parents will be called off to school.Sa buong oras ng paglalakad namin sa hallway, she wouldn't look at us. Nasa malayo lang ang tingin niya at nasa ibang dimensyon ang isip.Kapag sisilipin siya, we'd see that her eyes were weary and melancholic. Clavis even tried to approach her, but his cousin would always drive him away without saying a single word.
HINDI PWEDE, DALMI." Clavis immediately answered without giving his cousin's request a second thought. Shanta wanted to visit Macine's funeral at hindi siya pinayagan ng pinsan niya. Plus, we're not totally sure if the bereaved family will allow it. "Nandoon ang pamilya ni Macine," dugtong nito at bakas sa kanyang mukha ang pagkaproblemado. "Baka kung ano ang gawin sa 'yo, lalo na si Alleva na walang ginawa kundi saktan ka. Parang hindi mo naging kaibigan." I nodded. "I agree. I think it's best not to come. We'll just find another way para mabisita mo si Macine. But while Alleva is there, it isn't safe." Iniisip namin ang kaligtasan niya. At kung nais niya man na bumisita roon, hindi ko na talaga
DUMATING KAMI sa parking space ng Herrera Manor. Nakita kong lumabas sa kotse si Clavis at apuradong tumakbo sa main entrance ng mansyon. "Shit!" I cursed under my breath. Mabilis kong hinubad ang seatbelt ko at binuksan ang pinto. He's like his cousin. Impulsive and hard-headed. Ulo ko ang sumasakit dahil sa kanilang dalawa. As I jumped out the car, nakasalubong kong lumabas si Jira, na ang kotse ay nakaparada sa tabi ko. "Tarantado talaga 'yong si Umbok, sugod nang sugod," komento niya at bakas ang pagka inis mula roon. "Oh, shit! Pancit! What the hell is really happening? Why so taranta?" Katlego was trying to lighten up the mood.
WHERE ARE WE GOING?" I asked Shanta who's busy driving my car, like she totally owned it at isa lang ako sa mga taong nakikisakay sa kanya. "Wala ka bang tiwala sa akin, ha?" kasuwal na tanong niya at nagpalipat-lipat ng tingin sa akin at sa daan. "Para namang kikidnapin kita. Hindi ko ugali 'yon, hoy." "I trust you naman, pero minsan…" I shrugged my shoulders off at nagkunwaring nagdadalawang-isip ako. "I don't know anymore. You don't look pleasing to me…" "Wow. Ulol ka." She chuckled at bigla akong natulala sa mukha niya. Did I just hear a bird's chirp? Overhead was the sun setting behind a silhouette of mountain ranges, but her laugh just told me it was morning.
AFTER HALF A THIRTY MINUTE DRIVE, we arrived at Shanta’s apartment located at the top floor. Actually, it wasn’t an ordinary one. It could pass more than a penthouse. Maybe it was given by her father since they’re well off. "Tuloy ka," giya niya matapos mag-scan ng card at awtomatikong mabuksan ang pinto. "Huwag kang mag-alala. Walang aso dito. Pero mga pusa, meron." "Cats?" Kumunot-noo ako. "Hindi cat? You mean… marami sila?" She nodded happily. "Oo. Trese silang lahat." "Ang dami naman…" She chuckled. "Pero mag-ingat ka," paalala niya.
THAT’S NOT WHAT I’m trying to say, Shanta…" I said in my defense. "It was just… umm… my curiosity that asked that."She grimaced. "Oh? Talaga ba, Kagan?"I rolled my eyes. "You know… It’s not in my values whatever you’re thinking, so I guess I’m partly reasonable.""Kung ganoon, inaamin mong iyon nga ang naiisip mo?" She questioned with eyes hinting victory.Was this a checkmate? Kasi kung oo, wala na akong kawala. Huminga ako nang malalim. I raised my two hands in defeat."Alright, alright…" dehadong saad ko. "Ayaw ko lang talaga nang ganoon. I don’t tolerate… cheating."
BADTRIP. Nababadtrip ako kay Avancea. Bakit hindi na lang siya lumayas sa mamanahin kong mansyon? Bakit kailangan pa niyang makipag siksikan sa pamilya namin? Bakit napaka s****p niya simula bata pa kami? Our family would have been better, stronger, if she and her leech mother Amadena hadn’t appeared in our life. Pero may magagawa ba ako sa desisyon ng Papa ko? Meron. But, bullshit, not on this matter. He won’t let me, her genius daughter, dictate his heart. Not even Kuya Dallas who’s vocally against it but is silent when the two leeches are present. Wala rin naman kaming maaasahan kay Mama kasi iniwan niya kami kay Papa at sumama sa lalaki niya. To make matters worse, nagkaroon pa sila ng anak. But all of my mother’s desires faded when she lost everything she fought for. One, her partner who I never met. Second, her son, my step brother. And third, kami ng orihinal na pamilya niya. But serious matters aside, bwisit na bwisit na ako kay Avancea. Sinumbong niya ako tungkol sa pambubu
WHAT’S THAT?” I asked Shanta the moment she entered our bedroom with a book in her hand. Nilapitan ko siya at hinawakan ang bewang niya saka hinalikan siya sa balikat. “Saan pumunta ang Baby Love ko? Hmm?” “Hulaan mo…” biro niya saka kumapit sa bewang ko bago nangunang naglakad. I grinned, then walked with her with my right arm clinging onto her shoulder. Sinilip ko ang librong hinahawakan niya at naintriga ako. “You don’t recognize this, do you?” tanong niya. “Where did you find that?” Shanta looked up at me. “It doesn’t matter. I found it and I fixed everything back.” Binalik niya ang tingin sa libro… o ang manuskritong sinulat ko… at naupo sa dulo ng kama. I also sat beside her with my eyes pinned on her glowing face. “I have been curious about this lately, alam mo ba ‘yon…” kwento niya at sinimulang buklatin ang libro. “Punit-punit ‘to noong nahanap ko kaya nagpabili ako kay Benida ng scotch tape. She helped me put back every page.” Then, she looked at me teasingly. “Ako p
I SMILED at the guests who greeted me and Shanta as we walked on the red carpeted aisle. Hindi ganoon karami ang mga bisita. Nabibilang lang sa mga daliri ang mga tao sa mesa. I recognized almost all of them. Masaya ako at dinaluhan nila kami para sa gabing ito.Shanta and the Six Packs, which included me, sat down at a very special seat near the mini stage. Pabilog ang mesa at pitong upuan ang naroon para sa isa sa amin. Naunang umupo ang mga kaibigan ko. Lachlan and Katlego sat beside each other. Ganoon din si Euart at Jirario. Clavis, however, chose to sit next to her cousin. Samantala ako, pinagitnaan nina Shanta at Jirario. I pulled my Baby’s golden chair before she took her seat. “Musta ka na?” tanong ko kay Jira nang hayaan ko si Shanta na kausapin ang pinsan niya. I smiled at my cousin when I looked at him. It’s been a long time and we have been very busy with our own lives, so it’s nice if we catch up. “Kumusta ka naman at ng inaanak ko? Damn… I can’t believe you’re a family
ISANG BUWAN na ang nakalipas at unti-unti nang humuhupa ang kaguluhan sa Manila. Tito Kadam is already jailed in the New Bilibid Prison while his case is set for an appeal by his lawyers. While Coolidge Mental Care remained a crime scene, the patients were transferred to a safer and better facility. They will be sent back once the investigation is done and once the mental care has found its new owner. Sa ngayon, we’re trying to fix all the casualties, lalo na sa pagpapagamot ng mga pasyente. After all, Shanta and I both experienced a life inside the mental hospital. Nais naming tumulong. “Sir, Ma’am, nandyan na po ang mga bisita,” pagpapaalam ng kasambahay noong pumasok ito sa kwarto ko. “Susunod na kami. Thank you,” I said. And after telling me some more notice, the househelp left the room. Naiwan kami ni Shanta sa harap ng salamin habang inaayos niya ang necktie ko. Two days ago, we left Bohol for our business here in the Metro. Naisip naming ligtas nang tumira sa bahay ko… na
I DON’T KNOW when was the last time that I was energized to wake up. I remembered waking up with a huge weight in my head and I felt so exhausted at the start of the day, that ending it would mean fatigue for a week. But while my eyes remain closed, my mind is already awake. And I could feel Shanta’s small body still embracing me. Napangiti ako. Dahil diyan, bahagyang isinubsob ko ang aking ilong sa buhok niya. Walang pagbabago. Her hair’s scent is still the same lavender with fresh milk. I sniffed like drugs and kissed her forehead and tightened my embrace because I am never gonna lose her again. This moment could’ve happened two years ago if the incident didn’t happen. We could’ve been living on one roof with our two kids that are one-year-old apart, and we’re still making the third one. But even though we’re two years late, this… the night that I woke up beside her is what matters most. This will keep me from waking up and start my day blissfully. Aaraw-arawin ko ito, and the d
THE NEXT DAY, Shanta and I traveled back to Panglao Island, Bohol to stay in her mansion for the meantime while things subside. Hindi sana doon. It could have been my house, but almost everyone knows about it, so definitely, the place is not safe for us. We decided to take a break after the national newscast reported across the country. It was stressful and… chaotic. Ilang media na rin ang sumubok na kuhanan kami ng panayam, but Shanta, although ready to speak up, is not allowed to give herself another stress. I didn’t permit it because she needed rest after trespassing in Kachina's house. Makita-kita ko pang may benda siya sa noo kaya mas lalong hindi ako pumayag. She got it from her cousin who broke a vase on her head. And even though I wanted to make that woman pay, I didn’t want reporters to exploit my Baby’s condition and people to make a feast out of it. Kahit na kami ang nasa tama at ang biktima, hindi ko ginawa. The right people would see it, especially the court. And I wou
I GRINNED AT my reflection in the mirror surface. Our plan is working and just a little more time, this chaos they started would end. I then reached for the clean towel beside my laundry, then wiped my face. This is the only place where I can be myself besides being in Shanta’s arms. No nurse to watch over my every move. No Kachina to observe me and ask leading questions. Just me and myself, staring at each other. After I wiped my face, I spent my fifteen minutes taking a bath. Hindi man ako komportable sa klase ng banyo na meron sila dito, sinubukan kong hindi madiri. Well, I have lived an ordinary life before with a small toilet and a hand pump. I’d be immune to this, I guess. Pero sana… sana hindi magtagal ang pamamalagi ko dito. I can’t take the owner of this place. Pagkatapos kong maligo, I changed into a more comfy clothing. I didn’t wear my usual asylum gown. I don’t need it anyway because I am done with my mission. This is the day I am finally leaving this hell. Besides, nas
KAGE, DELIKADO ‘yang plano mo…” pagtutol ni Shanta. Nakaupo siya sa kabisera ng lamesa ng kanyang opisina sa mansion. “I’m not liking it. Masyadong mapanganib at… nagmumukha tayong mas masama kaysa sa kanila. Ayaw ko ng ganoon. We’re stooping down to their level… and as you said, violence should never be a choice. So, this one… It’s a no for me.” I bit my lower lip because she has a point. Well, it’s obvious that my ultimate plan is too risky… and brutal. Katabi ni Shanta si Benida, na nakaupo sa kanyang kanan. They were both looking at me with a hint of hesitation in their faces. Bahagya akong nakaramdam ng pagkapahiya. Shanta is right. We’re no different from the people who attempted to kill us. Tulad ni Tito Kadam, I am resorting to violence to get what I want. But this is the only way we could penetrate the Coolidge Mental Care. Kung totoo man, naroon ang mga karagdagang ebidensya para magiit ang tatay ni Kachina. Dahil hindi lang niya kami tinangkang patayin, he was even the ma
Kagan’s POV AYAN, KAGAN…” The psychiatric nurse said in utter softness after I obediently drank the medicine she prepared for me. “You are doing well these days and Doc Kachina must be so proud of you. Let’s just wait for her, okay? It’s past ten and she’s not yet here. But don’t worry. Papasok iyon.” I nodded and grinned just a little bit to make her believe Kachina is my calming pill, even when I don’t care whether she comes to work today or not. I then looked away and stared at the barred window the mental care had just built for me. Kung alam lang ng nars, I lost interest in her doctor the night she’s involved in ruining my life. Makalipas ng ilang sandali, narinig ko ang nars sa gilid ko, nagpapaalam para sa susunod na pasyente niya. I didn’t respond or what, then the door creaked open. Mabilis akong tumingin sa kanya, at nang makitang hindi siya nakalingon, I swiftly barfed the medicine I didn’t swallow and the bitter thing fell on my palm. I clenched my fist as soon as I fel