"O my people, this worldly life is only [temporary] enjoyment, and indeed, the Hereafter - that is the home of [permanent] settlement"(QURAN 40:39)
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8 YEARS AGO
"And between them will be a barrier screen and on Al-A'raf (a wall with elevated places) will be men (whose good and evil deeds would be equal in scale), who would recognise all (of the Paradise and Hell people), by their marks (the dwellers of Paradise by their white faces and the dwellers of Hell by their black faces), they will call out to the dwellers of Paradise, "Salamun 'Alaikum" (peace be on you), and at that time they (men on Al-A'raf) will not yet have entered it (Paradise), but they will hope to enter (it) with certainty."(7:46-Al Quran)
She couldn't stop thinking about the theology lecture from last period. Something about it had got stuck with her.
'It shouldn't be so bad though. It is still better than going to hell, right?' She made an attempt to pacify herself and get some comfort in the process.
"Hey, Samar?" She asked, without looking at her. It was the start of winter season but winters in Gulf meant 15 degrees temperature in the most extreme conditions. Yet, most of the kids in school were already in their winter uniform.
"Hmm?" Samar returned distracted. For a while longer, Aasiya continued to stare at the kids in the playground. After being lost in her thoughts, she turned to face Samar, who was scribbling in her sketch book, which Aasiya had gifted to her along with a huge box of art supplies for her 13th birthday. Aasiya watched her face for a moment longer, which had a look of sheer concentration that she wore rarely.
"Do you love sketching that much?" She asked finally, watching her sketch the playground.
"Yes. It's the only thing that I am passionate about." She answered without looking up; a gentle smile playing on her lips. As Aasiya continued to watch her, a painful realisation struck her, as it did during such rare moments.
'Samar is so different from me.' She was thinking this, when Samar looked up suddenly. This took Aasiya by surprise and she turned away abruptly.
"What are you thinking now, Aasiya?" Samar inquired without missing a beat. However, she didn't meet her eyes, pretending to not notice her gaze.
"You are amazing at everything that you do. There's nothing that you lack. From strong and rich family background to good looks and intelligence; Allah has blessed you with everything and anything a person can ask or hope for." Samar continued but Aasiya was only listening with half an ear to the things that she had heard a million times before.
'What do you know.' She thought bitterly.
"—you'll be an amazing surgeon! I just know it!" At this Aasiya turned to her with a chuckle.
"Don't you know how hard it is to get admission in medical colleges in Pakistan these days?" She watched Samar with wide eyes, who was staring back at her with a satisfied smile.
"Of course! But you are the best in our class. I know you'll make it." She ended in a matter of fact way.
"You are the only one who thinks that." She muttered under her breath, stealing a glance at Samar who had returned to sketching in her book once again.
PRESENT TIME
"Assalamualaikum baji." Nasira said as she opened the door for me.
"1! 2! 3! 4 turn! And 5! 6–-" My gaze wandered towards the basement from where loud music and noises could be heard. Even without going in there, I knew it was full of guests and cousins preparing for the mehndi tomorrow.
"Walaikumusalam." I returned coming in.
"Baji, do you want lunch?"
"No. I am good." I returned distracted, going up to my room but the entire drawing room and hallway was stuffed with Faiza's stuff. Her dowry, furniture, bags and boxes along with other stuff for the upcoming wedding. Tiptoeing through all the stuff I carefully made way to my bedroom. Sigh..Its finally that time huh?
I came down a while later to get some water when I saw the kitchen was in an uproar.
"That's a lot of food, Nasira. Is everyone staying for dinner?" I asked bewildered looking at all the dishes on the dining table.
"Oh no. It's because Sahab and Baji are coming back today and your Uncles and Aunties would be coming too. It's going to be a proper dawat. Baji had instructed me on the phone that everything should be ready before they reach. Imran has already left to pick them up from the Airport. They might be coming any minute now." Nasira explained to me but I had already turned a blind ear to her, as I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and the ice cream container.
I was making way upstairs when I came face to face with Haniya, daughter of Mum's sister.
"Hey Aasiya!" She hugged me and I tried to return it while keeping hold on my ice cream.
"Where have you been?! We have been waiting for you since ages. Come on we are preparing the dances! You have to dance as well!" She announced enthusiastically, without leaving me room to interject.
"I am the last person, whom anyone would want up on stage. I can't dance." I returned calmly, rejecting flat-out.
"I am sure that's just your excuse to bail. There's no way you're missing out on your only sisters' wedding—" She was complaining when Faiza cut her off.
"Leave her be Huny. She is in the middle of her final proff exams." She remarked nonchalantly while drinking from her bottle. I looked at her blankly before turning to smile at Haniya.
"Oh yeah, you did mention it before. I think my mind isn't in it's place anymore with all that choreographing. When is your last exam?" She rambled on and on and I silently watched her with a smile plastered on my face.
"Tomorrow." Before I could say anything, Faiza spoke. My gaze lingered on her face for a moment longer, who wasn't even looking at me.
"Oh you poor soul. We'll try to keep it down. Best of luck."
"You too. Have fun."I returned and waved her bye, before turning to leave. Coming back to my room, I made myself comfortable on my bed, with the ice cream box in my lap and a movie playing on the TV. My exams had been over for a week now and I was officially done with my medical degree. Almost, until the result comes out. I was replying to a text on my phone when suddenly the bell went off. My gaze froze at the door. A few minutes later I could make out other peoples noises. Slowly, I got up from the bed and locked my door. After getting back to bed, I switched off the TV and opened up my laptop, with headphones blaring music in my ears.
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Glancing at my reflection in the mirror one last time, I adjusted the bangs falling on my forehead.
"Nasira? Nasira I don't want breakfa--" Before I could complete my sentence I was cut short by the sight of my mother. Shoot! I didn't think she would be up this early. To think, I had gone through so much effort of avoiding them.
"Oh, so you finally decide to bless us with your presence?" She exclaimed unamused as she walked towards me; arms outstretched. I awkwardly placed my hands on her back while she engulfed me in a hug and made kissing sounds while patting my cheeks with her face.
"Hi Mom." I muttered under my breath at which she seemed positively apalled.
"Hi, Aasiya? I think its a tad bit late for that, won't you agree?" She returned sarcastically before picking up her mug of green tea and walking out of the kitchen. I stood there for a moment contemplating whether to let her be or to follow her. In the end after having told Nasira, who was standing to the side, seemingly absorbed in her work about breakfast, I followed Mom.
"To say it was embarrassing to explain your absence yesterday would be the understatement of the year. How hard was it for you to come down and greet everyone? Thank God for Faiza, who handled the situation with an excuse of your exams. Otherwise, I was exhausted trying to cover up my humiliation. Will you ever stop for a second and start thinking about others instead of yourself, for once?" I heard her lecture with a roll of eyes, following her to the drawing room.
"Anyways, I don't want any—and I mean, ANY unnecessary drama today. Am I clear, Aasiya?" She inquired, without looking up from her phone while taking a seat on the sofa. I stood there, watching her for a moment; contemplating. In the end, relented with a nod.
"Yes mother." She looked up briefly to nod her approval, before going back to her phone. Before she could pose anymore questions or lectures, I turned and left. With the exams over, we finally had time to relax, however this shadi business had taken that away from me too. So, I had decided to spend my afternoon with my friends. Even if short lived, anything is better than staying in this house right now. I thought, taking the car out of the garage.
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It was the perfect wedding.
A mixed social gathering, where the youngsters danced on professionally choreographed songs. The stage was especially prepared, alongside the elaborate and expensive decor. The best couture and jewellery, that anyone in the country could only dream of affording. Teamed up with the best photographers and impeccable management. To top it up, leading politicians, celebrities and elites of the country, made the guest list.
'The dream wedding! The best of the best! There was nothing in it's parallel! This was it. The epitome of grandeur! Crème de la crème!!'
I scoffed at the thought, whilst watching the girls walk down the stage, hand in hand with their male partners.
'How ridiculous.'
The thought struck me, as I chugged down the last of my soft drink and walked away from my hidden spot and out into the dark; away from sparkles of the wedding. The chill caught my skin, causing me to shiver. So, I opted to pull my net dupatta around me. Although, it hardly gave any comfort but still, it was better than nothing.
I pulled open the door to my car and stepped in my aqua pink lehnga. High-end designer ofcourse.
'God knows, how much my Mother had spent on this dress alone.'
Taking off my heels, I turned on the music to full volume and drove into the night. I would be dead for this later, when they found out, but for the most part, I think they had given up on me.
I drove onto the deserted road for sometime until a car came into view. Barely giving it a second thought, I had let it overtake me. Except, it didn't take the lead.
I glanced back through the rear-view mirror, but couldn't make out anyone in the darkness. Stepping on the accelerator, I sped up and turned down the volume but the car was still on my tail. There wasn't anyone on the road for a long while now and I didn't seem to have missed any turn.
I could sense myself starting to panic. My heart was thumping loudly in my chest and my hands were visibly shaking with tremors. I had tried to pick up my phone, when suddenly there was a loud horn.
In shock, I dropped the phone, somewhere near my feet. The blaring of horn didn't stop. It was alternating between long and short pauses now and I was finding it hard to breathe.
Unable to shake off the tremors in my hand, I picked up the speed but it didn't overthrow the car, instead, it kept on closing the distance.
I took a moment to glance at the rear view mirror and saw the headlights flashing. Just for a moment, only a fraction of second, I lost control and the next thing I know, I am crashing.
“No disaster strikes except by permission of Allah . And whoever believes in Allah - He will guide his heart. And Allah is Knowing of all things.” (QURAN 64:11)**********************"Ugh.."A grunt escaped my lips as the effects of black out started wearing off; drifting between consciousness and unconsciousness for an unknown period of time, before finally being able to pry my eyes open. For a while, I couldn't fully comprehend about my current state. Everything felt hazy and that blasting headache—I thought with a groan and unconsciously lifted my right hand to my head; when I found it immobilised. A sharp pain travelled up my arm as a result of my attempt to free it. Taking a few sharp breaths, I tried to take in my
"And He is with you wherever you are. And Allah, of what you do, is Seeing.” (QURAN 57:4)*************************"Excuse me. Can you take me to Serena Hotel?'' I asked a cab driver outside the Gilgit Airport in Urdu wondering if he would understand.
“And never say of anything, ‘Indeed, I will do that tomorrow’, unless Allah should will it.” (QURAN 18:23)***********************I got up early in the morning, had some breakfast and went to Amo's house. I stood infront of her gate and knocked when I heard a male's voice. I guessed that it was her son Hadi, whom she kept talking about yesterday. I waited for the gate to open when I heard someone's footsteps. I had a smile on my face thinking about Amo and Zahra when the gate opened to reveal the guy from last night. My smile immediately faltered. I gaped at him shocked to find him looking at me with a mixed expression of surprise and annoyance.
“But they plan, and Allah plans. And Allah is the best of planners.” (QURAN 8:30)************************"What the hell is the meaning of this?! How dare you spout that nonsense out there!! Is there anything left for you to destroy?!" My mother kept screaming her heart out but I sat there silently scrolling through my phone; checking up on my flight for Gilgit.
“And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me - indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me. So let them respond to Me [by obedience] and believe in Me that they may be [rightly] guided.” (QURAN 2:186)************************************"Hadi dear, after breakfast, accompany Aasiya to get her stuff from the hotel." I looked up from my breakfast and watched from Amo to Hadi, who obediently nodded at her command. Noticing my gaze, Amo gave me a small smile, which I returned with my own.We were sitt
“And you will have therein [heaven] whatever your souls desire, and you will have therein whatever you request [or wish].” (QURAN 41:31)*************************
“And We charge no soul except [with that within] its capacity, and with Us is a record which speaks with truth; and they will not be wronged.” (QURAN 23:62)*************************We were walking along the roadside when we spotted a crowd in the middle of the road. Before I could say anything, Hadi was already running towards it. I followed his lead, quickly making my way towards the crowd and pushed through. The first thing I noticed was a wailing woman on the ground holding a bloody child, not more than 3 or 4 year old to her chest. I could feel the blood draining from my face at the sight and a cold shiver ran down my spine. Immediately taking hold of my senses, I dropped down on the ground next to the woman.
“He knows what is in every heart.” (QURAN 67:13)****************************"It's alright Samar—It's just a mock exam—! You can try again—!" I tried to comfort her, putting my hands on her shoulders. My heart breaking, watching her wail. Suddenly, she looked up and slapped away my hands with a jerk."ALRIGHT?!! Alright, you say?!! What do you even know? HUH?! Everything is so easy for you Aasiya!! You have everything!! Everything and everyone! While I—Did you even think how I f
'An author is nothing, if not for it's readers.'~HRASSALAMUALAIKUM WA REHMATULLAHI WA BARAKATUHU, dear readers!!
“Gardens of perpetual residence; they will enter them with whoever were righteous among their fathers, their spouses and their descendants. And the angels will enter upon them from every gate, [saying], "Peace be upon you for what you patiently endured. And excellent is the final home." (QURAN 13:23-24)****************************5 YEARS LATER"Maama—are we there, yet?" Aasiya heard her 5 year old daughter's inquiry and looked away from the road to watch her through the rearview mirror;
“Among the believers are men true to what they promised Allah. Among them is he who has fulfilled his vow [to the death], and among them is he who awaits [his chance]. And they did not alter [the terms of their commitment] by any alteration.” (QURAN 33:23)***********************FINAL CHAPTERWe were sitting by the stream with his head resting on my lap. His eyes were closed as he intently listened to my recitation of the Holy Quran. After I finished, he slowly opened his eyes to look up at me. A small smile form
“And no soul knows what has been hidden for them of comfort for eyes as reward for what they used to do.” (QURAN 32:17)****************************"Do you need my help with anything, Haadi?" I asked, stepping into the kitchen, where Haadi was busy preparing feast for her brother-in-law and his family, who were visiting for winter break."No, Aasi. You're already handling Zimal. That's 50 times tougher than preparing a feast for the whole village—" She remarked with a light chuckle, directing her gaze to the 7 month old Zimal, screaming playfully in my
“And proclaim to the people the Hajj [pilgrimage]; they will come to you on foot and on every lean camel; they will come from every distant pass.” (QURAN 22:27)*****************************"Naveed. What's wrong?"I could hear Mom's worry laced voice over me; yet, didn't try opening my eyes. Her hand stroking my head on her lap didn't halt and neither the tears streaming down my closed eyes.
"If Allah knows [any] good in your hearts, He will give you [something] better than what was taken from you, and He will forgive you; and Allah is Forgiving and Merciful." (QURAN 8:70)***************************He continued to sit in his place on the ground and watch me unblinking. As if, his mind couldn't comprehend what his ears were hearing and he wished someone to nudge him out of this trance.Finally, he blinked and averted his gaze. His mouth hung open, in hope to say something but words seemed to have lost him. I kept on watching the bewildered
“Say, ‘Indeed, my prayer, my rites of sacrifice, my living and my dying are for Allah, Lord of the worlds.’” (QURAN 6:162)************************I stood in my place watching him, unblinking. Not realising that I was holding in my breath.I continued to gawk him from afar, until he began to close the distance with short steps. I had to suck in a sharp breath to be able to breathe again, when he stopped just a foot from me.
“Do you not know that to Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth and [that] you have not besides Allah any protector or any helper?” (QURAN 2:107)************************"—You can be damned to hell for all I care—!! Throw him out!" She screamed through eyes burning with loathe and before I could say anything else, the guard had roughly pushed against my chest and I fell down the steep slope, outside the main gate."Sahab—!" I heard Azam call behind me, as I sat wincing on the ground, clutching at my prosthetic leg.
“Except for those who repent after that and correct themselves. For indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” (QURAN 3:89)**************************"Bhaiya—You looked dashing in beard too, though—" I heard Faiq's remarks over me, while I wiped away the remnants of shave on my face with a towel."Princess! How is my 'no shave November' look?!" I barged into her room, without waiting to hear her respond to my knock. Barely looking up from the books sprawled infront of her on the study table; she shot me an irritated glance."Great. First you were a monkey. Now a gorilla—" She remarked exasperated, turning back to her books with a long sigh."Naveed—Are you going out?" I paused in my wheelchair at Mum's voice. Unable to meet her worried gaze, I fixated my gaze to my hand on the handles."I—I was going to—masjid—" I felt the words getting knotted in the back of my throat. After last night, I couldn't get that voice out of my mind. I wondered maybe—"Masjid—? Why? You can pray here, if yo