Healing a rogue princess

 *Cynamon*

 I have just gotten into the car when I receive a text, so I pull out my phone and read it. ‘Are you on your way honey ... I am getting hungry’.

 ‘Just got in my car ... but I need to drive slow not to ruin the cakes and also find my way to the middle of nowhere. So it will take a bit.. be patient’. I shake my head as I put my phone away ... men !

 Turning on the GPS and pushing in the address is the first thing I do, before turning on my car and starting my journey to deliver the cupcakes I have created. That is what I do, create specially ordered cupcakes ... and to toot my own horn a bit, I can make almost anything you can imagine.

 I was hired by my kind of boyfriend to do these for a friend's 4th of July celebration. I say kind of boyfriend because well ... we have been on a couple of dates, but ... as always it will probably not really lead to anything.

 ‘You know why’. The well known voice sounds in my head.

 “Yada yada yada”. I mumble. “He is not our mate, I know”.

 I am talking to my wolf, Zyca … Yes, I am a werewolf. Not one of those from the horror movies, big drooling monsters eating humans, I just have the ability to change into a wolf. One that constantly talks inside my head and has her own opinion.

 ‘Mates are important’. She huffs.

 “We live a rogue life, we never see any other wolves, the change is …”. I sigh. “Well, chances are we will never meet our mate … Nick is fun, I know it won’t last, but let me enjoy the attention”.

 It’s not that he is not a nice guy, he actually is … and handsome too ... very much so actually, it’s like winning the boyfriend lottery ... but ... yeah something is wrong with me, beside the werewolf thing I mean ... or with the whole notion of love.

 I am either incapable of love ... which would probably not be a surprise given my past and the mate thing ... or maybe love is just a lie we all buy into. I am not sure, but I am sure that I never felt those butterflies ... the tingles ... the ... however books describe love. I might like a guy, even feel good around him ... but, that's about it.

 But I mean, I always wanted love ... I kinda always wanted kids, to prove myself better than my own mom. I always felt I deserved to be loved. I mean it took me … like forever and a lot of therapy to learn to love myself ... to accept my past .. accept that what happened happened and it was not my fault and to accept what I am.

 I had hoped that when I loved myself, I would love someone else. You know the saying, to be able to give and receive love from others, you need to love yourself first ... it still hasn’t happened though.

 So for now I will stick with this one. Who knows, maybe it will happen. I mean he is sweet, funny, and handsome. And he is a pretty good kisser too, that’s how far we have gone for now, which I am totally okay with; I am not really busy in that area.

 I mean, don’t get me wrong ... I quite enjoy sex, when it is going on that is; I am not really going around missing it. I guess I just don’t have a very big sex drive either, so as I said my relationships usually do not go far ... a lot of them I end, because well … I feel bad about it ... or they dumb me for not giving them enough attention and enough sex.

 ‘Because they are not HIM, they are not our mate’. Zyca chips in.

 “Heard you the first million times”. I mumble.

 As I park in front of the house I spot him coming out, smiling at me and waving ... yeah he is handsome, no doubt, even Zyca thinks so, says he could almost be an Alpha ... I wish I would feel more than I do.

 “Hi honey”. He comes padding over, and I get out of the car, he pulls me into a hug and a light kiss. “So happy you finally came ... let me take the cup cakes and then I can introduce you to everyone else”.

 I breathe in, unable not to feel slightly nervous. I mean he lives here with a couple of other guys, whom I haven’t met yet. I am not always the best at meeting new people. Also I find it a bit weird or fun, not sure which, that they kinda live in a pack, I mean as they are not wolves. “Okay ... they are in the backseat”.

 Nick opens the backseat to my car and looks at me with a huge grin. “You put a seatbelt on the cupcakes ?”

 “Yeah ... I mean I didn’t want them to tip over if I had to break or something”. I look at him. I mean that’s a totally normal thing to do right ?

 “You are something special”. He gives me a small chuckle before leaning in to unbuckle the cakes. “That would be such a Zac thing to do”.

 Zac ... he is the owner of this place, one of Nick’s best friends ... and a movie star I have been told. To be honest I only have a vague idea how he looks. I have seen him on tv years ago and some posters for his recent superhero movie, but I didn’t look closer though, as it isn’t really my kind of movie, but according to Nick he is a great guy and I am going to love him.

 “Come on.. I’ll show you the house”. Nick walks inside and I follow him. 

 He puts the cakes down in the kitchen and I look around. “I like this, stylish but cosy ... very nice”.

 “Well this is actually Zac’s place ... or what you want to call it ... but yeah, Zac lives here”. He walks towards a door out to a back patio. “Okay come meet everyone”.

 Apparently Nick can feel me tensing up, because he takes my hand and leads me along, introducing me as his girlfriend. Honestly most people I forget again instantly. I do remember JR though, who apparently is Zac’s business partner on something called Bodyworks, a big bearded guy who calls me ma’am in a very Texan way and gives off an alpha vibe, in a good way. And little Zach or LZ, who is this cute guy with a sweet smile and a camera in his hand, whom I instantly like.

 We walk out on the grass, the back lawn is kind of a half circle with almost a ravine behind it. There are people standing around talking and a guy is laying on the edge with a rifle, shooting at something in the distance while a couple of people are watching.

 A bearded guy comes over, talking in a whispering voice. “Shh ... Zac is trying to hit the bomb”.

 “The bomb ?” I probably look confused. “He is shooting a bomb ?”

 ‘This sounds unsafe’. Zyca is instantly there. ‘Maybe we should leave’.

 Nick chuckles low. “Not a real bomb, just a silly idea Zac has ... this is Marshall by the way ... Marshal, this is my girlfriend Cynamon”.

 “Nice to meet you ma’am”. He says ... still in the hushed voice, not to break Zac’s focus I guess.

 So I whisper back. “Nice to meet you too”.

 We all turn to focus on Zac and I can’t help but notice the almost crazily long legs poking out from the black shorts. He is wearing a tank top and when he gets ready to shoot the muscles in his back, shoulders and ass tightens visibly.

 ‘Cy !’ Zyca sounds weird, like excited and worried all at once, but I ignore her.

 “Focus Zac ... focus”. He mumbles to himself and I am not sure what it is, I mean he has a totally normal voice, he isn’t even talking to me. But then why do I suddenly feel all weird ? Like dizzy and breathless, is it because I know he is famous, even though I thought I didn’t care.

 Everyone holds their breath as he pulls the trigger. There is the sound of the rifle, then what seems like seconds of silence and then something goes boom down in the field and everyone around me cheers and Nick calls out. “Awesome shot Z”.

 “That was fucking legit ...”. He jumps to his feet and turns toward us, freezing in place in the middle of an inhale, kinda staring at me, like I was the last thing he expected to see. 

 How is it that books describe it ? Like being struck by lightning ... yeah that’s very accurate. I just stand there, staring like an idiot. I mean to my defence I had no idea it was possible to be this ... handsome ... no that's not even it, even though he is ridiculously good looking. It's the pure light shining from within him that has me mesmerised.

 Without me even really noticing, my hand lets go of Nick’s and falls to my side, so this is Zac, the famous movie star ... with a clarity that is rare for me I instantly know my life will never be the same, and Zyca’s reaction confirms it.