CHAPTER 3

ESMERAY

"I have no interest in this mate nonsense. You are nothing more than a distraction. Do not get in my way, princess."

As my wolf, Fox, howled mournfully, I felt a wave of sadness wash over me.

My legs trembled, and I couldn't feel them anymore.

It was a miracle that I still had the strength to stand on my own two feet after hearing those words from my mate. They crippled me from within.

His rejection shattered the daydream I had been lost in, imagining us together, simply by locking eyes with his mesmerizing crystal green gaze.

I wasn't sure if I had heard him correctly or if I simply couldn't accept the fact that my mate had rejected me without even getting to know me.

We remained in the same position, but the only change was the transformation of the colorful smile on my face into a sorrowful expression.

He refused to let go of my wrist even after those hurtful words he just spoke to me pierced through my wolf. Was he waiting for my response, or was he not finished rejecting me?

"W...What?" I managed to stutter, struggling to hold back the tears that threatened to cascade down my cheeks. "Are... Are you rejecting me?"

"I didn't stutter when I said it," he said, his eyes blazing like a furnace. "Do not try to make me yours, princess. I am not merciful to disobedience, and I won't be just because you are the princess."

He flung my hands away from his hold nonchalantly after those final words. Without a backward glance, he walked away to the battlefield, leaving me with a shattered heart. Finally, I released my hold, and tears cascaded down my cheeks freely.

I continued to stare in his direction as he walked away. I would have kept my gaze fixed on him until he was out of sight, but my tears blurred my vision sooner than I expected.

My hands found their way to my mouth, and I cried out my pain freely, knowing well that he wouldn't be able to hear me from his distance. I cried until I fell to the ground, burying my face in my knees with my hands wrapped around them.

I was certain I would have fallen asleep in my own tears if my palace guards hadn't come looking for me after I had spent so long in the chambers. The next thing I could remember was seeing the roof of my room before falling into a deep sleep, and it felt like an eternity before I woke up.

I didn't want to remember the pain I felt when my fated mate rejected me earlier, so I wished to the Goddess not to wake up again when I fell asleep.

Unfortunately, the Goddess didn't grant my wish as I woke up to the cheerful tone of Miriam. She patted my right leg gently while calling out to me.

I slowly opened my eyes to see Miriam by my bedside, but my puffy eyes made it difficult to get a clear view of her.

It was obvious that I had cried my pains out in the chambers when my mate rejected me, resulting in falling asleep in my own tears.

I stood up and sat on my bed, clearing my eyes with the back of my palms so I could see clearly before looking at Miriam with a somber expression.

"Oh my goddess! Are you okay, my princess?" Her words broke the silence in the room. "Your face looks like you've been crying all day."

I couldn't find the words to tell her about being rejected by my mate. Instead, my tears threatened to flow down my cheeks like a flood for the second time.

I felt embarrassed, disowned, and unwanted by my mate. How did it come to this? What was my crime for wanting to be claimed by him?

Miriam reached out her soft hands to mine in a caring manner, holding them close to hers warmly. "You know you can count on me for anything, my princess."

I sighed upon hearing those words, biting my bottom lip as I held back the tears from falling.

I trust Miriam. We've been together since childhood, and I consider her more like a sister than my personal maid because I share everything with her.

I didn't want the beautiful blonde lady sitting beside me to feel pity for me because she knows how long I have waited for my mate to claim me and not reject me.

Miriam, of all people, knows how much I have yearned to be claimed by my fated mate, even from our childhood days.

I gazed into her beautiful crystal brown eyes, gathering my emotions before uttering a word.

"Is something wrong with me, Miriam?" I asked her, stepping off my bed and now staring at my confused reflection in my large princess mirror.

"What?"

"Is my belief in the mate bond nonsense?"

"No, of course not, my princess."

"Am I but a distraction?" I asked, and this time, a tear managed to slip from my eyes.

I didn't receive a reply this time. Instead, she hurriedly stood up, rushed towards me, and hugged me tightly. However, I didn't hug her back, and I finally released the flood of tears that had gathered in my eyes all this time.

"It's okay, it's okay, let it all out, my princess," she said as I cried loudly on her shoulders, tightly clenching my fists. I could also feel Fox crying within me.

It took a while until I managed to steady my breathing after what felt like an endless sob. Finally, Miriam released me from her arms and placed her hands on my shoulders.

"I was rejected by my mate, Miriam." I burst into tears once more as I uttered those words. "He called me a distraction, Miriam, and called our mate bond nonsense."

"You found your fated mate before the end of the Battle of the Alphas?" Miriam exclaimed.

I sighed at her question before answering in a sad tone, "Yes. And he rejected me."

She gestured for us to sit by the side of my bed, and I continued pouring out my dilemma to her.

"How dare he reject the princess of the Silverstone Pack, the daughter of the Lycan king of this kingdom?!" she said with a slight glare. "He should consider himself lucky to be mated to you, Esmeray!"

"I don't feel that special today, Miriam," I said, biting my lips to hold back the tears.

"His loss, my dear."

"You know I can't just give up on the mate bond, Miriam," I said, leaning toward her from where I sat. "It's been my childhood dream to be claimed by my fated Alpha."

"I know... but I don't want you to hurt this way Esmeray."

"Then help me get a chance to talk with him again."

"Esmeray..." Miriam resisted.

"Please, Miriam. I want him to clear the confusion in my head. I want him to give me reasons why I'm a distraction to him and why he called our mate bond nonsense!" I pleaded with her, and this time a tear escaped my eyes, rolling down my cheeks.

"Maybe the Goddess doesn't want you to be with him, Esmeray. You were supposed to find your mate after the Battle of the Alphas, not before. It is a tradition of the Lycan kingdom ordained by the Moon Goddess," she said, clasping my palms with hers. "Maybe he is a curse for you."

I withdrew my palms from hers and shifted backward after her last statement.

"Miriam!"

"You know I'm just looking out for my best friend in this entire kingdom."

Miriam and I were the same age, although she had turned 18 a few months before I did. I had just turned 18 a week ago, which prompted my father to announce the beginning of the Battle of the Alphas.

I had eagerly looked forward to it, only for my hopes to be shattered by the one and only mate given to me by the Goddess.

The worst part was knowing that I wasn't the only one affected. Fox, my wolf, was also silent after our encounter with our mate. I tried calling out to her, but she only howled in pain. I didn't want to live like this. I needed answers as to why the Goddess seemed to punish me in this way.

And the one person who could provide the answers I sought was him—my fated mate. Otherwise, these unanswered questions would drive me to madness.

But perhaps Miriam was right. Maybe he was a curse for me. However, I still deserved to know why the Goddess had decided curse me.

"Please, Miriam, I just want answers to these questions in my head, and only my mate can give them to me."

Silence hung in the air.

"Miriam," I insisted.

"Alright," she finally agreed, cupping my face with her soft and warm hands while a smile slipped from her lips.

"I heard from the palace guards that the reward for the surviving alphas today would be a she-wolf to sleep with," she said, causing my eyes to widen.

"Sex is their reward?" I exclaimed, my voice growing louder with each word.

"Yes. I'm sure the king just wants to test who is most sexually fit among them."

I couldn't help but feel bothered by the thought of my fated mate having sex with someone other than me, and I heard Fox growl in agreement.

But then again, he had rejected me, and even though he had given me the freedom to choose another mate, it was still him my heart wants.

"I could find a way to sneak you a chance to talk with him, then," Miriam's words snapped me out of my thoughts.

I clasped her palms with mine to show gratitude.

Both our heads tilted reflexively towards the door as we heard a knock on my room.

By his scent, I already knew who he was, and my mood sank because I didn't want him to see me in this state, but I couldn't drive him away either.

"Come in!" I said reluctantly.

After I said those words, the door of my room opened, and he stepped in wearing his favorite royal blue garment covered in beads. I could spot a soft smile dancing on his lips.

"Hope I'm not disturbing the ladies," he said, his lips now adorned with a smirk.

It was Beta Leon of the Blue Rock Pack from the west side, and my heart sank.