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What If It’s Not Enough

Penulis: Siwa Rose
last update Terakhir Diperbarui: 2024-10-05 07:30:20

Imogene Scott

The oncologist’s words blur together. It’s a stream of medical jargon that I can’t fully grasp.

“Bone marrow transplant… a match… family members…”

It all echoes around me like I’m underwater, and everything else seems distant. I stare at Lily who’s now sitting on the hospital bed. Her little fingers are clutching the toy we brought from home and she’s smiling at it, making it bounce in her lap.

My throat tightens. How is this happening? How is this our reality? Lily shouldn’t be here. She should be playing outside, laughing, not lying on a hospital bed with tubes in her arms.

The doctor is still talking, but every word hits like a sledgehammer to my chest.

"We need to find a match,” he says, and I nod because I know I’m supposed to, but my mind is still struggling to comprehend.

A match. We need a match.

Immediate family. That’s us. Me. Damien. Maybe one of us can save her.

“We’ll start testing as soon as possible,” the doctor continues, his eyes flicking between
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  • He Hurt Me, Now He Wants Me Back   The Test

    Damien Shaw I volunteer to be tested first. It’s the only thing I know how to do in this moment, the only thing that makes sense. “We’ll both do it,” I say, glancing at Imogene.She’s now quiet again I feel this ache in my chest because I don’t know how to fix this. I’ve always been able to fix things for us before, but this? This is beyond anything I can control. The drive to the lab is a blur. We’re accompanied by one of doctor Whitman’s specialists. Imogene is quiet, staring out the window like she’s always doing. I keep my hand on her thigh, squeezing it every now and then, but she doesn’t react. I’m terrified of what’s going through her head, of the distance growing between us, even though I know it’s not me she’s pulling away from — it’s the weight of all this.When we get to the lab, the smell of antiseptic hits me hard, and I hate it. I hate that this is our reality now, that this is where we have to be because our daughter is sick. I glance at Imogene again as they l

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2024-10-05
  • He Hurt Me, Now He Wants Me Back   A Match

    Damien Shaw After waiting for the test results for a few hours, the doctor finally steps out. Imogene’s head snaps up, and my heart stutters in my chest. I stand before I can stop myself as the doctor approaches.“Mr. Shaw, Mrs. Scott,” the doctor says. “The test results are in.”Imogene’s breath catches beside me. My own chest tightens.“You’re a perfect match, Mr. Shaw.”For a moment, I don’t react. A perfect match. Relief hits me hard and fast. I let out a shaky breath, my knees suddenly weak. I glance at Imogene, and she’s staring at me, wide-eyed, like she can’t quite believe it.I reach for her hand, my fingers wrapping around hers and holding on tight. “Did you hear that? I’m a match, Im.”Imogene’s lips part, but no sound comes out at first. Then, like something inside her snaps, she lets out a sob, her body trembling as she turns into me. Her face presses into my chest, her fingers clutching the front of my shirt as she breaks down. I pull her into my arms, holding her t

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2024-10-05
  • He Hurt Me, Now He Wants Me Back   The Extraction

    Imogene Scott When we finally arrive back at the oncologist hospital, I glance at Damien. I want to say something, thank him again for being here, for being the match, for stepping up in a way I never imagined he would.We both get out of the car. The cool evening air hits my face as we walk towards the entrance. The automatic doors slide open with a soft whoosh and we make our way to Dr Whitman’s office. Lily’s asleep on one of the beds in the office. She must have fallen asking whil we were away for the blood tests.She’s lying there, so small in that big bed, her tiny body curled up under the blankets. Damien moves first, walking over to her side. He kneels beside the bed, resting his hand gently on her forehead. “Shhh, baby girl,” he whispers. “Daddy’s here.” My chest tightens at the sound of his words. I watch him as he strokes her hair. This isn’t the Damien who’s always focused on himself. This is the Damien who’s scared, just like I am. The father who will do anything

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2024-10-05
  • He Hurt Me, Now He Wants Me Back   His Sacrifice

    Damien Shaw I wake up groggy, my body feeling heavy and sore. The first thing I notice is the dull ache in my back, where they harvested the bone marrow. It’s not unbearable, but it’s enough to remind me what just happened. I blink, trying to focus as the world slowly sharpens around me.“Mr. Shaw?” a nurse says gently. “You’re in recovery now. How are you feeling?”I clear my throat. “How’s Lily?” It’s the only thing I care about, the only thing I need to know.The nurse smiles softly, adjusting something on the IV beside me. “The transplant will happen soon. She’s doing well, and the doctors are confident the procedure will go smoothly.”Relief washes over me. I exhale, my body sinking back into the bed. The pain throbs, but it’s manageable. None of it matters as long as Lily has a fighting chance.Imogene isn’t here. She must still be with Lily, making sure everything is in place. I close my eyes, trying to imagine her standing by our daughter’s bed, her hand stroking Lily’s

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2024-10-05
  • He Hurt Me, Now He Wants Me Back   There’s Hope

    Imogene Scott The days after the transplant are a blur of fear and waiting. Every small beep of the monitors, every flicker of change in Lily’s expression, sends my heart into overdrive. I can’t breathe. My mind races with worst-case scenarios, and no matter how much I try to push them away, they creep in, clawing at my sanity.I sit by Lily’s hospital bed, my fingers lightly brushing her soft curls. She looks so small under the blankets, her skin still pale, her body fighting a battle that I can’t help her with. It tears me apart. Every hour feels like a lifetime, and I cling to any shred of hope the doctors offer, though their reassurances often feel hollow. I hate that I have to rely on them, on treatments I barely understand. Damien is always nearby. He sits beside me, his hand on my shoulder or holding mine when I tremble. "She’s going to be okay," he tells me over and over again but I know he’s just as scared. I can see it in his eyes, the way they linger on Lily’s fragile

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2024-10-05
  • He Hurt Me, Now He Wants Me Back   Another Beginning

    SIX MONTHS LATER…Imogene Scott The late afternoon sun filters through the large windows, casting a golden glow on the room. I stand at the door beside Damien, welcoming our guests with a smile. It’s Lily’s third birthday and I can hardly believe it. Six months ago, the very thought of celebrating anything seemed impossible. Now, here we are, surrounded by balloons, streamers, and the sound of children’s laughter filling Damien’s house.He had insisted on hosting the party at his house because he thinks it’s going to be a hassle for guests to attend a party at an apartment on the sixth floor of building. I totally disagree but I had to give in because if I didn’t, he would bring up how over the past few months, I’ve been turning down his offer for me and Lily to move in with him.I glance at Damien as he greets our guests. His hand is resting lightly on the small of my back. His smile is easy and relaxed. He leans toward me and whispers, "I can’t believe we’ve made it this far.

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2024-10-06
  • He Hurt Me, Now He Wants Me Back   While Again

    Imogene ScottThe party hums with laughter and excitement, the clatter of children playing blending into the background as I watch Lily twirl around in her princess gown. She looks so happy. It's everything I ever wanted for her, and more. The months of worry and fear feel like a is finally behind us and I can’t help but be grateful.My phone buzzes in my pocket, pulling me from my thoughts. I glance at the screen and see an unknown number. For a second, I think about ignoring it, but step outside onto the porch, away from the noise to answer the call."Hello?" I answer."Imogene, it’s Elinor."I freeze, my hand tightening around the phone. Elinor. I haven’t spoken to her in months. She came to the hospital once to see Lily and that was it. I told her never to show her face in front of me again. She called me, left messages, but I haven’t had the strength to engage. I had to time to deal with her. Now, she’s using a different number. Of course.I try to end the call, my thumb hove

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2024-10-06
  • He Hurt Me, Now He Wants Me Back   The Favour

    Imogene Scott I’m unable to take my eyes off the ring as Breonna and I pack up after the party. Emmett also stayed behind to help and for some reason, those two do not seem to get along at all. I leave Breonna and Emmett to oversee taking down the balloons while Damien and I walk our remaining guests out of the house—Dad, Lila, Aunt Tilly and Kia.“I’m so glad you came, Dad.” I say, pulling him into a hug.He pats my back. “I’m so glad everything is finally working out.”Lila gives me a hug too, while Damien shakes hands with Dad. As Dad and Lila get into their car and drive off, I turn to Aunt Tilly and Kia.“Thank you so much for coming, Aunt.” I say, putting on my best fake smile.After saying his goodbyes, Damien goes back into the house, leaving just me and Aunt Tilly. “I…want to ask you for a favor, Imogene.” Aunt Tilly says as soon as Damien disappears into the house.I swallow hard. I should’ve known. She suddenly showed up after all these years. I should’ve known somethi

    Terakhir Diperbarui : 2024-10-08

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  • He Hurt Me, Now He Wants Me Back   Pretend To Be Fine

    Imogene Scott The first thing I notice when I wake up is the empty space beside me. The sheets are still warm, carrying the faint scent of Damien’s cologne, but he’s already gone. I sit up slowly, rubbing my eyes. The morning light filters through the curtains. The scent of something cooking drifts through the air—eggs, maybe omelets. I push the duvet off and slide my feet into my flip-flops. As I walk out of the bedroom and down the stairs, the soft sounds of laughter and clinking utensils become clearer. In the kitchen, Damien is standing by the stove, a spatula in one hand and an apron lazily tied around his waist. Lily is perched on a high chair, her small hands clapping together as she cheers him on. “Good morning, Mummy!” she says excitedly when she sees me. A tired smile pulls at my lips as I walk over. “Good morning, baby. How are you feeling?” I gently brush a strand of hair out of her face, studying her carefully. “I feel better now!” she announces proudly, her

  • He Hurt Me, Now He Wants Me Back   .

    Imogene ScottIt’s midnight, and I still can’t sleep. I lie on my back, staring at the ceiling because my mind refuses to quiet down. The room is dark except for the faint glow of moonlight seeping through the curtains. The house is silent. I curl my arms around my stomach, my fingers lightly tracing the curve of my belly. Two months. That’s all the time I have before the twins arrive, and yet I don’t feel ready. I barely feel capable of handling Lily some days. How am I supposed to take care of two more babies? I exhale slowly, willing the thoughts away, but they keep creeping back in. Damien was right about one thing—I’ve been forgetful lately. Not just little things like where I left my phone or if I locked the front door, but important things. I should have cleaned up the broken glass earlier. I should have been more careful. What if it had been worse? What if Lily had gotten seriously hurt because of me? My throat tightens. I know I should see a doctor, but the very

  • He Hurt Me, Now He Wants Me Back   Stubborn

    Damien ShawI let out a slow breath, my fingers pressing against my temples as I watch Imogene walk out of the room. The door doesn’t slam, but the sound of it clicking shut is just as final. My jaw tightens. Of course, she walked away. That’s what she does when she doesn’t want to hear something, shuts down, closes herself off. I loosen my tie, feeling the frustration settle in my chest. I hadn’t meant to start an argument. But how could she act like this wasn’t serious? It’s not just about her anymore. She’s been forgetting things more and more lately, and now Lily’s gotten hurt because of it. Just a small cut, sure. But what if it had been worse? What if she had stepped on something deeper, something that couldn’t be patched up with a bandage and a sticker? I exhale through my nose, rubbing a hand down my face. Fighting with Imogene never gets me anywhere. She’s stubborn. Too stubborn. But damn it, I don’t want to wake up one day and realize something terrible has happened be

  • He Hurt Me, Now He Wants Me Back   Help

    Imogene Scott I carefully press the small, pastel-colored sticker onto the bandage covering Lily’s tiny foot. A smiling cartoon bear grins back at me, as if that alone can erase my guilt. I kiss her forehead, inhaling the soft, baby-powder scent of her hair. "I'm sorry, baby," I whisper, brushing a stray curl away from her face. Lily shifts on the couch, pulling the plush blanket over her lap. "It's not Mummy’s fault," she says in her small, serious voice. "Lily wasn’t careful." My heart clenches. Even at four, she’s trying to take the blame for something that’s entirely mine. I should’ve cleaned up the glass right away. I should’ve been more careful. I lift her tiny hand to my lips and kiss it. "Do you want me to get you anything?" Lily’s eyes brighten. "Chocolates!" I shake my head, smiling despite myself. "You know you can’t have sweets past seven, baby. It’s almost eight." "Please, Mummy?" She pouts, her big brown eyes glaring at me.I sigh. "Fine," I relent,

  • He Hurt Me, Now He Wants Me Back   Remember

    Imogene ScottI jolt awake, my breath coming in short, ragged gasps. For a moment, I don’t know where I am. The room is dimly lit, the heavy curtains keeping most of the daylight out. My heart is racing, my body damp with sweat. I sit up slowly, pressing a hand to my chest. The dream is already slipping away, but I know what it was about. Georgia. It’s always Georgia. My dreams are always about her. Mostly about that night she died.I exhale shakily and push a damp strand of hair from my face. My nightgown clings to my back, sticky with sweat. The dream lingers, making my skin prickle with unease. Why won’t these nightmares stop?I reach for the glass of water on my nightstand, desperate for something to soothe my dry throat, but my hand meets empty space. I blink, frowning. It’s always there. I always leave it there. And then I remember—I moved the jug before my nap. But where? I try to picture it, but my mind feels sluggish, foggy. Did I put it in the kitchen? On the dr

  • He Hurt Me, Now He Wants Me Back   Need To Know

    Damien Shaw I’m at my desk, working through a contract revision when Kia steps into my office. I don’t look up immediately, still focused on the document in front of me. “Sir, someone’s here to see you,” she says. I finally glance up, rubbing the bridge of my nose. The first thought that comes to mind is the damn principal. I hope he hasn’t shown up here to grovel in person. I already made it clear—either they fix their behavior toward Lily, or I pull every last cent I’ve donated to that school. I don’t need another pointless apology. But when the door opens wider, it’s not the principal. It’s Sheila. I frown, leaning back in my chair as I take her in. She looks… fine. Not sick. But Imogene told me Sheila was unwell and wouldn’t be coming in for a few days. So what the hell is she doing here? “Sheila,” I say, watching her carefully. “Mr. Shaw.” She nods in greeting. “What are you doing here?” My tone is sharp.She offers a small smile, shifting on her feet. “I was

  • He Hurt Me, Now He Wants Me Back   Something Wrong

    Imogene ScottI take my time getting Lily ready for school the next morning. With Sheila still sick and not coming in, the task is entirely mine, and I don’t mind. I cherish these moments—though today, my mind feels sluggish. I’m bothered by Georgia’s bracelet I found yesterday and the strange sense of forgetfulness creeping into my life lately. Lily sits on the edge of my bed, swinging her little legs back and forth as I button up her white blouse. She tilts her head back to look up at me.“Mommy, what’s wrong?” she asks. I pause for a second, startled. “Nothing, baby.” I smooth down her collar, making sure it sits perfectly. “I just want to remind you that if anything happens at school, if you feel sick or if someone makes you uncomfortable, you have to tell me, okay?” Lily nods, her curls bouncing with the movement. “Yes, Mommy.” “That’s my good girl.” I kiss the top of her head and take her small hand in mine, as I lead her out of the house. The drive to school is fi

  • He Hurt Me, Now He Wants Me Back   Solution

    Imogene Scott Lily giggles as she picks at the last piece of her banana pancake. Her tiny fingers are sticky with syrup. I watch her as I rest my head against the back of the chair. But my mind is somewhere else. The bracelet. I close my eyes and tilt my head back, staring up at the ceiling as if the answer is hidden somewhere in the cracks. Did I put it there? Had I forgotten? That’s the only logical explanation. Lately, I’ve been forgetful—missing appointments, losing track of time, misplacing things. Maybe this is just another slip, another thing lost in the chaos of my mind. But it doesn’t feel right. I inhale deeply, my fingers curling into my lap. I need to see it again. “Lily, baby, I’ll be right back,” I say, pushing my chair back. She nods, too focused on her food to question me. I walk upstairs slowly, each step. When I reach my bedroom, I hesitate for a moment before stepping inside. The room is dim. I make my way to the dresser. The drawer creaks

  • He Hurt Me, Now He Wants Me Back   Am I Losing My Mind?

    Imogene Scott Lily swings her legs under the table, her tiny feet barely brushing the ground as she happily digs into her mint chocolate ice cream. A small smear of green is at the corner of her mouth. She hums quietly as she eats, completely lost in her own little world. I should be able to enjoy this moment. Watching her be this happy should bring me peace, but it doesn’t. My stomach twists as I stare at her even though my own ice cream is melting in the cup. This is my fault. I shouldn’t have let things get this far. I shouldn’t have let my past mistakes bleed into Lily’s life. She’s just a child, my child, and she deserves to grow up without the weight of my sins pressing down on her. She looks up suddenly, “Mommy, are you okay?” I force a smile, even though my face feels stiff. “Of course, baby.” Lily nods, satisfied with my answer, and goes back to her ice cream. “Very good, Mommy,” she says in her soft, sweet voice before taking another spoonful. I w

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