Adira, your wolf spirit

Lizzy

Wolf spirit, ye ok, what the fuck have they put in my food? My head is banging, this is too much. I wish they would stop screaming, I can't think. The prayers never actually talk to me, well not until now, i think.

‘I am not a prayer, you really are annoying’ Came the voice again. ‘Stop that’ I place my hands over my ears. ‘Yeah, like that will work’ The voice says with a scoff. 

The screaming picks up from down the corridor, that’s where they do the treatment, as they call it. Basically they electrocute you, and say it's to help you; my ass. 

'Yeah, that was rough that day, well the first time’ Adira, my supposed wolf spirit says. I freeze, wait how long has this person been in my head? ‘Not a person, a wolf spirit. Do you ever listen’ ‘Stop that! Stop talking to me’ I snap in my head. 

‘Look! We are stuck with each other so get over yourself. We have things to talk about’ The annoying voice snaps at me. I mean who the hell does this wolf thing think it is. ‘If you call me a it again i will not be happy’ 

Getting up I go stand in front of the small mirror that hangs above the little sink in the corner of the room, luckily the moon is bright enough to see.  Looking in the mirror I take in my normal appearance, my pale skin, long straight black hair.

Leaning closer, I look into my own eyes, yeah just me, same old me. ‘Look closer’ The annoying, snarky voice comes. Look closer, leaning in, I look at my bright blue eyes. In an instant they flash silver. I jumped back from the mirror, what the hell was that?

Slowly I move back to the mirror, holding the small sink I lean in, my nose almost touching the mirror. It happens again but this time i dont move, I stare at the silver swirls that are definitely there. ‘Of course they are there, I told you. I am part of you’

I can't drag myself away from the mirror, Is this real? I mean I am standing looking at myself, and there is definitely some weird glowing silver shit happening with my eyes. There is a strange wave of warmth that runs through my body. I feel strange.

All of a sudden I feel dizzy, my hands grip the sink tighter. God I feel sick, what is happening to me? My heart is racing, as I break out in a cold sweat before the ground feels like it's coming up to meet me, my head bounces off the floor, an explosion of pain goes through my head. The last thing I hear is the voice ‘Seriously! Trust me to get this human’

Groaning, I try to move, my whole body is aching. Touching my head where it hurts i feel something sticky, looking at my hand i realise its blood; shit! What the hell happened? How long have I been on the floor? 

It’s starting to get light outside, it looks great like my day is about to start. Dragging myself off the floor I sit on the edge of my bed, still holding my head. ‘You have been sleeping for ages’ My head shoots up and I wince from the pain. 

‘So this wasn't a bad dream? Am I actually crazy?’ I say to this so-called wolf. ‘Oh you are crazy but that has nothing to do with me’ She snaps back. Standing up I go check myself in the small mirror, I splash water on my face  as the lights come on, indicating its time to get up.

Within ten minutes the screaming and shouting starts again, great like my head doesn't hurt enough. Hearing the lock to my room being opened I brace myself for the irritating bullshit that is about to happen.The high pitched voice of nurse Debs comes.

“Good morning miss Lizzy” The overly happy, singsong voice of the big round nurse has me cringing. 

“Oh my, what has happened? You're bleeding my dear” She says as she comes rushing to me.Shrugging her off as she starts to fuss over me, pushing me towards my bed, I sit down. 

“Lizzy, what happened? Does it hurt?” I just roll my eyes at her like seriously she has been my nurse for three years and i have never spoken to her once. 

Nurse Debs, is properly the best of a bad bunch. Least she is kind, some of the others can be cruel. Especially the two carers. George and Ceila, they worked nights most of the time. I would hear them doing things to some of the other patient’s. 

I keep batting nurse Debs away as she fusses over my head. ‘It will be healed, she is going to wonder where the blood came from’ The snarky voice of whatever this is. ‘Did I not tell you to stop calling me it’ I mentally rolled my eyes at her. ‘Don’t say i never warned you’

Before I can ask what she meant, a growl comes from me. Nurse Debs jumps back, eyes wide, she is totally confused. Yeah me to Debs, me too. Twenty minutes later Debs is ushering me out the door into the busy corridor.

I hate this place, the people in it are all fucking mad as the hatter out of Alice in wonderland. The longer I am at this pace, the more I realise the staff is as bad as the looney’s. I always walk with my back to the wall, keeping my wits about me.

Lining up for breakfast, I keep my eyes down, keeping to myself is the only reason I have survived in this place. ‘This isn't surviving, this is existing’ I guess you have a point, I think to myself. Taking my bowl of porridge and heading to the corner I always sit in, I successfully make it without anyone bothering me. 

‘You need to listen to me, you need to get out of here there are two people waiting on you’ Adria my so-called wolf spirit says to me. ‘Two people, what are you talking about?’ I frown, it's not at her words it's that I have just noticed when this annoying voice is there, I can't hear anyone praying. 

In a place like this it is normally so loud with them praying, mostly they want to die. I am drawn back to Adria when she mentions Mates. ‘Sorry what were you saying’ She growls in my head as she starts again. ‘We have two Mates.’ Mates, ‘What is a Mate?’ I ask as I take a spoonful of the horrible lumpy porridge I have come accustomed to. 

‘Do you ever pay attention?’ She hisses at me, rolling my eyes. I just continue eating. ‘Our Mates, are who the Goddess made for us’ I drop my spoon with a loud bang as she finishes her talking, sounding rather exasperated with me. 

‘Oh trust me i am not just sounding exasperated with you, i am exasperated with you and wondering what i have done to piss the Goddess off enough to give me you’ She growls out at me, I can't help but mentally snicker at her. 

‘So these mates, what are they our friends?’ She just starts laughing. ‘No, they are who the Goddess has paired our soul with, to love and care for us’ I freeze at her words. ‘Not a chance, i don't want a boy near me’ I say back as i shake my head and push my bowl away, nope not happening.