I lay in bed for a long time, struggling with my thoughts, shying away from taking the real steps I needed to figure out what my problem was. For some reason I probably should have been aware of, I didn't want to know. I wanted out! Why couldn't that be enough?As I sprawled there torturing myself, I heard my door creak and the soft pad of little feet. I watched Meira as she picked her way on tiptoe across my floor and to the end of my bed. She twisted a handful of quilt in her tiny fingers and peered up at me through her silky black bangs, eyes wide and almost completely black in the darkness."Are you awake?" She whispered."Nope," I answered. "Come back later."Meira giggled. She had the cutest giggle, clean and fresh and genuine. She always made me feel way younger than I was.I giggled back.Meira made her way further up the bed, twirling her slender body, her pure white nightgown flaring out at her ankles as she half-danced, half-tiptoed to me. She leaned over the bed and t
Despite the endless promises I made, the next day while prepping for school I found myself yet again a slave to trend setting and lip-gloss. So much for the new and improved Syd who didn't take crap from anyone. In fact, by the time I hit the front steps, I was a nervous wreck. How much damage had I done? If they thought I was a freak before, what was I classified as a target now?Unfortunately, yes. Might as well have had a bull's-eye painted on my chest. From the moment I set foot in the front lobby of Wilding Springs High, I opened myself to the bombardment of Alison's revenge. Not just Alison, either, from the looks I took from the general population. I was in it deep and even those who might have felt some sympathy gave me a wide berth. They knew a sinking ship when they saw one. Nobody wanted to get sucked in when the vortex of Alison decided my doom was at hand.Still, they started small, bless them, softened me up a bit, eased me into it. Nothing overt, at least not at first.
I didn't even bother trying to hide my dejection when I walked through the door at home. By that point, I didn't care one way or the other who saw me or knew. Whatever. I told myself it didn't matter, they couldn't really hurt me. They were only words and stupid rotten idiots and we'd be moving soon anyway. I'd be able to start fresh with a new batch of horrible people to try to avoid at all costs.I walked into the kitchen to my mother's smiling face and a fresh batch of cookies.Funny what can make you break down and sob your heart out.As I fell totally and utterly apart, I felt Mom's arms go around me. I clung to her like she was my only anchor to the real world. As I wept into her, pouring out my frustration and grief in huge heaves of choking tears, she held on to me and stroked my hair.How come we couldn't keep that connection?I finally collapsed, finding one of the kitchen chairs in time to catch myself from slipping to the floor. Mom grabbed one of her own and pulled it
In bed, I poured over the day, finding it hard to shut down my mind. Now that I made my decision about school, I couldn't wait. I was looking forward to talking to Brad, to making friends, to stop volunteering as a punching bag and just be myself. And if they didn't like me? No big change there. I was mad at myself for letting the years of bullying get to me. When had I gotten so weak, so unwilling to stand up for myself? When did being like them become more important than being me?My mind shied away from the answer. I think I knew wherever it came from was at the core of my distaste for magic. Ever since I could remember, I felt an aversion to using my power, like something inside me screamed "No!" every time I tried to tap in. It didn't hurt or anything, aside from making my stomach queasy and giving me a brief case of the dizzies. It almost felt like my conscience trying to stop me. Over the years I'd grown to listen to it. Maybe it meant I wasn't supposed to be a witch after all.
I must have been way more tired than I thought because the next thing I remembered was my mom leaning over me, worry plain.She was about to be very unhappy."Syd," she helped me sit up, my comforter collapsing around me as I rubbed the blur from my eyes. "What happened?"I could tell from her stricken look she already knew her wards were gone."Not sure," I answered, getting up from the floor and gathering up my pillow and quilt. "But Gram's safe and sound, so no worries." I yawned, almost missing the fear on her face."Did she get out?" Mom stared at the door, arms hugging herself."Yeah," I said, "but she made the mistake of turning the outside light on. I spotted her and reached her in time. Man, I don't know what the Griesan's did to her but she was stirring up one whopper of a spell." I grinned.Mom spun on me. "This isn't funny, Sydlynn," she snapped. "Not even a little bit."My defenses slammed up so hard I barely had time to brace myself. "She's safe, isn't she? So are
The walk to school went a lot faster than normal, probably because I was so pumped up from the fight with Mom and Erica. I was still a raging bundle by the time I hit the steps. I didn't even for a second think about what might be awaiting me care of Alison and company. In fact, I already decided to stop waiting for them to do to me, but to seek them out instead and get whatever was coming face to face. Much preferable to being stabbed in the back over and over again.I'm pretty sure my new aggressive nature scared the crap out of the entire school, not just the mean girls. I thought the other students scattered like frightened birds on Monday. Today was a whole new ball game and I was calling the plays.Each time I encountered one of Alison's girls, instead of the punishment they planned, I had the satisfaction of seeing their sick little plot sputter and fail in their hands, unused, forgotten. I learned one thing very quickly--these bullies only picked on those who were scared of t
I made it through the rest of the day without having to turn down any more offers of best friendship, so I felt a little more emotionally stable by the time the last bell rang. I was free to escape. I could only guess Alison went home for the rest of the day because she wasn't in any of my usual classes nor at any of her typical haunts during breaks.Guess she was sick or something.I knew how she felt.I tried to talk to Brad after school but missed him. I know he saw me, but he drove off with his buddies before I had a chance to say anything to him. It felt important I know one way or another if he was angry with me.Part of me was mad at him anyway. He brought this on, after all. And how dare he be angry with me for standing up for myself? Brad could go piss off, if that was the case.The other part of me, the part that wished things could be different, wanted to know Brad did everything he could to help but his friends wouldn't let him.Yeah, right. Even I wasn't that clueles
It was almost dark by the time I arrived home. I trudged into the back yard, dragging my bag along behind me. It wasn't until I reached the ward surrounding the house, though, that I felt the presence of my father.Just lovely. She had to drag my dad into this.I went immediately to the basement, do not pass go, do not collect a butt whoopin'. I made it down the stairs with my shoulders back, unwilling to let her see me as weak, not caring what either of them thought right then. My mind was already made up. As soon as Uncle Frank and Sunny rose for the night, I was going to ask them to help me get away from the family once and for all.I walked across the basement into the center of the pentagram as my parents watched. I took my place in the middle of the ancient symbol and stopped there, crossing my arms over my chest, feeling very calm, calmer in fact than I expected to be under the circumstances.Of course, it helped Dad radiated sympathy and love.Cheater."Hi, Syd," he said.
How was this for a happy ending?Bittersweet, this walk down the halls of the newly restored mansion. I'd been through this before, but I knew this time, I didn't have anything hanging over my head.I loved Liam. But I was finally marrying the man I was meant to be with.The pressure was off this time too, our battles won. I could enjoy my wedding without worrying about Fate or the Brotherhood or Ameline looming in the near future.Awesome.I even found Wilding Springs was fine without the influence of the Gate, just as Fergus said. That it still felt like magic. Probably a combination of the century or so of the Gate's influence deeply mired in the whole town. Not to mention the presence of the Wild Hunt still snoozing in my back yard.And the coven.I didn't worry we'd have to move anytime soon. Good thing. I kind of liked being in one place for once.Made me think of Sonja, of Liam again. His mother disappeared after the night she met Gabriel. I tried to look for her, feelin
Another mirror. Another dress. Totally different experience.I stood on what amounted to a pedestal as at least a dozen or so giggling vampires tugged, pushed and laced me into the biggest, heaviest mass of fabric and jewels I'd ever seen in my entire life. The thing weighed so much I had to have my alter egos help me carry it so it wouldn't drive me to my knees.This was the punishment I got for picking out my first wedding dress alone.This one was, at least, the pale ivory I'd requested. White would have felt disrespectful to Liam's memory. And Mom happily acquiesced before losing her freaking mind.And when I appealed to Sunny for assistance in my mother's sudden loss of sanity?Yeah.I was surrounded by vampires, wasn't I?Shenka hovered, her ball gown sparkling, covered in as many gems as could possibly be stuck to her. Again Mom went with the jewel tones. I guess she figured a good idea was a terrible thing to waste.And considering only a handful of people had seen the
I sat on the side of my bed, looking out the window into the quiet street, the buzzing streetlight below me oddly comforting. I'd tried to sleep after returning home, put Gabriel to bed with Charlotte who met me at the front door after Sass, Galleytrot and I strolled home in the sharpening night air. Her massive scowl told me I was in horrible trouble as she took my son from me.Okay, so I didn't exactly put him to bed.Snort.Galleytrot and Sassafras naturally abandoned me for her room, leaving me alone. Which was fine, it really was. I had a hot shower, pulled on my favorite robe. Had a little cry. Not much. Just a pathetic little spill of tears I held over from the Gate.From Liam.And felt my heart ease at last.Wrapped myself in the love in my house, the people sleeping there. Shenka and Charlotte, Galleytrot and Sass. Gram and Demetrius. All of us, happy just to be home.But sleep wouldn't come. My mind struggled with belief. That Ameline was really dead. That Gabriel was
I looked down into my son's sleeping face before sinking into the rocking chair beside his crib and releasing of the last of my stress. He was really too big for the thing now, but I needed to do some thinking about a bed and a room for him and just didn't have the energy to deal.A soft, furry body landed in my lap, Sassafras purring as he kneaded my leg a few times before turning in a circle and settling himself."Nice to see them together again," he said.I knew exactly who he meant. Mom and Dad wasted no time taking off for Harvard for some private time. I blushed at the thought of my parents and what they were probably doing right now.Shudder.Galleytrot groaned from the end of the crib, eyes flaring with red fire as he looked up."What about you, Syd?" His rumbling voice shifted my shudder to a shiver. "Have you thought about a new mate?"Not going there. "I've been thinking," I said, totally changing the subject. Yes, on purpose. No judging. "About Gabriel and his power.
Meira grinned at me like it was funny. And it was, in a way. She sat behind Dad's old desk-Ahbi's, too-and bounced a little in the chair."Comfy," she said. Winked.Oh. My. Swearword.Dad laughed, hugged me abruptly. "Meems, pumpkin," loved his pet name for her, though I liked cupcake better despite years of protest, "I'm sorry to do this to you.""You've already apologized, Dad," she said, looking quite pleased with herself. Hard to remember she was only fourteen with that evil grin, hands rubbing together in expectation. "I'm going to do some housecleaning first. Then the real fun will start."I shook my head, giggling. "Just leave a few of the planes standing."She shrugged, inspected her nails. "We'll see.""I take it the Node is fine?" It felt fine, Demonicon still intact at least."It was in balance long before Ahbi took up residence," Meira said. "She was only just hitchhiking anyway."I looked up at Dad who sighed deeply, lines of anxiety leaving his face."You're cra
The sparkling kneepads attached to my heavy leather pants caught the light of the triple suns overhead as I shifted for the millionth time, foot bobbing on the end of my crossed leg. Sassafras hissed at me. The bobbing stopped.For the moment. The longer we sat here, the more agitated I felt. Didn't help it took Pagomaris an age and a half to dress me while Meira was being man-handled in her bedroom."Your demon form would be so much easier to dress, Your Highness." Hopefulness lit the aide's eyes as she smiled and scrunched her shoulders like talking to me as if I were a child would endear her."Not." I scowled at her. "Work with this or nothing." I gestured down at my human form.And she sighed.Gestured for her minions to come forward.Left me to them as though I was no longer worth her effort, returning to my sister who grinned at me through the open door of her bedroom.Argh.I did concede to shifting my size, remembering how small I felt next to Meira when she was in demo
I glared at my reflection in the mirror. "I'm not going.""You are." Sassafras growled softly at me before sighing heavily. "And so am I, remember?""They're not going to make you wear a ridiculous outfit and parade around like you're their property." More glaring.I. Was. Not. Going.Sass hopped down from the bed and waddled to my side, tail quivering. "You can't let Meira down," he said, leaping into my lap. I stroked his fur absently. "It would be a terrible thing for her to have to sit through Harry's marriage alone.""So maybe he shouldn't get married." Whiny much? But there was the crux, wasn't it?Today was my father's wedding day.And the last place I wanted to be was Demonicon. In fact, a hole somewhere deep and far away would have been preferable. Anything other than having to endure my father marrying a demon.That would be the end for Mom and Dad. The real end. And I didn't think I could handle it."Harry has made his choice," Sassafras said, meeting my eyes in the
I was already turning and moving back inside by the time Mom began her little speech to wrap up the trial. I had no desire to listen, moving on from it though Celeste's foul stench remained on me. A quick push of magic cleared my nose, clothes and hair of the stink, even as I strode with ever-increasing speed toward the back of the now-emptying chamber and the hall beyond.A startled Enforcer was the lucky recipient of the bag of marshmallows, slapped against his chest on the way by.I seemed to have lost my appetite.Was so focused on my final target I almost ran right into Payten when she dodged out of the shadows of an archway and stepped in front of me.My first instinct was to hit her so hard with magic they wouldn't find her body.Ever.Second instinct was to flatten her into a Paytensquish and smear her all over the floor with my shoes.Yum.Third impulse won, partially because I was a sucker for a sobbing girl, Enforcer or not.Hated enemy or not.She radiated grief,
I'd sat here before, on a bench in the Council chamber, watching a trial unfold before me, Shenka at my side. But this one was far different. I had no regrets, no old grief-at least not for the creature about to stand before my mother.Any sorrow I felt around Celeste Oberman centered on the Hayle family members she'd killed. Martin and Louisa Vega, the darling couple who loved and cared about me when there were times no one else in the coven seemed to. Sandra Crossman, leaving her husband, James, alone to raise their daughter.Old wounds long since healed over, but never, ever forgotten.Worse, Gabriel wasn't with me. Antsy pants wriggled my butt in my velvet skirt as I fidgeted and held him tight with my magic while he laughed at something and ignored me.My own son, a traitor.Sigh.Shenka squeezed my hand, smiled a little. "He's fine," she said."I know," I whispered back. Not needing to. We weren't the only ones chattering. The gathering for Mia's burning-it seemed so long