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Chapter 43
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2021-12-01 23:38:09NILAGOK KO ang alak at pinagmasdan ang buwan sa kalangitan. It was a cold night filled with wailings, instead of jingling carols.
The coldness of Christmas embraced my chilly heart. Tila tumigil ito sa pagtibok at ayaw nang magmahal pa ulit.
Pinapatay ako ng mga alaala kanina. I shouldn’t have flown all the way here. What I saw murdered me. It killed my soul. Pero, makakaya ko pa bang maghintay nang apat na taon kung hindi ako lumipad rito?
Certainly, this was one of the most hurtful blessings in disguise. Natupad ang layunin ko, at iyon ang malaman at matuklasan ang katotohanan.
Ngunit nasaktan ako nang lubos dahil umasa ako sa pag-ibig na hindi naman mapapasakin.
&nbs
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IT WAS six days ago when we welcomed the new year. The classes resumed at bumalik na rin sa normal ang lahat.However, it was only my heart that was still not okay. Hindi pa ito normal. Durog pa ang puso ko. Tila mga piraso ito ng bubog na mahirap buoin. Malapit na maging pino ang mga bubog tulad ng buhangin. Pero dahil sa payo ng mga kaibigan ko, it was gradually going back to its original piece. Mabagal man ang proseso, ang mahalaga ay bumabalik ito sa dati. Mas nagiging malakas ang aking puso. Mas nagkakaroon ito ng bakod para hindi na muling mabasag ng magtatangkang humawak nito.Nagsimula na ang ikalawang semestre at kaklase ko pa rin sina Jirario, Clavis, at syempre, si Shanta. Every time, they would do their best to cheer me up. Magpapatawa sila kahit na mukha
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I FIXED my position and put a bookmark on a page where I left of. Itinulak ko ang puting libro kay Shanta at ang tingin niya ay bumaba roon."Here…" I said like we were having a secret transaction in a small area in an antique library.She looked at me curiously. "Oh, tapos? Bakit 'yan? Anong gagawin ko rito?" tanong niya na tumutunog na parang mas naiirita.I shrugged my shoulders off. "Finish it for me," I said, grinning a bit.Her mouth fell open. "Ha? Haha! Gago. Pinagsasabi mo? Ba't ako tatapos niyan?""Of course. Para malaman mo na ang laman diyan sa libro at kung bakit espesyal ito para sa akin. Plus... parang gusto naman. You had
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WE LEFT the library together. Para hindi na siya mabigatan, ako na ang nag prisinta na magbitbit ng kanyang mga libro. Surely, I was carrying an elephant while I was walking. Muntik na akong mapa subsob sa lupa kung hindi ko pa nagawang kontrolin ang paglakad ko. What's irking was… Hindi rin naman tumangging i-pabuhat ni Shanta ang mga 'yon dahil tuwang-tuwa pa siyang nakikita akong nahihirapan. Dagdag pa niya ay mukha raw akong alipin na pinagsisilbihan siya! "Wow. Ang kawawa ko naman sa 'yo," bulong ko. Prumeno ako sa paglalakad at sumibangot. Naglalakad siya sa harap ko. Pero natitiyak kong narinig niya 'yon dahil kaunting tum
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BAKIT ka lumipat dito?” Shanta incessantly asked her sister for the nth time in gritted teeth. “Bakit ka pa lumipat dito, ha?”Lumalaki ang mga mata ni Shanta at namumula ang mga pisngi niya. The heat was excruciating, for the way she looked at her was blazing with fire.But the woman who called her sister served as the wind and fuel that ignited Shanta’s inner bomb.“Ano na naman ang gusto mong mangyari, ha? Naghahasik ka ba ng gulo? Nais mong mang-agaw muli? Sumagot ka." Shanta continued and stepped closer before her. “At inuulit ko lang sa ‘yo, Avancea...”Tumigil siya saka ngumisi bago magpatuloy muli. “Hindi mo Daddy ang Papa ko. Isa ka lang sampid sa
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SHANTA STILL showed her teeth, implying that everything was okay, despite having to deal with late cancellations. Kahit na labag sa loob ko ay ngumiti na rin ako. It was the best thing to do at the moment.Ayaw kong maramdaman niyang may nalulungkot o naaawa para sa kanya. Hindi niya gugustuhin ‘yon. That's how I have observed her for the past few months. Frankly, it would hurt her pride.Kaya kung nais kong makatulong, kailangan ko lang sumabay sa agos, like I was a log floating on a river. I should not tell more that would provoke her emotions.“Dalmi! Ayos ka lang ba?! Hindi na kayo matutuloy?” tawag-pansin ni Clavis mula sa kanyang upuan. “Anong nangyari? Ba’t umalis ang mga ‘yon? Anong ginawa sa 'yo?”
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Kagan’s POV AYAN, KAGAN…” The psychiatric nurse said in utter softness after I obediently drank the medicine she prepared for me. “You are doing well these days and Doc Kachina must be so proud of you. Let’s just wait for her, okay? It’s past ten and she’s not yet here. But don’t worry. Papasok iyon.” I nodded and grinned just a little bit to make her believe Kachina is my calming pill, even when I don’t care whether she comes to work today or not. I then looked away and stared at the barred window the mental care had just built for me. Kung alam lang ng nars, I lost interest in her doctor the night she’s involved in ruining my life. Makalipas ng ilang sandali, narinig ko ang nars sa gilid ko, nagpapaalam para sa susunod na pasyente niya. I didn’t respond or what, then the door creaked open. Mabilis akong tumingin sa kanya, at nang makitang hindi siya nakalingon, I swiftly barfed the medicine I didn’t swallow and the bitter thing fell on my palm. I clenched my fist as soon as I fel
