On the way to the battle

"A merchant's son going to the battlefield. It is the beginning of the end."

It was the first thing I thought of when I got into the carriage. It was not as dirty and badly treated as I had imagined it would be.

The coachman was an old man of few words. The seats were wooden, hard, and cold.

It was early autumn, and the garden at the entrance to the fortress was more colorful than in the spring. The cold breeze passed completely through my thin clothes.

I close the window.

I watch through the glass, the place that I called home for two years, slowly disappear from my sight. I don't remember how long the trip took.

I was too tired.

At about noon, two other boys climb into the carriage. I remember meeting both. They were probably part of the mandatory training with the old general. However, I never talked to anyone but Prince during practice. They were my age, or at least they seemed to be. One was tall and dark, with black hair and honey-colored eyes. The second was similar to the first, but a little shorter and with lighter hair, like a dark brown. Probably brothers.

They play and talk to each other as if I were invisible.

I am also not in the mood to make new friends.

I look through the window, the sky is blue and beautiful.

But I can't concentrate on anything beautiful.

All I can think about was Prince's tear-streaked face.

If I were one-year younger, I would be at his side. If he were at least my age, he would leave the castle with me, but he's only 7 years old...

What am I thinking! It would be terrible if he went with me! I should be the one protecting him! He should not suffer because of me.

Come on Lion, you had already made up your mind, not to tell anyone, not let anyone suffer.

Even if the plans changed a bit.

Before I even started packing my bags this morning, Prince appeared in my room crying. He begged me not to go. When I asked him why he replied that he knew where I was going.

I just looked at him confused. I hadn't told him, I was planning not to tell anyone that I received the recruiting letter. Not even Moli.

I was not ready to say goodbye. But nobody can fool Prince's sixth sense.

When his orange eyes turned to mine, there was too much worry and sadness for someone his age. My entire body got heavy. I couldn't breathe. I dropped to my knees on the floor. I thought of my father and our friends that I made here. Prince hugged me and cried, but I couldn't react.

I was aware that there is a chance I will not return from the battlefield. I was just avoiding taking it seriously. I was really trying, but at that moment, I couldn't anymore.

Moli opened the bedroom door. Through a bookshelf, she confusedly watched us crying, holding each other. The moment she looked at my semi-packed bags her look changed. I could have sworn I saw a tear in her eyes. Seconds later, Moli asked me to hurry, the coachman would be there soon.

I couldn't.

Who would go towards death itself? Who was she to lead me on such a terrible path? She looked at me and I stared back in despair.

She tried to call me, pull, and scream. I didn't move, like a rag doll letting be pulled. Prince pulled me to the other side. She wiped away my tears and called the royal guards. Prince told me that no new brother would replace me. A beautiful phrase that every good friend expects to hear. But it hurt, it hurt a lot. Even if I left, I'm sure he wouldn't be alone anymore. My dad? Too old to go to war, and I'm too young to die.

I felt at the edge of a huge cliff that I was asked to jump from. I could feel the breeze on my face. If I asked why I should jump. They would answer, that it was to cushion the fall of the young and old. I would look at the children's faces and the serious faces of the gentlemen who would offer to take my place. I would look at the edge of the cliff and see the only pitch. I would be asked again to jump. Again I saw Prince's face in tears. So, I would jump.

When I came to my senses, I was climbing into the carriage. For a moment, I had looked back. I saw two royal guards trying to stop the little prince without hurting him. Ha! They were far from winning.

The coachman pulled me inside, and we got back to my current situation.

By the position of the sun, I can say that it is noon.

I still haven't had my breakfast.

My mouth is dry, but my luggage is in the trunk of the carriage. The two nobles are also less agitated. It seems that they finally got tired. The landscape looks the same, the weather is getting hotter and hotter. The coachman remains silent without making a turn or even changing the speed of the horses. Apparently, we still have a long journey ahead of us.

My eyes are starting to get heavy. Sleeping will make me forget my hunger. It's better to sleep …

My conscience is lost in the world of fantasy.

All my worries play in front of me as a bizarre theater of colors and nightmares.

I try to wake up but nothing happens.

I keep trying until I wake up with a shok.

The whole carriage trembles and my head hits the carriage wall. A robbery? Have we arrived?

No, it was just a hole, but it looks like we got somewhere.

The landscape was now a small fortress that was already very worn out. The high walls surrounded by a small moat were covered with vines and moss. Even some window bars were broken. Does someone really live in this place?

A girl with red hair and blue eyes approached the carriage. She carried a backpack almost half its size with her. She seems to be our age.

Blue eyes, until now, I had only seen people with honey-colored eyes like mine or dark brown … Maybe a foreigner? Wait, is she going to get into our carriage?

I look at the brothers, and they look back at me as surprised as I am.

She arrives in the carriage and the coachman silently takes his luggage to the back.

She opens the door hard and enters the small four-seater compartment without looking at any of us and … she sits down next to me.

The carriage falls in complete silence. She still doesn't look at us. The coachman returns to his seat and sets the carriage in motion again.

The boys look at each other nervously. One tries to incite the other to start a conversation. The girl pretends not to notice.

Girls are not required to enlist, but they can.

I'm feeling at the edge of that huge cliff again. I can imagine the children cringe, the old people trying to resist with their canes, the women doing their best to calm down the children and old men.

However, this time, one of these women wears armor and jumps off the cliff. Without saying anything, without hesitating. I stand, watching with an astonishing idiot face. I'm ashamed. Very. Why someone in holy conscience would you jump without being pushed or ordered? I know the answer. Someone who puts those he loves above herself … Still, where does so much courage come from? My eyes are probably still red from crying just thinking about jumping. I feel my face flush with shame.

— Why do you … — I murmured lost in my thoughts.

— Why am I here? Why am I a girl? Why are YOU here? — I jumped from my seat. I wasn't expecting her to hear me, nor to answer me.

— To earn honor for our families, or to fight for them? — She continued with the questions without looking in our direction. Did I offend her? If I did, I think it's best to apologize quickly before she gets the wrong impression.

— No. That's not what I meant, I fully understand your reasons. I just wanted to know … How do you … manage to … be … — It's much harder to talk when she's really looking at me. Her eyes are too blue, I can't look at them. My face is probably red.

— Ok, ok, got it. Sorry, I'm a bit nervous. I am Vanilla, daughter of William Gords, the king's scribe. I'm going to war in my Father's place because of his health problems and the lack of a wife and children. I'm sorry for being Rude. Your names are? — She proclaimed herself, this time looking at us and extending her hand.

As soon as she finished speaking, the younger brother took Vanilla's hand as if it were made of porcelain and then kissed it.

— I am Viscount Tado, the funny, of Casis and my brother is Duke Tado, the strong, of Casis. We are children of Tauros II the Duke of Casis. — So funny or whatever his real name is, he bowed and exaggerated gestures to impress Vani. It is easier to call them Tado I and II.

— It is an honor to meet Baroness Vanilla in person. — A Viscount, a Duke, and a Baroness are sitting next to me. To tell you the truth, I didn't expect you to have trained in mud and dust with such important people. Well, my partner was the Crown Prince.

What life have I been leading these past years? Will I start to look angry and have a long beard like the other nobles?

— I know you from the archives. You were born so identical that people couldn't differentiate you both. When you complete five years they gave you the same name, Tado. Your brother, Duke Tado conquered the largest village in the neutral zone last year, didn't he? Really impressive! Even so, I insist that we put aside our titles and talk informally with each other, how about you? Who are you? I don't remember seeing your face in the files. — She turns to me and extends her hand toward me. I was still too busy scratching my chin and imagining myself with a beard to answer her.

— I? — I asked, still deciding whether to kiss her hand or not.

She looks at me like I asked if the sky was blue. That just makes me more nervous.

— Of course, he's not in the files. He is the son of the Merchant that the King rescued from the neutral zone. Rumors say that he's the prince's nanny. But I can tell you that it is a true fact since I saw it with my eyes! — My face got even more reddish. Did Tado II have to use the word rescued and neutral zone together? Still, calling me a nanny? Why did I leave my room today?

— Seriously? Are you a friend of the Heir? I never got to see him up close! — After remembering my plebeian past and calling me a servant, are they only interested in Prince? Well, I suppose part of it is my fault. For two whole years, I only made friends with the castle servants and spent most of my time with Prince.

— Can't you talk? Or are you a little shy? — What does she want me to answer? It is increasingly difficult to support these three! Are we there yet? I look back at her navy-blue eyes staring at me. Well, it looks like it will only get worse if it continues like this.

— I am Lion II … son of Marcus, the Royal Merchant … I have no land to win a title, and I am of poor origin, but I hope to get along with you. — I didn't kiss her hand, instead, I extended mine for a handshake as the commoners usually greet each other. The brothers looked at me confused, but Vani understood immediately and shook my hand.

— A pleasure to meet … Sir? — She wondered what to call me.

— Only Lion is fine, Vani. — I answered, more relaxed. They are not as bad as they seem. I then extended my hand in the direction of the Tado brothers. This time they both repeated Vani's gesture and smiled.

— I think we have a lot to learn from each other! Does anyone want to hear the story of my brother's conquest of the village? I'm a good storyteller! — Tado II exclaimed enthusiastically.

I believe I listened to the stories of Casis's family for two hours before Vani got tired of them. She started telling the messes and adventures of the King's scribe with asthma. I have to admit that her father was an incredible figure and her mother an angel. It must have been good to grow up in a family like that. When it was my turn to tell stories, I tried to change the subject. But they were very eager to hear from the “Crown Prince”.

To my surprise, I had enough stories to spend the day telling them. Since I met the little prince, my world has been turned upside down. Each day we did something different.

I only realized how important that was to me now that I have lost it.