SINCE THAT NIGHT under the cloudless sky over a cliff with the woman I ought to protect, she became the changed woman that she promised, every single day.
She can be far more than her old self, but there was more than her old self that was left - a mouthful of her kindness, her huge champ of jest, and crumbs of her merciful self.
For the past few days of bonding with her, being with her, and together with her alone, I had seen new phases of her, a brighter one, the truest of her where lying is the most hideous face.
From the reckless Shanta to a more careful Shanta, she receives news like a porcelain jar, brittle and vulnerable, requiring gentleness and precision.
Ngunit pansin ko parang wa
SO, YOU REMEMBER?" bulong ko habang naglalakad kami sa pasilyo. The shock was still there when I opened this up to Shanta. Hindi ko man lang nahimigan ang pagkakaalam niya, lalo na sa mga panahong nag-uusap kami tungkol sa sugat ko at kanyang pagka-ospital. Ang alam ko lang na alam niya ay isa ako sa mga napuruhan noong gabing dinakip siya. Ngunit hindi sa puntong ito. Not on this point that she knew every detail of how I saved her. Somehow, it flattered me. Masaya akong siya mismo ang nakaalala niyon kaysa sa iba ang pagsabi sa kanya. I just didn't expect she also remembered who stabbed me. Ni hindi ko nga namukhaan ang sumaksak sa akin till now. Para akong sinapak sa pisngi noong malaman
IT WAS like a bomb dropped to destroy all my senses; a tornado, picking up wild thoughts inside my tousled brain and smashing my sanity before I could even feel sober. It was more like a kid shouting near me and a gong situated under my ear. It disrupted my eardrums and all I could hear was my heavy breaths. "Namatayan ng mag-ina si Euart," bulong ni Shanta. I covered my mouth and rested a hand at my back hip. My heart was in a drag race, it took too much of my fuel to drive my head insane. Bata pa lang ang kaibigan ko para magkaroon ng anak. He's unstable and broke. Hindi siya nag-iingat. If the child was alive, hindi ko alam ang mga mangyayari. Although for sure, this would be a total mes
THE WAR HAS EMPTIED ITS BARREN, leaked its last drip, and twisted its faucet close. No river of evil will ever enter the estuaries of goodness. It will no longer wave its big tsunamis to the calm ocean of serenity and prosperousness. From now on, it will flow as fresh milk, white and nourishing. For the battle has been fought and won. "For the grounds you've committed and the substantial evidence submitted in this office, the Board has decided to expel you, Avancea Vega and Alleva Brookes." "No! There's no way!" sigaw ni Avancea at sinampal ang mesa pagkatapos isara ni Dr. Principio ang folder, na naglalaman ng hatol sa kanila. "I am innocent! I didn't do anything to any of these two!" "Sit down, Ms. Vega," matigas na utos ng punong guro. "Your behavior will put you into more danger." "You're not expelling my daughter!" sigaw ng isang ginang, na mukhang batang tingnan dahil sa iksi ng suot at mga alahas sa katawan niya. "This is unfair! I will Dalmaceo! He will not approve of t
SHE AGREED. Amadena, Avancea's mother, surrendered. She let the battle be won by the victor. Hindi dahil sa nagpaubaya siya, kundi dahil wala na silang laban sa mga ebidensya, na nagtuturo sa anak niya. However, unlike Alleva who accepted her punishment wholeheartedly, hindi pa rin tanggap ni Avancea ang kaparusahan niya. She wanted to appeal because expulsion was a biased penalty to her. Mas tatanggapin pa raw niya ang community service kaysa mapaalis sa eskwelahan. However, her bargain immediately led to her downfall. She dug her own hole and fell for it. Walang kaparusahan dapat ang hingiin niya dahil, ayon sa kanya, wala siyang kasalanan. Matalino ang punong guro. Hindi siya nakalusot. It onl
IT WAS EASY to say than to make it happen. Sometimes, it isn't the one who promised that has not acted upon it, but the person who receives it does not accept the will. I accepted Shanta's initiative. I helped her not because she asked me to, but because I would've suggested it, too, if she hadn't said it first. Anything for her growth, I will take measures. And these measures involve asking each of her victims to give her another chance and attend to what Shanta prepared for them. Others may see it as simple and not hard at all, not until they're in my situation. "Please, this is not… a joke…" I prayed to a nerdy-looking woman who only walked past me when I told her about my friend's sweet plan. "This is real. As in, for real. Give her a chance, please… last chance… a
SALAMAT AT NAGPUNTA KAYO," Shanta said with her purest heart while holding a microphone on stage. "Sa pagdalo niyo, masasabi kong pinalad pa rin ako kahit ilang ulit man sabihin ng iba na isa akong malas." There was still a moment of shock in me as I watched her up here. Nasa gitna ako ng mga kaibigan ko. Clavis and Jirario were seated at my right side and Lachlan and Katlego at my left, respectively. They were silent and serious as to why I could clearly hear my heart beating in excitement. Below us were Shanta's victims who scammed me into not attending and putting my handsome face on the line! I didn't expect they would come after refusing me despite my cries, na halos lumuhod ako sa harapan nila, makapunta lang sila. My mind was blank to know what encouraged them t
I THINK I FORGOT something,” sabi ko habang kinakapa ang bulsa noong makarating kami sa parking lot ng school. “Mauna na kayo doon sa bahay nila. I’ll follow after this. Don’t wait for me.” “Ano bang nakalimutan mo?” may bahid ng duda na tanong ni Lachlan nang akmang papalis ako. “Dala mo naman bag mo. Anong klase ng gamit ang nawawala sa bulsa mo?” “Wala ka na doon,” inis na pahayag ko. “Eh, ikaw? Kailan ka aalis? At… Bakit ang tagal ninyong umalis? Don’t tell me you’re still gonna wait for me?” “Tanga. Hindi.” Jirario said and walked past me, intentionally hitting my shoulders as he went to his black car. “Arat na. Gutom na ako.” “Bwisit ka,” angil ko kahit hindi masakit iyong bangga niya. &
SHOULD I GO AFTER HIM?" I asked Shanta because she still has a party to host and I could not afford to ruin it, but I couldn't also afford to leave our friend behind. "Is it okay if I might be late? I'll check on him. He's… chaotic and… I'm worried." Sa kabila ng mga maling ginawa niya, hindi ko pa rin siya matiis. Euart just found out about his child. Namatayan siya ng mag-ina. Namatay ang anak niya bago pa isilang sa mundo. At nalaman niya pa 'yon kung kailan wala na sila. Kung kailan huli na ang lahat. For sure, if he knew they had a baby, hindi niya 'yun pababayaan. He'd become a responsible father, which was something that had kept him distant from his family because he barely felt the love of a father. "Should I? Do you want me to follow him?" I asked again
BADTRIP. Nababadtrip ako kay Avancea. Bakit hindi na lang siya lumayas sa mamanahin kong mansyon? Bakit kailangan pa niyang makipag siksikan sa pamilya namin? Bakit napaka s****p niya simula bata pa kami? Our family would have been better, stronger, if she and her leech mother Amadena hadn’t appeared in our life. Pero may magagawa ba ako sa desisyon ng Papa ko? Meron. But, bullshit, not on this matter. He won’t let me, her genius daughter, dictate his heart. Not even Kuya Dallas who’s vocally against it but is silent when the two leeches are present. Wala rin naman kaming maaasahan kay Mama kasi iniwan niya kami kay Papa at sumama sa lalaki niya. To make matters worse, nagkaroon pa sila ng anak. But all of my mother’s desires faded when she lost everything she fought for. One, her partner who I never met. Second, her son, my step brother. And third, kami ng orihinal na pamilya niya. But serious matters aside, bwisit na bwisit na ako kay Avancea. Sinumbong niya ako tungkol sa pambubu
WHAT’S THAT?” I asked Shanta the moment she entered our bedroom with a book in her hand. Nilapitan ko siya at hinawakan ang bewang niya saka hinalikan siya sa balikat. “Saan pumunta ang Baby Love ko? Hmm?” “Hulaan mo…” biro niya saka kumapit sa bewang ko bago nangunang naglakad. I grinned, then walked with her with my right arm clinging onto her shoulder. Sinilip ko ang librong hinahawakan niya at naintriga ako. “You don’t recognize this, do you?” tanong niya. “Where did you find that?” Shanta looked up at me. “It doesn’t matter. I found it and I fixed everything back.” Binalik niya ang tingin sa libro… o ang manuskritong sinulat ko… at naupo sa dulo ng kama. I also sat beside her with my eyes pinned on her glowing face. “I have been curious about this lately, alam mo ba ‘yon…” kwento niya at sinimulang buklatin ang libro. “Punit-punit ‘to noong nahanap ko kaya nagpabili ako kay Benida ng scotch tape. She helped me put back every page.” Then, she looked at me teasingly. “Ako p
I SMILED at the guests who greeted me and Shanta as we walked on the red carpeted aisle. Hindi ganoon karami ang mga bisita. Nabibilang lang sa mga daliri ang mga tao sa mesa. I recognized almost all of them. Masaya ako at dinaluhan nila kami para sa gabing ito.Shanta and the Six Packs, which included me, sat down at a very special seat near the mini stage. Pabilog ang mesa at pitong upuan ang naroon para sa isa sa amin. Naunang umupo ang mga kaibigan ko. Lachlan and Katlego sat beside each other. Ganoon din si Euart at Jirario. Clavis, however, chose to sit next to her cousin. Samantala ako, pinagitnaan nina Shanta at Jirario. I pulled my Baby’s golden chair before she took her seat. “Musta ka na?” tanong ko kay Jira nang hayaan ko si Shanta na kausapin ang pinsan niya. I smiled at my cousin when I looked at him. It’s been a long time and we have been very busy with our own lives, so it’s nice if we catch up. “Kumusta ka naman at ng inaanak ko? Damn… I can’t believe you’re a family
ISANG BUWAN na ang nakalipas at unti-unti nang humuhupa ang kaguluhan sa Manila. Tito Kadam is already jailed in the New Bilibid Prison while his case is set for an appeal by his lawyers. While Coolidge Mental Care remained a crime scene, the patients were transferred to a safer and better facility. They will be sent back once the investigation is done and once the mental care has found its new owner. Sa ngayon, we’re trying to fix all the casualties, lalo na sa pagpapagamot ng mga pasyente. After all, Shanta and I both experienced a life inside the mental hospital. Nais naming tumulong. “Sir, Ma’am, nandyan na po ang mga bisita,” pagpapaalam ng kasambahay noong pumasok ito sa kwarto ko. “Susunod na kami. Thank you,” I said. And after telling me some more notice, the househelp left the room. Naiwan kami ni Shanta sa harap ng salamin habang inaayos niya ang necktie ko. Two days ago, we left Bohol for our business here in the Metro. Naisip naming ligtas nang tumira sa bahay ko… na
I DON’T KNOW when was the last time that I was energized to wake up. I remembered waking up with a huge weight in my head and I felt so exhausted at the start of the day, that ending it would mean fatigue for a week. But while my eyes remain closed, my mind is already awake. And I could feel Shanta’s small body still embracing me. Napangiti ako. Dahil diyan, bahagyang isinubsob ko ang aking ilong sa buhok niya. Walang pagbabago. Her hair’s scent is still the same lavender with fresh milk. I sniffed like drugs and kissed her forehead and tightened my embrace because I am never gonna lose her again. This moment could’ve happened two years ago if the incident didn’t happen. We could’ve been living on one roof with our two kids that are one-year-old apart, and we’re still making the third one. But even though we’re two years late, this… the night that I woke up beside her is what matters most. This will keep me from waking up and start my day blissfully. Aaraw-arawin ko ito, and the d
THE NEXT DAY, Shanta and I traveled back to Panglao Island, Bohol to stay in her mansion for the meantime while things subside. Hindi sana doon. It could have been my house, but almost everyone knows about it, so definitely, the place is not safe for us. We decided to take a break after the national newscast reported across the country. It was stressful and… chaotic. Ilang media na rin ang sumubok na kuhanan kami ng panayam, but Shanta, although ready to speak up, is not allowed to give herself another stress. I didn’t permit it because she needed rest after trespassing in Kachina's house. Makita-kita ko pang may benda siya sa noo kaya mas lalong hindi ako pumayag. She got it from her cousin who broke a vase on her head. And even though I wanted to make that woman pay, I didn’t want reporters to exploit my Baby’s condition and people to make a feast out of it. Kahit na kami ang nasa tama at ang biktima, hindi ko ginawa. The right people would see it, especially the court. And I wou
I GRINNED AT my reflection in the mirror surface. Our plan is working and just a little more time, this chaos they started would end. I then reached for the clean towel beside my laundry, then wiped my face. This is the only place where I can be myself besides being in Shanta’s arms. No nurse to watch over my every move. No Kachina to observe me and ask leading questions. Just me and myself, staring at each other. After I wiped my face, I spent my fifteen minutes taking a bath. Hindi man ako komportable sa klase ng banyo na meron sila dito, sinubukan kong hindi madiri. Well, I have lived an ordinary life before with a small toilet and a hand pump. I’d be immune to this, I guess. Pero sana… sana hindi magtagal ang pamamalagi ko dito. I can’t take the owner of this place. Pagkatapos kong maligo, I changed into a more comfy clothing. I didn’t wear my usual asylum gown. I don’t need it anyway because I am done with my mission. This is the day I am finally leaving this hell. Besides, nas
KAGE, DELIKADO ‘yang plano mo…” pagtutol ni Shanta. Nakaupo siya sa kabisera ng lamesa ng kanyang opisina sa mansion. “I’m not liking it. Masyadong mapanganib at… nagmumukha tayong mas masama kaysa sa kanila. Ayaw ko ng ganoon. We’re stooping down to their level… and as you said, violence should never be a choice. So, this one… It’s a no for me.” I bit my lower lip because she has a point. Well, it’s obvious that my ultimate plan is too risky… and brutal. Katabi ni Shanta si Benida, na nakaupo sa kanyang kanan. They were both looking at me with a hint of hesitation in their faces. Bahagya akong nakaramdam ng pagkapahiya. Shanta is right. We’re no different from the people who attempted to kill us. Tulad ni Tito Kadam, I am resorting to violence to get what I want. But this is the only way we could penetrate the Coolidge Mental Care. Kung totoo man, naroon ang mga karagdagang ebidensya para magiit ang tatay ni Kachina. Dahil hindi lang niya kami tinangkang patayin, he was even the ma
Kagan’s POV AYAN, KAGAN…” The psychiatric nurse said in utter softness after I obediently drank the medicine she prepared for me. “You are doing well these days and Doc Kachina must be so proud of you. Let’s just wait for her, okay? It’s past ten and she’s not yet here. But don’t worry. Papasok iyon.” I nodded and grinned just a little bit to make her believe Kachina is my calming pill, even when I don’t care whether she comes to work today or not. I then looked away and stared at the barred window the mental care had just built for me. Kung alam lang ng nars, I lost interest in her doctor the night she’s involved in ruining my life. Makalipas ng ilang sandali, narinig ko ang nars sa gilid ko, nagpapaalam para sa susunod na pasyente niya. I didn’t respond or what, then the door creaked open. Mabilis akong tumingin sa kanya, at nang makitang hindi siya nakalingon, I swiftly barfed the medicine I didn’t swallow and the bitter thing fell on my palm. I clenched my fist as soon as I fel