PatheticI took deep breaths when I was finally alone in the room. I must have been crazy to let him hug me like that. I'd like to think I was just carried away by the mood and by guilt for his birthday. When we don't even get along well until now. Or if I can call our treatment with each other 'good' now.I'm still angry with the situation I'm in. And I don't think I would ever get over it. Especially as the days that I do this go by, the guilt that I feel gets heavier and heavier.I looked at my phone to see if Jade had left me updates about Francis, but there were none. I don't know whether to be relieved or more worried. I even told aunt Dehlia that I will visit when I don't have work. I wonder if we would be going home early tomorrow?I just changed into casual clothes. I don't plan to go swimming because it's cold so I didn't bother packing a swimsuit. We won't spend the night there either so I think it's fine not to bring any other clothes.I had just finished getting dressed wh
ScaredI wanted to laugh out of anger, despair, and hopelessness. Why do I have to go through all this? I have asked myself that many times. And just like the previous times, I still couldn't get an answer. Being happy is a luxury to me. My wish and dream are simple - to live in peace. But even that seems elusive and impossible.I kept asking myself 'why' as I drowned myself. I didn't mind struggling even when I didn't know how to swim. And I don't expect anyone up there to save me either. I just closed my eyes as my back touched the cold floor of the swimming pool. I heard water splashing but I couldn't care less.The next thing I noticed, I was out of the water and someone was putting pressure on my chest. Noise filled my ears but I couldn't understand a word. Then something cold touched my mouth, blowing air in it. Only then did my breathing seems to return. I coughed so hard that I almost lost my breath again."Fuck, I thought I lost you." Someone uttered and hugged me tightly.I w
EngagementI barely moved from where I was standing. I was almost deafened by the silence as Aunt Dehlia continued to approach. I can sense her anger and I couldn't look at her straight."What are you doing here?" She asked coldly.I closed my fist tightly as I weave the words inside my head. I didn't know what to say but judging from her coldness towards me, even if I explain myself right now, it wouldn't help. But I want to take chances, and I hoped they will be open-minded to my explanation."I want to see Francis," I said holding back my emotions."You know I treated you like my own child. I'm happy to see my son happy because of you because that's all I want. Seeing them happy. And I also see that you love my son, so I don't understand why you did this to him," she said, her voice trembling.I felt as if I had been stabbed several times when I heard it. I violently wiped the tears that ran down my cheeks but the tightness in my chest only got worse."T-Tita, let me explain-""Why?
Hurt"Are you going crazy?” I couldn't believe it. I just can't. I haven't even completely moved on from Francis's family and then this? Can't anyone give me a break even for one second? "I'm afraid I'm being serious here, Miss Villareal." His business-like tone came back which had me wondering. As well as his cold gaze. And yet here I am hoping, slightly hoping, he had stopped being hostile with me as we spent time together. I want to laugh knowing that, right, we have to pretend in front of everyone. What was I thinking? It was foolish of me to think that somehow, he had softened toward me. I held in my tears, even my anger. He remained serious and unfazed. After a while, I gradually weakened, losing the strength to fight and give up. All these days I have been trying to struggle my way out. And now I am drained. I wiped the remnants of tears on my cheek. I stared at him boldly and nodded. "Whatever you say," I said out of breath. I didn't look at his reaction and couldn’t care
DevastatinglyLideon got me dolled up for the interview. In the hotel room where I was staying, I was restless and kept walking everywhere. I can't go out too in fear that one of the reporters would see me. Lideon also told me not to go anywhere. I looked at my reflection in the mirror once again to straighten up my face. I almost didn't recognize myself after dressing up and doing my make-up a while ago. The make-up artist managed to highlight my natural look with light touches. And from the usual ponytail and bun, she decided to let down my light brown and wavy hair. I don't usually wear this hairstyle because I thought it was messy to look at. The maroon tube-type dress also suits my pale skin. The stylist who fixed me earlier said that Lideon chose those, as well as the heels and accessories I'm wearing now. I haven't seen him since he picked me up early this morning. I had barely woken up when Papa knocked on my door to tell me that Lideon had come to pick me up. He was so cold
GoneHis parents met my father just like they wanted. I could feel my father’s nervousness and it was obvious in his movements. Ever since I told him about this meeting, he became restless. Apart from Lideon and me, he also knows that all this is just for show so I understand that he is not comfortable facing Lideon's parents. And just like me, he couldn't do anything about it.Lideon's parents are too nice that guilt is eating me up. To this day, I still don't understand how he can lie to his parents like this. He could've told them he didn't want to settle down just yet if that's what he feels.They started talking about the date of the wedding and all that. I just got more nervous. My mind is cloudy and I still couldn't believe this is happening."Oh, if you hadn't told us the day before, we wouldn't know you already proposed to her!" Mrs. Martin exclaimed almost in disbelief."I'm sorry, Mom. I wanted to surprise her first then tell you about it,” Lideon murmured while sipping on h
Demise"Raul, please! Let me go just this once! I have to go to the hospital!"I couldn’t stop myself from shouting at the entrance of the hotel. I don't give a damn if I'm making a scene here. And I don't even care about the curious guests who are interrupted by my loud voice. Oh god. I need to see Francis! I need to go to him!"Mrs. Martin, I'm sorry. But Lideon ordered-""Damn that!" Hearing that name only irritated me more. But I immediately calmed myself down and begged again. My tears just won’t stop from flowing freely down my cheeks. "I-I have to go to F-Francis, please. Have mercy on me. J-Just this once," I cried still, getting weak now.It has been a while since Julienne's call and my whole body is still shaking. I don’t believe it. I can't believe it. He won't leave me. He can't. He promised.Those thoughts brought me to my knees. Raul caught me quickly but I completely lost my strength."Please," I sobbed."What is happening here, Raul?"I woke up when I heard Lideon's fam
Wife' 'You will be my wife real soon.' 'I love you very much, Almene.' I closed my eyes as those words kept playing inside my head. They sound like a lullaby trying to put me to sleep. My tears fell nonstop. As if it had finally sunk into me. He's gone. He's gone and he's never coming back. There is no hope of ever seeing him again. With those thoughts, my chest tightened with excruciating pain. That the only way I could lessen it is through hurting myself. But I feel that any physical pain cannot equal the pain in my chest. Still, just to ease it a little. "Babe, why does this have to happen? Y-You know I can't handle it. Y-You know I can't. You said you wouldn't leave me. Y-You said you'll be my family. B-Babe it hurts here so much," I cried pointing at my chest. I could barely breathe because of the tightness in my chest. I thought I had overcome the greatest pains in my life. From my mother's death, my father drifting away, and the sacrifices I made just to finish my studie
AccidentHis eyes looked like a black hole.That was the first thing I noticed when I saw him. His eyes emit no emotions and all it made me speechless. That's what I keep coming back to as I stare inside the hotel room I booked on my way here. Raul went back to Manila as per my instruction. He didn't even want to agree at first but eventually, he agreed too. Lideon bombarded me with calls all day asking if I was okay. He just finished calling so I have the chance to think now.I couldn't help but feel pity for that man now that I'd seen him. I was also very hurt when Francis died, while he lost his fiancee too in that accident. The article said that his fiancee died on the spot while he was rushed to the hospital and survived.I walked through the small balcony of the room. I was greeted by the cold wind which gave me comfort. My eyes were fixed on the sparkling lights of the different establishments. The road is also busy with passing vehicles.I wonder what it felt like living that
BurnMy tears fell before I knew it. My body trembled slightly from the sudden burst of emotion. I have never paid attention to what happened after the accident. The only thing I was concerned about during those times was Francis' condition. For once...it didn't occur to me that this could happen."Hey, hey."Lideon tried getting my attention by pulling me from my seat. I couldn't move my body in shock that he had to hold both of my arms to stand up. My tears poured down even more when he hugged me."I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't know. I won't let you do this," he whispered over and over again while I cried into his chest.I couldn't talk properly until I got home. I always end up spacing out thinking about the article and the accident. And the fact that I have to face that man and talk to him bothers me even more."Do you want us to eat out or we'll head home straight?"I went back to my senses when Lideon held my hand. I almost forgot we were in the car going home. I stared at him,
Article I couldn't take my eyes off him even when he was busy with other things. I was never like this before we set sail on that honeymoon. Maybe because we became more intimate with each other? Or was it because he confessed? Even though I'm confused, I can't deny that I'm happy with what's happening. I hate to admit it but I can't deny either that I'm starting to develop something for him. Even when a lot of things are unclear between us, especially his sudden confession of feelings. He had always been straightforward, I'm aware of that. But, something else is bothering me. There was nothing else in my mind but that even in the middle of the presentation by Lideon's employees. They were presenting different designs of buildings. They were great. Even though I don't know much about Architecture, I know how to look at a good work of art. "I heard you personally wanted Mr. David Allen for this project, Mr. Webb?" Lideon's voice is controlled and stern. Only then did I come to my
Smitten They looked up at the same time as I slammed the door shut. Lindsay smirked at me and bent closer to Lideon. She even rested his chest on Lideon's shoulder a little before walking away. "Oops! I thought your 'wife' isn't coming?" She said mockingly emphasizing the word 'wife.' Although affected, I just looked at them with indifference. Lideon come to his senses just then and quickly stood up and walked towards me. "It's not what you think," he quickly held my arm when I was about to turn my back on him. Instead of looking back at him, I turned back to see Lindsay smiling. She's giving me the kind of look that she knows something I don't. And that made me feel even worse. "Looks like you're doing something important. Am I disturbing you?" There was an emphasis in my voice when I asked Lideon. I stared at his hand on me then at his face. There was confusion in his eyes. He clenched his jaw and let out an exasperated sigh. He looked sideways at Lindsay. "You can go now and
Torture "What are you thinking?" He whispered softly. I didn't say a word. It doesn't feel right to open up to him just because something happened between us. I can’t get used to this. And I don't even know if it's right to let myself like this. Even more so, until now I still can't get Francis out of my mind. It was only a few weeks since he was buried. And I don't think what I'm feeling is right. I don't know anymore. Maybe it's safer to keep my distance even after what happened. I don’t feel right about everything at all. He caressed my stomach lightly which tingled my insides. He gently brought me in front of him and peered into my face. "You're making me nervous," he said and touched my cheek. God, it would have been easier if he was not treating me like this. I roamed my eyes around and all I could ever see were unfamiliar faces. He couldn't be doing this for people to see, right? If so, why? I couldn't bring myself to ask him either. What are we now that something happene
FearIt's probably because I'm tipsy. Right. It's probably the alcohol. There's no way I'd be this affected by his gazes when I'm sober. It's just because of the alcohol. This heat is also because of the wine.But why can't I withdraw myself from staring back at him?I know I should gather my senses together. Because I know I'll regret it all when I wake up the next day. This heat, this tension... This desire. It's just for now."Almene," his hoarse voice tingled my skin.I blinked and stared at him properly. His eyes remained the same. The emotions I see in them are still the same. Desire, lust, and something else I couldn't name."O-Oh?" I manage to utter despite my dry throat.I don't understand myself anymore. I want him near, so near until I couldn't get hold of my sanity. I want him so close to me I feel like dying. What is happening to my body?His fingers trailed from the bed to the hem of my shirt. His hand lightly touched my skin which secretly startled me. His hand is so war
WantI stared at the blue sky reflecting on the waves as I tried to gather my thoughts. Why I felt that way I can't even figure out. These past days have been confusing, even though I know it shouldn't be.I shouldn't get curious about who that woman is. That wouldn't be right in any way. I have been scolding myself for thinking about it for a while now. Or is it because of what happened last night? Maybe.The deafening silence bore me and I decided to go out and explore the whole cruise. What else would I be doing on a ship like this? I still don't know where it's going and I forgot to ask Lideon. Not that it matters. It's all just a show. So might as well enjoy myself while this extravagance lasts.I went out to see if Lideon was around but he wasn't. I couldn't even catch his shadow from the guests entering the corridors. Most of the guests are foreigners. There are a few who look Filipino.I started walking to where Lideon and I went to eat. I didn't pay much attention to the row o
GreedyI don't know how he managed to convince me of this. But here I am, following him while dragging my small luggage. The cruise ship staff met us and took our suitcases. I turned to look at Lideon's bodyguards, the van that we rode in just left."Let's go," Lideon turned to me and held my waist.I followed him mindlessly, unable to take my eyes off the surroundings. His warm hand ignited my skin and I jolted a little with his touch. It didn't help that I couldn't forget what happened last night.It was my first time being intimate on that level with a man. Francis and I have been in a relationship for a long time, but our intimacy never reaches that level. Sure he kisses me and I do, too. But what I felt last night with Lideon's touch and kisses was different.I shook my head to clear my thoughts. But no matter what I do, what happened keeps peeking into my brain. And to this day, I'm still not sure if something happened between us or not. How do I know that without asking him? Oh
HoneymoonWhat I thought would ease my problem made it worse. Lideon held me firmly while eyeing the man in front of us. I went back to my senses when I realized what was happening."Back off," he said gritting his teeth."How will I know you're telling the truth?" The man replied cynically.Oh no, this is not good. Even if I want to speak, I just get dizzy and can't think straight. I held onto Lideon's suit and tried pulling him to get his attention. Because I know if this goes on, he will attack the man.The tension between the two only stopped when some of Lideon's bodyguards came in to come between the two, including Raul."Is there anything wrong? Mrs. Martin seems to be very drunk," he said looking at me for a moment. I couldn't even look back at him properly."Nothing, Raul. I'm taking her home now," Lideon said firmly, still giving the man a bad look.I closed my eyes when I couldn't take it anymore. I am very dizzy and sleepy. I just got distracted again and saw Lideon adjusti