Chapter 4 – A Prince's Heartbreak

14 YEARS AGO

HUNJI

A week ago, Divya told me she wanted to go home. That she needed a break. She hadn’t given me a date when she was leaving, nor had she specified how long she had planned on being away. The taste of ash sat heavily on my tongue and my wolf’s mood of disappointment mirrored my own, causing a deep and dark ache in my chest.

The last three nights she was here, she had slept in a different room. I had woken in the middle of the night to a feeling of burning that spread across my skin from head to toe. It was short-lived and I put it down to anxiety and the impending departure of my mate. Still, the situation left me feeling… less.

“Did she leave?”

I looked up at Rostam and nodded then bowed my head back down. It had only been a few days since Divya had gone back to her parent’s home. My wolf and I missed her like crazy already. We were already feeling empty without her. The sense of loss; weighed heavily on our hearts and minds She kissed my cheek before climbing into the coach.

“I will miss you,” I told her, clasping her hand as she climbed up the step. She gave me a small smile and pressed her hand to my cheek where she had kissed it. She didn’t say anything, and I searched her eyes, hoping they would convey what her lack of words wasn’t. I wish I hadn’t because her eyes showed no love, no remorse for leaving. Just emptiness.

“I am no expert on the mate bond, but I don’t think it’s meant to be like – this,” I told my brother with a deflated breath. “I don’t think she loves me,” I spoke honestly because I was so confused, so beaten – so lost.

“Kian,” Rostam took a seat next to me, leaning back. His lanky legs stretched out and his arms crossed over his chest. He exhaled a long breath before speaking “I don’t know either, but she is your mate. The other piece of your soul. She was made for you; of course, she loves you.”

“I will give her another week and then I am planning to visit her. I can’t be away from her that long. Even before she left Ruda was feeling the loss of her. Each night we woke up and I felt a burn in my chest from her absence and that was just with her sleeping in another room. How will I be able to handle her being away from us and so far?” I looked to my older brother for answers. He was older than me but still young, but so wise. He would make a grand king when his time came.

He scratched the side of his head; he had a confused look on his face like something was bothering him. “Being away from her affects you that much? That you felt a Burning in your chest?” He queried.

“Yes,” I nod “Like my heart was on fire. My wolf howled at her loss, not having that contact with his mate.”

Rostam suddenly stood up and looked uneasy. “The best way to deal with this, until you see her again, is to throw yourself into training, take your mind off it and concentrate on something else. There are new recruits to train.” He began to walk away but abruptly stopped. Turning to look at me, sympathy shining from his eyes “Kian, it will get better. This is just a small bump in the road. I promise things will work out in the end. You’ll see.” He offered me a small sympathetic smile before leaving me to my own thoughts once again.

I wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince me or himself. Either way, I would come to find out it wouldn’t matter.

For the next week, I poured everything I had into training the new recruits as well as leading exercises for our Elite guards. I may only be eighteen, but I was strong, fluent in technique, and handled weapons more efficiently and gracefully than that of my father’s top commanders as well as his Delta. I was made for this, born to lead an army and when my brother became King, I would serve him loyally.

I was fine during the day when I was up to my neck in training and paperwork. It was at night when I climbed into my cold bed. The scent of Daylilies – Divya’s scent – still clung to the room and her pillow. I woke up a few times to that same burn in my chest. Sweat trickled down my forehead and a thin sheen of perspiration would coat my chest. My wolf was uneasy and pacing in my mind, howling for his mate.

Is this what separation anxiety felt like? Is this what being away from your mate caused?

By the end of the week, I couldn’t even sleep. Fearful of waking up with that same ache. It was too much. I was weak. Weak without my mate. Is this why my father never marked my mother? Because he would be weak if he had to leave her and go into battle? Sometimes battles would keep you from home for weeks, sometimes months.

I was leaving the next day for the city of Ishmel, I had to see Divya. The whole week had been torturous for me, and I had thrown everything I had into my duties to keep my mind off her. I had been so lost in my thoughts of her and trying to focus on the new warriors I hadn’t even seen my father or brothers for the past week. Though, not seeing Farid was a good thing. Blood or not I couldn’t stand him. He was a selfish and narcissistic bastard. For whatever reason, he thought the realm owed him and he was above his peers. The sad thing was Abbas, his younger brother had the same mentality and was as equally a piece of shit and took his cues from Farid. They were both just as conniving and spiteful as their mother.

Once again, I climbed into a cold and unwelcoming bed, this time with hope and peace of mind that tomorrow I would see my mate and be able to touch her. Wrap my arms around her and taste her sweet lips again. I truly hoped she would be willing to come back to the palace with me and that she had taken the time she needed to adjust. Sleep found me easily that night – maybe because I knew I would be seeing my love the next day. The thought helped as I fell asleep with a smile on my face just thinking about seeing her again after too long apart.

That peaceful sleep I had fallen into was short-lived when I woke up in the middle of the night. Sticky sweat coated me, and I grasped at my chest as the burning sensation was extreme, more extreme than it had been before. I gasped for breath at the searing heat that engulfed me and pounded at the area over my heart that was beating so erratically that I thought it was going to burst right from my chest.

Ruda, my wolf, began to howl and whine, piercing my ears from the inside out.

‘Ruda, calm down,’ I pleaded with my wolf ‘We will see her tomorrow, just one more day!’ I couldn’t take the pain in my chest and the pain my wolf’s cries were causing at the same time. It was agonizing. I couldn’t live like this. Divya had to come home with me. I wouldn’t live if this is what our separation caused.

Finally, after some time, the pain dissipated, and my wolf calmed down to only pacing in my mind. By the time morning rolled around, I was exhausted and drained. Yet the elated thought of seeing Divya again was still there, trying to break through the blanket of fatigue that had befallen me this week, and last night had been the worst of all.

The next day, late afternoon, I arrived at Lord Alpha Bijan’s estate, excited to Divya once again. I hadn’t called her to let her know I was coming. I wanted to surprise her. My carriage stopped outside her gates, and I hopped out with a wide grin on my face. Nervous, elevated, and anxious all at the same time.

I was greeted by their head maid at the front door and welcomed in where she led me to Lord Alpha Bijan’s office. It was customary to present yourself to the head of the household or Alpha upon arrival in our kingdom. The maid opened the door to his office to let me in, obviously, she had mind-linked her Alpha upon my arrival.

However, I was not expecting to see my brother Farid sitting across from the Alpha, both enjoying a glass of amber liquid. I scowled wondering why he would be here without my father but quickly wiped the look from my face. “Brother,” I said cocking my head “What a surprise to see you here. I didn’t know you had business with Lord Bijan?”

“Well, little brother, you don’t need to know everything. Besides, Lord Alpha Bijan invited me here. It seems we share a similar…” He paused, a smug look on his face accompanied by a sinister smirk “…outlook.”

I bit back the growl I wanted to let out. I had no idea what Farid was up to, but I had the distinct feeling it was nothing good. Instead, I turned my attention to Alpha Bijan “Afternoon sir, I came to see my mate, Divya. I was hoping to spend some time with her. With your permission, I was hoping it would be fine to spend a few days with her here before I hopefully take her home?”

“Of course, young prince! She is your mate after all. I am sure she will be plenty happy to see you. Would you care to join us in discussions of matters of alliances first?” His tone wasn’t somewhere between upbeat and surprised which didn’t match the look of worry in his eyes as he cast my brother a quick glance.

“No thank you, sir. I would like to go find Divya.”

“Ahh yes, young love. We can discuss matters later.” He smiled towards me lifting his glass as I offered him one back and was just heading out the door of his office when he called to me “Kian,” He said waiting until I looked behind me towards him “Be patient with my Divya, she is a troubled soul at times.”

I didn’t know what that meant or what he meant by it, so I thanked him for his advice and closed the door behind me.

It didn’t take much for me to locate Divya, all I had to do was follow the sweet fragrance of Daylilies to their open garden and there was. Sitting on the edge of a water fountain. Her fingers dipped into the water, lazily skimming the surface back and forth. Her long black hair was braided and hanging down one side over her shoulder. The pink Kaftan she wore made her skin look darker and softer. Her lips were upturned in the slightest smile. She looked – happy. Light and at ease as the sun illuminated her silhouette from behind.

I took a sharp breath in at her beauty and that’s when she noticed me. Her head snapped up at the sound and the smile on her lips faded. The serene and peaceful look on her face now morphed into one of confusion and I thought I saw a hint of anger. I’m sure I was mistaken.

“Kian!” She exclaimed surprised. Her hand halting its movements and her brows knitting together. Her dark eyes flared “Why are you here?”

Her question made me flinch and take a slight step back. It wasn’t even so much what she said, rather how she said it. Like my presence was an annoyance. “I – I missed my mate. I missed you Divya” I had no idea what to say. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting when I saw her but it sure as heck wasn’t this. Maybe a smile, a hug, maybe an: I miss you too. Definitely not, the cold-toned question she snapped out.

“Oh.” She said standing up, her posture relaxing slightly but her lips were still pursed, and her eyes darted from me to around the garden and back again. “I am sorry, I didn’t know you were coming, I was just surprised is all.” She then gave me her sweet smile, but it seemed fake, not meeting her eyes.

“My wolf and I missed you. Our nights have been sleepless without you. My heart aches to be with you, my love.” I took a step toward her and reached out for her hands once I was close enough. God’s she was so beautiful, she took my breath away. “Are you not happy to see me?” I dared to ask her.

“Of course, I am,” she sighed.

We spent that afternoon walking the grounds of the estate. Our conversation was minimal and we stuck to what we had been doing on our days apart. Later we joined her family along with my brother Farid for dinner. It was pleasant and I felt we were connecting again. My wolf was happy being in his mate’s presence, that’s all he wanted. Her scent subdued him, and my previous anxiety began to wither the more I was with her.

I was given a separate room, even though I had already marked and mated her. “I’m not ready yet, Kian,” she told me “I just need some time, this is all so fast for me.” She explained. I respected her wishes and didn’t make a fuss, though I wanted nothing more than to let my tongue trace over her soft skin and taste her. I wanted so badly to sink into my mate and make love to her. Yet, her father’s words rang in the back of my mind to give her time.

I was with her, that would be enough. Intimacy could come later. The important thing was I was near to her and that satisfied not only me but also my wolf. For now.

Sometime in the middle of the night, I woke, my heart thundering beneath my skin and chest so tight I thought I was dying. I scrambled from the bed, my lips dry and heated, my throat closed and swollen.

Gasping for air I stumbled to the door, flinging it open. I needed help. The pain was so intense I wanted to claw my chest open, to rip out my heart that felt like it was ready to explode.

I stumbled into the hallway, not sure where I was going. Water. I needed water. The sound of grunts and moans filtered into the quiet hallway, only being picked up because of my wolf’s hearing.

“Help” I gasped out bracing my hand on a wall – my legs ready to collapse under me the pain was that extreme. I headed to the stairwell, still not sure what my plan was. I needed help, that’s all I knew.

My wolf was howling with the pain, feeling what I was experiencing. I stumbled again, the sound of lovers in the throes of passion was closer to me. I didn’t care if I interrupted, I couldn’t go on like this, I was going to die if someone didn’t help me now!

I turned the knob on the door, my body sliding down to the floor as the door opened slowly. I didn’t have the energy to push it open hard. “Help” I tried to shout again, crawling on my hands and knees, but the words were lodged in my swollen throat. The immense pain in my heart searing beyond belief I could hardly gasp when my eyes landed on the two lovers whose attention I was desperately trying to get.

I think my heart stopped. I wish it had.

Because there, crying out “Yes, harder! Fuck me good and hard!” Was my mate being fucked good and plenty by another. I could do nothing but watch her climax as my brother pummeled his dick into her deep and fast sucking on her nipple as she rode him. “Yes! Farid! Yes! You are so much more powerful than Kian!” she cried out.

“That’s right, take it good. My brother is weak, now you know what it feels like to get fucked by a future King. I claim you as my mistress; you will bear my offspring.” He gritted out while rutting into her. Their bodies, a tangled mess – her face contorted in a pleasure I had never provided.

The last thing I remember as I backed up, crawling away and listening to her cry out another orgasm was the look in his eyes as they met mine: watching and hearing him grunt as his seed spilled into her. The look of sinister triumph bore into me. I would never be able to erase that look from my mind. I don’t know how I managed to crawl back to my room. I don’t know how I managed to live after seeing that.

I felt worthless, less than worthless. My wolf was quiet. Gone. Hidden deep in the back of my mind in shame and loss. I wasn’t one to cry but the tears had fallen. Once I could breathe again my eyes were open and the pain had subsided and all I was feeling was emptiness. I wanted to go and tear my brother to shreds. Rip him limb from limb. He claimed MY MATE as his MISTRESS!

No. no, that would not happen. And she allowed him to! She wanted him! This wasn’t him taking advantage of her. My mate, a marked mate - willingly fucked my brother! She is mine! Only mine!

Only she would never be mine again.