MY ARMS CAUGHT Shanta's belly the minute the waves threw her offshore. She was coughing constantly, weakly gasping for air due to long submission to water. "Shanta…" I muttered painfully. Pareho kaming napaupo sa dalampasigan. Yakap-yakap ko siya habang kinakalaban kami ng mga alon. She was sitting in front of me, weak and depressed, while my arms locked her waist, chaining her so she could never go anywhere… so she can never do harm to herself. "Shanta…" I swallowed hard while I sniffed her damp hair. "W-Why do you have to do that? Hmm? Please don't do that again. Okay? Hindi ko kaya." "Ahhh!" She screamed grievously. "Ang Papa ko! Ibalik niyo ang Papa ko! Ibalik n-ninyo!" Her voice cracked.
WHILE SHANTA asked to be left alone in her room, I decided to stay in their mansion for a while just to make sure I'd be there immediately to rescue her in case of emergency. Pero sana ay wala siyang gawing masama. We just arrived from the Coolidge Mental Care. Napanatag naman ang loob kong walang ginawa o sinabing masama si Kachina sa kanya. Ako lang siguro ang nag-iisip niyon dahil sino ba namang tao ang ipapahamak ang kanyang pinsan? "Wala na po ba kayong nakalimutan?" I asked the cooks about Shanta's favorite foods on the tray. "Can I take these upstairs already, Manang?" "Saglit lang, Hijo…" anang matandang babae at lumapit sa akin. She placed a medicine kit and water on it. "Kuha ko na ang riseta ni Miss Dalmi. Ito ang ipainom mo sa kanya pagkatapos niyang kumain
FOR THE PAST SIX MONTHS, I never got tired of assisting in Shanta's treatment. Sa anim na buwang iyon, ilan din ang sessions na pinasukan namin. Some days are bad, but most are successful. Sa bawat araw ay unti-unting nakikipag-usap sa amin si Shanta. At araw-araw din akong dumadalaw sa kanilang mansion. Ngunit may mga araw na doon ako natutulog. It's because she had meds that need to be taken at past midnight. Hindi rin naman nakatira doon si Tita Shantanel. Kuya Dallas also boarded a few weeks after his father's funeral. Kumbaga, ako ang nag-aasikaso sa pagpapagamot ni Shanta because everyone of them is busy. They find time, yes, pero mahirap silang makabisita sa kanya. We both understand dahil may sari-sarili na kaming buhay. Pati ng mga kaibigan namin.
YOU KNOW WHAT, I’m happy…” magiliw na saad ko habang yakap-yakap si Shanta sa kama kinabukasan. “I’m happy that you’re recovering. I’m happy waking up with you. I’m happy that you’re mine again…”I felt her body squeeze mine pagkatapos kong sabihin iyon. Nakahiga sa braso ko ang leeg niya habang nakatutok sa kanyang buhok ang ilong ko. Masyado na akong nawili sa bango niyon and every morning, I sniff it like what I do now. It was addicting and I rubbed my nose against her coconut-scented hair.She asked me to sleep here last night. Hindi daw siya makatulog nang mahimbing kasi walang kasama. I didn’t believe her. She always falls asleep even without a companion. Magmula noong nagkabalikan kami, hindi na niya ako tinatantanan sa paghingi ng halik.Gusto niya lang talagang angkinin ang katawan ko sa gabing iyon. Ngunit wala siyang napala magdamag. Because as soon as I laid on her bed, agad akong natulog para wala siyang gawing kababalaghan sa a
AND THERE THEY ARE! Let us all welcome Mr. Kagan Vos Lombardi, together with his bride-to-be, Ms. Kachina Alexis Coolidge!"Napatingin ako sa taas, litong-lito. The hall slowly dimmed and I squinted at the strong light that pointed at me. Napasulyap din ako sa isang malakas na ilaw na tumutok sa isang babae. What the heck? What the fuck is happening?! Hindi ako ikakasal sa sino man! Lalong-lalo na kay Kachina!Behind Shanta, there was Kachina grinning triumphantly while walking towards my direction. Sinusundan siya ng ilaw habang nakatitig sa mga mata ko. Unti-unti akong tumuwid ng tayo, kumukulo ang dugo sa bawat segundong nasa amin ang atensyon ng mga tao, umuusok ang ilong dahil sa walang pakonswelong engagement party, na hindi ko naman sinang-ayunan!Lumingon ako sa emcee. He was behind a podium upstage. Malawak ang ngiti niya at kung anu-ano pa ang sinasabing matatamis, na walang katuturan. I glared at him. Iyong nanlilis
I STARED INTENTLY at Shanta. Clearly, hindi niya alam ang sinasabi. We were okay a while ago. Mapayapa kaming nagising. We had just reconciled a few weeks ago. Ano ito at isinusuko niya na agad ang meron kami? She wanted us to come back to being just friends.“No…”Umiling-iling ako, hindi makapaniwala na ganun-ganun na lang niya kabilis na isusuko ang relasyong pinaglalaban ko.“You’re not breaking up with me again, Shanta. Kung nakuha mo ang gusto mo dati, hindi ngayon. I won’t let you give me up for the second time!”“Ayoko na, Kagan…” masakit na saad niya, na narinig ko na dati. “Pakasalan mo ang pinsan ko. That’s the only way we can still be friends. Dahil kung hindi…”“What?” I urged her.Then, she looked at me with a blank face. “I’ll only think of you as the man who humiliated our family.”“Shanta…”“At dahil sa sobrang pagkapahiya namin, mas nanaisin kong kalimutan ka,” p
LUMABAS AKO NG kwarto pagkatapos kong maligo. I wiped my damp hair with a clean towel as I closed the door to the master's bedroom. Since I have nothing much to do this weekend, white shorts at gray sleeveless shirt ang sinuot ko. Plus, marami akong inaasikaso para sa kasal. To start with that, I left the house I once lived for six months, then finally transferred to my own condo.Simple lang ito pero malawak. Wala masyadong muwebles ngunit sapat ang mga kagamitan sa bahay. As I hung the towel on my right shoulder, yumuko ako para abutin ang remote control mula sa pa-U na sopa.Since that memorable night, ny habits changed. Now, it became my routine to switch on the television after a quick hot shower. Umikot ako sa sopa saka binagsak ang pwet ko roon. I raised my feet on the center table saka tinutok ang remote sa t.v.Sa isang pindot ko, sumilay ang liwanag ng telebisyon. It's 8 o'clock in the evening at balita kaagad ang bumungad roon. It's boring to watch news t
Chapter 168I WENT OUT OF THE ELEVATOR in big steps. Taas-noo at tumitindig akong naglakad sa pasilyo habang dala-dala ang isang suitcase. I was wearing a formal attire. Both a dark blue slacks and a business suit. While I walked along the hallway with might, I was fixing my red neck tie. And because I will be meeting with my business partner, behind me were my project management team."Everthing set?" I asked without looking at the person behind."Yes, Mr. Lombardi," atat na tugon niya at ramdam ko ang kanyang paglapit sa likuran ko. "Everything is all set. Lahat ay polido. Walang lamat, walang manggas. All you have to do is say it.""Very well, then.""Yes, Sir. This is our first project, so we really put on a lot of work."I was put at ease. Hindi lang sila ang gumawa niyon pati ako. Every detail and information was sent to me. And as their team captain, I analysed every design and
BADTRIP. Nababadtrip ako kay Avancea. Bakit hindi na lang siya lumayas sa mamanahin kong mansyon? Bakit kailangan pa niyang makipag siksikan sa pamilya namin? Bakit napaka s****p niya simula bata pa kami? Our family would have been better, stronger, if she and her leech mother Amadena hadn’t appeared in our life. Pero may magagawa ba ako sa desisyon ng Papa ko? Meron. But, bullshit, not on this matter. He won’t let me, her genius daughter, dictate his heart. Not even Kuya Dallas who’s vocally against it but is silent when the two leeches are present. Wala rin naman kaming maaasahan kay Mama kasi iniwan niya kami kay Papa at sumama sa lalaki niya. To make matters worse, nagkaroon pa sila ng anak. But all of my mother’s desires faded when she lost everything she fought for. One, her partner who I never met. Second, her son, my step brother. And third, kami ng orihinal na pamilya niya. But serious matters aside, bwisit na bwisit na ako kay Avancea. Sinumbong niya ako tungkol sa pambubu
WHAT’S THAT?” I asked Shanta the moment she entered our bedroom with a book in her hand. Nilapitan ko siya at hinawakan ang bewang niya saka hinalikan siya sa balikat. “Saan pumunta ang Baby Love ko? Hmm?” “Hulaan mo…” biro niya saka kumapit sa bewang ko bago nangunang naglakad. I grinned, then walked with her with my right arm clinging onto her shoulder. Sinilip ko ang librong hinahawakan niya at naintriga ako. “You don’t recognize this, do you?” tanong niya. “Where did you find that?” Shanta looked up at me. “It doesn’t matter. I found it and I fixed everything back.” Binalik niya ang tingin sa libro… o ang manuskritong sinulat ko… at naupo sa dulo ng kama. I also sat beside her with my eyes pinned on her glowing face. “I have been curious about this lately, alam mo ba ‘yon…” kwento niya at sinimulang buklatin ang libro. “Punit-punit ‘to noong nahanap ko kaya nagpabili ako kay Benida ng scotch tape. She helped me put back every page.” Then, she looked at me teasingly. “Ako p
I SMILED at the guests who greeted me and Shanta as we walked on the red carpeted aisle. Hindi ganoon karami ang mga bisita. Nabibilang lang sa mga daliri ang mga tao sa mesa. I recognized almost all of them. Masaya ako at dinaluhan nila kami para sa gabing ito.Shanta and the Six Packs, which included me, sat down at a very special seat near the mini stage. Pabilog ang mesa at pitong upuan ang naroon para sa isa sa amin. Naunang umupo ang mga kaibigan ko. Lachlan and Katlego sat beside each other. Ganoon din si Euart at Jirario. Clavis, however, chose to sit next to her cousin. Samantala ako, pinagitnaan nina Shanta at Jirario. I pulled my Baby’s golden chair before she took her seat. “Musta ka na?” tanong ko kay Jira nang hayaan ko si Shanta na kausapin ang pinsan niya. I smiled at my cousin when I looked at him. It’s been a long time and we have been very busy with our own lives, so it’s nice if we catch up. “Kumusta ka naman at ng inaanak ko? Damn… I can’t believe you’re a family
ISANG BUWAN na ang nakalipas at unti-unti nang humuhupa ang kaguluhan sa Manila. Tito Kadam is already jailed in the New Bilibid Prison while his case is set for an appeal by his lawyers. While Coolidge Mental Care remained a crime scene, the patients were transferred to a safer and better facility. They will be sent back once the investigation is done and once the mental care has found its new owner. Sa ngayon, we’re trying to fix all the casualties, lalo na sa pagpapagamot ng mga pasyente. After all, Shanta and I both experienced a life inside the mental hospital. Nais naming tumulong. “Sir, Ma’am, nandyan na po ang mga bisita,” pagpapaalam ng kasambahay noong pumasok ito sa kwarto ko. “Susunod na kami. Thank you,” I said. And after telling me some more notice, the househelp left the room. Naiwan kami ni Shanta sa harap ng salamin habang inaayos niya ang necktie ko. Two days ago, we left Bohol for our business here in the Metro. Naisip naming ligtas nang tumira sa bahay ko… na
I DON’T KNOW when was the last time that I was energized to wake up. I remembered waking up with a huge weight in my head and I felt so exhausted at the start of the day, that ending it would mean fatigue for a week. But while my eyes remain closed, my mind is already awake. And I could feel Shanta’s small body still embracing me. Napangiti ako. Dahil diyan, bahagyang isinubsob ko ang aking ilong sa buhok niya. Walang pagbabago. Her hair’s scent is still the same lavender with fresh milk. I sniffed like drugs and kissed her forehead and tightened my embrace because I am never gonna lose her again. This moment could’ve happened two years ago if the incident didn’t happen. We could’ve been living on one roof with our two kids that are one-year-old apart, and we’re still making the third one. But even though we’re two years late, this… the night that I woke up beside her is what matters most. This will keep me from waking up and start my day blissfully. Aaraw-arawin ko ito, and the d
THE NEXT DAY, Shanta and I traveled back to Panglao Island, Bohol to stay in her mansion for the meantime while things subside. Hindi sana doon. It could have been my house, but almost everyone knows about it, so definitely, the place is not safe for us. We decided to take a break after the national newscast reported across the country. It was stressful and… chaotic. Ilang media na rin ang sumubok na kuhanan kami ng panayam, but Shanta, although ready to speak up, is not allowed to give herself another stress. I didn’t permit it because she needed rest after trespassing in Kachina's house. Makita-kita ko pang may benda siya sa noo kaya mas lalong hindi ako pumayag. She got it from her cousin who broke a vase on her head. And even though I wanted to make that woman pay, I didn’t want reporters to exploit my Baby’s condition and people to make a feast out of it. Kahit na kami ang nasa tama at ang biktima, hindi ko ginawa. The right people would see it, especially the court. And I wou
I GRINNED AT my reflection in the mirror surface. Our plan is working and just a little more time, this chaos they started would end. I then reached for the clean towel beside my laundry, then wiped my face. This is the only place where I can be myself besides being in Shanta’s arms. No nurse to watch over my every move. No Kachina to observe me and ask leading questions. Just me and myself, staring at each other. After I wiped my face, I spent my fifteen minutes taking a bath. Hindi man ako komportable sa klase ng banyo na meron sila dito, sinubukan kong hindi madiri. Well, I have lived an ordinary life before with a small toilet and a hand pump. I’d be immune to this, I guess. Pero sana… sana hindi magtagal ang pamamalagi ko dito. I can’t take the owner of this place. Pagkatapos kong maligo, I changed into a more comfy clothing. I didn’t wear my usual asylum gown. I don’t need it anyway because I am done with my mission. This is the day I am finally leaving this hell. Besides, nas
KAGE, DELIKADO ‘yang plano mo…” pagtutol ni Shanta. Nakaupo siya sa kabisera ng lamesa ng kanyang opisina sa mansion. “I’m not liking it. Masyadong mapanganib at… nagmumukha tayong mas masama kaysa sa kanila. Ayaw ko ng ganoon. We’re stooping down to their level… and as you said, violence should never be a choice. So, this one… It’s a no for me.” I bit my lower lip because she has a point. Well, it’s obvious that my ultimate plan is too risky… and brutal. Katabi ni Shanta si Benida, na nakaupo sa kanyang kanan. They were both looking at me with a hint of hesitation in their faces. Bahagya akong nakaramdam ng pagkapahiya. Shanta is right. We’re no different from the people who attempted to kill us. Tulad ni Tito Kadam, I am resorting to violence to get what I want. But this is the only way we could penetrate the Coolidge Mental Care. Kung totoo man, naroon ang mga karagdagang ebidensya para magiit ang tatay ni Kachina. Dahil hindi lang niya kami tinangkang patayin, he was even the ma
Kagan’s POV AYAN, KAGAN…” The psychiatric nurse said in utter softness after I obediently drank the medicine she prepared for me. “You are doing well these days and Doc Kachina must be so proud of you. Let’s just wait for her, okay? It’s past ten and she’s not yet here. But don’t worry. Papasok iyon.” I nodded and grinned just a little bit to make her believe Kachina is my calming pill, even when I don’t care whether she comes to work today or not. I then looked away and stared at the barred window the mental care had just built for me. Kung alam lang ng nars, I lost interest in her doctor the night she’s involved in ruining my life. Makalipas ng ilang sandali, narinig ko ang nars sa gilid ko, nagpapaalam para sa susunod na pasyente niya. I didn’t respond or what, then the door creaked open. Mabilis akong tumingin sa kanya, at nang makitang hindi siya nakalingon, I swiftly barfed the medicine I didn’t swallow and the bitter thing fell on my palm. I clenched my fist as soon as I fel