If you have been enjoying this story please leave a review it makes such a difference to encouraging others to read too! Thanks! X
Time stood still. Fitz was here. Standing right before me. Farrer’s rolled and groaned as he drifted out of consciousness. There was not a single functioning word in my head. The shock of the whole evening was threatening to overwhelm me into fainting.His vile brother, my sister’s desire for infamy, the attempted assault by the drunken, bloodied man on the floor. All of which paled in comparison to seeing his kind, strong face again. The emerald green eyes that haunted my dreams. To my surprise, he stepped backwards, putting distance between us as he quickly looked down at the doctor's bloodied face.“You should leave,” he whispered, though his green eyes never left me for a second. I was in so much shock I could not reply, but when he spun to walk away, I found my voice. He had barely taken two steps when I broke, quickly stepping towards him despite sensible judgement.“Don’t, you cannot leave me like this!” I whispered, my hand finding his in his pocket. His fingers locked betwee
***Fitz POV***How I have dreamed of this moment. Of finding her alone, to myself. Mine to adore and caress. Except she must be terrified of me. This precious treasure of mine has seen me savagely attack another man. I know Edmund has been violent towards her, if she believed me to be cut of the same cloth I would die of shame.Yet she was pressed against my body like a lost soul. Her bump, that incredible, life giving roundness was magical. To feel my child react to my touch left me breathless. It only makes my purpose more real. The baby is coming, in around four months I should expect. June. June is my deadline for ensuring I am prepared. Like a soldier seeing the enemy's flags flying I know exactly what I am driving towards. But right now more pressing matters are at stake.“Vanessa,” stroking the bare nape of her neck as her arms wrapped around my waist. “I swear I am not a violent man by nature. I saw a man attacking a woman and I rushed to help. When I realised it was you…I do
The next week sees me frantically searching the papers for mention of rumour or scandal. Doctor Farrers attack achieved some notoriety, but all the rags pinned the assailant as a recovered victim of one of his schemes. Edmund snickered merrily, “I do wish there had been a drawing, apparently his face was pulp!” as his inner thoughts boomed aloud more frequently.Memories of Fitz taunted me, I found myself walking in the garden more frequently. Partially to convince the watching staff it was a peculiar habit I had acquired, also to hope and pine that I might see those green eyes through the black iron gate once more.Although I avoided any mention, Kitty’s name did make the papers. Although not named directly there was talk of the “Horseguards Favourite pair of Blue Eyes,” pointing out how there only had to be a man in a redcoat in a tearoom for her to attend the function. It suggested her debut had not been a class act. Sadly it could only be my sister.I invited her to lunch with me,
***Fitz POV***After informing my brother I was cutting him loose, I found myself in a fistfight on the bank of the Thames that left me a bloodied mess.My downfall began after finding him drunk and on the verge of being thrown out of a gentlemans club. This was the same week Kitty had announced her engagement to the Viscount Donegan. A dour, elderly man in his fifties he was one of the richest men in England. The "seasons phoenix" Kitty had been described. The rags gaily noted how through sheer grit and scraping to fellow gentry she ascended back through the ranks. Though the younger, more desirable titled men had been bagged like pheasants, she had eventually secured the richest available suitor.Paying James's obscene tab for the last time, I tried to carry him back to his lodgings. “She’s marrying that old fucker you know,” he grunted. I knew he meant Kitty. The one who got away, his golden ticket to a better life. “You need to leave her alone,” I warned."She swore to me she ca
I am huge. The past few months have seen me develop a pronounced waddle, painful hips and an obsession with cheese. The confinement is not helping matters. The longer I spend in my room feeling inactive the more my body aches with misery. Despite my size, I long to ride on a horse or feel the wind on my face. Stand at the top of a cliff face and inhale the sea air. Anything to feel a dash of excitement. Instead I have surrendered like a prisoner to the same four walls.I am full of anticipation for our child's arrival. Doctor Mathers has suggested the baby has rotated on cue. Their legs are very much kicking upwards, into my very lungs it would seem.I have somehow managed to survive my heartache for Fitz, only the stress of Kitty has seen me through. I am concerned she is heading for a similar misery as a wife as myself. Once the more eligible Viscount Clyde was engaged she set her aim on wealth alone. Looks, humour and affection were qualities she suddenly dismissed in her quest f
Edmund had sent word via Marie that he wanted a wet-nurse to feed our child. Several local village women had given birth, would they not be more than adequate?I had insisted we keep up with modern fashion and I would be allowed to feed them myself. Thankfully Doctor Mathers was a proponent of this new belief. It was beginning to appear unseemly to not feed one's own baby. While Edmund thought this a bow to vanity on my part, and declared it loudly to the room, I had my own reasons. I need my milk to be flowing for I must be able to feed the baby wherever I am fleeing to with Fitz.Edmund is rarely in my presence. I may see him once a day as he peers around the door of my room. His cane announces his presence and I ensure I smile in a saintly fashion. He seems to think that my impending motherhood has made me forget all about his horrific behaviour.He is absent, not because he is being kind to me but because he is starting to decline. By the time we left London he was barely able to
*** Fitz POV ***I quit London soon after sending the book. Like a magnet, or homing pigeon I found myself circling around the various estates around Tarrick Hall. It was potentially dangerous. So far, we had conducted our secret affair without discovery. By all account the Duke was practically senile. It seemed safe enough to take on a role at the inn, stabling and preparing the horses.Sadly my smart grey suit has been packed away and disbanded for now. I return to the world of white shirts and braces. It is honest, hard work. It is just not going to fund a getaway to Ireland like I had hoped.It was a busy enough night, many gentlemen dining and playing cards in the cosy firelit inn. My blood froze when I spotted Edmund himself. I almost didn’t notice him, so radically different was his appearance. Withered and emaciated. Almost skeletal as the gap around his shirt collar gaped. He must be waiting for retailoring as his suits were ill-fitting, the gaps where his body used to fill w
Marie was by my side from the moment the hot fluid first appeared between my legs. She burst into the room before my second scream of panic, suggesting she had been incredibly close to the doorway the entire time. Edmund said nothing further, merely scowling as Marie suggested the staff send for Doctor Mathers.“Your Grace I am here, do not fret,” she soothed, grasping my hand to her chest as I surveyed the damp bedding in panic. We must move you, you will be quite safe, come along. I have a room prepared.”Walking quickly, aware that at every step more liquid was seeping from between my legs we headed into a guest room across the hallway. There were dozens of towels, linens and a hot tin bath waiting. Marie rang a bell three times sharply, within a minute half a dozen servant girls appeared.“Just as we have prepared ladies, I want this tub full and hot, I want the fire lighting and you are to fetch Doctor Mathers in here the instant he arrives.”They curtsied as I found myself reduce